GCSEs 2018 (14): the aftermath

[mmzz]

Following on from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3275972-GCSEs-2018-13-Untwisting-our-knickers-lucky-for-some

Is she staying on at that school Oddsocks? (Sorry if you’ve already said this...£

kingscote it varies from going to a completely different 6th form, staying on at her current school’s 6th form and studying a levels at home (to avoid social interaction).

OddSocks, that does sound tough, for both you and your DD.

I think everything is thrown into sharp relief with occasions like proms when all the emotions around friendship and fitting in are heightened.

For those who feel secure in their connections, a prom can be the icing on the cake. For those who have been struggling on in less than optimal conditions friendship-wise, a prom can be an excruciating prospect.

I have the impression that those who have the best prom experience are the precocious social butterflies. It sounds like your DD is still in the chrysalis phase and that’s not a bad thing. When she finally emerges, she’ll out-dazzle them all!

We just found out yesterday that an ‘unofficial’ (whatever that means) prom for my DS’s year had been organised and my DS wasn’t invited. It's hard to be a parent and watch all this stuff panning out from the sidelines!

Oddsocks - hugs for you and your daughter. Poor love. Xx

Regarding the number of A Levels taken.....I think quite a few of the RG Unis only consider FM as a 4th A Level. There's quite a bit of information about overlapping subjects. The preference for computer science degrees is to have maths and FM rather than computer science. If you want to do politics they prefer a history A Level. If you want to do Law they prefer English and/or history to a Law A Level. Don't do business studies and economics together because they are too similar etc etc. DD and I sat down to decide the optimal combination to keep her options open. Maths (and poss FM as a 4th), Physics and History (or English) leaves so many doors open (except medicine). Not that she has settled on this combination anyway!!!

No Unis seem to want a 4th A Level unless it's medicine (and it's FM)

At DDs current school she has been accepted to do maths,fm, physics, chemistry and computer science. They then drop one A Level at Xmas (they can also drop FM if they are taking it) But given she doesn't want to do medicine and loathed studying science for the exams she has done a complete rethink

At the 6FC she has put in for maths, computer science, history and graphics and no EPQ.
If she stays at her current school she will do maths,further maths, history and computer science with an EPQ in something related to graphics/computer assisted design

The graphics element is what she does for fun and there's nothing to remember at exam time. History and computer science she loves, but there's no point do CS unless you do maths. So I think she is finally settled. Yay,!!!

Now she just needs the grade......

How settled are your DC?

Hi my DS is settled but only because it fortunately fell into place during gcse study from Christmas onwards. He had a list of subjects he liked of which CS was the favourite then once revision kicked in his maths and physics really improved making them realistic choices to go with the cs and he also realised although he liked some other subjects (history/philosophy etc) he really didn’t enjoy doing exams in them

Oddsocks I totally sympathise with your dd - hugs to both of you.
Cblue looking more settled now - DS think his best combo is maths, biology and psychology and if doing a 4th in y12 it's likely to be philosophy. (Unless the maths result is totally unexpectedly a 9 I don't think he'd consider further maths!)

And I agree the core subjects are more useful for top unis and offer more flexibility if they change tack so would only pick the ‘new’ ones if it’s what they really want to do at a level.

DD2 got a Cambridge offer for Theology with out RS level. IB higher level English and history were considered better preparation

That should say RS A level

Oddsocks been there, done that & I know exactly how you feel. A very good friend asked me who DD had shared transport with on Friday as her DD & chums piled out of their classic car. Unfortunately I was very sharp when I replied that I had taken her myself. It hurts when your DC is the one who appears to be on the fringes. College open days and a trip to see my parents this week will hopefully boost confidence.

When the time comes for Ds I’m going to make sure he & his little group of misfits travel in style in my dad’s E class Merc. I hate the car myself, way too flashy, but it has its uses.

Oddsocks I really feel for your DD.

I am sorry about your DD, Oddsocks. You are probably right about how it went at the prom, but you don't know for sure. She could have just decided to avoid being photographe. I'd hold onto that possibility, if I were you, until you know for sure that she was left out of the fun.

mmzz it could be that she avoided being photographed but sadly i just don’t think that this the case.

stickerrocks photos were full of sports cars, classic cars. Didn’t see the usual limo. DD travelled with friends Dad in their family car.. She has gone to MIL who she loves dearly so hoping she will come back tomorrow a bit happier.

outwiththecrowd hope you are right and she will emerge... this is breaking my heart

Good to have someone in the family she gets in with - I hope she has a good time there

Odd the group DD was going with were all originally being taken by their parents, so DD wasn't going to be the odd one out. Then one of the parents booked a Merc as a treat, but as we don't know them, DD didn't get asked. They were all invited to after prom too. DD was upset, but tried to shrug it off and told anyone who asked that she had to be at work by 9 yesterday. Her other friend that she is building bridges with again went in a horse & carriage with the girl who had organised after prom. DD ended up in one group shot with one of the girls she loaths, so sometimes no pics may be a good thing!

