All the country seems to be celebrating GCSE results, I am not!

[reasonableme]

Dear Mums,

Please help me see light at the end of what seems to be a dark tunnel.

Everyone on Mumsnet is celebrating their children's GCSEs - most posts I read were talking about their DC's 8s and 9s with the least grade I read about being a 6. Clearly all those super accomplished children's parents are all on Mumsnet or vice versa which is why I think this is the right forum for my question.

My DD was predicted 6s and 7s in most subjects but she ended up with 4s and 5s in most with just one 6. She cleared the entrance exam for a private school for 6th form earlier but now lost out on that seat as she couldn't clear the entry requirements. No school in the vicinity wants to take her. She prepared very well for GCSEs spending several hours every day. I personally helped her with several hours of revisions, free science lessons on YouTube , flash cards, practice etc. She was in top sets in her school for almost all the subjects. I am really struggling to understand what happened that her marks were so bad across the board. University path as we know is literally over for her and her a levels are a big question mark.

The school (state school, ofsted good) hasn't bothered to get in touch with me after the results and surprisingly they didn't express any surprise at her results. I emailed them requesting them for a remarking and I asked DD to resit maths and English GCSEs in November. I am trying to get private tutors while trying to get her admitted to 'some' 6th form college. I suspect she has mild ADD as she is highly fidgety and is into mindless dancing with music blasted into her ears. I am planning to take her to an educational psychologist for help. Other than that no major distractions (as if that was not major)!

Both DH and I had high academic backgrounds and her disastrous results are depressing to all of us. I have not become normal 4 days since and have been crying for days now that all my dreams for her have been shattered. Most universities want consistent track record so GCSEs matter more than we wish they did. The results are poor in all the subjects so there is definitely a major disconnect somewhere. How do I see light and how do I move on?

I agree with rogue that there is no need to resit maths and English if she has passed then. Resits will simply drain energy when she should be settling into her new course.

Our local sixth form colleges are vast and offer so many courses which a private school would never be able to run. I would suggest that you check out the process for late enrolments and start working through IT related courses on offer. They will range from social media, web design to more traditional programming. Then get on the phone tomorrow or turn up in person. It's the chance to broaden horizons and still get a place at university.

P.S. Best friend's DD got all 4s and 5s. My DN is still trying to pass maths on his 5th attempt, heading downwards grade wise.

Your daughter has passed her GCSE's and should be congratulated. I think you should now concentrate on supporting her to move forward -at her existing school? Or a different sixth form/FE college. Unless she missed the next grade by just a few marks then remarks are not a sensible option. Please don't push her into November resits - she doesn't need to resit.
I am guessing that the 6/7s in her last report were target rather than predicted grades. You say that school were not surprised by her GCSE grades - I suspect you knew she was struggling and this is why you put in all that extra effort helping her revise. Students who achieve 7/8/9 don't tend to need that amount of input.
Take her out for a meal, tell her you are proud of her, find out what she wants to do and come up with a plan. Further Education Colleges have advice sessions this week - make an appointment and start moving forward.

I have posted on the other threads and whilst DS has done very well in some subjects he is also thrilled with 5s in others, due to his SpLD. I try not to care that others achieved a clean sweep of 9s. I think success in life is down to so much more than top grades at GCSE.

Why not go the vocational route? BTec in computing (as she's interested in this) or an apprenticeship if you can find one?

I’ve just been sitting in a café with my DS who has also just completed his GCSEs.

‘You know, some mums see their children as trophies,’ he said, giving me a hard Paddington stare.

He thinks I’m heading in that direction by focussing too much on where he finished in the 'GCSE Olympics'. There may be an element of truth in his observation. It’s so easy to have certain hopes, even expectations, where your children are concerned, particularly if you were a scholarly type at the same stage.

So you have my sympathy OP. I don’t expect you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and nail a smile on your face immediately. But please don’t let yourself be overly influenced by some of the threads in this section - the Lake Wobegon-esque parallel reality depicted, in which all children are well above average, is not representative of real life.

