Starting secondary support thread 2

[PenguinPandas]

Support thread continued.

From what DD said the teacher at our school went in pulled back the duvet and gets child out of bed then takes them to school. Not sure had much effect as ended up pregnant at 16. It's good they care so much but they are quite ott at times.

DS now home and seems happy, says he feels poorly and a bit tired so might be why he was unsettled at school. Head was lovely asking what more they could do to help him and said she'ld seen him in class the other day and he's amazing. The school will do referral.

Got message from Head saying will get senco to do referral and at same time got message from senco saying get doctors to do it. So I phoned ASD assessment place - they said they reject a lot of doctor referrals so best if school do it. They said there are masses of forms and they won't see us initially until we have a Family support worker, Ed Psych, EHA and parenting classes. Great so they assume all kids with suspected ASD have terrible parents or maybe you can parent the ASD out plus we don't have time for this. Hopefully she was just very unhelpful and its not that bad but sounded like we are taking years not months for help from them and they are trying to make it as difficult as possible to get diagnosis.

That sounds like overkill on what they expect before ASD assessment. penguins. You've had the Ed Psych involved, plus school observations, surely that should be sufficient. Is going private an option? You shouldn't have to and the assessments are ££££ but a private dx should be accepted by the LA etc.

Thanks Dobbins Private one would be worth considering though we are a bit tight with money atm as got 2 houses until sell old one and and have to renovate and clear old house first which is proving difficult from here with numerous DC dramas. Once we've sold we will be fine again but no idea how long that will be. But that could be the best solution.

I'd definitely see how the NHS referral progress first anyway Penguins. Probably worth a dig around to see if they're even allowed to stipulate you must have completed all that stuff before they'll even put you on the diagnosis pathway. Possibly PALS may be able to help there. My feeling is probably not

I'm wondering if its not disability discrimination as its delaying children getting diagnosis, trying to change them through parenting courses implying autism is a fault etc. May try complaint as think its disadvantaging ASD kids.

Hi everyone. Just spotted new thread. Will catch up.

Insisting on parenting classes is ridiculous. There may be the odd strategy you haven’t tried but it’s not going to change any underlying conditions and some parenting strategies make things worse.
DS has been sleeping badly on and off since being back in Jan and last week got himself in such a state from lack of sleep that they sent him home. He had been worrying about something we were doing at the weekend and the need to get homework out of the way during the week in order to do it. So he ended up ill and we didn’t do the weekend thing after all.

Sorry to hear that Cheminotte Hopefully will be better after a rest.

Teacher training day here so extra day off which is great as DS needs a break and DD is still sleeping most of the day though makes a change from struggling to get her to sleep at all.

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Just a quiet one here, DS fed the lemurs at our village zoo but otherwise just resting.

Sorry the weekend thing had to be cancelled cheminotte. Sleep and anxiety problems are just so hard to deal with, it's something DS1 really struggles with.

Hooray for the inset day penguins. Hope you all enjoy a restful day.

I'm having major hassles with DS3's primary school. I've been in to the Exec Head but I am still seething at a phonecall I had on Friday from the Yr 5 teacher (DS3 is Yr1 has ASD loads of ongoing sagas). Basically telling me off. You know when you just can't let something go? It's that!

DS2 went off to school but his eyes were sore again. He'd had medicine but I am half-expecting either a call to collect him, or text from him complaining.

Sorry to hear your are having problems with primary school Dobbins, saw other thread too - think they need to move him somewhere quiet not another classroom - mine used to get the library, sensory room was tried but that used to lead him to do things to get with the soft things. You must be superwoman to deal with this x4.

DD returned to school yesterday, still unwell, but managed school and youth club and to be rude to me but DS had another bad day. I have started feeling really ill and school are insisting on a meeting and saying only the mother can attend as psychologist said having mother at meeting is "imperative". Wonder if its ever imperative to have the Dad there or does being male make them completely unknowledgeable. They are still trying to get it at our house. Atm I've got fever, migraine, feel sick and am ignoring it - they've been offered a meeting with DH, I am not meeting them really ill. DS is also getting very upset at the idea he has to be at meeting so its causing stress all round.

That does sound ridiculous Penguin .
Well DS got star of the week for PE and a letter from the HT! For a PE avoider in primary this is amazing!

Well done to your DS Cheminotte DS used to struggle with PE in primary too though signed us up to David Lloyd for few years and got to love PE after that.

DD results seem to be going down a bit again - so volatile as no averaging so really hard to know what is going on - have to quiz kids and no idea if they are talking rubbish. DD says her test included things she hadn't been taught at all - maybe as they put her in middle set last term as no space in top set but odd topic not covered at all. And French said they hadn't taught to excelling so didn't test to it according to DD. DSs results are pretty bad but that's as he misses lots of tests or parts of tests for which they put him at lowest grade rather than no show.

That's brilliant Cheminotte what a huge achievement for your DS, what a star.

Sorry school are still being weird about the meeting Penguins. Do the school give you updates on the tests or is it DD?

