Boarding school suggestions for bright (but not very motivated) girl

[foreverintraining]

We are looking at 13+ (or 14+) boarding school options for DD. She is an avid reader who reads practically anything with words on it, from classic novels to maths mysteries to our parenting handbooks. While she is definitely bright, her grades do not reflect that except for the subjects she enjoys.

She has a lot of energy but not sporty because she's unfortunately rather uncoordinated like me. Our friends comment that she is confident, an independent thinker and will be happy anywhere because of her easy-going temperament.

Right now, she's in a top school in Hong Kong with a lot of very driven kids or kids with very driven parents and her confidence is slowly being eroded because of her grades. While she has a handful of good friends, a lot of kids cannot understand her quirkiness, sense of humour and non-conformist attitude, as a result she also feels a little out of place. DD is also a non-sequential visual learner which makes learning in a traditional big class environment a little challenging.

We (incl. DD) would like to find a boarding school that is nurturing, but academically strong with teaching staff who are able to encourage and stretch (and push if necessary) her to her fullest potential. DD specifically says that she wants peers who are willing to help each other, both in school work and in growing up. A good community service programme will be a bonus. We'd prefer a school that offers IB or Pre-U in the sixth form.

The schools we are considering are:

CLC
Downe House
Sherbourne for girls (but concerned about the distance)
Oundle (will it be too big? Plus co-ed...)
Christ's Hospital (absolutely love the ethos)

Would really appreciate any feedback/suggestions. Thank you!

I've experience of the HK international schools and would recommend Badminton School which is in Bristol. Outstanding school with the ethos that you seem to be looking for.

Forever As Yeats said and most British Schools would agree "Education is not the filling of the pail but a lighting of the fire". I think you would find what you are looking for at most Boarding Schools, however they do all differ in character, so it is really a question of where your DD would be most happy and actually going to the schools is the best way of finding out. CLC is much bigger than most of the schools mentioned here and that is a factor to take into account but as I say my experience is of happy and stimulated girls and sound educational strategies. It is certainly not as pressured as WA for instance. I would also saddo not be influenced by results, if a school can get its brightest A*s then it will enable your DD to fulfil her potential.

Have you thought about staying in HK and switching to an ESF or Kellett, Or the new Harrow outpost. I know there is pretty desperate pressure on places
but there are leavers after Year 8 and you would certainly find that sort of stimulation, aren't South Isand on some crazy but possibly inspired new exam free curriculum?

Happy yes it is hideous but how much of that hideousness is down to parental anxiety and how much to the requirements of the schools is debatable especially for the girls schools where you do find lots of bright untutored girls like my DD getting in, in spite of her appalling primary education (actually the happiest and most stimulating three years of her entire education). The 13 + entry to the boys schools does seem to require crazy amounts of preparation. What they do with those boys I don't know since many would be capable of getting A* in 10 Gcses on the day they arrive...... And my experience of Bryanston was up to last term, they must really be dancing on their feet

Hurstpierpoint College is a Day , Flexi and weekly boarding school.
They have a challenge grade system ( sent out 3wkly)- that encourages personal best and more!
It's a happy friendly school , well regarded locally- read Tatlers review.
Has IB and A levels in the Sixth Form

Poison it's always interesting how different parents have different experiences. My DS school sometimes comes under criticism from some because of the significant variation between houses but unsurprisingly it's not the only one.
Our friends and apparently a couple of other parents (London based) were clearly dissatisfied with the boarding arrangements at Bryanston and the lack of full boarders and removed their DC's, you tell a different story.
I wonder if it's just differences between houses/year groups or expectations or perhaps most likely bit of both.
Perhaps a child/patent from HK's idea of quirky is different from that of a child from the UK. I always say one mums pushy is another mums high expectations.
It just shows you how you need to where possible visit schools yourself and decide whether you like it not simply go on what others think.
Schools need to be more honest with parent I know large sums of money are involved and the vast majority struggle to fill every vacancy but ultimately the wrong child in the wrong school with unhappy parents in the background cannot be very desirable from a schools point of view.

"they have a challenge grade system (sent out three weekly) that encourages personal best and more."
A perfect example of something that I am completely uninterested in. I struggle to access the termly report and don't have any desire to receive any more info. It's the schools job to sort out this kind of thing IMO. But others feel differently. As I always say if this sort of thing matters to you or golf courses, polo lessons or Sanskrit IGCSE ask before you stump up a sizeable deposit securing a place.

Challenge Grade System is for the student- it encourages self motivation.
It works well- value added at Hurst is excellent.

Summer..

I agree with you whole heartly about being the only one. Although from the feedback I have from my daughter is that each subject she takes seems to have four or five girls that are especially good at it.

The reason why we didn't want a hot house school is because she didn't respond well to learning to the exam paper. I know at priorsfield it is done so the girls remember not just for the exam but for life.

I would also suggest OP to look at the schools available. Then decide on...

