Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

School refusing to call me when DD had a headache

151 replies

misscph1973 · 15/03/2019 12:14

Yesterday my 14 year old DD was in the medical room at school for 40 min. She had a headache, and the first aider gave her paracetamol. After 40 she was no better, but the first aider would not phone me, as she wasn't ill enough. My DD ended up texting me, I phoned the school and said I was going to collect her. When I arrived I was told that my DD was not allowed to contact me and that it would be marked as unauthorised absence. They suggested I get a note from the doctor if I want to pick her up in future against the advice of the first aider.

Surely they should have called me and let me me decide if my DD is ill enough for me to come and get her?

OP posts:

Dramatical · 16/03/2019 23:20

I'm still surprised that (excluding SEN) any 14yo needs help to administer paracetamol for a sore head. What a waste of several people time.

TheStarOnTheChristmasTree · 16/03/2019 23:37

I agree that a 14 year old should be able to take paracetamol themselves but my DC school is really strict on DC not having their own in school to the point where they would check with the DC themselves and once even phoned me to check that my DD wasn't taking her own to school. I said she wasn't but she was because if she took paracetamol very quickly then it was less likely that a migraine would develop thus saving a lot of people's time.

sashh · 16/03/2019 23:47

Just a tip, headache is a side effect of paracetamol, so if your dd's headache doesn't go after taking them it might be she needs something else, but it might be that she is one of those people for whom paracetamol makes it worse.

I had migraines at that age, I was never sent home from school but that was the 1980s.

It really is a difficult call for the school, if it was general knowledge that you would be sent home for a headache then some schools would be empty by 11.00 am.

Original poster

misscph1973 · 17/03/2019 09:55

Wow, 5 pages now!

Thank you to all of you for your suggestions, opinions and in some cases judgements.

I am a former teacher (not in this country) so I do know what it's like on the other side. I can see both sides, that is what makes it difficult. My DD is 14, quite rebellious, very academic and very hormonal. It can be very hard for me to judge which part of her personality I am dealing with most times. But in this case I was not in doubt about what to do.

OP posts:

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 17/03/2019 10:45

this made me laugh as this was 100% me at 14!

My DD is 14, quite rebellious, very academic and very hormonal. It can be very hard for me to judge which part of her personality I am dealing with most times

It sounds like you have a great relationship. She'll come good and you'll laugh about the teenage years

Still18atheart · 17/03/2019 11:03

I’m a first aider at a secondary school. When I student comes to me with a headache if allowed give them paracetamol and tell them to go back to class and make sure they drink plenty of water. If it’s not better in say an hour then come back and tend to call parents. Obviously it’s on a case case basis and depends on the individual. What you could do is contact the school and say that your dd is having quite a few headaches recently, and when she has them to please contact you.

Original poster

misscph1973 · 17/03/2019 12:16

What I don't like is that the first aider refused to listen to my DD and then refused to call me. No trust.

OP posts:

CandyPuff · 17/03/2019 12:22

mischief I have told my dds school that we will by pass their system, of DD informing teacher if she is I'll/getting permission to come home. We have had too many crap experiences like this and I have no faith that they act in her best interest. Whether that is due to time pressure/other kids throwing sickies/taking the piss, I don't care. DD phones me if she doesn't feel well and I make the decision as to whether she comes home. I just go and collect her. She carries paracetamol/ibuprofen/other drugs for self medication

PCohle · 17/03/2019 12:37

But you had no trust in the school. So they should trust you/your daughter but it's fine for you not to trust them in return? Respect is a two way thing.

Was your DD actually terribly unwell when you go her home?

CandyPuff · 17/03/2019 12:49

pchole for me, my trust in the school has been eroded over time, and many incidents whereby eg 1) they checked on the wrong child 2) disallowed my DD to come home based on previous attendance 3) refused to let her have access to a toilet etc. I assume OPs trust similarly has been eroded

Walkaround · 17/03/2019 13:11

misscph1973 - so, you say your dd is rebellious and hormonal. You have also failed to confirm whether you had already spoken to the school about your dd's headaches and requested to be contacted about these for you to assess their significance. Have you bothered to speak to your child's pastoral support for the year, yet? Do you even know how your dd comes across at school to members of support staff? Or did you just leap in, bypassing all normal procedures because your bolshie teen told you to?
Refusing to contact a parent after 40 minutes is not the same thing as refusing to contact a parent all day and holding someone prisoner. Have you asked what normal procedure is if a child is persistently complaining of a headache? (In one school where I worked, first aiders were not allowed to contact parents about something as apparently minor as a headache until they had spoken to pastoral support or head of year about the child, first, so as to get a clearer picture of them...). Do you fail to acknowledge that your dd may actually have behaved histionically herself, and refused to listen to anyone else explain why they would not phone home, yet?