It sounds like your DD has an idea of the direction in which she would like to head in the future – and that’s brilliant. As others have said, there’s absolutely no need to rule out university in the longer term if that continues to be your DD’s wish.

I can think of two university professors I’ve worked for who were late bloomers. One started off as a technician, the other went off to one of the old Polytechnics after school. Both are exceptionally intelligent and creative men. They took the slower, more scenic route to university but that was the right path for them.

More interesting minds often mature more slowly and over a longer period of time.

But even if your DD decides in the end that the academic side of things is not for her – that’s fine too.

for you and for your DD.

Sorry to hear the upset this has caused. I would definitely pursue this with the school, even if there isn't a chance for remarking at least they can help you to understand why this has happened. Without reading ALL of the above posts; computing she could still go into based on experience through friends. Maybe if academia isn't her strength she could consider another subject she enjoys pursuing? I have a strong academic background and often the exams do not end at university and it is very hard to keep motivated well into your 20's without a strong academic background as I'm sure your husband and yourself can relate

It's hard when you get unexpected results. There will be options for a review of marking but they are not remarks

The school (state school, ofsted good) hasn't bothered to get in touch with me after the results and surprisingly they didn't express any surprise at her results
I wouldnt expect any school to contact parents in results day to be honest though

OutWithTheCrowd wise words from your DS - he'll go far! I like the Paddington stare! The very few Dcs I've met in real life who get all 8s and 9s are very unusual - they are always questioning what they need to do to get a higher grade. They are emphatically not like 98 % of 16 year olds!
The young people I teach have very different backgrounds and tend to fall more into the category that everyone is good at something - it may be computers, fashion design, playing guitar, drawing, sport, looking after animals or being lovely, caring people. I have seen two of my students get into Cambridge from an Access course with the most chequered academic background so I genuinely know there are many paths!
Usual warnings on remarks - they are now reviews. Even if the marking was a bit harsh, if it's in the correct marking band it won't change.

I think you should look at your DDs study habits as this may help with future exams. Pupils can spend too much time doing things like creating flash cards without ever actually memorising what is written on them. YouTube clips can be on, giving the impression they are studying, without actually taking anything in.

They need to memorise facts by repeating them over and over and writing them down. For maths they need to practice questions over and over again.

I was surprised to see shock from some of you when I said 'my dreams for my daughter have been shattered 'while on the other threads on MN, everyone is talking about getting a remark from an 8 to a 9 or treating a 6 as a low grade and none of you said anything there . I am not judging them anyways but Is it because it's success in their case that you are not judging them?

No, I probably didn't comment on the latter as I have nothing useful to say.

I think you need to make your peace with the fact that your dd isn't particularly academic. How does that make you feel?

She can still go to uni and do brilliantly with btecs. As my dd is about to.

The school (state school, ofsted good) hasn't bothered to get in touch with me after the results and surprisingly they didn't express any surprise at her results

No secondary school I've known would get in touch with parents!

I would be worried that your DD was in the top set for nearly everything. This indicates a fundamental problem with the school assessing progress and attainment and not making it clear to parents, and possibly students, what the likely outcome of the exams will be. If the 6/7 was aspirational, one would have reasonably expected this level of attainment for top set students. I can understand why the OP is disappointed for her DD.

However there are courses out there, such as Btecs, and she has probably now realised that a different style of learning might serve her well. I’m not sure A levels are worth pursuing as there might be more disappointments ahead with this route, assuming you could find a provider to take her.

Many of us have had DC who didn’t do as well as expected in a variety of exams over the years. It’s not the end of the world and you have to regroup and find a way forward. You will.

I'm so sorry you are in this position OP. My dd has just done GCSEs so am feeling the same pressures.

I understand your disappointment and I think for completeness sake and to understand future options a debrief with school would be worthwhile.

You've been given all sorts of valuable advice on this thread about 6th form which I would take. Your DD will do well just in a slightly different path.

