Starting secondary support thread 2

[PenguinPandas]

Support thread continued.

DDs been to her skydiving party, went back to our old house and discovered letters there from TV licensing saying we are running a business from there which has people watching TV and they are watching us. Nothing that interesting

DS at home today, started growling at 7.45 and carried on to 8.45, not sure if he's coming down with flu, we've all got it or whether its a homework crisis or both but kept him off as he won't go voluntarily and he'ld be complete nightmare there. DD doing homework at 7.30am but least she's done it but did tell me she missed a detention as she forgot it.

oh dear Penguins I Hope DS is less growly now.

DS2 spent an eternity doing homework yesterday, despite claiming not to have much.

Thanks Dobbins He growled for 5 minutes after DH left and school had started then remained silent until school finish time. I just logged on goforschools and saw he was given a detention for today for not doing geography homework. I thought he was supposed to be exempt from those though at some point needs to do homework so not that bothered either way but would have appreciated a warning. So guessing that's why we've had this today. Though he may well be ill too as we've all got flu and he was complaining house was too hot at 15C yesterday and he turned it down to 10C. We normally have it at 20C but have been feeling hot with this.

On plus side DD has come home and school have chosen 9 year 8s to enter in the Intermediate Maths Challenge which is for year 9 to 11s she said and she's been chosen. Had a reply back from complaint about ASD process that they want my permission to send to commissioners so given that.

Well both gone to school, had battle with DS last night told him he needed to go to school today unless ill said yes then asked him about geography homework and a battle ensued with DS locking himself in bathroom. Have warned school though went off cheerful today but has detention.

Just read the EHA form and the SENCO has made a huge deal out of the fact husband physically removes him from school even though school give us no choice in matter. I wonder if combined with requests to see me alone and meetings at home they are trying to make out he's abusive. Could be wrong but looks suspicious. I've told them we aren't signing it.

Oh blimey Penguins That reads to me that school are trying to distance themselves from the fact they call you to collect him, which is an illegal exclusion. For which they would get in deep shit from the LA etc.

Definitely not admitting to illegal exclusions though Head did by e-mail before but its very odd they've added DH comes in (just randomly btw they have phrased it not them insisting we take him home) and it says he physically removes him and witnesses have been distressed.

It also says they have never had a whole family meeting - they've never requested one. DH goes to meetings as I have a long term illness but I e-mail them several times a day, speak on phone and am also here when they sent DS home once a week or so and after school. I bet if a man where ill and woman going to meetings they wouldn't do anything, grrr. Not sure they can do anything against me though as surely a single parent would just attend meetings alone but not 100% sure. Trouble is the whole picture of witnesses distressed and me at home and not stated why gives impression of abuse when infact he's being amazing.

They are covering their arses by painting an edited picture. Awful, you are absolutely right to challenge. Do they ring your mobile? I'd include screen-shots of any incoming calls.

Home phone but have kept all e-mails so have daily e-mail records - not sure if you can get records of incoming phone calls though we should be able to get outgoing ones at least.

From now on, every time they ring, follow it up with an email, specifying who and what time they called and confirming to them DH will collect DS as per the school's request to do so. And how they described DS at the time

I was wondering about saying we won't collect unless its an official exclusion or they put their request in writing but maybe being a bit evil there . SENDIASS advised us not to collect at all but its difficult as likely to lead to official exclusions and worsening of relations plus he is very distressed. Thanks for your help.

It's a really hard one. I'm temporarily taking DS3 out on a Tues PM. A reduced time-table is a consideration, there are strict guidelines, you all have to agree and the aim is to be back full-time. But it's a neutral middle ground between formal exclusions and leaving him there distressed. DS3's school won't call me, so I go to collect him and he's been disruptive all afternoon, sent to other classes pinging around desks! Though it can be tricky when it's not just particular subjects/time of day etc.

I'd go in doe-eyed innocent on it. Saying you've just found out the school are supposed to give you a formal exclusion letter each time they ring to collect, but you've not had one. So confused, please clarify

Just had DH home - apparently he went to school to bring forms home this morning and the lady appeared to be reading instructions saying he was only allowed to sign forms and not to bring them home. So he refused to sign saying he took instructions only from me.

I told him about form and DH's really upset. Senco is trying to make out its all an innocent mistake but I'm not buying that. I don't think senco thinks like this, think issue is coming from higher up. Senco said we had been very supportive. I said to DH he needs to be very careful if they are complaining about him touching DS though they have a nerve - they call us illegally to come and get him, he won't move and staff have asked DH sometimes to move him. I do wonder if DH needs to protect himself and not move DS but that would mean refusing to collect which is likely to lead to official exclusions and last thing we want is to be excluded from mainstream schools. I don't think they can do much against me - I'm just ill and senco has e-mailed back to say I am very supportive and have all e-mails. He will let me reword EHA but don't know how we move forward from here.