Butterflycookie · 17/03/2019 13:32

You haven’t actually said what sort of symptoms she had. A headache and a migraine are completely different. Don’t see why she needed to be taken home just for a headache. And you should’ve talked to the school beforehand if she’s had an ongoing problem.

youarenotkiddingme · 17/03/2019 17:38

Simple email "what qualifications does a first aider have to determine a child's headache is serious or not to come home".

(Hint: I'm a first aider and it's none ).

School nurses are generally good judges if character ime. Ds tang once and knew she only needed to utter words "he's not good". I'd left work in under 2 minutes!

MissBax · 17/03/2019 17:44

I'd be pissed off to be honest. They should have contacted OP even if just to explain their standpoint. OP knows her daughter and presumably trusts her opinion. Shes got good attendance and has suffered with headaches recently. I suffered with migraines as a teen and the school shouldn't be controlling what information they pass on to parents about their own children

Samind · 17/03/2019 17:57

OP could they be hormonal headaches? As in round the time of her period (assuming she has started) or glasses maybe? If she has reoccurring headaches, I'd get her seen.

Walkaround · 17/03/2019 18:01

youarenotkiddingme - do you really think your school has a qualified nurse?! I'd be surprised - most schools these days have a medical officer, who is someone who generally has no medical qualifications whatsoever, but has done a 3-day first aid course and a couple of half day courses on managing medicines, doing healthcare plans, etc. School nurses are usually based in a medical centre elsewhere and serve all the schools in the area, tending only to come into school to do epipen and asthma inhaler training for all staff, weighing and measuring and possibly immunisations (although it's not specifically a school nurse who has to do that). They certainly don't expect to give advice to the medical officer on headaches.

Walkaround · 17/03/2019 18:03

You do not need to be a nurse to be a good judge of character, btw.

Walkaround · 17/03/2019 18:10

Pps the medical officer is often a member of admin staff who may well also be responsible for other admin (eg working in reception, or collating attendance figures, or doing the admin for detentions).

Walkaround · 17/03/2019 18:19

You could always ask for your dd to be referred to the school nurse, of course, who could come in specially. They generally focus on public health advice, ime, though.

Walkaround · 17/03/2019 18:31

(Or complex issues raised by the SENCO or social workers or safeguarding leads, etc, rather than children who still have a headache after 40 minutes)

Tunnockswafer · 17/03/2019 18:35

I would hate to be called for this as I’d feel duty bound to leave work and collect. Which would mean lots of other school children not having a teacher. If it continued throughout the day fair enough or made her sick - not just a headache on its own.

goldengummybear · 17/03/2019 19:23

Our school is very inconsistent with this. My oldest would tell them that he felt nauseous and they'd call immediately. My youngest has a medical condition but they make him stay in and soldier on. Unlike his brother he doesn't fake illness to get out of working.

I have another child at the school and she avoids drinking and eating at school as the toilets are gross. She complains of headaches etc as a result but prefers to suffer than use the loos.

95% is considered minimum acceptable attendance so I wouldn't push the 96% point with school when there's 4 months of school left until the end of the year.

goldengummybear · 17/03/2019 19:28

I'm surprised that people trust the school first aider so much. Loads of jokes about how crap first aid at school is

School refusing to call me when DD had a headache

Walkaround · 17/03/2019 20:00

goldengummybear - that would be because so many people assume, for some reason best known to them given the state of school funding, that schools have a nurse on site. As for broken arms, medical staff in A&E failed to diagnose my broken arm even after an x-ray (and I've known more children come into school with an arm they broke at home but parents didn't realise than children who broke their arms at school without the school doing anything about it). I think people who make jokes about it fail to realise the huge volume of kids who go to see the medical officer with one complaint or another every single school day of the year. There is no let up to the number of children who think they are ill enough to get out of class to tell the medical officer all about it.

Blueuggboots · 17/03/2019 20:18

It qualified me to provide immediate aid while waiting for someone more qualified to turn up. Basically keep air and blood circulating, keep liquids inside body if possible, try to stop injured person from doing more damage to themselves. That’s basically it.

It didn’t qualify me to decide if headaches were serious or not.

This ^^

A "first aider" absolutely does not have the qualifications to decide on the seriousness of a headache.

However, I also think you were BU and your daughter, unless seriously unwell with associated symptoms from the headache, should have stayed at school.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7