GCSEs 2018 (14): the aftermath

[mmzz]

Following on from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3275972-GCSEs-2018-13-Untwisting-our-knickers-lucky-for-some

Well, we didn't know the other families & it would have been a crush. Their princess frocks (mega silk numbers) would have got squashed!)

We're off on Sunday, but we're going to Cornwall tomorrow f8rst. I'm building up a big pile of stuff in the corner of my office as I think about it. I think Norway will be cooler & gloomier than here.

NCS - I honestly think that there will be such a mix of DC there that our DC will find people they get on with , whether they are male, female, sporty, geeky or just shy. My BiL was a leader a couple of years ago and they work so hard to mix everyone and make them feel comfortable. They understand how daunting it is. With you DD'S mental health issues though, I would ensure they know she is vulnerable.

Oddsocks I'd put the prom and her so called friends behind you and concentrate on making sure she has a great summer, she already has NCS to look forward to and hopefully make new friends, what about getting a part time job or voluntary work anything that will boost her confidence and make her see the world is a bigger place than just her school.

mmzz I'd think in your situation I'd be saying its not fair on the boys so I'll take them away for a week and make sure the place has wifi so you can still do some work

Bluebelle I'd love to do that but I think DH might just see through it! To be fair, he's right, we do have a lot to do in the next few months.

The MIL bit probably needs done too, but it's not much of a holiday, even for DH who still calls her house "home", even though it's just where she retired to.

Oddsocks how sad for your DD. My DD decided not to go to Prom as she said everyone would be judging what she wore etc, teens can be so hurtful.

DD is at induction for second choice Sixth Form for next four days. It's a beast to get to so DH has taken her this morning and she is attempting to get the bus home. It's an area she doesn't know at all (we live in between Milton Keynes and Northampton, school is in a suburb of Northampton but we never go to Northampton so I am expecting a phone call to say she can't find the bus stop!). She's going for a meal on Friday with friends and onto one of the Prom after parties, but no Prom here.

Going to Menorca on Monday for a weeks holiday with DD, DH and DD's best friend from dancing.

DS2 is at induction for 1st choice sixth form today. It's at his current school and is preceded by book return day, so he is carrying eight textbooks to school (not great for a child with hypermobile joints).

The induction at 3rd choice sixth form starts today and then continues tomorrow (so he can only go to the second day). He has to wear a suit for that one.

Jufus are you hoping your DD won't end up going to that school in September if its hard to get to?
When did you realise that your home was not well-located for good school's beyond primary? For me, it was when DS2 was in year 2 (so DS1 was in year 4). Something happened with DS2 that made me realise that I couldn't ignore the fact that their primary was not ok any longer ( and btw OFSTED had got it spot on). So, I decided to try to find a new primary, and that would mean moving home. However, if I was going to do that I should make sure that I didn't have to do it again for secondary school. The search broadened and broadened. I basically looked at almost every outstanding secondary in Kent, West Sussex, East Sussex, Surrey and Berkshire. There's plenty of outstanding secondaries, but not with a good primary nearby that happened to have two spare spaces in years 4 and 2. Eventually, I managed it, but really it was sheer luck.
I've been through other stressful things, some with bigger consequences than that, but that period when I was trying to coordinate a house move with that school search was the most challenging. The problem is that the more I tried, the more I thought about it, and the more I was determined to get the boys into good schools.

mmzz we actually moved from MK to our village for better schooling, DD's secondary school was the very best in the area when we moved. It went downhill rapidly in year 9 when the Swedish Academy Sponsor pulled out. We are fairly rural and there are no other schools nearby.
She had a fantastic primary school on the upside.

If she has to go to second choice Sixth Form we will live with it, buses are possible from the next so I would just drive her there. First choice Sixth Form in MK is a hideous journey in the opposite direction to where I work, but she will stay in MK on Mon/Tue evenings with dance friend and the Mum will take her to dance (they live very close to the school). We have looked to moving back to MK but it's so expensive there now, although I would very much like to go back.

mmzz look at my hideous journey to first choice sixth form then to work! ughrhhh

I count myself very lucky with a 10 minute drive to DS and DD1 school and they can get the train and school mini bus from the station if needs be. DD2 was 15 minutes the other way. That was just pure luck and not planning in that we happen to live close to a school that suited them both and doubly lucky that we could (just about) afford it. We are surrounded by a variety of excellent independent schools and a couple of mediocre state comprehensive so that and a couple of shy sensitive children with spld drive the decision to pay for private.

Evening! DD and I returned from our trip to London last night - no problems with trains for us! Virgin train to London on time, trip to the sky garden which was fab, a quick catch up with my brother, before catching a train from Waterloo to Hampton Court - didn't know I could still use my contactless card, so bought another ticket! Never mind. Met friend from Uni for coffee and café, who then kindly transported us to my sis in laws in Bushy Park. Weather was glorious! Left sunday afternoon and went back to south bank and London Eye area, quick explore around the houses of parliament area, and then back to Euston to get train up north. Decided to upgrade to first class with the weekend upgrade that they do, and they neve came round for the money, so got that for free!!