Got DS' latest school report - had very low expectations but not low enough it seems. Though grades aren't that bad just four other columns of most things being needs improvement on inadequate. However, his organisation skills in drama are outstanding So a future of organising drama awaits!

DD is doing the Intermediate UK Maths challenge tomorrow. Still got to find motivation to change EHA form, have quizzed boys, DH doesn't care much and DS is refusing to talk to school.

I hope you manage to get the EHA form sorted penguins. hooray for the positive drama report, hopefully as they get his support sorted out the rest will follow suit.

DS2 sent home on yesterday, has since developed diarrhea so he'll be off to Monday now. I thought I'd sent a message on the absence message service thing but it hadn't gone through! I usually ring but DS3 was having a huge meltdown this morning and DS4 also in a strop. I got a succession of messages so let them know what had happened.

First reports are due out tomorrow apparently but the new online system is still not set up for parents so I'll have to wait until DS2 goes back.

Hope your DS is starting to feel better now Dobbins and there's been a break in grumpiness, nothing like having more than one child kick off at the same time.

Just redid ENA forms and DH just taking them over. According to DD both school and DH physically move him so changed that to people physically move him and added detail of at home and primary. DD did year 11 maths challenge yesterday, she's in y8 but said she did 20/25 questions and thinks most were right. It's a shame they didn't give us more notice or I could have taught her how to do harder questions once I had relearnt myself 😂 DS had his maths results back, he came top in his class which is top set but think there are two top sets and got excelling. He was then asking me what GCSEs he could take which was encouraging though seemed horrified by triple science though science he is rated as surpassing for achievement but inadequate in classwork, behaviour, homework and organisation so don't think he's teacher's favourite! He says the ratings are a mystery as he's fine. He was up in night with cold but insisted he was going to school and says he might get English result today. DD is getting headaches again for a week but milder, will get eyes checked.

Dd2 did the maths challenge yesterday too. She's done quite well on them in the past, but hasn't said much about this one.

He was then asking me what GCSEs he could take which was encouraging though seemed horrified by triple science
That was almost exactly the conversation I had with ds last week. He was horrified to think he could (an almost certainly will) be forced to do triple science. He wasn't even very impressed with the idea of double.

DS seemed OK with double science but no biology - yuck! Trouble is that isn't an option these days rather annoyingly as he's good at science but only likes chemistry and physics. Here if they do triple they have to do less PE and told him that and he decided he would rather do PE than extra science.

DD has done well at the Maths in the past but has been exceptionally lazy since moving to comprehensive in September not even completing all the homework. In year 6 her team won the regional maths competition and in year 7 she got the highest result in her grammar school in the maths challenge though not enough for the Olympiad just kangaroo. This year she said 20 questions were super easy and 5 were impossible but she's very black and white. DS is exactly the same its either only a complete idiot couldn't do that (anything he can do) or impossible(anything he can't). DD has said the other kids have been teasing her about being not clever - she's very clever but tries to hide it and is currently very lazy. It seems to have bothered her she said could I buy her Mathletics but she will probably only use it for one day before deciding she doesn't care about being called stupid. I said I don't really want to pay for a year for one day's use but fine if she will use it so we are now on a day's free trial though the studying lasted 10 minutes before "the wifi made it impossible" (phone messages work fine though )

DS is haircut refusing still, argh - he needed it cut start of year though so cold and windy here its not helping.

Ds says he will have his hair cut in the summer. It's his heat now. 😂
He'll have a different excuse then.

DH keeps making the mistake of asking DS if he wants a haircut to which the answer is always no I am warm and snuggly under my blanket.

I would imagine in summer long hair is needed to prevent sunburn. DS normally gives in when both his eyes are completely covered, we are nearly there.

Full week here - we had dd's first parents evening. Think she was quite nervous as she was quite fidgety but it went very well - she got excellent comments all round (although her enthusiasm can bubble over sometimes into being a bit noisy) but I'll take that.

She also played her first school sports match and made it into the 'A' netball team which was an achievement as she is the only one not playing out of school for a netball club. She played GA and scored 8 of their 13 goals (including all 6 scored in the final quarter) so she was pretty chuffed with herself. Think she would love to join a netball team and we have been approached by 2 who have watched her training at school this school year alone but she is a national champion at basketball and trains 3 days a week for that plus games at the weekend - they may only be so many free hours available in the week unfortunately but I said I would look into it for her.

Well done to your DD Hersetta, she sounds very talented.

Well done to your DD Hersetta

Do other schools suggest buying revision guides for end of year assessments? DS2's are. We can afford it, but it just seems a bit OTT. And will probably just gather dust!

DS2 back to school tomorrow. I expect his attendance will be in the danger zone again. I'm more than happy to meet with the attendance people again, not sure the feeling is mutual though