Sent a note with daughter and coat still got confiscated

[Lionness2020]

My daughter started in Year 7 BullersWood on Wed 6th Sept.
She came home after her first day excited to show me her new books and weekly planner. We sat down together to read through it, I had to sign parent/teacher contract and then we went on to read the school policies and rules.
Whilst reading I came to realize that now I need to buy my daughter a black coat! This isn't an issue....I will buy a black coat ( I just need some time to do this).
She left for school on Thursday with her current coat (purple I might add, I know its bright, but it was that or pink!) and I sent a note with her explaining the situation to giver to her teacher, my daughter got to the school gates and took her coat off and put it in her bag and never gave the note in I found out later that evening....my assumption here is that she was scared she may get disciplined or that it was a hot day and she didn't need a coat.
Come Friday morning, its raining and daughter decides she's going to wear the purple coat as it's waterproof (it was raining most of the day on Fri, I think i saw the sun come out around 3oClock), so again I wrote a note for her to hand to the teacher.
Now this is info I have managed to gather from my DD.......She was going into morning registration, as they were filing into class, the headteacher of Yr7 has stopped her about her coat (according to my daughter her office is opposite her form room). So, daughter says she has a note, hands it over, head of year reads it and say "how sweet, I will have to confiscate your coat and you can have it back at the end of the day, as it's breaking school rules".
I was absolutely astounded by this, I can't believe my daughter had no coat to wear during break/lunch on a cold/rainy day!
Where was the health, safety and well-being of my child?
Not a happy mum!
I will be making an appointment to see the headteacher.

I don't think Dd leaves the school building during breaks/lunch. She doesn't take a coat as she has no locker and nowhere to put it during the day. I see very few pupils with coats even in winter.

Much more reasonable to allow a few days' grace to sort out another coat
Yes for that one child. But then the other 800 point out to their parents that they would like a purple or pink coat and it's "allowed" and in fact the behaviour policy also says black shoes but since they allow purple coats for some, why not purple shoes.

To be fair to the OP and in response to the poster above who questioned the weather, i was in Bromley in Thursday and it was indeed pretty wet.

However, I do think it pretty unfair to complain that the school shop didnt try and sell you a coat; as has been said before most secondary pupils wouldn't be seen dead in one, even if there is snow on the ground. And it is definitely your responsibility to check the uniform policy.

YABU.

How ridiculous!! A coat shouldn't even be a part of uniform. Wether the coat is black or purple this shouldn't affect any childs ability to learn. I honestly feel that some schools are more concerned about uniform than things that actually bloody matter!!

What amazes me most is the teachers reply to the note? How sweet? That's actually disgusting and very sarcastic and surely isn't the way to speak around children.
Clearly your note has been disregarded! They should have let your daughter just wear the coat untill you got a new one.

Hope you get this matter resolved!

I did not check schools website for uniform policy.

then you were setting your daughter up for trouble

My complaint is I sent a not in explaining the situation and it was completely disregarded

why did you think that your note would over ride school rules and policy?

YABU don't blame the school, it is your fault for failing to check the uniform list properly unfortunately your daughter then had to pay the price.

If the school allowed every child to wear items against the uniform policy because mum sent in a note, where does it end? "My daughter has to wear jeans because I can't get her a new skirt yet" "my son has to wear a hoodie because he's lost his jumper and I can't get to the shop till the weekend"
School rules start with uniform and if those get bent then the kids get the idea that any rules can be bent then you start getting behaviour problems, poor learning etc etc.

Lots of schools however do have spare clothing/unclaimed lost property for the kids to wear if they come in the wrong thing (my fave being the nasty old plimsoles for those who come in the wrong shoes!)

One day where she gets a bit damp isn't going to kill her.

If you don't like the rules, then move her to another school. They have to be strict and not allow exceptions otherwise they will have to bend the rules for everyone; allow trainers, make up, different hairstyles. I don't think you are setting a great example to your daughter (or are any of the sad face parents in the news, complaining that their children are being punished for not following rules. There are rules in life and we have to follow them.

I have two who are at different secondarys.there are areas/classrooms allowed to go so arent forced out in rain at both.dd (a girls dchool) has black coat policy.other colours are confiscated.ds school insist no ciats once inside grounds just the academy blazer(er.wet coats have go into school bags (which school provide with logo of school on )as come in gates....now thats bloody stupid)you mustve check policy fir shoes/socks etc surely and coats wouldve been in similar place

I wouldn't send my kids to a school with a black coat policy.

