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Secondary education

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Original poster

Sent a note with daughter and coat still got confiscated

325 replies

Lionness2020 · 09/09/2017 12:25

My daughter started in Year 7 BullersWood on Wed 6th Sept.
She came home after her first day excited to show me her new books and weekly planner. We sat down together to read through it, I had to sign parent/teacher contract and then we went on to read the school policies and rules.
Whilst reading I came to realize that now I need to buy my daughter a black coat! This isn't an issue....I will buy a black coat ( I just need some time to do this).
She left for school on Thursday with her current coat (purple I might add, I know its bright, but it was that or pink!) and I sent a note with her explaining the situation to giver to her teacher, my daughter got to the school gates and took her coat off and put it in her bag and never gave the note in I found out later that evening....my assumption here is that she was scared she may get disciplined or that it was a hot day and she didn't need a coat.
Come Friday morning, its raining and daughter decides she's going to wear the purple coat as it's waterproof (it was raining most of the day on Fri, I think i saw the sun come out around 3oClock), so again I wrote a note for her to hand to the teacher.
Now this is info I have managed to gather from my DD.......She was going into morning registration, as they were filing into class, the headteacher of Yr7 has stopped her about her coat (according to my daughter her office is opposite her form room). So, daughter says she has a note, hands it over, head of year reads it and say "how sweet, I will have to confiscate your coat and you can have it back at the end of the day, as it's breaking school rules".
I was absolutely astounded by this, I can't believe my daughter had no coat to wear during break/lunch on a cold/rainy day!
Where was the health, safety and well-being of my child?
Not a happy mum!
I will be making an appointment to see the headteacher.

OP posts:
fascicle · 10/09/2017 17:45

MSLehrerin
Excellent @fascicle. My three hours at the pile of marking today has dented my attention to detail somewhat, it would appear. Have deducted another merit point for myself. Schoolgirl error eh?

Not sure what effect three hours of marking today would have had on your attention to detail yesterday. OP cited her intention to buy a coat in the first quarter of her first post. Oversights, eh?

Original poster
Lionness2020 · 10/09/2017 17:47

She did say she felt cold and wet.
I know there are areas with shelter around the school and she ain't gonna melt in the rain!
And YES, the fault is mine for not checking uniform but why has my daughter been punished for it?
She can't go buy her own coat!
I said in the note to call me to discuss if needed

OP posts:
MSLehrerin · 10/09/2017 17:55

I was attempting a bit of humour @fascicle......what is this? Pedant's corner? 🙄

LIZS · 10/09/2017 17:57

If they called to discuss every transgression no teaching would take place!

MSLehrerin · 10/09/2017 17:57

She's not been punished @Lionness2020 she had her coat taken from her and, presumably, returned at the end of the day? Surely they wouldn't punish her for something that ultimately wasn't her fault?

TheFallenMadonna · 10/09/2017 18:04

I think it's quite tricky for parents sometimes to adjust to secondary schools dealing with the students primarily rather than their parents. Lateness, uniform issues etc do tend to be raised with the student, which might be different to how things are done in primary.

fascicle · 10/09/2017 18:06

MSLehrerin
I was attempting a bit of humour @fascicle......what is this? Pedant's corner? 🙄

There's some irony here, MSLehrerin. The rules and the fastidiousness with which they are implemented = pedantry. And I was merely pointing out that oversights happen to us all Wink.

MaisyPops · 10/09/2017 18:08

she had her coat taken from her and, presumably, returned at the end of the day? Surely they wouldn't punish her for something that ultimately wasn't her fault?

Exactly.

The thread would still be full of outrage if the child had kept the coat and was given a detention. It would be full of poor thing. How outrageous for the school to sanction uniform rules. It's not her fault. Schools just love to bully children. Some teachers need to get a grip.

It was removed earlier jn the day. She had access to indoor spaces all day. She got tje coat back at the end of the day.
Home made a mistake.
They are fixing it.

Problem solved.

MSLehrerin · 10/09/2017 18:09

School rules aren't exactly pedantry 😃 let's see what happens if we do away with them, shall we?

I'm the mistress of gentle irony, given the fact that sarcasm is now non grata in education.

Original poster
Lionness2020 · 10/09/2017 18:21

@MSLehrerin I understand what your saying and maybe punished ain't the right word to use.
Seriously it feels like a smack in the teeth tho, especially when my daughter is a very polite, well behaved individual.
Lesson learnt!

OP posts:
fascicle · 10/09/2017 18:24

School rules aren't exactly pedantry 😃 let's see what happens if we do away with them, shall we?

I think we're heading into straw man territory with that suggestion. Nobody has proposed dispensing with school rules. The discussion is about the prescriptiveness of some rules/uniform requirements; the rationale for them (or lack thereof) and the degree to which sanctions are implemented for transgressions, without always allowing an opportunity for mistakes to be put right.

MSLehrerin · 10/09/2017 18:29

As far as I'm aware @fascicle no sanctions have been imposed but maybe @Lionness2020 will correct me if I'm wrong on that.

