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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Year 7

48 replies

Sani1 · 08/03/2016 20:32

Hello,
When your child starts secondary school do you stop bringing them in or picking them up from school all together? as my child school is far away and I would like to drop him off everyday, but at the same time I don't want to embarrass him at the same time if this is not the common practice with year 7 pupils, please advise.

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 08/03/2016 21:02

Loads of parents drop kids off at the secondary school I work at, including older kids.

Just let them jump out, no goodbye kisses and it'll be fine.

sunnydayinmay · 08/03/2016 21:41

I drop off, and lift share with a couple of other families. There is no direct bus, just too far to walk regularly (45-60 mins walk), and in my way to work.

We have a couple of pick up places five mins walk from school, and drop there, so dcs walk in for the last bit.

Bolognese · 08/03/2016 21:46

As long as you dont walk them in from the car its all good. Drop off/pick up is pretty normal, especially for further away schools.

comfortseeker · 08/03/2016 22:53

A lot of parents drop off and collect their kids at my dc 's school but not to walk with them.

Original poster

Sani1 · 09/03/2016 05:39

Thank you very much.
What I understood is that It's ok to drop them off if I was driving but what if some days we ( I / my hubsband) wanted to use the transport rather than driving, is it completely unacceptable/ embarrassing to pick them up after school walking even at year 7 ( our son will only be 11 by then , end of summer born) ?

OP posts:

ChalkHearts · 09/03/2016 06:03

I would say it's totally unacceptable to take them to school if it's a local school and they can get there them self.

I'd also say he'll let you know when he no longer wants you to accompany him to school.

BertrandRussell · 09/03/2016 06:12

Why do you want to do this? Is it on you way to work so you'll be traveling together?

Diamogs · 09/03/2016 06:32

I drop off and pick up every day. No direct transport and no one for her to walk the two miles with.

If she was on public transport then I probably wouldn't accompany her.

Katenka · 09/03/2016 06:39

I drop off and pick up every day. There is a drop off/pick up point.

There is no bus and the almost three mile walk doesn't have a path for most of it. It's also a national speed limit road.

Loads of kids are picked up dropped off.

My dd is summer born. Got to be honest I would never get the bus with her. Sometimes she walks from the school on an afternoon to ds' school and meets us there. I do not walk with her.

If there is public transport why would you take him?

I really wouldn't advise getting the bus with him. Either drive him or let him get the bus.

Yes, kids shouldn't bully other kids. But it still happens and I think you would be singling him out as different.

wannabestressfree · 09/03/2016 06:43

I teach where my boys go to school and they come with me to the door :) no embarrassment whatsoever!! They generally make their own way home as I am there later so one gets the bus (year seven and summer born) one walks and one waits (the lazy one)

mudandmayhem01 · 09/03/2016 06:46

My daughter is in y7, she would kill me if I picked her up from school on foot. There are no parents at the gates, it would look very odd.

Original poster

Sani1 · 09/03/2016 06:59

Thank you.
There are some reasons like
He is so nervous about this whole secondary school issue and the new school where he has no friends at all there, all of his friends are going to a local school.
His school is really far away 50-60 mins by transport and he is not used to walking alone or using the public transport at all.
I have seen most problems between the kids happen after school at pick up time as there are a lot of fights and things like that, I'm a bit worried about the high school behaviours.
The area of the school is really quiet after 5pm especially in winter nights and that's a worry for us as well.

OP posts:

Katenka · 09/03/2016 07:01

Then drive him. I bet loads will be dropped off. That won't single him out as different.

You may find he settles well and wants to get the bus in a few months. Might take longer for him to be confident.

Getting a bus in with a parent isn't a great idea imo.

What time does he finish? 5pm sounds late for secondary. Dd only finishes that late if she has rehearsals.

Even after school clubs finish at 3.30/4pm.

angelicjen · 09/03/2016 07:05

Try not to worry. Yes some stuff happens after school but you can usually predict who it will involve. No one is going to pay any attention to a little year 7 making his way home. A year with his mum would get attention! In a couple of weeks he'll probably figure out who of his new friends is going the same way. Would it be possible for him to cycle?

louisejxxx · 09/03/2016 07:06

I would maybe do the first day or two in the transport with him (unless it's specifically a school service in which case I'd be surprised if you were allowed).

Why would he still be in the school area at 5pm?

Have you asked his opinion on any of this at all? That is what's most important.

Original poster

Sani1 · 09/03/2016 07:24

Thank you all.
They finish at 4:30 and with after school club at 5:00pm.
He thinks with his still baby mind 😭 it's the normal way is to go with us and he thinks I we will most of the time drive him in the morning and when he finishes at 5 mostly his father will pick him up whether by transport or car.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 09/03/2016 07:26

Can I ask-if the behaviour is so bad why is he going to a school so far away? And if it's an hour on public transport you'll be spending 4 hours a day taking him and picking him up- not sure how that would work.....

Katenka · 09/03/2016 07:37

bert our bus into our local town takes 50 mins, but is a 10 drive by car.

It's possible the bus route is just a long one, maybe?

Original poster

Sani1 · 09/03/2016 07:49

Exactly by the car it's just 20 mins.
I'm not talking about his school behaviours, it is a very good school, I'm talking generally about the high school boys and how they can be specially when they are 15/16 years old with the 11 years old boys that worries
me a bit.
My son is very quiet, and he's really bright and values his education so much, and he's never been into any fights.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 09/03/2016 07:54

Sorry- I thought the OP was talking about going on public transport with her son. Dropping off by car is surely no problem at all? We live rurally and I dropped DS off and picked him up in year 7- in year 8 he was more confident about he train and the walk so I stopped. I still have to collect him if there's matches or rehearsals- and there's usually a gaggle of his friends begging for lifts the 200 yards to their houses.......

No walking up to the door carrying his lunch box, though! But I'm still puzzled as to why you would choose a school with bad behavior an hour away...........

mudandmayhem01 · 09/03/2016 08:06

Do you really think that 15/16 boys fight/ bother 11 years old. Even in a rough school that would not be cool. The older students in my school are kind ( maybe a little patronising ) to little uns.

Katenka · 09/03/2016 08:17

Sorry- I thought the OP was talking about going on public transport with her son.

It's me that missed your point. Yes if op goes on the bus it will be four hours for her.

She is talking about doing both. I just don't get why they don't go by car, everyday. Avoids the problems both her son are worrying about. But doesn't single him out.

Original poster

Sani1 · 09/03/2016 09:16

Thank you.
No the school is excellent, I was just talking in general.
We don't mind driving him everyday but there are some circumstances when it's not possible to do so and can only go by public transport that's why I was asking.
Does it make a difference between mum and dad, I mean if his father goes with him does that make a difference and less embarrassing?

OP posts:

Katenka · 09/03/2016 09:39

Not really. No.

Any pupil turning with up or being met by a parent will attract attention.

As I said I take dd. Technically there is a bus she could catch in theory. Takes 40 mins then a 20 minute walk from the bus stop.

She has to be at school for 8am. So it would mean leaving around 7am.

If the odd occasion we couldn't take her. I would definitely send her alone on the bus. I wouldn't catch it with her.

She has been at secondary since September and is the youngest in the year.

There are no fights outside school and the trouble you talk about. The area around the school is busy when the kids leave at 2.30pm then when the after school clubs finish at 3.30pm and 4pm.

You seem really anxious about this. You say it won't be often. By the time it does happen, he may be really unhappy at the thought of you getting the bus or meeting him from school.

Is he picking up on how anxious you are?

BertrandRussell · 09/03/2016 09:44

San- why do you think bad things will happen?

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