GCSEs 2018 (13) Untwisting our knickers, lucky for some!

[Stickerrocks]

Thread 12 Link to the thread with our potted histories. Now the end is in sight.

Alexander hugs for you and the family. What an unsettling time for you all

No exam today. DS and I went swimming at 8am then to retail park for Costa breakfast and lots of looking at clothes and even bought a few. Discussed correct trouser length. Then had pub lunch before coming home. DS2 arrived home in a grump - I think it's girl-related - but he's not talking. Quiet night in for the 3 of us. DH home tomorrow but then we'll only have TWO MORE EXAMS (further maths)!!!!

Thanks to all those talking about Uni open days. DS and I had look at the schedule and realised we can go to see Oxford, Cambridge and LSE (his current top choices, mainly based on their name and worldwide ranking) in the next three weeks! That will be a good start to the process. Like some of you, I think he should take a break, but he's dead keen to move on to the next stage. He's such a middle-aged man in lots of ways

Gosh, Alexander what a worrying day. Look after yourself as well as everyone else.

DS1 is in his 2nd year at Warwick uni. We didn't look at universities until the summer term in Y12. By then he had a good idea of his possible grades and had decided on his degree subject. Many of his friends changed their minds about subject choices once they had spent a couple of terms studying them at A level.

He was predicted all As or A*s so he just looked at Russell group universities and Bath. No London ones, too expensive, (he has the full maintenance loan) and only within around a 150 mile radius to save money on travelling there both for open days and once in situ.

His sixth form arranged visits to the Oxford and Cambridge open days and he decided at that time they weren't going to be for him. Maths in particular is very competitive with higher A level grades required than many other subjects at Oxbridge.

His offers were all AAA except for Warwick which was A A A or A AA with a grade 1 in STEP. Bath's usual offer was AAA so he thought it was too high to have as insurance under Warwick so didn't choose it.

We visited (note we, parents go to most open days these days) Nottingham, Birmingham, Cardiff, Bristol, Bath, Exeter, Southampton and Warwick with DS1 going to Oxford and Cambridge with school. All close enough to do in a day saving hotel bills. DS1 also visited Exeter and Southampton again on offer holder days to try and decide between them for his insurance. I took him to weekend open days and his father took him to some on weekdays. He caught the train by himself for a couple. School was fine with him taking days off for these weekday visits.

Forgot to say we went to open days in June/July Y12 and September/Oct Y13 and offer holder days in Feb/March Y13.

Thanks for the open day link earlier. It hadn't even occurred to me to start thinking that far ahead.

thanks slinky

loose, I look forward to hearing from you next month!

DD planning to sleep all day tomorrow (and watch more youtube/play more minecraft) but I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep well tonight. I had an accident this afternoon which was minor but painful (and embarrassing!). I was leading my Choir in a rehearsal and they were divided into two groups. My colleague was helping with one and I was supporting the other and we then 'swapped'. She was seated on a chair and I had been standing, but when we swapped, she got up from the chair and I had my back to her and the chair, had a few words with the kids and went to sit...

...and landed legs askew (with horrifying view for the group as I was wearing a skirt!) slamming my coccyx (sp?) on the ground. Kids horrified. Stunned silence. Colleagues frozen in shock.

I remember thinking 'gosh that chair's a little lower than I was expecting' on the way down and then ' have I shaved my legs? Did they see my knickers?'

Managed to get control of the pain in choir and put on my 'happy face' and carry on. Colleague distraught for taking the chair with her to the other side of the room. Medical centre at school helped after the rehearsal with some anti-inflammatory gel, ice and nurofen. Have been hobbling about ever since, but now drugs and gel have worn off and I'm so uncomfortable!!

It had better improve by the weekend as we're spending the day in an Elephant Sanctuary, and there's going to be a LOT of walking!

Half expecting a 'chat' with our Safeguarding lead in the near future..."so, can you explain why ChoirKiddie's parents are complaining you revealed yourself to their child yesterday afternoon??"

