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Secondary education

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Original poster

My Daughter phoned me at lunchtime to tell me she has been given detention for burping in the canteen at school

132 replies

user1484227404 · 12/01/2017 14:24

She has told me she was sat at the table talking with her friends eating her lunch when she happened to let out a tiny belch. She thought nothing of it carried on talking to her friends when a teacher on a table by them then turned round and asked them which one of you burped . My daughter who is in year 7 said it was her the teacher then told her off and before she left to go outside with her friends handed her a detention for tomorrow lunchtime because she didant say excuse me . I am fuming right now and want to phone the school as this is ridiculous . Anyone got any advice ?

OP posts:
AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 12/01/2017 17:16

Sometimes you can't help a burp. It's a natural bodily function - I'm quite surprised that this would warrant a detention unless it was a deliberate attempt to annoy people.

Blimey, my DS is always trumping at school apparently, he tells me that even he can't stand the stench sometimes. He's never been punished (but then he is a master of silent but deadly Grin)

Scrumptiousbears · 12/01/2017 17:20

Years ago if you told your parents you had detention they'd ask what you did wrong and if you came out with a minor explanation they'd ask for the truth.

Now for some reason the first thing parents do is blame the teacher and school, annoyed that their precious child is getting victimised. Confused

EllaHen · 12/01/2017 17:22

For your daughter's sake I would back the school up.

Pick your battles.

Ditsyprint40 · 12/01/2017 17:23

I highly doubt this is the full story. Surely a burp wouldn't be heard... I would leave her to it.

Lilmisskittykat · 12/01/2017 17:26

Same as other posters likely to have been significant if heard at another table and not followed by 'pardon me' etc.

Back up the school, she'll learn manners count everywhere not just at home

maddy68 · 12/01/2017 17:26

Burping is rude, manners are taught at school. If she was able to be heard from another table she had done this loudly and probably intentionally
Why are you getting involved with the school discipline?
If a teacher deamed her behaviour unacceptable enough to warrant a detention you should back them up!

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay · 12/01/2017 17:31

Agree with PP, it's pretty disgusting. Wouldn't be happy if my DD had been going around burping at people eating, especially at 12.

cherrycrumblecustard · 12/01/2017 17:34

To be fair, most bodily functions can be stifled. I know sometimes a fart or burp shoots out when you don't expect it but it would be unusual.

miracleplease · 12/01/2017 17:37

Hugely unlikely that this is the full story.
Please support the school.

Sadik · 12/01/2017 17:37

Interesting. I remember in school being given detention for sneezing too much in class.

Which seemed a bit shit given the classroom was massively dusty (work being done) and I was having a massive allergic reaction - runny eyes, uncontrollable sneezing, felt horrible. I'd have given anything to not be sneezing, especially as I got a lot of teasing for my various allergies.
So worth remembering that teachers aren't always fair and proportionate when they dish out sanctions - sometimes they're having a bad day and if you get in their way you suffer.

SauvignonBlanche · 12/01/2017 17:38

She hasn't been given a detention for burping but not saying 'excuse me' afterwards.

It sounds the teacher is trying to teach her what is socially acceptable and you should probably back the school up.

mymatemax · 12/01/2017 17:42

Tell her to just do the detention. It will all be over & done with. If you go in & make a fuss or phone it will become a far bigger event. Sometimes you have to show a little solidarity with the school even if you are not 100% on board.

Crumbs1 · 12/01/2017 17:46

No wonder we have teenagers growing up thinking they rule the world! She was rude and probably clowning around. The teacher caught her and issued sanction. As a parent you should be supporting the school not undermining them.

Ditsyprint40 · 12/01/2017 17:54

The time it would take to log the detention on the system would not be worth if this was a quiet, accidental burp.

Violetcharlotte · 12/01/2017 17:54

To me this sounds like the teacher being really petty. You know your daughter and whether this is the sort of thing she'd do deliberately or not (if it was one of my boys I'd know they were guilty!) If this is out of character for her then it's probably the teacher being an arse.

Get fed up with hearing how you should always support the school. My experience is teachers can be ridiculously petty over stupid things like this.

Violetcharlotte · 12/01/2017 18:01

Having said that, for a small thing like this I would get her to do the detention and wouldn't phone the school. It's a good lesson for kids that sometimes life isn't fair and you just have to suck it up.

However, i'd make sure she knew that I believed her, that's what's important.

