My son MUST have HAIR CUT for secondary school!

[strewthy13]

We have been informed that we MUST get our sons hair cut before he goes up to secondary school this year. If we don't the school will refuse to let him attend. We have written to the school and quoted the sexual discrimination act etc but they will not budge. The school rules say hair no longer than the collar and will not be tolerated. Hair off or him off. We are really not happy about this and needless to say our son is devastated to say the least. Our child has had long blonde hair since he started to walk...thoughts and ideas would be very much appreciated. If anyone has had the same experience that would be helpful too!

Is it an all boys' school? With no Sikh's?

What have Sikhs got to do with it? If they are granted a uniform code exception so that they can observe Kesh, then that's a religious exception.

I can't see the problem so long as he has it tied back or in a bun for practical lessons. Length rules are ridiculous. The length of his hair doesn't affect his learning in any way. It's petty authoritarianism and I don't see that as a necessary or beneficial aspect of schooling. Challenge it.

What have Sikhs got to do with it?
Because many Sikh boys have long hair.

If they are granted a uniform code exception so that they can observe Kesh, then that's a religious exception.

But thank you for clarifying that religious exceptions are an option for boys with long hair. I was not aware of this.

Get his hair cut, he has plenty of time to grow it longer again when he grows up!
My ds best friend had lovely long hair, never cut since very young, but his he & his parents knew that the school required his hair to be short, so it was cut and his hair was donated to a charity which makes wigs for children who have lost their hair due to cancer treatment!

You nee. To follow the rules just like everyone else. I work in an all boys school with the same rule.
As for trams gender he would be able to attend an all boys school as most don't have the facilities to allow for derogate changes.
Follow the rule and get it cut or change schools simple.

I bet the school authorities just love it when a parent spouts off about the sexual discrimination act. Do your child a favour and tell him to get a hair cut. There are more important things to worry about.

Apologies for the huge errors in my post...probably should check before I post!

FFS if no-one ever challenged unjust and unreasonable rules we would still live in a world where women can't vote, where slavery is legal and where homosexuality is against the law. To all those who say 'well, it's the rules' - do we really want to raise a generation of sheep? It's a rule without reason, it should be challenged. If girls are allowed long hair, albeit tied back, the same should apply to boys.

I bet the school authorities just love it when a parent spouts off about the sexual discrimination act

Who cares if they love it? They don't have to love it, they have to adhere to it.

Really?

That's shocking. What sort of tyrannical institution is this school? Why on earth should it have any say in your DS' choice of hairstyle? Can't it handle the expressive/non-conformist/rebellious/hippy types? Shame on you OP's DS' school!

I hope this school is equally strict about more important things.

Maybe your son would feel better about it if he did as my ds mate did and donate the hair, then he can feel he did something positive & helped someone else.

Those are the rules and frankly, his education is more important than his pride. Get it cut. It will prepare him for life - you don't always get what you want and there are rules to be adhered to in the workplace and throughout his life.

Whilst I am all for inclusion and whatnot, why does every discussion that hinges on gender create a bunfight and people scream sex discrimination. I dont know anywhere IRL that it seems to crop up so much as on MN

I am always surprised by these 'follow the rules' replies. Comply, comply, don't question. Disrupt the kid's schooling by changing schools and leaving mates behind, home-school, as if that is such an easy option. It's hair, it shouldn't be such a big deal. Similar to girls in trousers, I mean honestly, why should it only be a medical or religious exception? Especially in state schools of course but seeing as most schools are academies now it seems even harder to challenge these random rules.

It's too easy for people to say he should get a haircut or choose a different school.

If this school is not an all boys school (I know the OP hasn't clarified) and girls are allowed their hair long but boys are not, then that's discrimination.

I think discrimination should be challenged, rather than people avoiding the confrontation and just letting it continue.

I bet the HT is a fuddy-duddy with thin hair who's jealous of anyone with long lustrous locks.

People 'scream' (they actually just point it out) sexual discrimination because it is sexual discrimination if the same rules don't apply to girls with long hair. Obvious enough, i would have thought.

It's a very sensible rule. Why should little boys go round looking like little girls? Life is confusing enough as it is.

Bore off

I'd ask if he could tie it up? Man buns are now a thing.

And long hair on a man does not equal = girl/transgender when I have a Pixy cut I'm not a male/transgender. I'm a woman with short hair FFS!

Bring back grammar schools and instill some proper discipline. We don't want to create a generation of long haired entitled snowflakes.

OP

What do the school rules say on girls' hair, if not a single sex school?

I'm all for uniforms but as long as his hair is clean and tidy and doesn't flip in his eyes and can be tied back then I think they're being ridiculous.

God, Usernumber's post is almost as ridiculous as confusionis' post.

Is it the heat or something?

Does the OP know that that is the case? I cant see that stipulated in the OP at all. So perhaps there is a rule that girls need to have their hair tied up if longer than shoulder length.

Its not sexism to have a rule that they should have it cut to X length. Whilst it's unfortunate, he needs to get used to rules. Otherwise the rest of his life will be a big shock.

Schools do my head in. The 'good' ones brag about their amazing results - tutors and supportive parents have nothing to do with it of course- . I know that teaching is a difficult job. But this horrible attitude so many schools seem to have of, 'Remember how lucky you are to have a place here and don't ever breach any of our petty rules or you're out' is awful IMO. Teachers are paid to teach. End of.

There's no evidence that wearing school uniform or adhering to strict hair/jewellery codes has a beneficial effect on learning.

There was a thread recently from a mum whose DS had his hair cut shorter (on the sides) than he wanted and was suspended from school until his hair grew back. So his hair was too short. OP's DS' hair is too long......

Really?