Oh ouch farang the last time I fell on my coccyx was ice skating. Hoping you feel better with the gel

QUESTION TO ALL: Would you consider to have your university student child living with you to cut costs? Would that be unhealthy? Very common in other countries...

brainmelt not a chance. At least not to save money. I don't think it's a 'proper' university experience. For other reasons, maybe, particularly anxious DC or SN or mature students etc.

farang I've broken my coccyx twice. Agony and nothing to be done with it. Sit on a hardish cushion so your tailbone is 'hanging' off the back of it, or on a stool. Cheap inflatable rubber ring is also useful, especially if you usually sleep on your back.

Ow farangatang !

Alexander and family.

Terf We have been looking a bit at open days too and DS was quite keen to go to Oxford and Cambridge to "see the difference between them." But we are away for Oxford's and Cambridge says it is only for year 12s. On the FAQ bit it says you can't go in year 11. I'm not saying this to mean you can't go, but just wondering if every body thinks it matters and to see if anyone has taking a DC in year 11 (if that makes sense).

We may go to Warwick on Friday. DS thinks he wants to do maths so it was interesting to see your list Ellen.

brainmelt No way! To me, Uni is a stepping stone to living independently. I will strongly push for living in halls during first year in order to make friends and have support while negotiating the new way of life. DS is keen on Cambridge but it's on our doorstep and I'd like him to feel there's no one around 'spying' on him or that he can just run home the minute something is difficult. But I'm a notoriously 'hard' parent

drink Educationally I consider DS now to be Y12! The "events for younger students" are not appropriate to him I don't think. As a pp said, if we wait til next year it's quite tight timings before having to actually do the uni application. He'd rather be able to do it at a more leisurely pace. Some of the courses that Cambridge offer during the Y12 holidays look great as well! So we might find out about those.

If you fancy a coffee in Cambridge let me know

Ouch farangatang. Hope the pain settles soon. Take it easy.

brainmelt no, I wouldn’t consider that. As Ellen says it would be a totally different experience. I take your point that it’s more common in other countries, but I think the DC do some real growing up at university, while still unfettered by responsibilities. I’m struggling to put into words how valuable I found it, and how much it changed me, but I wouldn’t want my DC to miss out on the experience. Plus it was a lot of fun!

Would you consider to have your university student child living with you to cut costs?

I might do, if they really really wanted to. But I think of my mother who stayed at home for University and really regretted it. She definitely felt she missed out by not going away and that feeling stayed with her for her whole life. She positively encouraged me to fly the nest and go somewhere that would make it difficult to pop home if things got tough, and I think she was right.

I stayed at home when at university. The reason was because no one in my family knew that not doing so was a thing. Before going to university, I thought Halls of Residence were for people who did not have a university on their doorsteps.

I had more money than most of the students around me, and when I did leave home, the budgeting wasn't hard to learn (hard to live with but not hard to learn!), However, everyone I know who went to university tells me that I missed out. Probably I did, but you don't miss what you never had.

mmzz, my dad tried to persuade me to choose locally, two good universities on our doorstep. I put them on my UCCA form but had an overnight stay at a third uni as part of my interview, then stayed with some friends for a weekend at their uni and fell in love with the idea of living away. Absolutely loved it!

I stayed a home during Uni (In London) and had a wail of a time
DD said that if she doesn't get into a US Uni or Oxbridge (not likely after these GCSEs) then she also wants to stay home and go to one of the London Unis
I have told her that I will continue paying the same amount as I currently do in school fees so she can leave without a student loan.
She's not daft whereas I probably am!!!!

Alexander, how worrying for you

Farang, oh no, poor you, and even though it must have been awful and incredibly painful, your description made me laugh (in the same awkward way you do when someone trips up in front of you0

So much to read and catch up with

We are almost ready for the next stage of the journey and very interesting reading all the advice about universities.

It can also be beneficial to attend one of the UCAS Fairs, although I am not sure if there any more scheduled until the Autumn. You get representatives from all the Universities, as well as Apprenticeship providers - which are interesting in themselves.

I would echo the advice to narrow down the options by course, distance and campus v city.