It is hard being a parent in these situations and I have no criticism of you at all. My dd is very different to me and dh who are both professionals with an academic background and we've struggled often with her.

Try to look on this part of parenting as a job. Be professional and guide your DD to her best option.

Take care.

I for one was very relieved to see this thread. My DS didn't do as well as he had hoped for on results day and wasn't accepted initially at his schools' sixth form although they did relent and say he could go ahead and attempt 2 A levels. We have decided that is a really bad idea and he will go to college instead. On the day, last Thursday, who could forget - I came on here thinking that there would be loads of threads from people in a similar situation but no as the OP notes it was ALL parents' whose children got 8/9's. The single thread that I did find was from someone whose DD had got very disappointing 6/7's instead of 8/9's. Very depressing to read but as others have said I decided that cannot be true for the country as a whole. Many of them, most of them will be in the 4/5's bracket.

You just have to put on a brave face for her and work out what the next step is. I didn't let my DS see me upset, tbh I was upset at seeing him so upset not because he hadn't fulfilled any of MY dreams - that's just not fair although I do understand those thoughts flitting through your mind.

Dd has just got into an RG uni with a btec. She is going to the top uni for her course. Slightly different as its vocational. My niece did computer science with a btec.

Just as a point of reference re remarks if you go down that route - papers are only remarked if out of tolerance. This can be up to 15 marks on some papers so don’t get your hopes up going down that road.

Not even that anymore giant

The guidance we had from the board is they are not offering remarks at all. People can apply for a review of marking. It is not a remark and they've instructed All centres to make this very clear. All that will happen is someone will check the mark scheme has been applied reasonably.
So if a marker has messed up (e.g. said there is a rubric infringement so capped it but actually on second look it wasn't an infringement) then things will change but if a second person might personally think 'if have put that higher in band 3' then the mark doesn't change as the mark scheme has been applied fairly.

I think parents and staff need to be really clear that there is no such thing as a remark anymore.

I don’t understand your post Giantpandasattack.

Yes but maisy literally 100s of marks went up last year in GCSE English. It was infamous. I am sure it will be more under control this year...

I would want to know what went wrong too. The old GCSEs had two or three tiers of papers. If you weren't put in for the higher paper you couldn't get the top grade. Could this have happened to your DD? Back in the day you normally got 1-2 grades above your predicted grades for GCSES.

I actually meant to put 1000s there....

LARLARLAND
I think they might be getting at the same thing as I've just posted but I'm not sure.

Old system:

• not happy with mark or think it's lower than whatt you expected = put it in for a remark and chance your arm to see what happens. It's worth a shot.

New system:
Remarks do not exist. Parents and centres can't request a remark.
You can request a review of marking which checks the mark scheme has been applied but that is it.
If there are issues witj how the mark scheme has been used it will be subject to further review and eventually marking by a senior examiner.
But if examiner A said it was low band 3 but second look would have said high band 3 then notjing changes because the mark scheme has been applied fairly and that is minor difference of opinion.

Some parents (and teachers that I'm aware of) still speak of putting things in for remarks. There's a thread on here about people putting in for remarks because their DC got an 8 and they want to see if they can get the 9. Total misinformation.

Piggywaspushed
It was a bloody cockup last year (but then I'm aware of different examiner for the same.spec giving different advice to people in different areas of the country too. It was predictable)

I just think we have to be clear when talking to parents that the old system of 'apply for a remark' isn't a thing. It is a review of marking people need to be aware they are different.

Maisypops exactly. I'm an examiner as well as an English teacher. every one of my students got more or less the same mark in the exam as I'd given them in the mock. There was literally only one student who surprised me with their exam result. That may well be because of the particular extracts in the exam. What I do know is that English exam marking was more closely checked and ran much more smoothly than last year so I really don't see much change on the grades.

Maisy Under the new system do you think it’s still worth asking for a review where, like in my DS’ case he’s missed the higher grade by one, two and and three raw marks in three subjects which are essay based?