Prom dresses look fabulous and the boys so smart. Prom here is 11th July so not too long to wait. Hair trial done and worked, dress back from dressmakers getting hem done. So all ready to go.

NCS meet up next tues as well before starting on 23td July - hoping that all goes well.

Waiting for shopping to be delivered - not sure where it is - was a 9.30 to 10:30 delivery and its now 23:10 - Ocado having problems with the heat maybe??!!

@androbbob - sounds like you had a lovely day in London yesterday. I was in the area as well and it was really hot!

DS1 and 1 went suit shopping yesterday and found something nice. I was a bit shocked to find he has exactly the same measurements as DH! It wasn't as stressful as I thought it would be, it would definitely have been if it had involved DD.

It was a bit emotional actually. He looked so grown up and (am I allowed to say it?) just a bit handsome.

sandy yes! I had exactly the same when shopping with DS, who is also the same size as DH Isn't it lovely when they're just sensible and unemotional about clothes. That suit looks nice, properly grown up 👍

@sandybayley from that photo we'll take your word for it - is the suit for 6th form?

androbbob sounds like you had a great time, hope the shoppings arrived and your neighbours aren't tucking into your goodies!

We are shortly off on holiday and I can't wait, I'm hoping its going to be cooler than here! DS has started acquiring clothes for 6th form, he's a definite lounge on the settee whilst internet shopping as opposed to me who still prefers to trawl the shops and try it on before I buy, plus there are no cafe's at home!!

DS's prom is later this week. He's got the suit and we've done our bit but I'm nervous about how it will go. Forget the GCSEs, this is the real challenge. A good outcome would be that he lasts until the end, a great outcome would be that he enjoys it.

@RentalWoes - yes it's for 6th form. Actually DH has just reminded me that he has a smaller collar size than DS1 - 15 v 15.5.

@mmzz - so hoping that the Prom goes well for your DS. I was a bit sad that DS1 didn't have one but hearing everyone's stories I'm secretly a bit relieved.

NCS info evening last night. Parents and DC were split into two rooms, DC did ice breakers, parents told about activities, kit list, pick up times etc. DD was horrible on way to the evening but fairly bright and chatty on way back, so fingers and toes crossed. Stickerrocks thought about mentioning her mental health, but DH had an argument about how we are handling it that i decided to leave it. (DH thinks I'm too soft, I think he is washing his hands of it and leaving it to me to cope with).

Haven't bought any clothes for 6th form, DD can wear smart, casual wear. I see current 6th formers going to school and they wear jeans!

mmzz hope prom goes well for your DS

sandybayley I agree, prom has a horrible experience. So much competition between DC (best mode of transport, ways of sneaking in alcohol, who/how many you kissed, after prom party, awards ceremony by teachers for best dressed etc).....

mmzz - hope your DS enjoys prom ...

DD decided against wearing shorts yesterday (she wore smart cropped trousers) but she has worn them today given that existing girls at the school were wearing them....I dont think she's overly impressed with the Sixth form although she has gone in today from 11.30 till 3pm - I think the intention is to give tomorrow a miss...given that unless anything goes horribly wrong she will stay at present school.

One thing worth noting is that where there is a change in exam board from GCSE to A level...there maybe a few gaps in current knowledge against future syllabus.

That could have been useful to go Teen in that will it give her more confidence in her current school and that she s in the right place

Just popping head round door to let you know I'm still here! Been very bad week not much strength just 2 more treatments but feels like I'm climbing Everest at the moment with no breathing gear. Hopefully this time next week I will join you all again. Hope everyone OK enjoy the sun! Best wishes to all

Sending you very best wishes Sost

That sounds awful, Sost. If its chemo, then it won't get better until its over but you've done really well so far and with your inner strength, you will be able to see it through for those last two treatments.

It will be nice to have you back online. Meantime, take care of yourself.

Sostenueto really hope you feel better soon, it must be horrible coping with the treatment. and hugs. xx

Sost hang on in there my lovely chum! It must be grim for you to be struggling, but with Team Sost behind you, you have more hope of getting through this than England have of winning a penalty shoot out. It could be worse, my DF has just asked my DD if she knows anything about drugs and has her school told her not to take them.

Wishing you well Sostenuto. I hope you are getting help and support IRL. You deserve it!

So - my next challenge is finding a 16th birthday present for DD1. Since there seem to be a lot of like-minded 16yos represented on this thread, ideas would be most welcome. So far, we have a couple of T-shirts from her favourite comic strip (XKCD). These are the only thing on her wish list, and were actually a bit pricey as they came from the US. But a couple of T-shirts doesn't really seem sufficiently momentous for a 16th.

Ideas for off-the-wall gifts likely to be appreciated by science-y, maths-loving, non-conformist daughters would be most welcome.