I would love to be a fly on the wall when Sost's DGD finds out about her weekend treat, it will be a trip to remember for ever

Last exam tomorrow and DD has gathered together all her text books to take back to school. She has a hair appointment booked for Monday to have an 'ombre', she's wanted it for ages but because of school rules its never been an option, so she can enjoy it until September and then have a hair cut!!

D of E expedition next weekend and then one last day at school for an EPQ introduction day

Where did the time go

My decision was made for me by my parents. I didn't want to go to university until I was 18, but the university wrote offering me an unconditional place (long story), so that was that. I was still 16 at the time. My parents said i could either leave school and get a job or leave school and take up the place at university, but either way, I had to leave school (and staying on with my friends was what i wanted).

So, i left and went to the local university and had a great time. Maybe i'd have had an even better time if I'd lived in halls, but I didn't.

DS/we won’t be doing any open days this summer. He’s not 100% sure what he wants to study yet, and even if he was that can, and often does, change over the course of Y12. They’re also really packed usually to the point where it can be really quite difficult to move around and get into the various talks. In all honesty, I don’t think they’re meant to be for Y11s and I think them being there just adds to the overcrowding. Plus, some have a limit on numbers and for those that ‘sell out’, a Y11 would be taking a place that a Y12 could have had. Sorry not meant to be a dig at those of you planning to go.

Where Oxbridge is concerned, it’s possible to visit outside of the open days at almost any time, and pretty much all the colleges will allow prospective candidates (and a parent) to look around without paying the usual fee. There’s a ton of information on the university/college/faculty websites too. The taster days some of the colleges hold for Y12s are fantastic. DD went to one at Oxford and one at Cambridge where she attended seminars held by subject tutors and there was lots of time for Q&A etc. I’d say they’re far more informative than the open days, mainly because you can actually get near someone to ask a question! For those of you with DC at independent schools, most of them are for state school pupils only so you have to dig around for the ones open to all and then get in quick to bag a space. They tend to go quickly.

Apart from the freedom of living away from home, and the budgeting, I don't know what else you learn living away.
I was a girl who grew up in a traditional family in the 70s so cooking, baking, sewing, knitting, cleaning, ironing, decorating etc were all things I had been doing for years by the time I was DS's age.

DS2's school (where he hopes to attend sixth form) has a scheme where students can bring in a Chromebook (which can be bought through the school at a discount) or similar device.

DS2 can touch type accurately and quickly, but finds it difficult to write legibly at speed (and painful to write for extended periods of time).

He is considering making his A-level class notes on his chromebook rather than handwriting them, which seems sensible. However, this might be tricky for Maths and Further Maths.

We're thinking of buying him some (reasonably-priced) software for typing equations that he could try out over the summer to familiarise himself with it. Does anyone have any recommendations?

mmzz at the risk of sounding like a terrible cliche, I think I learned who I really was. Or started to. I think we all sort of fall into a role, at school and at home, which has grown up over 18 years but which doesn’t totally reflect what we really are or have become. There are too many hangovers from our younger selves and how we were perceived then, and perceived ourselves. Going away to uni, where you usually know no one, lets you leave those bits behind. It’s not exactly re-inventing yourself, it’s more uncovering what you’ve become and what you want to become. If that makes sense. Probably not! I’m sure that doesn’t apply to everyone, but it definitely was true for me.

I think I’d better have a glass of !

farangatang that does sound painful......hope no one was filming!

Uni advice can't really add to all the brilliant advice already given our approach was much more chaotic so I have been taking notes as well.....the only thing I wished we had done was either bought a rail card or booked open days far enough in advance that you can take advantge of cheap fares......you can end up spending a fortune if like my DD there was no limit on distance!!

@adrinkofwater thank you for your earlier advice.

Oh there is no way I would want my DC staying at home whilst at uni if they were anything like me when I went

Cherryburn I can definitely identify with that! Having said that, I would really leave it up to DS. I suspect he'd like to spread his wings a bit, though!
Farang oh my goodness that must be really painful. I'm glad you can see the funny side and hope you feel much better by tomorrow!

TheThird This is the only thing I know of: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaTeX

DS has not tried it yet, but I had a search and it was all i could find. I've been thinking that eventually DS will have to learn to use it. If you find a better solution, would you please let me know?