Original poster
user1484227404 · 13/01/2017 22:29

My daughter did the detention she came home after school yesterday having spoken with her form tutor. What happened was the teacher in question told her tutor who has confirmed to me today that it was only a tiny belch . However the teacher in question does not yet know my daughter and as my DD did not say pardon me and her freinds laughed she deemed it rude which I can see . So basically my DD has been told she should have excused herself and the teacher might have just told her off or sent her out of the canteen . But as my DD didn't the teacher felt the only way forward was to issue the DT . It was for 30 minutes of the 45 min break my daughter had to sit with the teacher in question on a table for her lunch then had to clean the canteen litter pick etc . She says she was embrassed as she has never burped or passed wind like that at school before so didant know what to do and she didant realise she could get in trouble she knows good manners so I told her just to think on in future

OP posts:
TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 13/01/2017 23:52

Blimey, is it not also rude to draw attention to a burp in the way that was done here?! Of course you can never be entirely sure what happened but I feel a bit sorry for your DD and hope she can try to forget about it. I remember being that age and would also have been embarrassed and can see me not saying excuse me out of sheer embarrassment.

That said, I wouldn't be sharing any of this with DD as I would be backing up the school publicly to her (no children of this age yet so obviously can't be sure what I would do). If she really was pissing about then that's different but if not then hopefully she can just put it behind her and knows to say pardon me afterwards.

I have to say, it sounds petty and verging on cruel to me but I would always support the school as PP says, for something like this anyway. I'd also give her a big hug - I would have been crushed if this happened to me as a shy 11 year old.

VintagePerfumista · 14/01/2017 10:09

Rofling again at "parents knowing their children".

Not when they're at school with their mates you don't.

And nor, probably, do you want to.

Not only do I see the "she's got my snowflake mixed up with someone else" look a zillion times from one side of the desk, but when dd's teachers tell me stuff I do the same. Literally don't recognise her in any of the descriptions I'm given.

To the poster whose son passes wind- if it is that frequent you might want to seek medical attention- because silent and deadly or not, it's a) disgusting and b) disruptive if the entire class is hollering with laughter every time- which believe me, they will be doing. We all know that right? We've all been kids in those classes when it happens and uproar ensues. Now we're adults though, we recognise it's not acceptable.

ifonly4 · 14/01/2017 10:20

Personally, I never belch, I gently and quietly bring up wind if I feel it's there. Putting that aside, did she apologise loud enough for everyone to hear. If so, maybe it's questionable if a detention should have been given.

At our local primary, they are asked who belched and then expected to apologize to those around if they haven't already one so. Secondary is a step up and if the most well behaved child can get detention.

IHeartKingThistle · 14/01/2017 10:28

I gave a kid a detention for yawning once. That was his version.

My version was that a very quiet and shy girl was at the front of the class doing her assessed speech, he was sitting at the front and intentionally did a massive loud yawn, complete with full cartoon style arm stretch, to let everyone know he thought she wasn't worth listening to. He wanted to make his friends laugh. He did. He wanted to make her feel shit. He did.

But basically, yeah, he got a detention for yawning. There's always more than one version!

KoalaDownUnder · 14/01/2017 10:29

I wonder in which other professions, your every move is questioned and challenged in the same way teachers are.

Yeah, this is what I wonder.

If I'd called my mum from school to whinge about this, I'd have got short shrift. And I had a lovely, sympathetic mum.

Blu · 14/01/2017 13:10

Good for you, King Thistle!

OP, whilst it is fair enough that her lack of manners was addressed (and belching at lunch can easily become a 'thing ' at school) the school obviously doles out very heavy handed punishments, half an hour plus litter picking is a lot for a lapse of manners, IMO, but this sort of zero tolerance is quite popular amongst parents as 'discipline ' and is a way that schools get a handle on the Yr 7s.

Your dd knows this now.

Original poster
user1484227404 · 14/01/2017 18:42

This weekend I have decided to take her shopping take her mind off it she was a bit down last night especially after missing most of her lunch break yesterday . I allowed her to stay up later last night to watch some films as well she seemed a bit scared of The DT I think and obviously was embarrassed as older students plus others in her year were around and saw her having to sit with the teacher and eat her lunch . Hopefully the harsh punishment however will stand her in good stead and her tutor has backed her and yes to stressed I did give her a hug last night

OP posts:
spanieleyes · 14/01/2017 21:44

So, you rewarded her for the detentionConfused