Starting secondary support thread 2

[PenguinPandas]

Support thread continued.

Well this week has started well. DD is off school saying she feels like death and was lying on floor whimpering. Cat has been howling really loudly as she thinks DD should be her slave for the day. And now school have just called sending DS home as he's been sitting outside for 2 hours with no coat refusing to move.

I had a DD doing that this morning too.
Ds was unimpressed until he remembered that he had food tech which he loves.

Sorry to hear your DD is ill too Witchend Tis the season to be ill atm. DD is still quite ill and has been sick this evening with the cough and says exactly like last month, says she can't look at light either and has violent headaches, pain down one side and fever. No rash. Friends have flu but wondering if its migraines. DH said it couldn't be due to fever but looked it up and said you can get fever and not uncommon to start around this age. Refusing to see doctor but at least had some checks done a month ago so know heart fine. She'll stay home tomorrow.

Hope your dd is better quickly.

My dd is fine. I suspect that having an important history test today may have increased the illness. She did report tummy ache which is one of the ways her anxiety shows.

Thanks very much. Sorry your DD has anxiety.

DD ill in night and this morning just saying she feels dead and not to communicate with her DS has gone off happily, don't know what happened yesterday, won't communicate for few hours then came upstairs and was singing, dancing and on water rower but not talking about school problems.

Sorry DD is still unwell Penguins. Hope DS has a better day at school today.

DS2 has gone off to school with streaming eyes and the grumps. Had major drama over swallowing a teeny-tiny piriton tablet this morning. I got a tad irritated!

I had a swap. Ds is off having had a migraine this morning. Dd2 has gone to school, and is bombarding me with texts telling me how ill she is and how mean the medical room is not to send her home.
I have two minds about this. She probably is well enough to be in school, and she has been in the past too inclined to be sent home when she's not bad. Otoh it's clearly increasing her anxiety about being ill at school, so she'll be a nightmare to get in next time she's a bit under the weather.

Hope your ones are better too. Ds is meant to take anti-allergy (not piriton, these are non drowsy plus have the bonus he doesn't get hyperactive of them!) tablets daily. He's not keen on taking them so they tend to be when he's feeling bad.

It is a tricky balance to find re coming home or staying witchend. Still very much playing it by ear with DS2.

I was too grumpy with DS2, he's got a permanent sore throat so he may have been genuinely struggling. it was just the accompanying theatrics. He only has them when his eyes are streaming. I had thought with the cat gone this would have stopped but there's obviously something else triggering it.

Sorry to hear your DS is unwell Dobbins and you have 2 ill children Witchend

DD is starting to return to land of the living though not sure if she will need tomorrow off too. She slept until midday or so saying she felt dead then came to chat with me for couple of hours before returning to bed. Managed to get out of her some information, like she has flashing lights before her eyes and that it started day after period and last time was a month ago.

DS came home very happy, he won one Maow sweet in English for being quiet, he's easily bribed! They have marked when sending him home as unauthorised again, argh though they don't chase but he's just over 90% so hope he doesn't get any illnesses.

Hope your kids are getting better. DD ill again but better than yesterday but slept loads.

DS seems to have a good day, got second lot of reward points this week for excellent drama 😂, told me had to play a bully. DD said how do you do that as such a tiny person but he said the boy that had to bully was even smaller.

Hope DD is fully better soon. Well done to DS on his excellent drama.

DS2 was tripped over on purpose today. Didn't see who it was, but thinks it was Yr10/Yr11. FFS. I've got the paediatrican letter through, I will send a copy on to the school which they will no doubt ignore.

Sorry to hear about DS2 being tripped over on purpose, shame he doesn't know which delightful child that was.

DD is still very unwell and dizzy now with a hacking cough and temperature so will be off again today. Got her report through yesterday which seems to be improving. Turns out RE GCSE is now compulsory and they take it a year early, not too happy about that but doesn't look optional. Still RE is one of DS's best subjects - he got obsessed with it at primary and decided he was having a Muslim wife and was becoming half Muslim-half Christian.

Hi hope you don't mind me joining but feeling like I could do with some advice. DS (y7) is struggling at the moment and is feeling really isolated. He is shy which doesn't help and started school in Sept without knowing anyone. He did make 1 friend who left the school quite early in the year. He is spending lunch times wondering around on his own which is breaking my heart. He seems so sad and lonely. We spoke to school before Xmas and they could only really advise for him to join club's which he is doing but it's not materialising into friendships. Does it get better?

Welcome Fork Sorry to hear your DS is alone so much.

My DD went to a school she knew no-one last year and struggled to start with to make friends, she joined lots of clubs and lots of friends by end of year so clubs do help. She's quite outgoing though which helps. This year we moved areas, DD hated last school and wanted to be closer to DHs work, so both kids knew no-one. DD made friends instantly and meets them after school a lot, DS has only just got his first one. I think friends will come but its hard until they do - is there anyone he would like to meetup with after school and maybe go to cinema or whatever they feel like, that might help.

