Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday

Mine has come home in tears :( He did some Welsh homework last week - chose the most difficult of the four options and did it really thoroughly and neatly, and has been given it back to do again by tomorrow because he didn't draw the relevant colours next to the sentences even though it says nothing on the homework sheet about having to do that. Apparently most of the class have to do it. Teacher allegedly mentioned it briefly at the very end of the lesson, but DS had already been summoned to his keyboard lesson by then. I've told him to just put a coloured bullet-point at the start of each sentence - no way am I making him write it all out again.

Yes, why can't they add the colours in rather than have to redo?

Yes DS1's secondary school seems to threaten 15 minute detentions for not having full uniform, not having correct PE kit, not being Prepared for Learning (stationery mainly), not doing homework. They start lessons quite early and have to be in at 8.20 for 8.30 am start - this is so they can finish at 3.10 for extra curricular stuff, but DS1 was interested in trampolining, but has said no boys there, his friends said they were going but didn't, there were a lot of people (he doesn't like very big groups) and that it couldn't start until 3.30 because the teacher was running detentions. She's a PE teacher and it seems as though the PE teacher might end up having to do more detentions than others. It's all a bit much, and for kids who do worse things it won't seem like a punishment, while for kids who want to get things right I think the emotional impact might be worse than the detention, eg our missing tie drama last week.

hi all,my DS school seems strict on everything,none yet but only because im always flapping about having everything to hand etc.ive lived on my nerves for years and have Bipolar so can get a bit stressy about things

this week loads of homework,ive never been a homework lover but make sure its done as thats what i signed up for choosing this school but its pretty full on

how are others finding homework??

great thread and very supportive

PE kit lost again! Had his indoor kit with him so played rugby in that! Quite a lot of homework which I'm currently supervising very closely. Am very envious of friends with kids who just get on with it! Poor executive function (being able to organise yourself, ideas etc) means he really struggles with any essay type work. they said 2-3 pieces each night of about 30 mins each. We can spend 2 +'hours on a piece that requires a lot of writing so it's pretty hard going.

Oh no at lost PE kit cheminotte. I hope it finds it way back again.

Homework isn't too bad for DS2 yet. He seems to get a generous timescale to do it in. Despite nagging advising him to do it as he goes he puts it off to nearer the deadline. This is a bit of a family trait tbh!

Sorry lost PE kit again cheminotte

DS form tutor has got him a special locker for PE kit and has put another staff member incharge of key 😳

DS didn't go to school today, seemed upset but wouldn't say why but probably his sister's drama. She stayed in today and at least we didn't have any screaming.

Dd left her trainers in the changing room on tuesday. I really hope she finds them. She also left her wet swimming stuff in her locker yesterday! She is quite motivated and organised about homework, which is lovely as my elder dd isn't so I don't have it easy with both of them!

We recently had a parent's information-type event at which lost sports kit was mentioned as there had been lots, and a plea to label everything! Lost kit seems to be a common problem!

There seems to be an issue of a lost homework booklet, not by DS1. School produced a booklet for Science homework to be set over this term. They have several Science teachers although lessons haven't yet been split up by subject and called Physics etc. One of the teachers set the class work in the booklet in class then collected it in. Problem is that he was a supply teacher. Wondering if the booklets are in school or if he's mysteriously taken them off with him. DS1 has different homework not from the booklet but it seems mad if school has produced a learning material like this that it's just been lost (along with a class's work that day).

DD has a number of booklets for various subjects. I was expecting textbooks but these take up less space! We have a plastic folder in her backpack for these items to keep them all together.

Both went off fine today but as soon as DS arrived they gave him a detention for Tuesday, sent him home that day too for being rude to a teacher and throwing his planner. Anyway, he didn't go so they've given him a longer one tomorrow. I fear tomorrow will not go well. Also his homework system still isn't set up so he's missing homeworks. DD is getting much better but still demanding 10 million playdates from next week and school have said not.

Sorry to hear that Penguins. Why have the school said no playdates?
Dd is settling well. I'm wondering if her maths teacher is inexperienced. She says he's very shouty and he had a stand off with a boy yesterday because he's told the children to take their blazers off because it was hot and the boy didn't. He said he's happy to stay there til 5 pm til the boy took it off. You'd think they'd give them the option to take it off but not enforce it unless for safety reasons, which it wasn't

School aren't banning them altogether just a lot less and want us to have met parents and children first before agreeing. I can see the a lot less but find it old for meeting parents, at primary yes. The only thing is maybe they are hinting there's an issue with one or more of the families, there were quite unsubtle comments regarding one family.

