Year 7 Starters

[pippistrelle]

The new uniform is all ready, pens and pencils bought, as many of the practicalities that I can deal with now have been dealt with. So, just a few days to go. Daughter is getting nervous and, to be completely frank, I am a bit too. Not because I don't think she'll be fine but because, well, change can be daunting.

Anyone else at that stage too? Or, if you're already past this phase, how long did it take until you all settled in to a new routine?

(Couldn't spot any other general Year 7 threads, but apologies if there are any others already.)

I was bullied as a child. The first time, you think its not me, its them, but it leaves you feeling vulnerable. But the second time, you do wonder if maybe its made you timid in a way that gets on a would-be bully's nerves?

Talking only about myself now, I often wondered if people with bullying personalities could find me in the way that aggressive dogs can sense when someone is scared of them, and then they bark at you?

They've done a lot of work on what makes some kids a "bully magnet" - a lot is in their body language and almost imperceptible. Keeping your head completely still is a sign of dominance and confidence apparently.

Var - yes. There's an instinctive desire in humans to rank who is top middle and bottom. Hence the Inbetweeners in the middle.

Iguana, that makes me wonder if sport or exercise could help. Things like getting kids into dance, swimming, whatever they like. Just to improve their posture and body confidence. (Not that the onus should be on the victim to change, but anything to help.)

Yes possibly. People have an innate level at which they feel comfortable though. Some don't want to be top dog. Some are quite happy pootling along "at the bottom" of the pecking order, as long as they're not being picked on

I've read similar stuff about confident body posture, and also tone of voice apparently. DD is physical tall and athletically built, as she plays a lot of sport to quite a high level.

She's also inherited her Mum's slightly very sarcastic turn of phrase. She's never had a problem with being bullied. And I do know she stepped in last term to stop a friend (lad from her old junior school) getting teased on the bus by older lads. Apparently the older boys shut up pronto.

DS couldn't have had a better first two days, it's been wonderful. And he hasn't lost anything!

Sorry for those that are worried about bullying :-( must be awful.

Don't blame yourself, Persephone.

What I meant was that people who are badly bullied end up blaming themselves, so then not trying to stop it, and maybe predatory people can sense that vulnerability. Sorry to sound so down, I'm convinced every bullied person can learn to stop blaming themselves, but can be hard habit to break. Don't be afraid to be a right Dragon Mother about your own child's situation.

In my son's case it's having the audacity to be autistic that causes him to be singled out - although that said, there are quite a few other pupils with ASD at his school and he still seems to be the one that gets picked on the most.

Have to say though, it might feel like it's just him, but his main bully was excluded last term for physically attacking and humiliating a younger pupil and I do know he's had a go at other pupils as well. It's clearly the bully's problem, but he did have a knack for being able to pick out the most vulnerable individuals.

The lad that bullied him in primary school quickly found another autistic child to pick on in secondary school, although that time he came off worse than his victim.

Ds1 insists it's safest to keep your head down and not look at anyone else (eye contact is an issue for him anyway though) but I think that might be what singles him out. The other lads are messing around, joking, jostling each other and he's trying to look invisible - which makes him stick out like a sore thumb.

He's gone in a lot happier than usual on his first day back today, just knowing his main bully is no longer at the school has made a huge difference to how he has faced his return to school this year. There is still another lad that uses ds as his verbal whipping boy though and the school are being monumentally crap at dealing with that.

I played ds the Gaz Brookfield, anti-bullying song this holiday too and that's given him hope that it won't always been like this. There are quite a few famous and very successful people in the video, admitting they were bullied at school and went on to be happy and successful. but ...

Ds2 got off ok for his first day this morning. He was up ridiculously early and ready to go half an hour before he needed to go out, then sat on the sofa looking anxious.

He'd arranged to meet friends on the corner (30 seconds from our house) at 8.00, he went out at 7.55 and should have been there by 25 past at the latest, but text at 8.35 to say he'd just arrived (they have to be in registration for 8.40). I suspect someone they were meeting was probably late.

Bless him, he ran to the corner. I shouted that he didn't need to run. He stopped and said ok - then ran on!

I think he's more excited than scared.

By contrast, ds1's taxi got stuck in traffic and was half an hour late. Fortunately they have two less pupils on board this year and he was the last pick-up, so they should still have arrived on time.

That video actually made me quite teary. I was verbally bullied in school and it is affects me now, my dd has just started in my old school and it was really hard for me to have to walk back inside the place.
The real test was the new parents meeting when one of the worst bullies approached me (I didn't actually recognise her) and acted all sweetness and nice, I just wanted the earth to swallow me up. I was polite but in a sort of round about way I feel she walked away knowing exactly what I thought of her (hard to actually explain it).

Sorry if it upset you allwornout. It made me cry the first time I saw it too, but in a good way, as it reminded me that there is hope, that I/we aren't alone and there is life after bullying. Perhaps it never completely leaves you, as evidenced by the people holding up their pages, but it doesn't have to define you and you won't be a victim all your life. That's what I wanted to get across to my dcs, that no matter how bad it feels now, it doesn't define them and they are going leave it behind and have great lives in spite of it.

