My son MUST have HAIR CUT for secondary school!

[strewthy13]

We have been informed that we MUST get our sons hair cut before he goes up to secondary school this year. If we don't the school will refuse to let him attend. We have written to the school and quoted the sexual discrimination act etc but they will not budge. The school rules say hair no longer than the collar and will not be tolerated. Hair off or him off. We are really not happy about this and needless to say our son is devastated to say the least. Our child has had long blonde hair since he started to walk...thoughts and ideas would be very much appreciated. If anyone has had the same experience that would be helpful too!

My ds in primary has long hair. He always tie it in neat pony tail for school. We have only one secondary near us, and I don't know their rules.(I will look it up.)
It's who he is, and he is far from defying a school rules, so he may decide to cut it, but if he doesn't, I would fight for him, I think.

Meh. Choose another bloody school if you don't like the rules in that one.

I'm boggling a bit at all the 'just follow the rules' posts, although this is a rule that is arbitrary, discriminatory, unfair and underpinned by some very very conservative and at heart rather worrying assumptions and ideas about gender (boys have to have smart soldierish haircuts while girls are allowed to have long hair for decoration. As the mother of dses and a dd, neither of these ideas appeal to me).

Surely part of education is not just about following rules, but learning to tell the difference between rules that are just/sensible/fairnecessary and therefore to be followed, rules that one might not agree with personally but that are to be followed because it gives rise to a greater good (community spirit etc - sensible/moderate uniform rules might go into this category) and rules that are unfair and therefore can be challenged? And saying boys have to have short hair but girls don't has no sound basis when examined.

The longer I'm away from the UK, mind you, the more ridiculous I find the whole concept of school uniforms. Anarchy has never yet been seen to reign at any of my dcs' German non-uniform schools. I am a bit at some things I have seen dc turn up in, and I think schools could do with slightly tighter dress codes, but I have never yet seen a lack of uniforms work against a general spirit of cohesion and cooperation. And I see lots and lots of adult Germans in work uniforms/smart business dress etc with no apparent difficulties. Obviously Germans avoid school uniforms for very good historical reasons. But it's food for thought.

dementedma, do you know anything about school admissions? You can't just walk into any school and decide to send your child there.

So either defy the rules and tie his hair back, or home ed if it's that much of a deal. Sometimes in life you just don't get your own way. Depends on how strongly the op feels I suppose .
Actually, here in Scotland you can pretty much do as you said above...

Ok I couldn't care less whether boys have long hair or not, but the argument that Sikhs are allowed so why not him is terrible - it's a religious exemption. And to posters saying "oh just tell him to say he identifies as Sikh as an excuse for his hair" - are you fucking serious?! You wouldn't say it was ok for him to go to school in blackface, would you?! So don't be so utterly culturally disrespectful. Imitating someone's religion and culture as some kind of buzz feed life hack is incredibly inappropriate.

FenellaMaxwell

I would love to know if you feel the same way about people who pretend to be Christian, or those that pretend to live in catchment areas to get in to various schools.

Boney - nooooo, of course in those circumstances I think it's perfectly fine... Of course I bloody feel the same way - it's not appropriate and disrespectful.

No biscuit required Finella I was just asking to see were your line in the sand was. :)

Well, FrancisCrawford, (and it's Informal, not Imperious btw), when someone posts an OP that doesn't actually give enough information to be answered, then yes I will go and have a little dig around.

And as you well know, only OP can confirm what the situation is - whether having to have a haircut is unreasonable or not will depend on the type of school, won't it?

This is a useful article Whilst about dress codes and employment, the issues discussed are also relevant to school uniforms. Placing appearance code restrictions on one sex but not the other does not necessarily mean that there is discriminatory treatment. Much will depend on the explanation for the distinction but court often reluctant to interfere.
www.no5.com/news-and-publications/publications/248-dress-codes-and-discrimination-claims/