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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

My son MUST have HAIR CUT for secondary school!

187 replies

strewthy13 · 25/08/2016 11:38

We have been informed that we MUST get our sons hair cut before he goes up to secondary school this year. If we don't the school will refuse to let him attend. We have written to the school and quoted the sexual discrimination act etc but they will not budge. The school rules say hair no longer than the collar and will not be tolerated. Hair off or him off. We are really not happy about this and needless to say our son is devastated to say the least. Our child has had long blonde hair since he started to walk...thoughts and ideas would be very much appreciated. If anyone has had the same experience that would be helpful too!

OP posts:
NotMe321 · 25/08/2016 15:59

Home school agreements are completely unenforceable in law, and there is nothing a school can do if a parent refuses to sign. I never do, because they never seem to include much in terms of the school's obligations, and I reckon they should be a two-way street.

Lorelei76 · 25/08/2016 16:11

Tinkly, I believe it's bull that anyone is born into anything, and anyway the OP can say she is a Sikh. People can't tell your faith or lack thereof by looking at you. They may wish to make stupid judgements based on your appearance but that shouldn't affect law or school rule enforcement.

Notme - I did wonder that about home school agreements, I'm surprised they exist because no one can do anything about them in reality can they?

Lorelei76 · 25/08/2016 16:13

PS Tinkly I thought Sikhs were happy for anyone to follow the faith in any case, without worrying about what religion your ancestors may or may not have followed.

JacquettaWoodville · 25/08/2016 16:20

It's quite possible that there isn't a local school without this code; it's also true that, if schools are oversubscribed, uniform code wouldn't be a valid reason for turning down a place and asking the LA to find an alternate.

OpenMe · 25/08/2016 16:27

It will be an all boys' school with an a reputation for strong discipline and good behaviour. If it's a mixed school then the rule is sexist. If the rule is the same for all students then it's not.

You can't chose a school that gets great results and then say you won't support it's methods of achieving those results. Doesn't matter if you think this particular rule is silly, having a set of known rules and enforcing them is absolutely necessary in a good school.

SoupDragon · 25/08/2016 17:08

At which point do or should schools make their individual arcane rules clear?

You could try looking on the school website where such information is usually freely available.

NotMe321 · 25/08/2016 17:24

You can't chose a school that gets great results and then say you won't support its methods of achieving those results.

I really don't believe that any school can sensibly claim that it achieves great results by having rules about boys' hair lengths. If anything it will damage their results because of the amount of learning time wasted by teachers who have to faff around enforcing pointless uniform rules. Out of curiosity, I just had a quick look at the websites of schools that regularly top results league tables and couldn't find one that even mentioned rules about hair.

OpenMe · 25/08/2016 17:27

Note, You've willfully quoted only part of my post out of context. The point is successful schools have rules and enforce them. Doesn't matter what the actual rules are but if parents want a part of the success for their child they need to support the rules.

Skiver123 · 25/08/2016 17:28

Geez at my brothers school they had to get their head cut in size 4!! I think it's just traditional.

ImperialBlether · 25/08/2016 17:37

I find it hard to get wound up about this. A child of eleven needs to know that when they start school they're not the boss of what's going to happen.

If parents start challenging rules that are relatively unimportant - that they should have known about prior to applying to the school and which existed long before their children were at the school - then they're teaching their children to be entitled.

It's no big deal. Everyone knows that boys' hair has to reasonably short in most schools. Why the shock/horror at this point in the year, when there have been open days and plenty of time to discover what the schools' rules are.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 25/08/2016 17:38

DH is 40 and wasn't allowed hair past his collar when a school, absolutely ridiculous that schools think they can still get away with daft rules like this.

And that thing about short hair on boys/men being 'smarter' pfft.

And yes l live in a house where the male occupants have longer hair than the females...

rogueantimatter · 25/08/2016 18:02

"Everyone knows that boys' hair has to be relatively short in most schools".

I'm in Scotland and I've never known of a Scottish (state) school that has this rule. What a ridiculous rule.

Would this school require someone with a huge affro which is tall but doesn't go below his/her collar to cut it. Years of growth.