The wee one had the wrong colour of coat, due to OP not reading the correct uniform rules. Coat was confiscated and returned at the end of the day. OP is going to get correct colour of coat now. Problem solved. It's not exactly the Nuremberg Trials is it?

Thirtyrock39 · 10/09/2017 18:29

You need to show your child you support the schools rules. You have to be really strict with the 'little' things in secondary or it all tumbles down like dominoes . There's loads of examples of the academic improvements with schools that enforce uniforms successfully. And at secondary they don't have to be outside on wet playtimes anyway

limitedperiodonly · 10/09/2017 18:36

That's your method MaisyPops and I'm glad it works for you. Other teachers have other methods. You might think they are weak but are too polite to say. They might have an opinion on your ways, but are equally bound by professional courtesy not to give it.

CurryInAHurry · 10/09/2017 18:36

A note does not cancel out school rules.

Don't attempt to go and see the Head. Really, don't.

You needed to have paid attention to the uniform rules earlier.

MaisyPops · 10/09/2017 18:45

I'm open to many methods. There are many excellent colleagues in my school who have different methods to me. The thing we have in common is we uphold the school rules.

Years and years of student voice highlight that students like to know where they stand with staff.

My GCSE students who just left have openly admitted that they deliberately were awkward and pushed the boundaries when I first got them 'because come on miss, that's what we do'. They're right. We all did exactly the same thing when we were kids and we equally came up with a sense of who was worth listening to/working for/behaving for.

To me, if a school has a system (especially when it's so bloody reasonably like ours) & staff chose not to follow it, they are undermining every other member of staff. The behaviour in my class would be good whether I use the new system or don't (zero difference this year so far), but I follow it because it makes life easier for the new teacher down the corridor or the colleague who has a really tricky group this year.

When staff decide that they don't need to bother or will sometimes bother then I do inwardly judge. I think that they are selling out their colleagues and I don't like it.

retreatwhispering · 10/09/2017 20:36

But Maisy why not just have rules that can be enforced consistently and fairly in the first place? WRT clothing: fit for purpose, no offensive slogans. Job done.

Chapwithwings · 11/09/2017 08:20

But retreatwhispering, if the school allowed that kind of individualism how will the pupils grow up to be the unquestioning worker drones that the Government so desperately needs Wink

LadyinCement · 11/09/2017 08:46

At dd's school they have a pool of old uniform which is doled out to transgressors. So wrong trousers/skirt/polo shirt/shoes... no problem -
the Head of Year will hand you a nice creased, bobbly correct item to wear until you can supply your own. Students tend to comply pretty sharpish, especially when faced with wearing a pair of smelly old brogues rather than the trainers they were trying to wear.

paxillin · 11/09/2017 08:55

The value of a parental note about stuff like this at secondary is near zero, unlike at primary. Bit of a shock to the system, but come half term she'll sooner eat a mum-note regarding her clothes than show it to anyone.

Fresh8008 · 11/09/2017 09:19

DD wasn't punished or harmed in anyway but Mum feels she was kicked in the teeth that the head didn't personally call her so it could be explained that DD is well behaved and rules that this shouldn't apply to her.

retreatwhispering · 11/09/2017 10:33

Chap Smile

TotallyReasonable · 11/09/2017 10:50

For starters, why does the school have to be awkward about this, if the child is under the schools care their safety should be the schools number one priority. If it was a rainy day the school had no right confiscating the child's coat simply because of the colour of it especially since mum left a reasonable note explaining that she'd purchase one soon. This disgusts me. Since when has school become so prison like and strict about uniform? Schools are there to educate children not isolate them for not being in uniform. What's more important, a basic dress code or health and education? The child shouldn't have to pay for the parents mistakes. The headteacher, on top of all this should've been more understanding. She shouldn't have read the note and said "how sweet" right before confiscating the coat. It shows she complete neglect and lack of understanding really shitty if you ask me. If this was my kid I would've taken this alot further than a debate on the website Tbf

TotallyReasonable · 11/09/2017 10:52

For starters, why does the school have to be awkward about this, if the child is under the schools care their safety should be the schools number one priority. If it was a rainy day the school had no right confiscating the child's coat simply because of the colour of it especially since mum left a reasonable note explaining that she'd purchase one soon. This disgusts me. Since when has school become so prison like and strict about uniform? Schools are there to educate children not isolate them for not being in uniform. What's more important, a basic dress code or health and education? The child shouldn't have to pay for the parents mistakes. The headteacher, on top of all this should've been more understanding. She shouldn't have read the note and said "how sweet" right before confiscating the coat. It shows she complete neglect and lack of understanding really shitty if you ask me. If this was my kid I would've taken this alot further than a debate on the website Tbf

RedSkyAtNight · 11/09/2017 11:16

The child's health and safety was not compromised. It's not like she was asked to walk around with no shoes on all day. She would have had indoor areas she could have stayed in, and as many others have pointed out, the vast majority of secondary school children never wear coats at all anyway.