My favourite prom transport at another local school came from a group of half a dozen lads & lasses. They made & painted a limo out of a huge cardboard box or bits of MDF, attached ropes above each fake wheel to sling over their shoulders and then carried their "car" into the queue like one of the cardboard cut outs toddlers pretend to drive in. I'd far rather have that than a £300 vintage tractor they sit in for 10 minutes!

That’s brilliant !

DD decided to go to prom on the day so I took her. 20 minutes before we were due to leave one of her friends turned up without a ticket or an outfit. She was wearing jeans, sweatshirt and trainers.

She said, “Peggy have you got a blouse or shirt I can borrow?”
Our shirts didn’t fit her. We found her a stretchy black lace skater dress one of my girls used to wear in big band, some tights and some flat pumps.

I dropped them off as the official group photo was finishing. When I picked them up she said she had perched between two seats but hid in the loo when the dinner was being served. She ate left over puddings. She had a good time I think/hope. Lots of her peer group were in black.

Her mum is not about. Had I known, I would have bought her a ticket. I did though, find her an outfit in 20 minutes that she would have chosen if I had been able to take her shopping.

Oddsocks I’m sorry your DD found it difficult. It’s a lot of pressure. I think the photos do lie, like a lot of Facebook.

Help...DD has first induction day (back up school) tomorrow and it states business dress but does not have to be a suit until september...DD has decided to wear tailored shorts - see piccy - do you think they will be OK?

@oddsocks I doubt if your DD is worried about being in the photo;s, I completely understand why you would want to see that your DD was having a good time given your concerns about friendship/mental health but if I am correct in thinking she wasnt keen to go ...so you may find she would have avoided photos. Attitude/dagger looks etc sounds like my DD who has frequent moments where she is snapping at anything I say - mood swings can be brought on my anything and everything.

No unusual transport at DD's Prom - it would be considered uncool....so everyone arrived by M or D transport.

Extremely proud of how DD handled NCS yesterday it was certainly a case of being completely out of her comfort zone with 65% of the DC's being boys (she is at an all girls school) and 80% coming from one fairly rough state school where they were all with their friends...BUT she seemed to scored a few brownie points with knowing a lot of answers to the Rap (music) quiz and was labeled as clever because she is taking A Levels.... three weeks in August will certainly be character building.

Teen given the weather we're having down here, I'd let her get away with them and simply be prepared to say she misread the instructions. DD's NCS seems to be all girls with a few geeky lads. Is your cruise next week?

@stickerrocks - Yes we go on the 9th...totally unprepared..although I think DD only needs more pairs of shorts and some new trainers ..you go before us ?

DD said there was just one other girl on her own (NCS), no one from DD's school (no surprise there)...she sat on a table with the other girl and two other girls (friends) and a load of boys - the girls have put each others names down to be together (thankfully)...I think they will have a fun three weeks because there was a lot of banter...DD is very adaptable and well grounded but she will be out of her comfort zone.

I suppose she may be told to wear something different on Tuesday but I cant see them turning her away - I hope not because I will be in Reading!

stickerrocks that is so mean that your DD didn’t get invited to the merc.

teen you are right, she sort of wanted to go the prom, not over keen. Her mental health is certainly a concern, she seemed so happy on Friday (day of prom) and days leading up to it. Sigh, maybe I’m overthinking it all ...

DD is going on NCS soon, hoping it goes okay for her. I’m not concerned about the activities just the social side.

Teenmum I think she may get away with it, but, if at all possible, I'd get her to wear a shift dress or something equally cool but more conventionally business-like.

TBH, I'd be thinking about the first impression on the staff. I'd be looking to avoid the impression that my DC doesn't think the rules apply to them. Probably this just says more about me and my insecurities but that's genuinely what I'd be concerned about.

Well, it looks like I've got a summer of work to look forward to. We had not booked a holiday, and now DH tells me that he doesn't think we can get away due to the business needing us. If we are lucky, we may get a few days at MIL's. How lucky are we?

At least we be got some sunshine to enjoy mmzz. Can you start planning something to look forward to next year. Or for Christmas/ half term as we won’t have any dreaded mocks this year