Why do people openly criticise decisions to send your kids to a private school?

[scotmum1977]

I sent my Son to a private school (Glasgow) last year for various reasons and it's working out really well. There is the cost but we just do without expensive holidays etc. I can't think of a better gift for my children than a good education. I was so surprised at how offended people get when they ask which school he attends. They think it's ok to criticise you openly and make bitchy comments here and there. Surely how you spend your own money is your own business. Anyone else have this experience?

SmilingWithTheRisingSun how does that work? You close private schools then the kids go to the state schools, class sizes increase again, more pressure on the state system - which is already struggling. How does that actually improve state schools?

I was referring to the kind of activies my kids did at private school an hour up the road. I can’t imagine Glasgow Academy or whatever the other private school is called are much different- there aren’t exactly many private schools in the weeg 😜

Mookatron "for the club". That's the kind of bitchy comments I'm referring to in the original post! Nice!

Abolishing private schools would not make state schools better. If you took the top 7% of wealthiest people out of Chelsea/Cheshire/wherever and stuck them into the lowest SE areas into social housing estates would that make a difference to the crime rates in that area and make it better for everyone? No, because 7% would make a negligible difference. 50%, yeah maybe.

Private school children make up 7% of all children. putting them into a state system would not raise standards except in middle class areas which already typically have outstanding state schools

My children go private because the only way to get a good education here is if you go to church. As we don't our choice was shockingly bad. I appealed the decision and lost. People have no issues criticising me for sending them private, but they are the first to criticise the school we were offered and have all said they wouldn't send there children there. We have 4 closer schools than that one, all of which I'd have been happy with.

Flossietoot there are lots of private schools in Glasgow. Not sure what kind of misconception you have about the city.

scotmum I was taking about the hypothetical situation in which state schools were funded properly and there was no reason to send kids to private school other than for the other people who go there. Not about you, unless you are a person who would do so, in which case suck up the bitchy comment along with the social exclusivity, frankly.

But it is a club!! Are you honestly so naive to belive that all the parents that send their kids there are there because of the small class sizes?? The thing about stereotypes is that there is some truth in them- even if you don’t like it and doesn’t apply to you per se!

"Private isn't always better. Where we live now, state schools are some of the best in the country. No idea why anyone would spend the money to go private (avoiding riff raff?)."
Having spent over 11 years with DC's in the independent sector including a big name boys full boarding school people pay for a whole variety of reasons. Many I met state ed wasn't even in their radar, anymore than holiday in Butlins was . Other believe rightly or wrongly they're paying for results, for others its facilities and opportunities be it sporting musical etc , smaller classes, some think better teacher. I'm sure some pay to get away from the riff raff. For other its about choice, money widens your choice you can hopefully find somewhere whose ethos chimes with yours, and means that you not some faceless pen pusher chooses your school. Some like out dated and ridiculous uniform, endless meaningless rituals. Some perceive often incorrectly IME that independent schools are stricter. Others believe that there child will influenced and surrounded by lots of hard working industrious children and that this encourage theirs to be the same. The lack of government interference is a big one. Some IMO erroneously for the vast majority of independent schools take about the "old school tie or connections". that will be made We personally wanted a very liberal broad intellectual education where public exams were not the priority above anything else and believe in boarding

I used to work in Glasgow and can only think of two or three. It isn’t anything like Edinburgh.

Op's posts in this thread almost complete the full "why it's perfectly ok for me to send my kids to private school" bingo.

What you're missing, op, is the emotional "I came from nothing, 9 of us shared one wooden clog between us, I've slaved to earn enough to send my children to the best school I can", and then I think you'll have the full set :)

It is an implied criticism of those who use the state system, whether can't or choose not to.

Flossietoot there are 9

OP I think this thread should end now because you're completely right. People are critical of the nepotism and privilege that comes with private schools because they're jealous that they don't care about their children's education as much as you care about your child's. Also, it is this insane prejudice against private education and those who have it, seen at all levels of society which hampers private school pupils throughout their future lives, which, together with the rest of the politics of envy, that is responsible for all societal divisions. The rich are not to blame for such divisions at all. The whole thing is caused by the underclass spunking their money on skiing holidays and getting all chippy about people who prioritise differently.

I think it's completely unreasonable to openly criticise a parent for making this - or indeed any - choice that is genuinely in the best interest of their child/ren.

In my circle, our eldest DC will be heading off to secondary school in a couple of years, and many of us are actively considering private school. It's fortunate that we're in a position to even consider it, and I can't imagine anyone I know 'criticising' that choice.

However, there is something about the way you discuss this matter, and your responses to people's points on this thread scotmum, that that makes me understand - in a crystal clear way - why you, in particular, get people criticising your choice.

Thanks Icannotremember my story doesn't go like that at all. You are the kind of person this post is about.

Thanks Icannotremember my story doesn't go like that at all. You are the kind of person this post is about. Thanks for the flaming comment but it's wasted on me

Interesting term "a club" you're right at the handful of very top schools it is a club.But its not just about school it's about houses holidays cars jewellery clothes investments; wealth in general its a club called money. They're not agonising over a place at Eton and a place at the local comp, they're not lying awake at night worrying if their DC will get into that outstanding comp which they sit on the edge of the catchment area for because they haven't even applied for a state school place.

LIZS no it's not and you shouldn't get upset by someone else's choice. I don't get annoyed when my friends don't buy the same car as me. I don't see their decision as being a criticism of me. I don't really care. It's their choice.

Just thought I should say I'm a great fan of Glasgow and cant stand Edinburgh if I had to live in a city it would be Glasgow I think its a great place.

You may not think so but those who have less choice might feel that. Which I say as one whose dc have been privately educated.

Happy gardening thankyou. Both cities are great

Couldn’t have put it better myself Hulloa...

Ok, well some of them must be fairly small, and it’s irrelevant- it certainly isn’t the norm in Glasgow. The vast majority of voters are SNP and Labour. Parts have the lowest life expectancy in the UK, and some of the highest rates of health issues. It also has the highest number of single parents in the UK and the fewest numbers of non resident parents paying child maintenance. There is a lot of inequality and a lot of traditional working class families with Irish roots and big families with lots of children. The general feeling is therefore not likely to be hugely in favour of your child getting sent off to a private school. It just isn’t the norm and that’s ok. Don’t therefore go on an Internet forum and moan about people not liking it when you have kids living all around you in complete poverty.

Its up to you where you send your child but my nearest independent school charges £7700 a term for day pupils which is rather more than most people spend on their holidays.