DS2 had his first detention this week, for not handing in his French Homework. Though it only lasted 5 minutes and isn't recorded anywhere. Also kept back in another lesson for 10 minutes for something I couldn't quite fathom apart from DS2 being insistent he wasn't one of the talkers. Another first was missing the bus on Tuesday morning. DH took him in and he got to his tutor room just in time. Not exactly covered himself in glory this week!

Anyone else's dc hoping for a snow day tomorrow. I'm playing it down to ds because he'll not be in a state for school if he gets it fixed in his mind it will be a snow day and it isn't. He loves snow.
Dd1 otoh is nearly in tears at the thought that she might not be able to get in. She's planning on walking I think if no bus is running.

It's also ds' parents' evening tonight. He says he doesn't want to go, the teachers don't want to go and the parents definitely don't want to go so what's the point? I do see his point. It is a bit of a waste of time as they tend to focus on "now student, how do you think you're doing?"

I also think he's a bit worried what they might say. I have a strong suspicion we might end up leaving him in the car as he'll refuse to come in.

We have snow here already though school has been open - its only a couple of inches. DS was very impressed saying this place is so much better than London, they get proper snow here

Just DD has been telling me about tests - we have goforschools and grading changes several times per term and they don't seem to average at all. Clearly being inputted by teachers, the grumpy computing teacher has put DD failed all year 7 and we didn't return anything year 7, she didn't start until year 8 but 50% of her mark is that She's just told me most people's grades are going down, always good to know. The grammar school reports were so much clearer - you had exact mark and school average and average grade there was an 8 so very clear what you were aiming at. They both have had more tests today though at least DS did his English one, first English test he's actually done, said he didn't write that much but its a start.

I hope the parents evening goes o.k. witchend. Your DS does make a good point! DS2's Parents Evening is until June.

Ah DS2's school used to have some kind of online report thing but they are apparently changing over to another one and it's been delayed. That's great DS managed to do the test today, DS1 struggles hugely with English tests. It was his better subject in primary, secondary is a different kettle of fish.

No chance of a snow day here, had a bit of ice in the mornings and a tiny bit of snow a few days ago! DS2 has a non-uniform day tomorrow, DS3 is ill so I don't have the afternoon school run frenzy which is always a relief.

Parents' evening was very funny.
In the car on the way there he was very put out to find that he has to do science up to GCSE. Even more put out to find that he can't even drop it down to one. He apparently hates science.
First teacher was science. "Now Miniwitch, I can tell you really love science..."
Second teacher was English. The one which always sets the "worst homework ever" especially if it's creative writing. "Miniwitch, your English is good, especially creative writing. "

Amazingly as well, usually it's complete chaos-we were through 15 minutes before we were due to start the last appointment. The parents I know for whom this was the first secondary parents' evening were saying what dreadful chaos it was, and we said it wasn't, it was the most organised one we'd been to.

But ds has gone to bed in tears that he doesn't think they'll be a snow day. Dd1 is in tears because she thinks there will be.
It's funny snow. It's coming down like billy-o but not sticking to the ground, and it isn't that the ground is wet or it's too warm. Never seen it do this.

No sign of snow here.
When we had parents evening last year I found every teacher found something nice to say even if it wasn’t schoolwork related.

Ds came in several times during the night upset because he thought there wouldn't be enough snow for a snow day.
Hence he's still asleep now. He almost never wakes after 7.30.

He's going to be delighted to find it is a snow day. Around 3" with 2" more expected. Time to get the sledge out and go off to the golf course!

That sounds fun Witchend Just looked and we have heavy snow predicted today and DDs party is in London though think will still be OK, its one of her old friends.

He woke at 8:45. Heard him crying as he put his school stuff on and went to tell him it was a snow day. His attitude changed immediately and he rushed downstairs to make tea and porridge and is now hassling me to get the sledge out. He has however chosen to put on shorts and t-shirt.
Thankfully he'll wear a ski suit over the top.

Well done to your DS witchend even if he is not quite so thrilled with the subjects!

No snow here, rain rain rain. got a call at 2.54 to collected DS2. school finishes at 3.20. he'd been in the medical bit since 2pm and they'd kept trying to persuade him to go back.
I then got stuck in the car park as I didn't realise parents sat and waited in there, and I couldn't get around the cars that were just stationary everywhere. was rather stressed as I have to get back for DS1's taxi, fortunately made it. was also fortunate DS3 was not in school today as he was unwell.

Very glad it's Friday, hope everyone has a good weekend!

Hope you all had a fun day in the snow Witchend - pretty much gone here now. That sounds complicated Dobbins never know why schools call you so close to home time.

DH just back from taking DD down to her party in London so no DD until tomorrow night - cat is very cross with them both, she didn't give her permission for this and has been trying to howl them back. DS just got me to order desserts from Dominos and asked me to order an ice cream, any one you like Mummy but when I read them out he said I don't like that one to all but two of them

The senco has done forms for ed psych and for autism assessment and said the English teacher was very pleased with DS's English assessment. He told me another teacher stopped him when he was with friends to tell him he has the most beautiful handwriting ever, he said that teacher was weird. Have a great weekend everyone.