It's just bloody dangerous. Why on earth would you be forcing kids to wear a dark coat during winter rather than something bright and visible - did 30 years of road safety advice just pass these schools by?

Your being unreasonable to make a complaint, you picked a school with a uniform and you didn't read the uniform list. They gave her the coat back at the end of the day. A child isn't going to melt to have no coat at lunch time, she probably just stayed in the dining hall.

You can't have a uniform and then let one child run around breaking the rules otherwise other children will start breaking the rules as well. Parents sending in little notes in to excuse their snowflakes from things are pretty much in the past.

You can put some Hi-Viz strips in the bag when its dark. If your worried your DC forget how to walk on pavements.

Fresh I think you're missing the point. These parents don't want solutions of how things could be done within the parameters of the school rules. They want to do as they please. HTH

Children in purple coats are proven to be twice as likely to end up in jail as adults.

True fact.

How petty!

Did she melt in the rain then?

Things dissolve in the rain, insancerre. Didn't they teach you that at your school?

YANBU OP. It's pathetic.

TBH I don't know many kids who wear coats to secondary school.

Why the outrage about schools having coats as part of the uniform? Most secondaries used to when I was growing up.

And as so many are dropped off and picked up by car, there is little risk of being run over.

You can put some Hi-Viz strips in the bag when its dark. If your worried your DC forget how to walk on pavements.

Nah, I'll just send them to schools that prioritse safety and comfort over someone's idea of smartness.

Just like in the adult world, uniforms should be safe and fit for use.

Regardless of my personal feelings on stiplating coat colour (namely, i couldn't care less as long as it is practical):

1. You didn't check the uniform policy when buying uniform
2. The coat seems to be 'black', not single supplier so it's not the uniform shop's responsibility to tell you.
3. They gave the coat back at the end of the day so she had it for the way home.At breaks/lunches there are dining halls and indoor spaces students can go at secondary.

You've accepted you made a mistake and are going to fix it. You would be unreasonable to complain.

But, it's a uniform thread in September so there'll be choruses of people shouting about how coats don't affect learning, schools are bullies etc.

I understand that school uniform policy should be followed but I don't see how the policy can extend to a coat. That's ridiculous! Why does the school dictate what coat children can wear?

And as so many are dropped off and picked up by car, there is little risk of being run over

Maybe where you are, but going to school I had a 20 minute walk, 11 minute train ride, and another 30 minute walk across town - most kids walked to school in fact. Luckily my school was relatively forward thinking, and whilst the uniform specified many things (down to the colour of socks), they actually advised that children wore coats with reflective strips, in visible colours, because that's sensible.

Umbrellas are more common amongst girls. The boys can hardly be forced to wear coats when its raining.

Oh the humanity of wanting everyone to wear the same, its like N.Korea.

It's utter bollocks and I really judge those defending it unquestioningly and wonder if you apply such a lack of critical thinking to all areas of your life?

Personally I would have made sure dd had a black coat as being "different" is not an option for a child with intense anxiety due to autism. That doesn't mean I think it's a reasonable rule to implement though. Dark coats on children going home alone at night. Someone explain how that makes an iota of sense?

As for black coats, I used to walk the best part of two miles along dark lanes for the bus. I work a high viz coat and the school never complained.

My daughter's school has similar coat rules.

It has to be be black or navy, unbranded, hooded and an actual coat not a jacket. They cannot wear them inside of school. They also have no lockers or cloakrooms, so they must carry their coat around. Unsurprisingly, most teens decide they won't wear a coat as it's too much hassle.

When they get wet, they get sent home for dry clothes if a parent cannot take time from work to bring them some. DD was brought home four times last year.

A jacket in the wrong colour or which she wears to and from classes will not effect her education. Constantly taking time from class to change into dry clothes will. It's utter madness.

Uniform is supposed to be to prepare them for the world of work, right? Can you imagine the uproar if say, Lloyds Bank, started making demands on their staff's outdoor clothing or demanding they wear sweaters indoors during summer? They'd be sued to high heaven.

Schools are starting to go too far, imo.

You're overreacting. Don't waste the headteacher's time with this.