GCSEs 2018 (16) - The Final Countdown

[mmzz]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3304925-gcses-2018-15-the-reckoning?

Maybe he needs to be faced with the actual choice. I’m sure he will get the grades he needs but at the moment it’s a theoretical decision, not a real one (if that makes sense). Next Thursday it will become real and he’ll have to jump one way or the other. My guess is that he’ll take a deep breath and make the move.

Also worry about the handwriting, but it seems at so many have awful writing it will be ok!

Wasn't really worried about GCSE results at all as we had A level results coming. But then DS (16) said to DD after her great A level results " you've never not got an A* have you!" And I thought I hope he isn't feeling pressure to get the same grades as her. I always thought it was be easier that he got numbers but she got letters, but I think they convert the results. I just reminded them of DDs B in GCSE dance.

mmmz maybe focus a bit less on coping with change - that is may making him feel its a bigger change than he already thought - and just focus on the pros and cons. It is still a school after all so maybe some things won't be that different.

I read on a different site about a child who had self studied one A levels, got 5 x A* (Maths, FM, another maths of some type, Physics and Chemistry) but didn't get into Cambridge because he didn't get a STEP 1 level only(!) STEP 2. That is how competitive some courses are. Imagine being in that situation.

mmmz - I can understand why your DS would feel the way he does but I also think he will thrive at the new school - I am not sure whether you are in a situation to say - give it a term and see how you get on (At DD's school a fair few think the grass is greener and return at October HT).

I wasnt too worried about the GCSE's (I knew that DD hadnt really studied too hard during yr 9/10/11 especially in subjects she didn't enjoy although I think she revise fairly well). I think there is less pressure if you have a middle of the road DC - I know DD is going to pass Maths and English at given standard and was going to get the grades for A level subjects (until she changed her mind to opt for Chemistry!)...but then again I could be wrong.

I was delighted to see the results on the A level thread but I too think that it will be head down from day 1 with my DD if she wants to do medicine - but I'm also totally laid back what ever she decides to do as long as she is happy...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=6nmXrSvewRA

Worth a watch if you are worried about your child overcoming difficulties or just worried. I know not all kids will become successful authors and it will be much harder for others due to their difficulties but this is Jonathan Mooney talking about his dyslexia and ADHD and how school was really difficult.

Clearly he is able and also good at sport which is always helpful (I can’t catch a ball).

Ds can see that the new school is the better one academically and for that reason he's thinking that he'll probably go there if he gets the results.
What he won't accept is that there is a fair chance that it will be better socially too. And it's not as if socially the current school would pass any normal test of acceptable given that he was bullied for three years and then mostly left out of things for the next 2. So we aren't talking about strong friendships that would be a string pull to stay at the current school.
My fear is that unless DS can op pen his mind to the possibility that socially things will not be even worse for him at the new school, then he'll either wobble on the 23rd and not register, or, more likely start the new school so scared of being rejected that he will put his defences up and not talk to anyone, even if they approach him.

mmzz I did have a bit of an aargh! Moment at your description of DH's talk. Good intentions, though, I'm sure. Both my Dcs just shut off when MiL tries to talk to them about education!
Is there anything on the sixth form's website about extra curricular things that DS could look forward to and that aren't at his current school?

mmmz - my feeling is that the nature of the school will ensure that the DC's interact because its more than just a school studying subjects ...the DC;'s will naturally interact during lessons - its a school that has a passion to educate beyond the A level syllabus (My friends DD was a TOTAL introvert and she blossomed at the school).

I think boys form greater bonds when they get older as well and sixth form lends itself to this. So a better social experience may come to him in sixth form anyway wherever he is. DS has always been popular and gets on with everyone but never really had individual friendships or friendship groups and never really met up outside of school. Bonds started to develop through GCSEs and I m hoping that will continue/develop further in sixth form

I recognise the school your DS is hopefully moving to mzzz. Funnily enough a fellow MNer directed me to it yesterday. Her DS had gone there and got amazing results and is off to Oxbridge. I'm rather jealous we don't have that sort of sixth form nearby! Your DS will obviously thrive there, it's clear to you and me but so hard to convince him.

My 3 DSs will have all moved from their school to a new sixth form environment, three different sixth forms in fact. Perhaps you could suggest that (like them) others that are moving to this school will have struggled with friendships, will have been considered quirky or geeky in their mainstream schools and will be dying to make better, more like minded friends.

We all know that there will be freaks, geeks and nerdy types that our DC will bond with at their 6th forms (and obviously the sporty one, the gorgeous one, the talented one...to make it sound more like the Breakfast Club), because we have the benefit of life experience. Unfortunately our DC have spent the last 5, 9 or 12 years with the same bunch of others growing up alongside them. You may dislike Jocasta, but at least you know Jocasta's foibles and how to deal with them.

