Why do people openly criticise decisions to send your kids to a private school?

[scotmum1977]

I sent my Son to a private school (Glasgow) last year for various reasons and it's working out really well. There is the cost but we just do without expensive holidays etc. I can't think of a better gift for my children than a good education. I was so surprised at how offended people get when they ask which school he attends. They think it's ok to criticise you openly and make bitchy comments here and there. Surely how you spend your own money is your own business. Anyone else have this experience?

grundys - hug.
TP there’s a MN scarf ?!?
I am quite new to MN and feel as though I have just seen behind the curtain a little.

My god what a heated and borderline hateful thread. A lot assumptions made by a number of posters and you know what they say about 'assumption' being the mother of all cock ups. Never automatically assume that parents school their children privately because it is an easy choice financially and never assume that parents state educate their children because they can't afford the private route. A lot of chips on a lot shoulders on this thread.

Hey, thank you.
We are blessed to have him still and that’s because of the educated, experienced, enquiring people who quickly diagnosed a nearly vanishingly rare, fatal disease from a bit of breathlessness on a dog walk.
Their teachers taught them brilliantly. From the nurse who we saw in the walk in to the HCP who did the ECG and the professor who diagnosed him (and who developed the tech to be able to do so). And everyone else in between.
I bloody love education and I wish the best could be available to everyone.

Completely agree with Flossie and can’t understand why OP seems to be deliberately antagonising towards her to the point of accusing her of lying .

Rafabella paying (or not) for education always seems to encourage “borderline hateful threads” on here and lots of “assumptions” it’s a shame really because most people from both sides of the argument are making interesting and valid points. I guess this thread backs up the OPs point that people are happy and willing to openly criticise her decision to her face although hopefully with less vitriol. Of course it’s always going to be controversial especially amongst those who feel that it’s unfair that you should be so obviously be able to buy possible advantages for your DC’s that others can’t buy due to lack of money and I have sympathy for this position. I find the vitriol displayed by those who persistently claim that they can afford to pay fees but opt not to irritating like those who pay you have made a choice.

Anyone with manners or indeed any sort of social graces does not discuss this topic irl anyway.

I never object to a civilised debate whether it be paying for education or even Brexit amongst friends.

Never this. Too close to home. And as this thread demonstrates doesn’t stay civil very long...

@MsTSwift lol yes it's fair to say it's a more sensitive subject than I thought.

Anyone with manners or indeed any sort of social graces does not discuss this topic irl anyway.
Really?
My friends and family do regularly.
We have all made different choices and justifying them is part of an interesting conversation.
We are all trying to do the best for our kids through the lens of our own experience.
Widening that experience through discussion is a sensible approach.

It’s SO easy to put your foot right in it when justifying your own choices

“Education is so important to us”
“Little Jimmy is so good at hockey he will be better supported at st custards”
“Best money we ever spent”

Will have state school parents bitching about you on the way home

That depends on how you justify it.

My kids went to a comp
two of their cousins went to famous boarding schools
two of their cousins are at private day
others are at selective state
others will be going to public school

Our finances vary, our kids outcomes vary, but because we are not goady at each other its all fine.

Only insecure parents really care what others think.

Frankly don’t trust myself after a couple of glasses not to put my foot in it. Round here it’s The Topic We Do Not Discuss after nasty incidents in the year above. Extended family and friends with no kids - fine.

How very sad.
Sad that the kids know that their parents feel so fragile about their choices.

Glad my friends are nicer than that
and that my kids have learned to be non judgey about where people went to school before they started their degrees

I wouldn’t want to accidentally hurt anyone’s feelings. What’s sad about that? Odd (and yet also weirdly sanctimonious) response.

Plus we have more interesting things to discuss than others people’s children’s schools - surely possibly the dullest topic ever.

We send our child to a private school because of the lack of low level disruption and a class size of 15 instead of the local state which has 30 plus.

If he wasnt so giddy and clownish we would use the local school. He really benefits from the education he is receiving.

TP I sent all eight of my DC to the nearest school to the home we've lived in for four decades (ie we haven't downshifted) - three miles away rather than five to the nearest comp - and you've regularly judged/ goaded me/ them on education threads purely for the fact of it being a grammar. I'm glad you're more tolerant within your own family....

MsTSwift agree: super dull.

Goodbye Ah, OK, so you are Molio
the poster who caused me to regularly alter my name because I got sick of you doing advanced search and linking to other threads.
Get a life.

Well whilst I can afford it, I shall give my son the best education.

Surely private or state you are doing the best for your child.
If you don't have the choice then that's life, you have to look to other alternatives. There are so many different types of school or the option to Home educate, there's something for everyone, no need for the angst.

I don't judge people who send their children to state schools. Please don't judge those who choose otherwise.

By saying you pay to give your child the "best education" you are implying people who chose state aren't doing the best for their children. That comes across as a judgement, whether you meant it or not.