DS wants to repeat Year 13

[user20]

Hi,

My 18 y/o DS who is in Year 13 and is due to finish school forever at the end of this year is wanting to go back next year to repeat the year. He is currently out on study leave.

Basically, he is only doing one a level as his attendance was below 80%, not just this year but last year in year 12 too.

He has had no valid reason for this behaviour, he has just been lazy and made excuses and turned up to school whenever and when it suited him.

He is an intelligent guy, he got 4As and 1B and 2Cs in his GCSEs, It has annoyed me and my DH a lot over the last two years that he has wasted his potential like this, he could have done so much better.

I just want him to have a better life and employment opportunities.

He just seemed so distracted over sixth year, he just seems to be always on his phone and listening to music and on social media. he was missing deadlines, not revising for exams, well last year he did but left it to very close to the exams and came out with 2Ds and a C in his AS exams which is impressive for somebody who didn't bother going to school or revising.

The school were meant to Kick him out so many times as they tried working with him but he didn't co operate, the workload got too much and he had to drop down to one a level a few months ago as it was too much work to do in such a short period of time.

He has a btec ict exam in a few days and hes done nothing for it - he can't even be bothered to work for one exam.

He has said often that he regrets his behaviour as he knows he was capable of doing more and maybe going to uni in September, I wouldn't be bothered if he chose not to go to uni but I think he needs his a levels.

Anyway, after a long wasted two years, reality has kicked in as he now wants to have a good career and has found out that if he were to start a two year a level course at an FE College, his education wouldn't be funded from September 2020 onwards.

He now wants the option to go back to school next year and repeat Year 13 - is it likely after all this carry on that they'll have him back?

I haven't read the full thread but it reminds me of ds. We are in lreland so things are different. He did nothing in final year here. He completely panicked and was totally overwhelmed. There was a lot of talk from teachers about the huge importance of the year and while lots were motivated by that he ran the other way, terrified of failure.
He did badly but not as badly as he thought considering how little he did. So he went back. School were very supportive...like they sort of got him. He continued on to university and pretty good job now.
So he could settle down.
One thing l notice as a teacher is if kids dabble in drugs they lose all motivation and school completely goes out the window. May not be relevant but be aware.

I think the best thing would be for him not to return to school.

I've seen this aa few times, VI form at school can feel like just an extension of school. You still call teachers by their surnames, or Miss or Sir, you still get home work and detentions etc. Staying on can seem like delaying growing up.

As for funding, well he can take out an FE loan if it is a 2 year course.

My nephew did less well in his A levels than he hoped, he then went to college to take a level 3 BTEC. I’m not sure about whether he was able to access funding in the first year, though the experts on here are very clear that wouldn’t be possible.
But his parents definitely had to pay for the second year of the course.

And op, you say you’re an involved parent but haven’t ever seen your DS’ GCSE certificates? That is seriously not normal.

1. Have a look at his GCSE results. My guess is he took triple science and isn't telling you the grades he got in Physics and Chemistry.

1. The last thing he needs is to go back to a school which has let him get away with being so lazy. He needs a fresh start.

1. He's not the first kid ever to bum out of Alevels. As you say, he doesn't do drugs or party all night. He's basically a good kid, who I suspect has the gift of the gab, and sounds like he's got good mental health, so he's got a head start on many his age. If he didn't mess up Alevels he might have messed up uni which would have been worse because he'd have accumulated a loan.

1. There are loads of options available to him which aren't stacking shelves in Asda.

I'd be looking at doing a BTEC at a FE college, and taking a funding loan if you need it. Ask the college what's available. FE colleges IME are used to dealing with kids who have dropped out of Alevels and can be really helpful.

I'd also be looking at apprenticeships. I suspect your DS would really enjoy one if he found the right place. Yes, they are a long slog to gaining qualifications, but he'd be payed as he went along and I think it would suit his personality more.

If he magically passes the exams he taken this year he might be able to do a foundation year at uni, if he knows what subject he wants to do.

But don't leave any of that to results day. Get on to it now.

He wouldn't have got numbers if in Wales or if he did iGCSEs.

In relation to his gcses - my mum kept all my certificates. Just ask him for the certificates for safe keeping (like vaccination records etc). It was v useful as I was moving all over the place while at uni and after. You could probably ask school what subjects he was entered for and what boards and ask them for replacements if old ones are lost. Easier to do now than a few years down the line when job/uni asks to see them.

I think I'd ask to see his gcse results as they may show you why he's struggling at a level.
The A's if they're real, are great but would show a focus in his learning, has he done those ones at a level?
And yes he should have received way more now, the trend is above 10 GCSEs.

It seems to me that your son is feeling lost and hopeless as he now can't do the expected route of university. He feels like he has failed. (Well, he has failed).

It isn't the end of the world. You need to help him see that. To see alternate paths, and possibly alternate destinations. Seems to me he clearly isn't mature enough for academic study. Let him get a job, see what the 'real world' is like (it was a shock for my DD1). Then when he has grown up, in a year or two, he can do night school, or access courses, or whatever if he really is motivated enough.

Not everyone has A levels and a degree. They lead happy lives. He needs to 'man up', take the consequences of his (in)action, and get a job, any job.

And yes, get him to produce those certificates. He will need them for an employer anyway.

What was said at your DS' annual reviews for his statement? Did you not discuss the next steps? Are you in Wales or did you mean EHCP which can go up to 25?

I think you need to sit down and have a completely honest chat with your son. Including getting out his GCSE results. The only way you can really plan for the future is by facing up the the reality of what's happened. If he's a bright kid it's unlikely he only took 7 GCSEs. It might come as a relief to him to come clean and lay all his cards on the table. If you're right and he worked hard and focussed during GCSEs, then actually failed or dropped out of, say, 3 of them, that must have been tough. Maybe he's just not cut out for A-level but hasn't felt able to admit it when he knows both you and his older brother gained A-levels and degrees.

