Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday

hmmm something to keep a close eye on Giles. Hope they at least leave DD alone from now on.

I hope that sorts it out Giles.

DD has actually left something behind today - I hope it's not needed during the day. Have just texted her because I thought she'd have noticed and she hadn't - I've probably panicked her now!

Thanks everyone. She hasn't text yet so hopefully that is a good sign..

DS woke up this morning saying he didn't want to go today but was ok once up and has art and music which he enjoys.

He is also hypermobile with terrible handwriting. He is using a laptop for lessons with a lot of writing but I wish he would use it more. Looking at his maths textbook I can barely understand what he has written. Luckily when it comes to revising they tend to email out loads of info and we have textbooks at home so will use those instead. I'm not sure how understanding the teachers will be when it comes to homework. He is doing a big DT assignment at the moment and I persuaded him to type one bit but he handwrote some sections and it looks awful!

Giles i hope things improve for your dd. I've got a friend who blames mean boy behaviour on "immaturity" and mean girl behaviour on being "because girls are such bitches" Exasperating!

Yes very. What ever happened to holding people accountable for their behaviour

We've had a tortuous weekend with homework. Mostly due to DD2 not seeing the point of it. Famous exchange of the weekend: "you need to research X's work and write what you like about it..." DD2: "And what happens if I don't like any of it? What do I write then??" "Well I think the idea is that you find something you like about it...."

Last night she couldn't sleep because she was anxious. Well she thought she had chest pain and felt sick. She didn't believe me that it was anxiety, but I pointed out that a) I'm her Mum, b) I'm a nurse and c) it only came on when she went to bed and started thinking about school, and she feels better when she gets out of bed and comes back down to us. I won

We had homework dramas this morning. DS2 remembered at 7.50am that he hadn't finished part of his art homework. Argh. He got it done and made the bus, though I dropped him around the corner to be sure he'd make it. He has since texted to say he can't get his PE stuff back in his bag. I've ordered a new one. I'm trying to be zen, particularly as school had to share the saddest type of news last week.

Oh I'm sorry to hear that, FrayedHem. So early in the term.

Sounds stressful frayed hope the rest of the day was fairly uneventful good news is that the teachers she had today followed the instructions 're seating and she didn't get any problems really. Although obviously there's still tomorrow.. bad news is she did end up with another kid significantly bigger than her fall onto her during a fight/scuffle/ boys mucking about that they seem rather resigned to happening.... but an improvement I guess it at least this time wasnt aimed at her

Glad they left your DD alone, Giles. Frayed - that's so sad :(

Glad the teacher has changed the seating Giles. School

Whoops. anyone else lost paragraphs?!? School have put support in place for those who need it. What the family must be going through.

Sorry DD got squished Giles. It does sound a very physical group she's in. DS2 is still complaining of a sore throat, it's been over 2 weeks now. Was just red last week but think I'll have to get him checked over again.

2 weeks? Poor thing. That must make everything ten times worse if he's feeling rubbish still. So sorry it's been such a hard time

DS2 has gone to school not sure he'll last the day. V late night as had to take DS3 to A&E last night. DS3 is ok but has had his head glued. DS2 came with me as DS3 is v attached to him. Have written a note to excuse from PE and a general explanation to mentor group teacher.

Oh god it never rains does it think in your shoes I'd almost he tempted to say fuck it and keep home for a couple of days .

DD was cold today going to school. All of her jumpers are in her locker!

Just giving a shout out to penguin, as I've seen another thread from her recently. Also having the paragraph issues here, so apologies for the wall of text! DD was in tears last night, not about school about something else. It's really unusual for her to be upset like that, so I am taking it seriously. We've listened, told her that she has options (it's my mantra ATM, read an article on it over the summer!) and outlined a few. Seemed to help a bit.

Oh less you all - so many people with so much to deal with at the moment :( I hope your DS3 is OK, Frayed, and that DS2's throat is just a cold - they all seem to have them at the moment but two weeks is a long time and it won't be helping.

Lougle, how was your DD this morning?

DS actually voluntarily wore a jacket to school yesterday. Lost it. FFS.

Thanks for thinking of me Sassitude Hope your DD is happier now.

DD is being a nightmare because I took her phone and grounded her for going missing on Sunday, first time ever done that. She did same on Monday and told a pack of lies about me and DH to school, just had a meeting with school and boy had she gone for it. Thankfully school believed us and all they've offered us is a voluntary thing, think called a Family Support Worker but we can say no. When they read out what she had written omg I saw our children being taken away, DH regularly beats me, we wash our plates in bleach plus about 100 similar claims etc . All over a stupid phone. Last night she admitted to me she had lied due to her phone and wanting to live with her friend's cool parents who seem to have no rules.

She also said when she was missing she was at her friends parents and they lied when DH went to collect her saying she wasn't there. They have also sent their children round twice to get DD and told her to lie about where she's going and that she can stay overnight at theirs whenever she wants without telling us. First time DH caught it, second time DD knew and told her brother to lie for her. Thankfully DS came straight to get me. The school basically said avoid that family. I am really hacked off with that family as they know she's grounded plus we spent few hours on Sunday worried sick not knowing where she was and who tells kids they can stay overnight and not tell parents. Was close to calling police on Sunday and will do if they attempt to keep her again. She was perfectly behaved until started this new school, argh. I was really happy she had made new friends but . Annoying as I said no to sleepover then DH said yes. Someone maybe grounded for sometime.

Oh God, that sounds like an utter nightmare! The new friend's family sound awful and definitely to be avoided. Have you spoken to them directly about it? Have they been told the same lies about you?

Yes they are who reported it as DD told them this then school quizzed her. I left a message on her phone saying was taking phone and grounding her which led to her saying this to them. I completely understand them reporting it but hiding a child 😱 DH has spoken to them but being him hasn't mentioned there's an issue. School suggested I did but I feel quite annoyed and don't like confrontation so school then said as the safeguarding team see them regularly they could chat with them but recommended a complete ban.

Urgh - what a nightmare!! Hope you manage to get it sorted out and get your lovely well-behaved daughter back. Are any of her old friends at this school with her?

No we have moved areas completely. She was at London grammar last year but hated it and wanted to move but comps there weren't good with SN and got very average results and fair bit of crime in town. So moved to a beautiful village by DHs work with lovely comp school with good results (35% As), no crime etc but issue is we know no-one. Obviously want her to have friends but looks like this one wasn't a good choice. She also asked me if she could have a boyfriend just to hug, told her she was too young and said she is saying no. Was all girls last year.