Don't worry moosemama, I think things like that will always make me a bit teary but as you say it is actually also in a good way. When I saw that bully it made me feel better in myself, that I was a somebody, confident, happy, made something of my life etc She was a nothing to me.

Ah - so you are the bigger wo-man then allwornout0.

Sitting here waiting for ds2 to arrive home. Haven't a clue what time to expect him really. They finish at 3.30, but I guess they have to work their way out of the building and through the crush of other pupils before even starting to walk - and as it took them 35 minutes to do a 20 minute walk this morning, it's anybody's guess.

Well after an hour and a half of admin/paperwork for 3 dcs at 3 different schools, I finally have two minutes to come on and report that ds2 had a good first day.

Seems he wasn't almost late this morning after all, in fact they arrived half an hour early, so retraced their steps to kill some time. They were then met by a senior pupil who stayed with them until school opened and they were praised for being keen to get there. He claims the text must have been delayed, but I suspect he forgot to send it until they went through the gates and that reminded him.

He's very impressed with the dining facilities. Chose pasta from some sort of pasta bar place today and was absolutely stuffed to the gunnels, so lunch was only £1.95 including the drink.

He arrived home bright red and covered in sweat, desperate for an ice-lolly, but, fingers crossed, no foot, ankle or other joint pain.

Phew a successful 1st day here.. DD knows 3 people in her form and has made another 5 or so friends too.. She did moan that it was such a long day (it's only 5 mins more than juniors), but lunch is an hour later..

She loved it but isn't so keen to do it all again tomorrow ;-)

Good to hear of another successful first day Heifer. Ds is exhausted. Not so sure he's going to be getting up and dressed without prompting tomorrow, like he did today.

ds1's school is, as usual, in complete chaos. Fantastic for a school that has a large cohort of pupils with ASD - not.

moosemama that's Pasta King he had

That's it Iguana, couldn't remember what he said it was called. Said it was very nice and filling, but they only have one vegetarian sauce. Very impressed at the price. They have a £4.00 a day allowance and you have to go through a right faff to get that lowered, so I'm glad he's being sensible.

Two out of three of my dcs had pasta for lunch today, when I was planning pasta for tea - the other one had my back up plan meal.

They normal have a few choices and there is often grated cheese as well. Kids love it and it's really filling too.

He certainly enjoyed it and said he was fit to bust it was so filling.

Not so impressed that having looked on ParentPay we have been overcharged 10p. Cost of meal they've logged him as having eaten adds up to 10p less than the amount taken from his lunch account.

As you're a secondary teacher, can I possibly ask at what point the school has the timetable for the incoming year's pupils ready? This is relating to ds1's school, not ds2's.

Do you mean for next year?
We start looking at the timetable in January but it can only really be finalised after May 31st which is the deadline for teachers to resign before September.

For 6th form the timetable is normally being done right up till the last minute as incoming y12s sometimes change their minds after their results come out, and y13s as well.

Email them about the overcharge - they will sort it but it's so manic at the start of term so give it a few days.

Dd seems happy enough started last Wednesday..journey on train is fine had her first delay today. She moved up with one boy and two girls she knows but has given the girls a wide berth as there were some issues over the summer holiday other girls calling her up.saying they'd been nasty She buddies up with the boy (I'm friends with his Mum) on the journeys.She then doesn't feel left out. It is early days but she really needs to find some friends that are as quirky and beautifully innocent as her..She said she was wondering round on her own at lunch she has made friends with a boy who was previously home schooled and they.spent the weekend texting which is sweet. Singing lessons she enjoys as she shares with a Year 8 who she looks up to.

Anyone else soo over the sticky back plastic and the book covering

Thank you. That's what I thought. Ds1's school, as a result of him really struggling with the Autumn term every year, with dropping grades and time off due to anxiety, agreed at his Annual Review to a carefully managed transition into his next year, including us being given his timetable before the end of the summer term, so that we could prepare him in advance.

Lots of broken promises later ("We'll get it to you next week." "They're just finalising it, you'll have it tomorrow." "We're working through the summer so will get it to you asap." etc) they were still unable to give it to us as of last Friday afternoon.

First day of term today. We're told by email that they have implemented a planning/prep period in place of period 6 for all pupils, but the timetable he was given clearly shows lessons every day during that period, except for a prep session on Fridays. He also has two subjects on his timetable that he doesn't take and teachers' names missing from certain subjects. The whole thing is a complete mess and that's without taking into consideration the fact they were supposed to be preparing him early for this year's transition.

Conversely, ds2's provisional timetable was available at induction day, along with a provisional homework schedule and this morning the final copy was ready and waiting for him. Each pupil was given a named copy and it all makes sense.

Ds1's school has been struggling for the last couple of years, but exam results have remained high. This year they don't appear to have published their results either. Last year's SENCO was brilliant and really turned things around for ds, but they left at the end of the year, we were told the new one had been appointed, but now, despite repeated requests no-one will tell us the name and contact details for the current SENCO.

I am getting more and more worried about the state they're in, but there is literally no other choice of placement for him. Honestly, we have had so much stick from people about him being in an independent school by the LA, but the reality is a million miles away from what they think it's like.

Re the overcharge - thought I'd wait and see what happens. It is only 10p, so won't break the bank, but if it keeps happening I will have to deal with it.