That does seem crazy re blazer, I think you get the odd teacher who is on a power trip. Thankfully there's not many of them. DS went to school very reluctantly, not expecting today to end well. Getting close to school refusal again and been told can't touch him to get him there but then if you don't you can get fined or imprisoned ultimately. DD also said the school isn't secure there are gaps you can get through and adults could get in and kids run out without being seen. Thankfully DS hasn't realised that yet and village is safe but not great.

Hope DS is o.k. today penguins. Glad DD is improving, hope it continues.

That is a rather bizarre stand off Colonel, sounds like some dominance at play. If it had been my DS1 the teacher would still be there now, as he never removes his blazer (apart from PE).

DS2 is already dreading Monday as in science they will have to speak in front of the class, selling a metal they've invented. This really is not his thing and I'm expecting all kinds of ailments on Sunday night. He has at least made a start on the work, but it seems the idea he came up with in class isn't that easy to actually achieve. I got an F in Science so I am not of any help at all!

Thanks Frayed My DH has a PhD in that area of son's homework. I think its things like testing what metals / materials are best for aeroplanes / nuclear power stations / cars etc. Its to see things like can they withstand heat, will they crack under pressure, how heavy are they, how strong are they, life span. This is a page on advantages of composite (more than 1 metal combined) but gives idea of what they might want:

compositeslab.com/benefits-of-composites

I only understand it basically and not sure what level they go to in y7 but these are the interesting type of things DH can discuss for 2 hours. 😎

God penguins they aren't even giving him a chance to get himself sorted are they...

That blazer stand off us just ridiculous. How is there even time for that shit.

Ah Penguin, as someone married to an engineer I know your pain Obviously the school trust your judgement on the children/parent thing a little more than they trust your DD's.

DD is still tired, but doing OK here. The homework is taking a LOT longer though, so I feel like I'm constantly nagging her to do a bit but it's so it's not too overwhelming in one session.

I think we should have got a larger backpack, it is stuffed! Not helped by her carrying about three reading books with her each day, really heavy as well.

Thanks penguins I'll take a look at that. DS2's idea hinges on the metal being blue. They didn't cover the topic in class as the teacher got distracted telling them about Yr9/10 work but they'd drawn their idea first.

I've ordered DS2 a bigger backpack Sassitude. DS1's is perfect but they don't seem to make it anymore. I know DS2 will moan like hell about it hurting on PE days but the FB parent page is full of lost kit pleas. He barely has any books to carry but he has hypermobile shoulders.

DS2's French teacher has renamed him. initially got his name wrong, now knows what it is but is sticking with it. It's also my FIL's name! DS2 doesn't mind and I think it is meant kindly IYKWIM. Just hope the other pupils don't start calling him it though.

That's why i wondered if the blazer stand off teacher was inexperienced. He may have been worried if he backed down he'd lose control. I think a more experienced teacher probably would have been more discerning about which battles they picked!

What time are all your Y7s going to bed? We are having the most horrible bedtimes because DS is clearly exhausted but 'everyone else' is allowed to stay up until 11 (and most of them are still on bloody Fortnite when I drag him off at 8.30). He needs to be asleep by 9.30 or he's a disaster the next day but he's having none of it. Huge horrible tantrum last night that ended up with both of us in tears.

dc is very tired and usually asleep before 9.
we allow 1 hour of screentime a day and dc has to chose if they want to play or watch tv...

DS loves his sleep and has always taken himself off to bed normally around 9pm and he sleeps through to 7.45am. He also needs his sleep but loves giant soft toys so loves to sleep cuddling them or under them.

DD is a nightmare to get to sleep but she generally makes better with less sleep. Last year it amused me her phone was going at all hours with messages from the grammar school girls who all have strict parents - I suspect they didn't know they were messaging at 11pm or 6am. I also got the everyone else does it and trouble was from her phone could tell it was true for a fair few of them. My parents put me in bed at 8pm at this age.

If he's struggling at school though then think you just have to be tough on it, but I have been in tears a lot recently so I symphathise.

Ds had a big blip this week due to an incident on Tuesday which the school have handled very badly.
So now we're back to hating school, not wanting to do homework and not wanting to be there.
I'm furious, and even dh, who tends to take a more pragmatic approach has agreed this could very easily effect his education permanently. We are complaining loudly.

Oh dear just got an email saying DS has a detention on Monday lunchtime. Due to persistant lateness (he was last by a couple of minutes on Monday and Tuesday due to his sister being a slow-arse in the morning). DH emailed the school back asking if DD could be put it detention too since it was her fault (she gets away with not being on time as she helps set up for assembly every morning and someone else signs in for her). Neither of them are going to be very impressed when they get home! Thank god it's the weekend!