There are lots of options other than academic routes. Good luck

OP,
I don’t understand how you ‘weren’t consulted ‘ about what subjects he took at GCSE. I don’t understand how you were so blase that you haven’t seen his certificates (especially as you are so proud of his results !), I don’t understand how you went to all those school meetings but continued to fund and allow his 24/7 phone access.

I get that you are angry with him but not how you have used other parenting tools to support him.

Forget anger, he is blaming himself now, find effective guidance and support.

School might tell you his GCSE grades if you call them on Monday.

In particular, if you are in England:

• Maths and English will be numbers
• He is likely to have done English Literature as well as language if indeed he got an A (or whatever number he has translated into an A)
• He will have grades EITHER for double science (2 grades, for Core and Additional, given when he took it) OR for all 3 Sciences OR possibly [not quite sure when single science GCSE ended] one grade for all Sciences together. Biology alone is not possible.

If you are in Wales, things are slightly different, but the school will be able to tell you.

Yesterday I mentioned starting by looking at his GCSE results because your son has clearly been very shady about school related issues. The certificates won't tell you if he's failed something so you need his results slip really.
How old are you that you can't understand GCSE subjects? It's not so different to when we were at school.
Combined Science is a Biology, Physics and Chemistry Course that results in 2 GCSE. Triple Science is a Biology, Physics and Chemistry course that results in 3 GCSEs. Triple is for academic students- especially ones who plan to continue Sciences beyond GCSE. Some schools only offer double but double science in schools that offer triple too is for students who are at least average academically. You can do science A-levels after studying double but triple people will obviously have an edge.
It's unusual for academic students not have an MFL and 7 GCSEs is very little for an academic student in current y13. My y13 Ds is at a comp and studied 10.5 GCSEs and had the chance for more if he was so inclined. My son's school attendance issues started in y11. It was not as bad as y12 but he'd have no shame turning up late. How was your son in y11?

OP you must stop making excuses for your son's behaviour and attitude to school and exams.

He also needs to stop making excuses for his cavalier attitude and you need to stop accepting those excuses.
He chose to skip school and do no work so now his choices are limited. His own fault.

How old are you that you can't understand GCSE subjects? It's not so different to when we were at school.

My DS is sitting A Levels this year and GCSEs are completely different to when I was at school. We did individual sciences for a start. Maybe try not to be so rude

@pikapikachu well, in fact they were different in my day. Don't know about you but I did my O levels in 1984!

Honestly, I'm not worried about DS' gcse subjects. They are irrelevant. I got DS to show me his gcse certificates and all is as at seems, he did 7. I don't know why people are assuming that DS would lie about this? Bit of a silly thing for him to make up

@pikapikachu he was fine in Year 11, his attendance right from the beginning of primary school up until year 11 was excellent. It's only in Year 12 that his attendance started to become bad.

He did however take a few sneaky days in years before year 12 but they were only day here and there and did happen very often e.g the last of a term when it was half day / non uniform etc

@user20 so if you’ve now seen them, what are the grades for maths and English? Why is there only one science and what happened to English lit?

It’s not possible to help without knowing the facts. The GCSE grades may be irrelevant to you but if they are his most recent decent grades (which they will be, given the A Level issue) then they are totally relevant to his next steps.

I think the best thing is just to help him move on now. Get a job to earn some cash and have a think about what he might want to do moving forward.

Also, for the record, to anybody else who seems to think DS is covering up his GCSEs, he is not. I have seen his certificates this morning.

That's not something that came as a surprise to me, I've been to all his parent / teacher meetings during year 10 and 11 and I've seen all his school reports

In the cold light of day there is no reason at all why school would want him back even if they could. You need to make a plan B together with your son so that you both can move forward. You are going round in circles atm. Starting looking at the possibilities without the blame. Have you asked him what he wants?

@EvilTwins he has a 4 in maths and a 7 in English.

I don't know about the science, it must have been a school policy or something, I have no idea. It doesn't really matter. He sat his GCSEs 2 years ago.

His a levels are ict, Geograpny and business Studies. So the subjects he did at a level are what he already did at gcse

Quite possibly a year out would do him a world of good, a chance to take himself more seriously and learn responsibility and really think what he would like to aim for.

@Arewedone he really doesn't know what he wants tbh.

He has even said himself that he doesn't really want to go back to school - he just wants them to leave the door open in case at the end of the summer holidays he feels he needs another year there.

I have asked him since he doesn't really want to go back and if he did would he not do the same thing over again and he said no as he'd be on his last chance and would just get on with it.

He has even said himself that he doesn't really want to go back to school - he just wants them to leave the door open in case at the end of the summer holidays he feels he needs another year there.

The arrogance is mind blowing. You need to take control of this OP, and point out just how far he is taking the school for granted.

So can you answer the questions about them? Why no Lit, what happened to Ch and physics? I suspect he failed those three - probably didn't turn up.

You keep saying you're an involved parent, but everything you post points to a kid who has pulled the wool over his parents eyes, who has been having problems for a lot longer than year 12. And now you think if he's give another chance all will be well.

You have got your head so deeply in the sand here you're ignoring everyone's advice and hoping for a miracle. The reality is likely to be yet another wasted year and you posting again next summer. You need to be formulating a plan with him NOW, not waiting for the inevitable. School or repeating A levels at college are NOT the answers. You need to address the root cause of his issues - but are refusing to do so. Many of us suggest it's because he's not as academic as you say, that he's struggled. But you're ignoring that totally. And he is the one who will suffer with your head in sand attitude. You're not acting in his best interests.

And you still haven't answered my gym/phone questions!