My son MUST have HAIR CUT for secondary school!

[strewthy13]

We have been informed that we MUST get our sons hair cut before he goes up to secondary school this year. If we don't the school will refuse to let him attend. We have written to the school and quoted the sexual discrimination act etc but they will not budge. The school rules say hair no longer than the collar and will not be tolerated. Hair off or him off. We are really not happy about this and needless to say our son is devastated to say the least. Our child has had long blonde hair since he started to walk...thoughts and ideas would be very much appreciated. If anyone has had the same experience that would be helpful too!

Oh and I'm a special snow flake

Excellent post pointy

Jack having one sex cut their hair and not the other is a stupid, pointless rule.

May as well say all girls have to bring in a 3" collapsible wigwam, but the boys don't. Just because. They'll still learn that pointless rules have to be followed.

Although I'm not personally a fan of long hair on boys, I do think that suggestions like 'change school' or 'home educate' are a bollocks really.
Depending where you live, I strongly doubt there are necessarily any schools to change to (particularly 1 week before term starts), and home educate? Really?? The vast majority of people need the kids in school while they work to keep a roof over the family's head. Only on Mumsnet is home educate something I hear about!

Personally, assuming this is a fairly standard comp (not private or grammar or whatever) then if he really wants to keep if I would send him in with it in a tidy bun and see if they kick off. He needs to be on board though, as it might land him in trouble and get him a bad reputation with the school/teachers from the get go, which may be hard to shake and haunt him for the next 5 years.

Pendu Almost all schools allow religious exceptions to their uniform policy.

"Thankfully we have you to raise the ne t generation of cuntychops"

I love you, HoneyDragon!

Just "Only if he's a practising Sikh. "

so tell them he is. I mean seriously, if the things you believe in determine how you are allowed to wear your hair, something is very wrong.

also some of those lads won't be practising Sikhs, they're just wearing their hair that way due to parental pressure.

essentially, religious privilege should not supercede other rules. At my school someone was allowed to wear a religious symbol necklace in PE. Ridiculous. What was to stop me wearing a cross and saying "it's my faith"? Nothing at all.

I had hoped the world had moved on in 30 years.

@Navyandwhite - "Comeback the school have said hair no longer than collar and the OP has complained and appealed but the school isn't budging."

Are girls allowed hair longer than their collar, OP?

If so, here's what you should do. Send DS in with his hair in a ponytail (covering bases for safety and headlice) and a letter addressed solely to the head asking for a one on one meeting to discuss this. Ask for justification of such a discriminatory rule and why girls can have long hair, but boys can't.

If still unhappy, continue sending him with hair in ponytail and lodge a complaint/appeal with the LEA.

it is sexist if the girls ar eallowed long hair

go to the local papers an mp

i love long hair on males nothing wrong with it

Schools often have rules about long hair being loose - at our school is absolutely must be tied back for science, home economics, technical and PE. No exceptions. So unless your son is prepared to have a neat ponytail, pleat or bun with no loose strands hanging out, he will have to have it cut.

its not as simple as just choosing a school that allows it. depending on where you are its lucky if you get the school of your choice.

every child is entiled to education depending on hair length

DS is at primary school and has long hair, it hasn't been an issue so I wonder if we'll be facing this too. The only people who have commented have been some particularly fuddy duddy parents. I just say it's 2016 not 1916...

And in point of fact it has been the fashion for men in the past to wear their hair long, so it's far from correct to say it has always been conventional. If it isn't a health and safety issue for girls to have long hair tied up, then I would say it works the other way. Mind I'm married to someone who has waist long dreads so I love long hair.

Also noticed OP has not been back to thread to clarify the exact policy and type of school.

Helpful.

I am all for challenging rules but for a child starting secondary school this is not the way I would want him to start..

Do what you want unless it doesn't suit you.. OP said it is sexual discrimination... She hasn't said her DS feels that way just he doesn't want to.

Come to think of it I have an example of it being applied the other way. A friend of mine in the 80's when we were at senior school shaved her head to about a number 2 buzz cut. She was sent home and told to let it grow. This was a shitty kind of comp as well so not a grammar.

I'd become a Sikh just to piss them off. It's so backward forcing a child to have sorry hair against his will.

I don't get it. Long hair on boys is gorgeous.

give the OP a chance, it's only been 3 hours!

Short hair, not sorry hair.

At which point do or should schools make their individual arcane rules clear? My borough has just published its guide for applying to secondary, but unless you actually go to open days and ask the right questions of the right people, you'd never know for example that school X excludes boys with long hair, school Y refuses to feed children with no funds for lunch, or school Z claims to offer separate sciences but in fact only 10% of the cohort are given the chance.

Even when offered places and asked to accept them, parents don't know these kinds of detail - especially parents who have just ticked their nearest schools. It doesn't look like pride or confidence in their own schools if such rules aren't made clear up front, and parents are over a barrel given that schools can make up their own rules and threaten to exclude a child.

If schools want parents to sign home-school agreements, then these should be publicised pre-application and sufficiently detailed to be useful. My DC's primary wanted me to sign an agreement saying I would support school rules and sanctions and take children to school on time each day - but with no idea what sanctions they might impose, I've refused to sign it - though when consenting for children to go on trips there is sometimes a line about agreeing support school rules, so they might argue I've signed anyway. As it happens, I've no disagreements with them so far after 3 years, but it's not like I could apply to a different primary that publicised different uniform rules when none of them tell you in advance and you can't exclude schools on grounds of uniform, religiousness, compulsory dinners, militariness or anything that might be important to many parents.

Pretty sure you can't just "become" a Sikh, it's nog like being Muslim or a Hindu; you have to be born to it.

You make attending open days and asking questions sound beyond the call Citrus.

I'm pretty sure most schools have uniform codes online anyway, TBF.