I think there are going to be a few more "moving on" wobbles over the next 2-3 weeks. We have to apply classic change management techniques - overcoming any resistance to change with good reasons for the change, listening to their fears, supporting them and talking all the good stuff that's about to happen.

I don't like the sound of Jocasta [misses point]

I love that video peggy - it was moving, inspirational and funny. I might have to bookmark it ready for next Thursday!

DD has a slightly different worry about sixth form. For secondary, she chose to go to a different school from the usual catchment one, but they all feed into the same couple of sixth forms, so she’ll be back with kids she last knew in primary, after a five -year gap.

She’s not sure how that will pan out - I think she quite enjoyed reinventing herself at 11 and doesn’t want to revert to primary Class Clown.

Oh dear hmc I was sure your DC was called Tarquin, not Jocasta!

Oh, the beautiful people, I never quite got on with them either.

mmmz I wonder if your DS is worried about being disappointed/disappointing you if the social side doesn't seem much better? Maybe just concentrate on the things he also see like its better academically, so he doesn't feel pressure to suddenly develop a great social life?

DD still enjoying NCS got message from DF to say she was all good.when he picked her up today....the group are supporting a homeless charity with their social action task and planning a nights street sleeping next week (EEK)...I know the area of the homeless charity group and I'm crossing fingers toes and anything else that there will be someone responsible overseeing this....surely they would not allow 16yr olds sleeping out alone in a very seedy part of town (drugs/prostitution etc).

Mmmz im wondering about if trying to persuade is triggering resistance? Maybe none of you know what is going to happen Thursday so just do something (anything) else until you have a least a few more variables in the equation?

I have a DC who hates making decisions. Is it agony? Yes. Does she sometimes say I shouldn't have let her decide X or Y? Yes

I try to support her decision making in the "right" direction rather than persuade as otherwise she digs heels in.

Argh. I feel for you.

Oneteen Are you sure they won't just be sleeping out in a nice area near their hubsite? I think our NCS programme was falling over themselves with all the safeguarding hurdles they had to climb.

Not sure stickerrocks I will wait to see DD on Monday to find out ...their hub would be difficult its MK Dons Football stadium which also has a hotel within the ground - unless they plan on extracting money from hotel guests?

I think its a shame mmmz that the school do not offer a 3 day induction ...DD's back up school did and whilst DD questioned "Why 3 days?" It gave her enough time to know it was not the school for her...she also had several lessons with each teacher too. TBH whilst if I was your DS's parent I would be gutted at the missed opportunity (personal and intellectual) I think you know your DS will do really well with A levels at his present school so if he really wants to stay on where he is then I go with the flow - its much better to have a happier DC doing important exams than a disgruntled one.

Just wanted to wish everyone on this thread the best of luck for next Thursday. I am hoping to be able to follow this thread from France (we leave on Sunday for a bit over a week), but not sure how easy that is going to be, so posting now.
Not my ideal time to take a holiday, to be honest, but the rule is, we take holidays when the respite home is able to take DS1, and this was the week we were offered (after they initially only offered us a week at the end of July that clashed with DDs already organised and booked birthday party - we had asked for August, not late July, a fact the respite home had somehow managed to overlook, so it ended up phoning around to see if another family were prepared to swap and we finally got offered this week!)
At least DS2 is only getting two GCSE results, and his school always gets them to collect results by giving them a login to bromcom. Bromcom is then unlocked and the results made available at 6am on the day (it did that for the A Level results yesterday as well, so everbody who wanted to knew their grades by 6.05am). That means, so long as the connection works, DS2 will be able to collect his results remotely at what is the slightly more civilised hour of 7am in France, and knowing the kind of person DS2 is, he will no doubt log in at precisely that time, and I will know by his facial expression at around 6.01 English time whether he has got the As he wanted or something lower (he got A and a high B in the mocks, so the second A* is certainly not in the bag. He really wants it though, even if it may not be that realistic, and he did really work after the mock result, so I am hoping, perhaps against hope).
Don't know if I will be able to post though, even if he has managed what he wants.

Today is DS2's last day at summer school. He says he has made friends enough to have people to eat lunch with, but will probably not keep in touch with any of them (although he might bump into one or two at interviews in 16 months time).

As it's their last day, they decided to wear pyjamas / onesies... Physics geeks certainly know how to party!

I put my foot down about DS2 wearing pyjamas / onesie on the tube (he is socially vulnerable enough as it is) so he took the stuff with him to change into when he got there.