Starting secondary support thread 2

Original poster

PenguinPandas · 09/01/2019 23:56

Sorry to hear more issues Dobbins

DS has been better past few days.

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Frogletmamma · 10/01/2019 00:06

Back to school today. Bit of a shock to the system
Asked dd to get things ready night before but we still had made half hour on morning finding shoes pencil case bobbles trainers etc

Original poster

PenguinPandas · 10/01/2019 02:43

That's late back Froglet, we've been back a week now.

DS took his PE kit to school but he only had trainers in it

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DobbinsVeil · 10/01/2019 12:07

ooh shiny new thread!
That's great DS has been more settled Penguins, have the school implemented any of the Ed Psych suggestions?

Hope DD had a good first day back Froglet

No more hassle from PE. DS2 is very tetchy and grumpy. Still not well but that's nothing new . Paed appt next week.

Original poster

PenguinPandas · 12/01/2019 01:52

Hope the ped appointment goes well Dobbins

Think its more by chance he's better, he tends to be better this term and up to near the end of summer term, not sure why but first term is too long and lots of change.

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TeenTimesTwo · 12/01/2019 10:04

Froglet I have written my DD a checklist of everything needed in rucksack / PE kit for the start of a term. That helps her not forget things when she sorts stuff out. You just have to not lose it from one term to the next!

Frogletmamma · 12/01/2019 21:39

teen will give this a go thanks. She really needs to be more careful of her own possessions

TeenTimesTwo · 12/01/2019 21:48

We also have a sort of rule that school pencil case stays in school rucksack, and she has separate stationery for home.

Witchend · 12/01/2019 23:18

Ds has been remarkedly organised, however he says he's lost his maths book. He only gets it out at the desk at home and it isn't there, so I suspect the teacher took it in last term, and he missed when they were handed back and the teacher has forgotten.

Original poster

PenguinPandas · 12/01/2019 23:31

DS loses everything still though school now help him with all the things.

DD is better but still came back 4 times the other morning saying oh just remembered ...

DD got reward points for Christmas reading - thought odd didn't notice DD reading and had offered to buy her books and she said no. Asked her what she had read, she said oh nothing I just wrote I had read they didn't ask what and I forged your signature - I was worried I might get moved down in English and thought reward points might help

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Original poster

PenguinPandas · 15/01/2019 06:36

Finally managed to get DS to doctors for autism referral, he refused last time to be assessed so this time I told him it was for money for the school for the TAs. That was fine, off he went

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DobbinsVeil · 15/01/2019 10:16

That's great DS has accepted being assessed, very clever way to get him to agree Penguins

DS2 did his English homework as soon as he got in yesterday. This is his least favourite subject. No prompting, no whining. Wonders will never cease!

Witchend · 15/01/2019 13:56

Well done Penguin. Bit of tact never goes amiss.

Ds in juniors was meant to read 3-5 times a week. We usually read a chapter together at night, and I used to fill out the reading record on Sunday night with what I thought we'd read between us. You know, sitting there with 3 different colour pens to add verisimilitude. In year 6 he got a prize for doing the most reading in the year. I said I thought I deserved the prize for the most creative reading diary.

DS2 did his English homework as soon as he got in yesterday. This is his least favourite subject. No prompting, no whining. Wonders will never cease!
If you can give me any suggestions to encourage that then please do. I think every English homework has been subject to complaints of "the worst homework ever", leaving it to the last minute and 2 hours of complaints before the book is even opened.

DobbinsVeil · 15/01/2019 17:08

witchend I did wonder if DS2 had been replaced by a high-end Android! But it was a rare thing he actually engaged in. they had to write a myth on human transforming to an animal, or possibly the other way around. He usually struggles hugely to get started on something, but he'd already planned the idea out in his head. I'm sure normal service will be resumed for the next homework!

He's very achy and grumpy tonight. Must write a list for the paediatrician on Thursday.

Witchend · 16/01/2019 17:49

I did wonder if DS2 had been replaced by a high-end Android!l

Good luck with the paediatrician.

PenguinPandas · 16/01/2019 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DobbinsVeil · 17/01/2019 15:23

at sharing the DLA with you But not dadPenguins. I let DS1's lapse when he was 6 and didn't bother again as it's a nightmare to claim.
Hope you can keep DD focused.

Back from paediatrician. DS2 diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Maybe the PE Dept will calm themselves. Probably not though

Original poster

PenguinPandas · 18/01/2019 02:40

Dobbins Would guess PE department will believe CFS is a made up condition, same as autism and its all behaviour which they can improve. Had a couple of teachers like that at primary, one listened to ed pscyh tbf but one insisted he knew better.

No problems at school this week and DD got an excelling in her test and DS wants for first time ever to go to an after school event. Surely this can't last!

Are they doing any treatment for CFS?

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Witchend · 18/01/2019 09:33

CFS did sound the most likely. Glad you have a diagnosis anyway. Can you request that he goes elsewhere (Library) at the start of PE and doesn't have to interact with the PE teachers? After all it would be a good lesson for him to relax and help his survive the rest of the day.

