Sent a note with daughter and coat still got confiscated

[Lionness2020]

My daughter started in Year 7 BullersWood on Wed 6th Sept.
She came home after her first day excited to show me her new books and weekly planner. We sat down together to read through it, I had to sign parent/teacher contract and then we went on to read the school policies and rules.
Whilst reading I came to realize that now I need to buy my daughter a black coat! This isn't an issue....I will buy a black coat ( I just need some time to do this).
She left for school on Thursday with her current coat (purple I might add, I know its bright, but it was that or pink!) and I sent a note with her explaining the situation to giver to her teacher, my daughter got to the school gates and took her coat off and put it in her bag and never gave the note in I found out later that evening....my assumption here is that she was scared she may get disciplined or that it was a hot day and she didn't need a coat.
Come Friday morning, its raining and daughter decides she's going to wear the purple coat as it's waterproof (it was raining most of the day on Fri, I think i saw the sun come out around 3oClock), so again I wrote a note for her to hand to the teacher.
Now this is info I have managed to gather from my DD.......She was going into morning registration, as they were filing into class, the headteacher of Yr7 has stopped her about her coat (according to my daughter her office is opposite her form room). So, daughter says she has a note, hands it over, head of year reads it and say "how sweet, I will have to confiscate your coat and you can have it back at the end of the day, as it's breaking school rules".
I was absolutely astounded by this, I can't believe my daughter had no coat to wear during break/lunch on a cold/rainy day!
Where was the health, safety and well-being of my child?
Not a happy mum!
I will be making an appointment to see the headteacher.

DC's experience is that the school are actually strictest with the Y7 (trying to stamp their authority from Day 1?) DS certainly spent most of his Y7 tucking his shirt in, but no one seemed particularly bothered once he got to Y8.

DD said that her first day in Y7 consisted of girls who were wearing knee socks with skirts (uniform rules state - must be ankle socks) being asked to roll them down and not wear them again!.

Colonel
'Families struggling to afford expensive compulsory uniform isn't the problem in this case.'

That's true. However it is a problem for very many families, as numerous MN threads show. Uniform allowances are not available to everyone who needs them.

OP (not her DD) made a mistake and told the school that she would take responsibility for it. A good relationship between home and school is provably beneficial to children's learning. Strict uniform requirements are not. OP's school is in a position of power in that educationally beneficial relationship and risked damaging it from the start.

Red a whole school day wasted over socks?? Insane.

A quick google reveals that every state school in my area is wasting its precious time and diminishing resources on policing shoes, coats, bags etc. It's not possible escape this nonsense without going private (Steiner).

Meanwhile, teachers and headteachers across Europe went back to school this autumn and gave not a second's thought to raincoats.

MSLehrerin
We live in a democracy, so the OP doesn't have to agree to the rules imposed by her DD's school. Hence she can find another school where they allow purple coats, pink hair, hot pants and boob tubes or whatever. Simples?

Earlier on in the thread, you talked about uniform in relation to mimicking the rules of society. I can't see many signs of democracy in the formulation and implementation of school uniform policy. Given that a lot of schools have some overprescriptive, nonsensical uniform requirements, parents voting with their feet might well not be much of an option. Besides, school uniform requirements get updated and may well become more rigid once a school has been selected.

That said, as a parent, I have noticed that at the beginning of the school year, there seems to be much vigilance on the part of teachers and sanctions for uniform non-compliance. As the school year progresses, teachers seem to spend less time on transgressions and the rules are effectively relaxed.

Thank you for all your comments, it has been a real eye opener for me.
It's nice to know I'm not the only one in thinking this way.
I most definitely will be airing my concerns with the school and hopefully resolve this situation.
I am by no means one of "them parents" and I'm sure some of the staff will label me as that but I also won't sit back and say nothing.
We should make a FUSS if we have good reason.
They don't know me or my daughter, they should have contacted me!

MSLeherin
In the ops catchment? You are being facetious and you know it. Parents do not have the choice to vote with their feet.

We are not in Finland. I wore uniform to school and DH wore uniform to school. It didn't damage us.
I'm a big fan of uniform, it's so much easier to manage in the mornings and have ready, rather than looking for the one and only top they like to wear all the time which is in the washing machine.
You can but Hi-viz vests in Ikea, good luck getting them to wear it! Only the dweebs at DD's school wear coats

DC's experience is that the school are actually strictest with the Y7 (trying to stamp their authority from Day 1?) DS certainly spent most of his Y7 tucking his shirt in, but no one seemed particularly bothered once he got to Y8

We find they're most strict during the first term. After that they don't give a shiny shit, which leads to a lot of confusion among the students.

Mouthy students, with mouthy parents tend to get away with any skirt length, any hair colour and are able to wear their coats any where they please. DD finds it most unfair that she was asked to tone down her red (a natural red, not pillar box red, albeit not her natural colour) hair when the girl in front of her had dark purple hair and no-one uttered a word to her.

DD wouldn't kick off. She'd just come home and cry after being pulled in front of her classmates instead of taken to the side and spoken to quietly about it.

I did offer to speak to the school for her, but she didn't want me to, so I left it.

DC's experience is that the school are actually strictest with the Y7 (trying to stamp their authority from Day 1?) DS certainly spent most of his Y7 tucking his shirt in, but no one seemed particularly bothered once he got to Y8
Poor teaching in my opinion.
My expectations are the same of all year groups, all year.