Trifleorbust · 25/08/2016 18:25

All things considered, I'm not sure getting into a drawn-out conflict over something so relatively minor is the best idea as your son moves into secondary, OP. Technically, you're right and the rule is discriminatory. The reality is that almost all state maintained schools have similar rules of some sort or another (jewellery, trousers, skirt length, hair). If you follow this to its conclusion, you will be teaching your son to view his school as not being on his side, and it will probably affect his attainment in the long run. Just give him a hair cut!

FrancisCrawford · 25/08/2016 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotCitrus · 25/08/2016 20:02

Fair point SoupDragon - I've just looked up the uniforms of three secondary schools nearby, and they are clearly very different - one says merely hair colour should be natural and accessories of modest size, and long hair tied back; another specifies boys' hair needs to be "Hair length must be a similar length all over the head, crown and sides. Hair length should be no longer than 2 inches (5cm). There should be no distinct difference in length of hair at the top or side of the head for fashionable styles. Students face must be clean shaven." - no mention of exemptions for Sikhs but it's a Catholic school which probably doesn't have any. No idea whether Afro hair is measured at rest or extended... This school also enforces skirts for girls and bans cycling shorts under!
The third school was in between.

I suppose I'll be doing a lot of reading in the next few years, given there's about 50 potential schools and I'm not going to more than 20 open days... It's a bit of a contrast to our primary where not many parents had looked at the school beforehand, and the attitude to uniform is "you bring the child, we'll provide a jumper and not worry about the rest, let us know if you can't afford it" If the kid's hair doesn't have nits, that'll do nicely (a couple boys do have long hair in a pony tail or plait).

Just5mins Given at least a third of kids at my ds's primary don't have internet access and many parents just apply to a couple schools they've heard of, there's going to be many surprised by uniform codes - though I suspect very expensive uniform and strict codes for bags and coats and hair is all part of selecting out such parents as much as possible.

museumum · 25/08/2016 20:03

It sounds like you have a non conformist child in a very traditional school. Doesn't sound like a great fit to me. I'm sure this is only the first of many issues you'll have.
Can I ask why you chose it?
If you're in an area without any choice then I would challenge it. But if you had other options and choose this one then I don't think you can complain really.

Oliversmumsarmy · 25/08/2016 20:23

I don't get why people think cutting hair is no big deal. I think it is traumatic. Give me the dentist any day of the week

callmeadoctor · 25/08/2016 21:57

mmmm OP hasn't come back!

usual · 25/08/2016 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 25/08/2016 22:10

Lorelei my knowledge of Sikhism is gained from DS's Sikh girlfriend (we are not Sikhs) who seems pretty convinced it is not something a person can convert to. Apologies if I am wrong.

Lorelei76 · 25/08/2016 22:15

Tinkly, dint worry, these things are always varying from person to person. Mine is from a rellie. Some people just don't believe in converting at all, whole other thread. But these are exemptions op should look at.

rogueantimatter · 26/08/2016 09:04

usual I'm wondering why the OP hasn't commented further too.....

CoolCarrie · 26/08/2016 12:21

She is away fighting with the school I bet! What a ridiculous carry on over his hair, make a stand over more important things, not hair which he can grow back later on!

Stellabystarlight · 26/08/2016 12:42

I don't think she is being ridiculous actually (and this is coming from someone who doesn't much like long hair on boys - yes I accept I am probably conditioned to think this).

It's exactly the same as not allowing girls to wear trousers in my opinion.

If girls are allowed hair past their collars then so should boys. End of.

So much time wasted in this country enforcing ludicrously specific dress codes. Doesn't seem to make our education system vastly superior to other EU countries mostly with no uniform at all.

CoolCarrie · 26/08/2016 13:20

I do agree with you about trousers for girls, in the winter. My high school did allow this after the girls in the higher grades took them on about it, but when ever I walk pass my old school now, I am shocked by the way the girls, in particular, are dressed. We were always told we were an advert, if you like, for our school, and our behaviour in our school uniform was a reflection on the school & it's standards. This family are being set up for a fall if this sense of entitlement continues...