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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Teacher tells my child not to shout out and yet ignores her when she asks a question

51 replies

FoxyDog1234 · 09/11/2018 20:27

My child has come home numerous times (she is in year 9 and if other posts have been read you’ll know what she’s like ) and she has told me about this one teacher (who , by the way , phones me about her ALOT) she’s expressed to me that she has to shout out . Sometimes she blurts things out like silly questions and because of this the teacher doesn’t answer any questions from her and this lad who are both as bad as each other really . She will avoid them when there hands are up and eventually say I, not answering your question so you might aswell put your hand down . She then shouts at my daughter for shouting out the question in which she has to answer . This is the only way for her to get a question answered and it is not ok . I appreciate she blurts things out by accident sometimes and chats a lot but in the times she wants to learn , it necessary to answer her questions as it may be something important etc . I’m not sure whether to approach this teacher or not about this

OP posts:

Carpetglasssofa · 09/11/2018 20:31

Tell your dd to behave herself. Her shouting out is disrupting the learning of 29 others.

SnuggyBuggy · 09/11/2018 20:32

Are these questions essential?

explodingkitten · 09/11/2018 20:36

Sometimes she blurts things out like silly questions

I think that she cried wolf too many times. She should start behaving. After a while the teacher might take her seriously again.

Can you ask her to write down her questions and then look it up with her after school?

TeenTimesTwo · 09/11/2018 20:36

Maybe for a while your DD should approach the teacher at the end of the lesson to ask her questions?
I'm not surprised the teacher has stopped responding if a lot of the time it was silly questions.

BubblegumFactory · 09/11/2018 20:36

Your DD sounds very disruptive. Is she aware of others in the classroom? Sounds like the teacher is not able to do the job properly because of constant interruptions.

Wolfiefan · 09/11/2018 20:37

So she’s being a PITA and monopolising the teacher by shouting out and disrupting the class but can’t see why they are now trying to give attention to others in the class?
Maybe she should stop shouting out and being a nuisance? Tell her that. Don’t bother the teacher.

radiometer · 09/11/2018 20:38

If she has an MO of blurting out disruptive crap, I'm not surprised the teacher isn't calling on her to give her the opportunity to do it some more.

It's something your daughter needs to fix. She's Y9, you need to take a step back. The teacher isn't trying to damage your child's life chances, they are trying to ensure a decent learning environment for all the others.

If she has questions that she needs answering then your child needs to stay after class and say, "listen Ms Teacher, I am really sorry about all the irritating stuff I have done. I have been really working on cutting it out. I had some questions during the lesson, can we go over them now?"

Your daughter needs to build up the relationship with the teacher, so that they have mutual trust. To be honest, if you daughter cut out the annoying immature bollocks for a week or two, the teacher probably would call on her if she raised her hand. Challenge your child to give it a try.

Original poster

FoxyDog1234 · 09/11/2018 20:50

She says she can’t help it and it’s a habit x

OP posts:

PotteringAlong · 09/11/2018 20:52

She can help it.

SnuggyBuggy · 09/11/2018 20:55

I think you need to be firmer.

BubblegumFactory · 09/11/2018 20:58

Bollocks she can’t help it.
And you are contributing to the problem.
Try walking in that teacher’s shoes and you’ll soon be telling your DD to button it and get on with her work.

Wolfiefan · 09/11/2018 21:03

She can’t help it? Bollocks.
It may be a habit. But that’s no excuse for not trying to stop. Stop excusing her crappy behaviour and support the school.

HeddaGarbled · 09/11/2018 21:04

I think that’s a really good idea to encourage her to write down the questions and then the two of you can look up the answers at home.

I have worked with students who find it really difficult not to ask a lot of questions nor to control the impulse to ask them as soon as they pop into their heads. Sometimes this can be an issue for students with SEN.

But that doesn’t mean that they can’t understand that it can be disruptive in class and to work on strategies to reduce the disruption. An understanding teacher helps so I don’t think it would do any harm to have the conversation with the teacher explaining what strategies you and your daughter are trialling and asking for their understanding and support.

