Why do people openly criticise decisions to send your kids to a private school?

[scotmum1977]

I sent my Son to a private school (Glasgow) last year for various reasons and it's working out really well. There is the cost but we just do without expensive holidays etc. I can't think of a better gift for my children than a good education. I was so surprised at how offended people get when they ask which school he attends. They think it's ok to criticise you openly and make bitchy comments here and there. Surely how you spend your own money is your own business. Anyone else have this experience?

We have this (dcs are at Grammar schools in a neighbouring county, because frankly the opportunities there are head and shoulders above anything available locally, state or private).
I honestly don't think there is an acceptable response to the "why" question. I usually just say it was recommended by my colleagues (true) and that it suits our family and my working hours. If asked how they are getting on (honest answer - so much better in a selective environment, they were massively understimulated for the last 2-3 years in state primary) I say they seem happy/ have settled well.

I think "it suits our family" is a great response. The reality is that it always is a very personal decision, based on myriad factors: logistics, curriculum, facilities, ethos, atmosphere, leadership team, results, where friends are going, personal and political beliefs, reviews of other parents that you trust, and so on. Families weigh all these things up and make decisions based on the mix of all these factors, and the factors are weighted differently for every family. There is no right or wrong answer (or best/worst options), as each family is different.

TP incorrect. I have never ever on a single occasion ever done an advanced search or ever linked to other threads and although we've engaged from time to time I've never prolonged it if only because of the short sharp sentences which I find hard to get any real meaning from. I have however come across lots of your posts. I am certainly not the person you describe. I hope that's emphatic enough. You would be welcome to substantiate your unfounded accusation but you won't be able to because no such advanced searches or posts exist! I think what you've just said breaches the MN guidelines so you might ask for it to be deleted since I can't be bothered. Good try to discredit but an abject fail.

We could afford it but I’m not interested in my daughter only mixing with the privileged. I think it’s appalling. Particularly in Scotland, where we are more egalitarian.

@IDontNeedNoPyjamas I like this response thanks. Will probably use this going forward to try put the subject to bed when quizzed - without offending anyone or my usual making up excuses to justify a personal decision. Thankyou

"Plus we have more interesting things to discuss than others people’s children’s schools - surely possibly the dullest topic ever."
11-12 years ago over lunch with friends we chatted about our school choices, etc now we discuss the cost of nursing homes (at £1500+ per week school fees look like a bargain), live in carers, stair lifts, attendance allowance, stubborn ageing parents/in laws and how relieved we are that we got enduring power of attorney before they went of their trolleys and became to unwell to do it voluntarily. Im not sure which is the "dullest"
Just shows you how life moves on.
PS if you parents/in laws have done the enduring power of attorney thing over health and wealth tell them to do it asap neither of you all regret it.

Have to give the credit to Stillwishihadabs

hear hear happygardening

happygardening I did my own LPA today :)

haven't done enduring power of attorney not have!!!
Anyway tell them to do it.

Also relevant if you have a stroke or car crash etc happygardening. I decided to nab my DC while they were at home for Christmas. I don't fancy being fought over in the Court of Protection.

Thanks @Stillwishihadabs  not looking forward to that chapter of my life @happygardening a few of my friends are going through this just now. I couldn't believe the cost either! Good luck with it all.

Enduring power of attorney is the old fashioned sort still valid but doesn’t cover health and welfare matters. Ideally get property and financial and health and welfare LASTING powers of attorney for both parents.

It’s not on a par with schools as not equivalent not the horrendous value judgement there is with providing your child with a particular type of education. Also I would rather hear about LPAs than your child’s proficiency at the trumpet which frankly if mentioned again I shall throw something. Tip - no one sane actually likes to listen to a trumpet.

Swift
Also I would rather hear about LPAs than your child’s proficiency at the trumpet which frankly if mentioned again I shall throw something. Tip - no one sane actually likes to listen to a trumpet.
Que?

People boring on about their children’s schooling and accomplishments kill me now

@MsTSwift I played the trumpet as a kid.........Took me 15 years to realise no-one wanted to listen to it HAHAHAHA

A lot of (not all) public school children seem to give of a 'I'm better than you' snobbish vibe which I really dislike.
My niece (was 9), who goes to a public school asked me where I bought my baby daughter's outfit from. She was clearly very unimpressed when I told her Morrison's. That's the sort of attitude I think comes from public schools which I really dislike.
I should add I had one year at a public school as a child and was very happy there.

Disagree Kayaking mum- my daughters and her friends at private school would never think to ask where another child’s outfit is from, and my own daughter told me to stop buying her things from the White Company as they were all rubbish and she prefers Tesco! The child you met is clearly just a bit of a brat, nothing to do with the school she attends.

Agree with Flossie, you see kids with that attitude in both state and private sectors. That usually comes from the parents, not the school.

"My niece (was 9), who goes to a public school"
Technically not that it really matters there are no public schools for 9 year olds.

It was enduring power attorney for my parents any good solicitor will be able to advise your parents including the correct terminology but the principle about your elderly relatives dong it is the same what ever its now called.
I find conversations about stubborn frail relatives who keep falling over, live in carers, stair lifts, wet rooms and electric reclining chairs pretty dull TBH.
Swift do lighten up its New Years Eve tomorrow. .

Swift, the trumpet is a FANTASTIC instrument - and scot, I belong to a group of learner / returner adults who play wind instruments together, including a trumpeter. Join a similar group - honestly, it is the most hilarious and enjoyable thing I do each week.

Poor bloody trumpets get blamed for everything.
Marvellous instruments, and adaptable to most genres you could think of.

@RomanyRoots 😂😂 well this thread has taken some twists but trumpets isn't one I'd anticipated 😂😂

I know quite a few good young trumpeters, who are being fantastically educated along with all the other instruments
One of the only schools I've heard that really bring out the individual person.

I can't believe mine is a good leader, it's not a family trait, and not something I feel she would have gained in different circumstances.
I think with a private education you are more likely to have less input into their school lives, but of course not always.