Why do people openly criticise decisions to send your kids to a private school?

[scotmum1977]

I sent my Son to a private school (Glasgow) last year for various reasons and it's working out really well. There is the cost but we just do without expensive holidays etc. I can't think of a better gift for my children than a good education. I was so surprised at how offended people get when they ask which school he attends. They think it's ok to criticise you openly and make bitchy comments here and there. Surely how you spend your own money is your own business. Anyone else have this experience?

To add, our girl has "an English twang" nothing to do with class, everything to do with the fact I was born and lived there before moving to Scotland.

By ‘owning it’ I mean I am happy with my decisions- however, I also am sensitive enough to know exactly what a contentious issue it is, and of the significant issues around inequalities right now, so certainly wouldn’t want to cause unnecessary hurt to someone. What if their child was really struggling and I twerp up that my child is at a lovely school they would love their child to go to, but are unable too.

ahh yes agree with you if thats what you mean.

Jealousy. Plain and simple. Who wouldn't want their kids to have the best start in life? Have you seen some state schools recently? At least with private you can provide a safe, nurturing environment with amazing facilities, exposure to academics, sports, arts, travel and other likeminded families. I believe that it's only the insecure hard core socialists who want everyone to use their kids as guinea pigs in a failing system. In the ideal world of course state schools would be fantastic, but that's never happening unfortunately, so those of us who can give our kids an advantage will do so. Pay them no mind.

I wouldn’t use the term jealousy as I think it’s unnecessary- I think it is more sadness that their child hasn’t got the same advantage.

Not remotely jealous. Such a simplistic view to assume that. I’ve said I couldn’t afford private but also wouldn’t do it anyway - actually one way we could afford it would be to work in one, would never do that either. But of course my dc will benefit from educated parents who read to them etc, doesn’t mean we have to completely compromise our principles.

Oh Flossie you’re disappointing me now. In all seriousness if I won the lottery tomorrow our dc would stay in state schools.

Agree- I think it is arrogant to assume it is always jealousy. Some may be, but others may genuinely be opposed to private education full stop and not even have kids!

..mind you they’d have gold played school bags and be collected by a diamond encrusted mother.

Cross post

Dd could have a yacht like one of her friends. Not even trying to keep up with the jones's

Yabbers our son is also disabled and the smaller class sizes and less stressed teachers have really helped him bloom since he joined. (I haven't mentioned his disability so far as it's not relevant and didn't want more negative personal comments directed at my son which I don't think I'd respond well too) Hopefully you find the right place for your daughter. If you are fortunate enough to be in s position to consider private education then hopefully that opens up more options. It's not right, it's not fair, but I can say the same about my sons disability.... I now feel he is now on a level playing field with other children which is a better start up his education than if we weren't fortunate enough to be able to offer this as an option.

Mistressiggi by saying that even if you could afford it you still wouldn't pay you I'm assuming that in general youre happy with your DC's school. Having the money to pay schools fees simply gives you more choice in schools and thus you're more likely to find one that feels right, that does what you want for you and your DC. That's really what money does it widens your choice. Of course some will be all smug and say that they can effortlessly afford school fees but opt not not send their DC's to independent schools but lets face it in most cases this is because they like what their local state school offers. I suspect in reality only a very few can afford fees but opt their DC's to their local state school thats totally crap.

scotmum you don't need to apologise. If you have the choice and it's working for you terrific!

Thankyou Frogletmamma I guess I'm just a bit humble about it all and feel I need to give excuses all the time as to my decision. Even on here today I've been Personally insulted so many times - I'm apparently thick, smug, surrounded by poverty (I'm not) live In a bubble (I wish) privileged (def not but my eldest will be by attending s private school) I'm not s bad person, I have 2 disabled children. One physically disabled very bright and the other not able to make mainstream. I make decisions for my children to give them the best start I. Life. I'm going to stop making excuses abc being polite whilst others criticise me. I will start owning my decisions. Trolls should be ashamed of themselves on here today, peace out everyone and thankyou for your views xx

My god- you just don’t get it. The very fact you can send your child with additional needs to a private school makes you privileged! And whether you can physically see it doesn’t deflect from the fact that you are in the city with some of the worst levels of poverty in the whole of the UK. It might not be in your physical street but it won’t be far away. This type of response is no doubt why people get upset with you.

Flossietoot I don't expect you to understand. Not do I take any of your comments seriously. You've managed to offend s lot of people on here tonight with your black abc white views.

Biggest drip feed in history OP.
Also, saying you are “humble” makes anyone sound the exact opposite - or is that just me?

Because you’re admitting state schools aren’t good enough, but doing nothing to change it.

Think everyone doesn’t want to do the best for their children, or give them this gift? Lots don’t have the option, but you don’t see help across the board with improving schools.

You should be comfortable sending your kids to the worst state school. As it is you’re complicit in treading down other kids.

It’s an “I’m alright, Jack” attitude.

And yes, we’re all just one person etc... so let’s keep ignoring the problem

Who else have I offended?? Stop playing the victim. You are rich enough to pay for your child to go to a private school and get the additional support he needs. I work in a very deprived area where three quarters of the very large nursery class are on a very long waiting list for speech therapy and many also waiting to being assessed for ASD. Many of these kids will be behind in everything for the rest of their lives and their parents will NEVER be able to pay for even a private speech therapy session never mind a top private schooling.
It isn’t fair and many people realise this (especially living in a city with HUGE levels of poverty and various other social issues) so understandably will make the odd bitchy comment. Yes it is shit your children have additional needs, but to come on to an Internet forum saying you don’t know why people might be upset that you aren’t using state education and then get all humpy when I point out inequalities and tell you to wise up is ridiculous.

Well I don’t recall anyone else disagreeing with me beyond you apart from some comments about Scottish accents vs English accents. You are deliberately taking my comments out of context and you know it. You sound totally hysterical. Yes- I have friends from a wide range of backgrounds including those who went to schools that gave them posh accents. Why exactly does that mean I am a snob? I equally have friends who have had very hard lives and that’s totally ok too. You have accused me of making stuff up- I haven’t made anything up and I stand by every word. Whatever it is you are insecure about is your issue- not mine.

What exactly is the issue with kids aquiring an English accent?? How is me pointing this out offensive??
At absolutely no point did I say you were thick because you came from a council scheme- you are being deliberately twisted and inflammatory.
I said you were thick because you couldn’t see why people didn’t like private schools!!!!!

So I'm now hysterical as well as thick, from a housing scheme, delusional abd every other insult you've issued tonight. You can boast of your wealth all you want but clearly money doesn't buy class. You have stooped very low on here. You should be ashamed.

And like I said- the information I provided on the social issues in Glasgow is not from Google- it is widely known that Glasgow is in general one of the poorest cities in the UK and voted to leave the Union in the Scottish referendum. And as others pointed out- the political climate is relevant!!!!