Stolen from the I Know I Need To Stop Talking blog but thought if might raise a smile 
"This is Mrs May.
Mrs May sits with her pint of pina colada and reminisces through misty eyes, back to when fronted adverbials were still but an imaginary and pointless concept in the eyes of the infant Michael Gove, back to when one called a spade a spade, and back to when there was none of this newfangled GCSE knowledge and you sat good old-fashioned O Levels and CSEs.
Mrs May remembers waiting for her exam results, certain that the world was going to end if she didn't achieve her predicted grade in CSE Metalwork.
Mrs May did so without once giving a thought to how her CSE Metalwork teachers might have been feeling on the self-same results day.
Frankly, back when she was a mere slip of a girl, Mrs May was convinced that teachers were all in cahoots with the exam boards, that they were all out to get these poor, hard-working students, who had studied so desperately hard and whose very future felt like it hung on what the number or letter against their name would say.
Now Mrs May is much older, and much wiser, and much less of a slip of a girl (but still a dab hand at metalwork), and Mrs May has learnt a number of things:
#1 The only body which is in cahoots with any other body when it comes to exams is the Government, with itself, appearing to take delight in applying undue pressures to students, teachers and parents alike.
#2 The pressure Mrs May felt as a student, waiting to receive her exam grades, is absolutely nothing compared to the pressure she now feels as a teacher, waiting to hear how her students have done in their exams. And Mrs May only teaches Year 2 SATS, where provided her class can write their name coherently and don't shit on the exam paper, she can probably get them through it. Imagine the pressures of teaching GCSE! Or A Level! There are not too many careers out there where your entire year of effort is judged on one single day. Teaching is one such career.
#3 Exam results don't matter. They really don't, not in the grand scheme of things. Of course, Mrs May knows that it is important to work hard for exams, and try your best, and not lose your shit when the Government decide to throw in yet another curveball and change the syllabus yet again because they are all bastard cockwombles... but Mrs May also knows that, more years than she cares to remember down the line, the grade she got for CSE Metalwork really doesn't matter any more. (It was a 1, for what it's worth, and Mrs May is still exceedingly proud of that 1. CSE Metalwork has turned out to be surprisingly useful in later life.) Exam grades, and fancy job titles, and the ability to know which set of cutlery to use at a twelve course dinner, matter far less than what is inside you, both in terms of internal organs and also in terms of how you treat other people and the difference you go out and make in the world.
And so to students, parents, and teachers alike, Mrs May would like to send you all an enormous hug and vat of gin just for getting through sodding exam season, let alone achieving any grades. If you did well, congratulations, and if you didn't do so well, then Mrs May recommends that you forget all about it by tearing up your exam results and putting on a jolly old play to celebrate"