Ds has managed an interesting week. Monday am we spent in A&E with a swollen ankle (sprained) so off PE for 2 weeks.
Tuesday through to Wednesday he woke up with no voice. He thought this was a good reason not to go to school. I told him his teachers would be very happy to see him in that case and packed him off. This morning I had to wake him, which usually means he's ill and he skipped off in (reasonably) happily.

DD2 is being a very stroppy teenager. Boarding school looks attractive at present.

DobbinsVeil · 18/01/2019 09:56

Glad the DC have had a really good week Penguins long may it continue.

Yikes, that's really not such a great week Witchend. Hope DS isn't coming down with anything.

There's no treatment as such but the peadiatrician gave some advice. Most already doing but interestingly he said to avoid cold drinks as they make the throat stuff worse. Watch carb intake. Also to start doing something like Yoga in the morning, as stretching should help. Most of all he stressed to DS2 he should stay positive. This made me LOL as DS2 is a proper glass half empty person, so we had an interesting discussion on the drive home about mindset.

I think the problem with PE is it is a statutory requirement lesson, so he has to do it in some form. He mostly sits and keeps scores, but he's also asked to assess who the best player was etc. The paediatrician said he'd write in the letter for the school to accommodate adjustments but wouldn't specify what they were to be. I've said to DS2 he can't be signed off PE forever, but whether the school will accommodate him just doing warm-ups to begin with I'm not convinced about. Plus they have no lockers so he has to carry PE kit around, and he struggles with the normal weight of his bag.

Original poster

PenguinPandas · 18/01/2019 10:12

Sorry to hear about your week Witchend At the start of this year I was trying to think how we could raise money for boarding school too for DD but she's a lot better now so hopefully yours will calm down shortly too. She got a boxing bag for Christmas which seems to help plus moving to male friends - the female ones so much drama with, argh.

DD currently keeps saying how bad my clothes are but then goes round wearing them. She goes through about 10 outfits a day.

Dobbins Glad they gave some advice. I think you can get out of PE with a doctors note.

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Original poster

PenguinPandas · 18/01/2019 16:50

DD told me the fire alarm went again at school, goes about once a week, and said that DS went to his line and she was a very proud sister as he didn't panic and run off. Then she added but I would only be proud if I cared about him and I don't so wasn't really

Got snow here yesterday will see if get more at the weekend.

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Witchend · 18/01/2019 17:14

I dislike the "off PE but got to take the PE bag in anyway". I understand why they do it, but it's a right faff for a child who's already not feeling brilliant.

It was actually quite a good week He's been in 4.5 days with only the minimum of sulks. Mind you, he hasn't done any homework either so this might be about to go downhill when I ask about that.

DD2's always been enthusiastic and wanting to be involved. It's like having a changeling here at times. One of her biggest assets is her enthusiasm. So without that she's being left out, and the more she misses out the more stroppy teenager she gets. Agh!

I may have put the cat among the pigeon tonight though. All the dc to an activity that they get extra opportunities when they reach the secondary school one. This year they've given the opportunities to the primary school group. I'd heard from several people that the leader had said they "deserved it more".
Dh commented this morning that the leader had said that the older group had been offered it, and refused. I thought this was a bit surprising as both mine (and I've heard others) moaning that it wasn't fair. So I made the mistake of asking dd2 if there was any possibility of this having been offered. Roofs have been hit! She's retreated to her room, I suspect WhatsApp-ing her friends, so tomorrow could be interesting.
Am going to have to go back to dh and ask if there's any possibility he misunderstood, and he's not good at backtracking.

Actually I am angry about it too, although I haven't let dd know. It's something that's upset the older group (and some of the volunteer helpers) and it wasn't fair to do it. The older group has been solidly pushed aside all season. But then to claim that they didn't want to, is blaming them.

DobbinsVeil · 18/01/2019 17:59

Glad DS wasn't upset by the fire alarm penguins. at DD

I hope the activity stuff can be sorted out witchend. Sounds very unfair and saying they had the option when they didn't is just rubbing salt in the wound.

I got the PE dept to concede to DS2 not taking his PE stuff in. They were not happy about it, but I said I could always keep him off on PE days instead. But sitting outside in the cold and rain and lugging about equipment was not really helping matters, so he stays in regardless of what his group is doing.

Having problems with DS1 atm. He typed "how to die" on the school computer today. Head teacher was behind him! He initially laughed it off at school, but he's been in tears tonight over life and the cat (had to be pts).

Original poster

PenguinPandas · 18/01/2019 23:19

So sorry to hear about your cat Dobbins and sorry your DS1 is so sad tonight. Hope he starts to feel better soon.

Good he doesn't have to sit outside for PE.

Witchend Sorry to hear about the activity. My DH always gets what happened wrong, he's half deaf but won't get help and makes things up when he can't hear. Though normally also fails to notice anything too.

DS said he may even go in costume to Harry Potter after school event but then said but I might be the only one need to ask friends, actually no I will go in inbetween school uniform and costume.

DD is at age where listens to friends more than adults, some of her friends talk such nonsense. There's a GCSE options booklet online but she was telling me her friend knew more than the booklet and GCSE RE is compulsory for everyone and everyone must also take another Humanities GCSE too. Booklet says you can do none with permission. At least her male friend is sensible and she tells me they've both decided they are going to Durham Uni as male friend's Mum has said Cambridge would be too boring for him.

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