Thestral · 09/11/2018 21:07

"in the times she wants to learn" - these times should be when the teacher is trying to teach, not her own schedule.

She's old enough to know that shouting out and not listening won't endear her to anyone.

TeaAndNoSympathy · 09/11/2018 21:11

Well, she needs to break the habit doesn’t she? She’s year 9 and she’ll have been told over and over again not to call out during her school career - this will not be new to her. She can absolutely help it and she needs to stop if she wants to build a relationship with this teacher.

ForeverBubblegum · 09/11/2018 21:12

It's very unnfortunate for your DD to have such a habit, but its something that is going to have to be dealt with. It's already impacting her by preventing her from been able to learn. She'll be an adult in a few years, how is she going to hold down a job if she can't control her behaviour?

You need to have a very serious talk with her and try to work out if it's an unfortunate personality trait (that she can work to overcome) or some form of SEN, and if so find appropriate support for her.

IHeartKingThistle · 09/11/2018 21:17

I teach a couple of these. They can help it. Does she manage to sit in silence in assembly when the Headteacher is talking? Of course she bloody does. The 'questions' are generally irrelevant and aimed at making others laugh. I don't think you've got any concept of how irritating it is and how much effect it has on a lesson. What makes your daughter think she is entitled to more of the teacher's time than the other 29 kids? You need to stop accepting her 'but I was only...'s and support the teacher.

Sorry. I'm possibly projecting a little. I know it's the teacher's job to manage behaviour. But parents could do a lot to help!

goodnessgrace · 09/11/2018 21:17

She can't help it? It's a habit? Oh FFS.

Now unless there's going to be a major drop feed and you tell us she actually suffers from Tourette's then YABVVVU and so is your DD. She needs to learn how to behave.

goodnessgrace · 09/11/2018 21:18

*drip feed.

Frlrlrubert · 09/11/2018 21:20

Barring SEN she should be able to control herself by year nine. Even with SEN she needs to abide by the school's behaviour rules. She/you/the teacher and the SENCO need to work together to come up with strategies to help her stop this.

I think writing questions down is a good one. She could have a whiteboard or scrap paper and the teacher can check her questions once she's done the 'teacher talk' but. If there's not enough time in the lessons she could see the teacher out of class or bring them home.

A lot of ADHD and anxious pupils have discrete fiddle toys these days as a method of diverting them from problem behaviours - could be worth a go?

noblegiraffe · 09/11/2018 21:21

Not surprised the teacher is ignoring her, it’s because her contributions to the class are inane and disruptive instead of sensible and thoughtful.

Kids don’t need to ask questions that often. Questions can usually wait and not interrupt the teacher’s flow of teaching.

So tell your DD to stop being a pain in the arse.

RolyRocks · 09/11/2018 21:27

Please understand OP that blurting out/shouting out in a lesson stops the flow and causes delays, which means that possibly, not all of the material can be covered. Equally, if the ‘questions’ asked are ‘silly’ as you say, it is incredibly disruptive. Your daughter is also not being ignored; it is bad practise to always pick students with their hands up and instead, select students. If you’re DD has already had her voice heard then she is unlikely to be selected. I am not saying this to pick on your DD but if you were to just watch a lesson where pupils call out all the time and anlesson where they didn’t, you would understand where I am coming from.

meditrina · 09/11/2018 21:27

"she blurts things out by accident sometimes and chats a lot"

"She says she can’t help it and it’s a habit"

She's going to have to learn some control. She's year 9, so 13 or 14 and so should be capable of basic classroom conduct (nonchatting, no shouting out). If really not, get the SENCO involved.

But otherwise, tell her to stop interrupting lessons, and list any remaining questions at the end of each homework she hands in. Once teachers realise she is no longer disruptive and serious about learning, everything I'll blossom.

PortiaCastis · 09/11/2018 21:30

Tell her to shut up and stop disrupting the class and the other kids, she needs to learn that life isn't just about her

Wolfiefan · 09/11/2018 21:31

She’s never going to get through GCSE if she shouts out. She will be thrown out of the exam room. And as for coping at college or holding down a job?

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