user, a few observations:
-Recent social science shows that education is not the main key to social mobility after all (causation is not correlation.) It matters, but not as much as the structure of the labour market, unions, etc.
-Education is clearly very important for democracy and civic life.
-The private school posters on here are by and large people with means who have a keen interest in education: it's their "thing," they are obsessed and willing to pay for it (I have neighbours who send their kids to the local state school and buy fast cars instead, that's their "thing.") Some posters may have so much money that they don't have to make choices, but a lot of us do. You are reading the opinions of a very particular subset of people who are so interested in education that they want to talk about it on chat-rooms and will spend all their discretionary income on it.
-Schools do reflect the collective culture of the families that feed into them.
-I sent my DC to state school for primary, my keen interest and engagement did not change things. I was very frustrated. Frankly, other parents did not want what I wanted and had very different ideas to me. I can now buy into a school where I see eye-to-eye with the other parents and the teachers. It's swinging, but I am finally happy.
-Technical education is disappointing, and I am cynical about it. I just sat on a selection panel at work to choose apprenticeship providers, so that we can use our apprenticeship levy. What a joke. I was disgusted. Basically, the apprentices are supposed to get 20% off the job learning. You might think this is a day in a classroom setting or with a tutor. You would be wrong. The money (set by government "frameworks" similar to uni fees) gets funnelled into the "providers." They then nag and cajole the apprentices to log any "self-directed" learning into one of their computer tracking systems so they can prove the 20% off the job learning. Apprentices also are given a one hour to 90 minute call a month by a "coach." How crap is that? What I have learned from this is: there is a whole education industrial complex funnelling funds away from the children and young people into the pockets of managers and facilitators and not providing much substantive value.
It's a really difficult problem. You want answers for how to make things better for your boys. I don't blame you. From where you sit now, you are committed and caring, but you can change things on your own. Problem is, you only have one shot for your boys and the clock is ticking. It's understandable that parents who are able to opt out sometimes do.
Given how hard it is to change the whole system which I now realise is a lot larger than the "teeth" that most people see; it's also a long "tail" of bureaucracy and quangos, and consultants, and providers, etc. perhaps we need more radical answers. I've always thought that "vouchers" were right-wing lunacy. Now I think they might be a brilliant way to give parents real power and cut all the educational-charlatans out of the pictures in one fell swoop.