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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

School refusing to call me when DD had a headache

151 replies

misscph1973 · 15/03/2019 12:14

Yesterday my 14 year old DD was in the medical room at school for 40 min. She had a headache, and the first aider gave her paracetamol. After 40 she was no better, but the first aider would not phone me, as she wasn't ill enough. My DD ended up texting me, I phoned the school and said I was going to collect her. When I arrived I was told that my DD was not allowed to contact me and that it would be marked as unauthorised absence. They suggested I get a note from the doctor if I want to pick her up in future against the advice of the first aider.

Surely they should have called me and let me me decide if my DD is ill enough for me to come and get her?

OP posts:

malmontar · 15/03/2019 20:27

@maloofhoof This isn’t really helpful on this thread to be honest and you can’t really compare a diagnosed long term sickness to a headache. All schools have their weaknesses but until you work in a school you will not imagine how much pressure schools are under to keep attendance figures great, it can make or break an OFSTED.

clary · 15/03/2019 20:35

Sorry fat fingers, I can do maths, honest. I meant to type 7.8 days, so 8 days in effect. Almost two weeks.

maloofhoof · 15/03/2019 20:36

malmontar I'm not comparing them. My point was that it's ultimately down to the parent to decide if they're well enough for school. I'm not talking about kids trying to pull a fast one, I mean for genuine sickness.

maloofhoof · 15/03/2019 20:37

Pressure to keep attendance great to the detriment of an unwell child

ASauvignonADay · 15/03/2019 20:38

Lots of kids 'pull a fast one' on their parents. Ultimately it is the parents decision, but it's the school's decision whether to authorise it or not.

MadisonAvenue · 15/03/2019 20:42

Going back around 5 years to when my now 18 year old was in secondary school, I was called one day to inform me that he was complaining of a headache and wanted paracetamol. I said it was okay for them to give him some but what they actually meant was that I had to go in to give him the paracetamol myself. As it happened I was due to pass the school within the next 15 minutes so that was easily solved, and after that he always had a strip with him.

maloofhoof · 15/03/2019 20:45

Couldn't care less if the school authorised it, I authorised it.

ASauvignonADay · 15/03/2019 20:50

You might care if you received a fine!

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 15/03/2019 20:52

The aim of a first aid course is to teach people what to do until professional help arrives.

It IS NOT a qualification to assess people with headaches.

Fair enough, give paracetamol and see if it works, but refusing to phone the parent of a child on the back of a first aid certificate is dodgy territory.

And yes, I do recognise that teens will try it on and that schools are in a difficult position.

maloofhoof · 15/03/2019 20:55

A fine for collecting my ill child once 🤔

ASauvignonADay · 15/03/2019 20:56

"First aid is the assistance given to any person suffering a serious illness or injury, with care provided to preserve life, prevent the condition from worsening, or to promote recovery."

Looking after unwell students is not necessarily first aid. It's mostly common sense - and (cheesy but) it is working in partnership with parents. It isn't meant to be a battle

ASauvignonADay · 15/03/2019 20:57

@maloofhoof often those who do this are those who keep their children off for every little sniffle. From experience, at least.

Dramatical · 15/03/2019 21:02

The idea that she needed to go to the medical room is a bit bizarre tbh. Mine would have been able to take paracetamol without intervention at 14yo.

maloofhoof · 15/03/2019 21:03

But surely schools know which pupils have form with trying to get out of school. OP doesn't sound like a parent with a child who's not being genuine. Fines are for parents who allow their kids to have time off willy nilly, not for a parent who decides they know their child better than a school nurse and picks them up because they're unwell.

ASauvignonADay · 15/03/2019 21:05

@maloofhoof I agree. And we don't know the OP... it may be a total one off if in which case, it's a bit of a non event.

Secretdebt · 15/03/2019 21:09

I work in a school and sometimes cover the 'nurse' role. It would be impossible to call every parent as it is an unending stream of students coming in, most of them just wanting to avoid class. If we knew that a student was prone to migraines we would ring but if we didn't we wouldn't for a headache (unless accompanied by other symptoms). Also 96% attendance really isn't that great and we would be working hard to keep someone in school with that as there would be a real danger of them falling below the key 95%.

Starlight456 · 15/03/2019 21:11

My Ds ( year 7) had a headache last week . Asked if he wanted to go home he said no.

His attendance is 99. Something. One day off for a sickness bug( Friday)

I think the part that concerns me is she was given paracetamol and you were not informed.

My Ds has been to the medical room many times ( Hectells me ) only informed once as they were concerned about s rash , also the sent home a bumped head letter apparently but Ds lost it before I ever read it 🙄.

minipie · 15/03/2019 21:15

As an aside, I get hormonal headaches and have always found that I need ibuprofen to sort them - paracetamol does nothing at all.

Ginger1982 · 15/03/2019 21:19

Choli what a bitchy comment!

Ohyesiam · 15/03/2019 21:22

But the school nurse is not just a first aider, she’s a nurse. Many nurses are trained in symptom pattern recognition and response, and I imagine this one is as part of her role. You could check?
As pp s say a first aider just responds to emergencies .

ASauvignonADay · 15/03/2019 21:24

I think the part that concerns me is she was given paracetamol and you were not informed.
I think the OP said they were her DDs paracetamols?

We were told at training a few years ago that schools should not buy or supply paracetamol etc to students.

cauliflowersqueeze · 15/03/2019 21:30

96% is really not that great.

Many parents would be pissed off to be contacted about a headache.

SmallFastPenguin · 15/03/2019 21:38

The attendance thing is stupid imo, either you are too ill for school or not how can you set a target on it? Obviously the goal is 100% attendance and you should only be off sick if too ill to study. Setting a 95% attendance goal means you are saying people can somehow affect whether they get ill but you are allowing them to choose to be off for 8 days a year. Or you are saying that no matter how ill they may be they must come in and projectile vomit or whatever if they have been off for more than the target. Both equally stupid but only to be expected from heads who seem to value uniform more than life itself.

ScarletBitch · 15/03/2019 21:41

Well why could your DD not text you to begin with? She is 14, YABU.

ASauvignonADay · 15/03/2019 21:42

@SmallFastPenguin that assumes everyone has the same understanding of what is 'too ill' to go to school and everyone values education to the same extent. Both huge variables. Genuine medical conditions are different. But otherwise I'd be concerned if my child was having a lot of time unwell. If I had as much time off as some parents think it normal I'd get the sack!

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