Interestingly, studnet voice highlighted that students really don't like inconsistency (and understandably - they may get told to sort their uniform monday but by thursday it doesn't matter). They aren't that bothered by the rules (other than usual teen stuff) but they like them to be applied fairly and consistently.

We've been given something to do with students by the head. A week in and some kids are already saying 'why are you making us... mrs/mr so and so isn't'. Drives me mad and requires a lot of discipline not to reply 'thats because miss/sir are the types of inconsisent teachers who are the cause of us all having to do this in the first place. Maybe if they stopped trying to negotiate with kids/be cool then their classroom management and results wouldn't be a problem and the rest of us wouldn't be doing this'.
What's funny is that miss/sir cool are loved for their banter but (in the words of the student who were leaving) 'you wouldn't want them for gcse'.

I most definitely will be airing my concerns with the school and hopefully resolve this situation

I would be worried that it would be setting my Y7 DC up to be labeled as daughter of one of 'those parents. ' Good luck getting anywhere near the head with such a trivial complaint and be prepared to be given the lecture on how "its important for parents to back up teachers when they enforce rules".

When starting Y7 we had to sign a home school agreement which stated parents are obliged to provide students with all necessary school uniform. I am sure you wont be asked to consider if that school is the right 'fit' for your daughter.

You expect them to phone home every single time a child breaks uniform rules? How big is this school? You do realise that teachers have to you know um teach?!
Send your child into school wearing proper full school uniform.

Maybe they are not bad teachers, maybe they just prefer to pick their battles. Teachers have always had a lot on their plates. If someone was otherwise a well-behaved student who worked well, I'd turn a blind eye to a purple coat or a bit of lip gloss. That's not the same as being a hostage to a bunch of hellions.

I'm amazed your dd wears a coat full stop to school.

Dd managed five years at school and didn't take a cost once, rain, snow, whatever.

@itsbetterthanabox think the OP might need to look further than their catchment area to find such a place. There would be transport costs etc subsequently. Hence OP would need to weigh up sucking up either the black coat rule or the additional costs. Depends what battle OP picks. Facetious, moi? 😉

limited
Chicken and egg. In my experience, teachers who pick and choose rules, are inconsistent etc are the weaker teachers.
Why bother looking smart when sir may/may not care? If the school says you enter the room sensibly but miss lets you come in noisily, then why follow other rules with her? If sir doesn't really pick you up for some rules being broken then it's worth chancing your arm on homework because he probably won't mind. Or he might mind but it's a 50/50 chance and even then he migjt let you off your detention if you're good that lesson.

Set your standard and insist on it.
E.g. I very rarely issue detentions. I'm in that position because of the certainty of a sanction if they don't meet my standards. Students meet my standards so I spend more time laughing with them and actually teaching them. It's great. But that healthy respect comes out of high standards.

Having high expectations and being strict isn't the same as being nasty to them. Teenagers aren't stupid. They quickly work out which teachers are worth listening to (in their eyes).

It's taken over 250 posts till Godwin's Law has been invoked. The prize goes to @BananasAreGood!

Bloody school uniform nonsense. FFS, the school should be going pout of their way to settle children in, not coming down on them like a ton of bricks over a coat - what utter rubbish!

Question from upthread: "
I'm sorry but I'm with the school, if they bend the rules for you, whats tbr point of having them? "
Answer - no point whatsoever.

Poor girl - what a dreadful way for the staff to behave and put her off school.

I don't expect them to call every single time a child breaks uniform rules, but maybe they should for new students/parents to the school, especially when they haven't known my child for long enough to know anything about her.

Hence OP would need to weigh up sucking up either the black coat rule or the additional costs. Depends what battle OP picks.

Attention to detail, MSLehrerin. OP said from the get-go:

I will buy a black coat ( I just need some time to do this).

lion
We have 250 new y7s. Calling for anything wouldm't be practical.

I spoke to a child and had a friendly chat because he'd forgotten his equipment. I thought he was going to cry. He wasn't even in trouble. I just remidned him to pack his bag the night before.

The school took the coat off her. There are indoor areas at break and lunch for rainy days. They gave it back before she went home. She's have been in the rain for no more than 5 mins over the entire day.

Is it annoying for you? Yes. But not worth a meeting in my opinion.

Excellent @fascicle. My three hours at the pile of marking today has dented my attention to detail somewhat, it would appear. Have deducted another merit point for myself. Schoolgirl error eh?

Glad the OP has chosen the path of least resistance. 😉

But what would you want the school to say when they rang up? "your DC is not wearing a uniform coat, kindly get her one that conforms?" -a message that could be relayed equally well by your DD.

Why would knowing your child or you make the blindest bit of difference to expecting her to follow the rules?
Schools expect parents who are new to the school to check uniform policy. You didn't. It's your bad. Not the school's.

Sorry but I think you are behaving ridiculously to create a fuss over at the school.

Your daughter would have been fine, even in the rain. If it was distressing for her (I mean, really?! ) the fault was yours.

I once worked at a school where there was no uniform. The reason was that the catchment area was very poor and a lot of children were new to the country and parents hadn't got settled enough to get a uniform sorted.
The parents campaigned for a simple uniform as it was cheaper and easier than own clothes.