SENCO has just messaged to say DS was better at start of term and now missing quite a few lessons, asked if we could all meet up maybe at our house and go through his successes and failures with him. He's going to love that suggestion. DD still really ill but refusing to see a doctor, may call 111 to check soon as such a violent headache, vomiting, fever, can't tolerate light, pain down one side, very dizzy, very drowsy, refused to eat for last few days apart from 1/2 a jacket twice though half school seem to be off so hopefully just a virus but no signs of improvement and its day 5.

Ours do RE (or PRC as they call it-it always comes out as the shortened version of "Philosophy religion and cult" in reports as that's the maximum length. Makes me ) in year 10 too. Dd2 is not impressed, although I think she finds it quite early.

Fork it is hard for shy children to make friends, but also (observations from my dc) they tend to perceive everyone else is in non-approachable friendships so they don't, I was going to say make effort, but it's more feel that they can't push in. Children who are confident push in and then get accepted even if they're resented at first.

For my oldest, she'll always wait until the other child makes the first lead. She's so scared of being knocked back. Clubs don't really help except by meeting a different group and hoping that one of them will take her under their wing.
What did help for her, was texting and WhatsApp. Yes, you need to keep an eye on it. But she joined a few groups for homework and things like that. She wouldn't jump into a conversation in rl, but could reply on the group if she had something to say. Then the group started recognising that she had something useful to say and acknowledging it. Then she got the confidence to speak up in rl.

Dd2 finds bonding over doing something easier. So clubs work for her.

None of mine (nor me either) find making friends easy. I try and encourage mine to look for the other people who are struggling with friendships, but they're not very good at it.

Penguin hope your dd is better. That sounds a really nasty bug. Have you checked she has flexibility of her neck (kiss her knee) as I would want that checking?
I can just imagine what ds would say if school wanted to come here. I think "no" would be his politest reaction.

Dd2 is better but her anxiety is playing up a bit. Ds was off today because he says he was sick during the night. I suspect sick might be a little bit of an exaggeration, but he has major issues with being sick at school.
Hopefully he'll go back tomorrow.

Thanks Witchend Called 111 and they were borderline on emergency doctors within hour or go to hospital so spoke to doctors at our surgery almost instantly and appointment at 5.20pm. They think migraine is most likely as same as in December but want to rule out meningitis as she has lots of symptoms - no rash and chin can touch chest. Probably off tomorrow as very bad still today and Monday is a teacher training day so should give good rest.

Sorry to hear yours are ill / anxious. Horrified reaction at school coming round from both kids - DD said that should be illegal and DS agreed. Told DS school had said he's missing a lot more lessons and want him to go to meeting to discuss his successes and failures. He said what failures, ridiculous and DD added who wants to discuss their failures. Did point out to school only successes and suggested improvements. He said nothing was wrong he just put a super effort in first two weeks and its unrealistic to expect that all the time.

That's hard Fork2fork. DS2 is quite shy socially, I think he maintains most of his friendships via playing Fortnite. Probably not great parenting, but hey it works for him.

Penguins, I've never heard of a school teacher inviting themselves round! Were they planning this during the school day, or in the evening? Sorry DD still so unwell, is she feeling poorly enough to agree to see the GP?

Had a message to say DS2 will get a detention for not handing French homework in. He's adamant he did but it's probably floating around in his bag. or blazer .

DD added who wants to discuss their failures I guess she would!!

Gp thinks migraines and ruled out meningitis but just gave painkillers despite saying its linked to periods and she will have thid every period. They said they will consider hormone meds later after she's been ill more.

No idea when they were coming round. This school seem to invite themselves round to houses all the time, first day DS refused school said they could come round and get him, good luck with that. DDs friend said they used to come and get her sister out of bed each morning. 😱 Not sure if its a rural thing but very surprised they do this especially taking children out of beds. Her friends family are very poor and probably don't realise school shouldn't have been doing this, was well intentioned but they are very ott at times.

Think you are absolutely spot on Witches. I was super shy at school and can see him quite often step aside for other friendships to blossom rather than push himself on someone. I can visible see him take a step back. What doesn't help is he can quite often look grumpy and unapproachable (his cover for being shy) so trying to get him to work on his fixes smiley face.

Will encourage the social groups via the phone or gaming.

Really appreciate everyone advice

DD home again, hope not going to be this bad every month. DS gone off happily enough. DH told me doctors phoned and cancelled ASD referral saying needs to be via school, argh.

Poor DD, hope she's feeling better soon. Very frustrating about the ASD referral - it's a bit odd really as what if you were Home Ed etc? It's a medical diagnosis so it's a bit off to say referral has to come via education.

They did that going round houses to get kids out of bed on Educating Manchester. They then drove them to school

Senco e-mailed through who does assessment in our area and I phoned them and apparently GP or school can refer and woman thought both pretty useless . Though school makes more sense to refer in a lot of ways as its them with the issue but yes we wondered about home ed kids too. Plus some people have issues at home not at school.

Interesting other schools take out of bed too, surprised they are doing that as would have thought could leave them open to abuse allegations. Head has just called and we have to collect DS.

On Educating Manchester the mother was there too and i think it was a case of calling to the child from the door. They then drove a couple of kids to school