1. School ethos does it fit your DD's character
2. Exam results does the school provide adequate teaching. Most importantly will they recognize when your DD has problems and resolve them.
3. Pastoral care is nothing to be scoffed at. There will be times when the boarding mistress will need to administer. The all important hot chocolate and a talk.
4. School and parent communication. Issues can be resolved easily.
5. No of boarders the more the better. Although we found that friendship circles can be made easily outside them too. It is lonley and we do get facetimed when her boarder friends go home. She tends to goto her uncle's when that happens. They do try to negotiate so no one is left alone in boarding
6. Airport run. If you are thinking of letting her fly back to HK at Christmas, Easter and for the Summer. Then maybe for the half terms she will be most likely travelling alone. The only real options are BA, CX or VS. All arrive at Heathrow. We ruled out VS as she is unwilling to travel with a chaperone. Yes Priorsfield girl's are very independent. VS requires chaperone up to the age of 18. We ruled out CX due to the expense. So BA is the only viable option. We are lucky her uncle doesnt mind waking up at the crack of dawn to pick her up at 5am. Something you will need to talk to your Guardian about. You will never get to match the boarders return to the date you fly in.

When leaving you have the option of taking a taxi direct to the airport. Hence a close proximity is preferable.

7. hmm then look at food, laundry and facilities.

I hope this helps we didn't know the airport run until it was to late. its a good job her Uncle loves her enough to pick her up.

Oh and being through the grind of HK education with my daughter. I do truly understand why you want to leave too. The endless rounds of tutoring. Then the endless homeworks. The disheartening attitude of the teacher if your DC doesn't hit 100%. The 11 pm rush to finish the homework. Having no friends as they are just competitors. Then add to that she asks questions that slows the class down becuase she doesn't understand. The rest being tutored to an inch of thier lives. Yes I have to say my DD doesn't miss it one bit.

She has close friends who don't care about her results.

Hia3 I know what a "challenging grade system" or similar titles is, schools that do this kind of thing often inform parents as well, a friend was accessing her DC's three weekly grade average/effort marks on the internet the other day. I personally never see the point of this especially if you child is a full boarder. But I know other parents like very regular information about progress etc. we are all different.
OP Kenlee makes a good point about travelling home, at DS's school they are not allowed to leave even a day early to fly home the school want them either to go on the day term ends or even a day or two later, whereas I know some schools will let those with long flights go home even 3-4 days before the end of term. A friend with a DC at another school was slightly surprised when the school told her that her DC could not fly home on the flight she'd already booked her on too, 6 days before the end of term, after some negotiation they agreed but only this time. It's worth asking any prospective school what their view on this will be.

I'm truly very grateful for all your replies! We used to joke about the amount of prep some pre-nursery kids get before kindergarten interviews that these little ones should be able to get a job and pay for their school fees from kindergarten onwards.
We will be visiting a few schools this february hence the question on potential schools, because logistically we cannot visit more than 5, not to mention the brain cramp afterwards.
Thanks, kenlee for the list of very detailed and practical questions to ask. I'm glad it has worked out very well for your DD in her school.

forever I do think the Heathrow connections are another advantage of choosing a school with a larger overseas contingent. Some of the parents I know we're forking out for eye watering taxi fares to Heathrow.

CLC run a coach, the only disadvantage is it may be hours before the flight you have booked, not a problem if someone can pop by and take them for lunch but less so if they are sat alone though there will always be a few travelling back to HK.

And yes to the Virgin witches in red staff who clearly signed up for the cool vibe, not to be assigned to the accompanied minors. They also make you queue for the special check in alongside those taking a flight very popular with people who are travelling with small houses for luggage, and won't let you jump the queue until your gate is closing, all very intimidating even for a 16 year old without an assertive adult (actually quite intimidating for an assertive adult). Virgin are often the cheapest though, and Sir Richard himself assured me this is not up to their usual standards of service and things will change so maybe they have

poison....

No it hasn't changed .....My DD said she would rather stay at her friends house than fly back with Virgin. She flew back Oct half term.

I really don't blame her. It left me seething every time and that was just getting them checked in.

Forever - I would revisit sevenoaks. Couple of children from HK sounding rather like your DD relocated and are thriving. Very good pastoral and very nuturing.

forever - just noticed no-one has mentioned ampleforth . Few expats from HK in each year so would have travelling buddies, also fantastic outdoor pursuits - not necessarily sport related.

Maybe cheltenham college i/o CLC
Kenlee- made me :) my DD is loving having school "friends" for the first time i/o competitors.

savvyblanc, I suppose I should discard my Sevenoaks prejudice... Plus DH suddenly declares IB option is a must

That simplifies things for you , CLC, St Edwards, Sevenoaks (most competitive to get in). Headington is a very good school and although mainly day and weekly boarding has an increasing number of overseas.

Don't want to put the cat among the pigeons but Sevenoaks really empties out at the weekends. I think there are only 2 girls and 2 boys boarding houses for children between 13-18. If you turn up in the sixth form as a boarder you go into the international house which would be great, but at 13/14 you would be in one of the girls houses. It's a very local 'school' with an international ethos. I love the ethos but decided against it for my DS as we do not live locally.

nobody has mentioned Leighton Park. It is coed and it certainly has a fair amount of quirky children. They do full board and it is very near Heathrow.

Has anyone mentioned Quuenswood at Potters Bar, Hertfordshire. Quite a large Chinese contingent, not too pushy and enough boarders to have things to do. Closer to Heathrow than lots of schools being mentioned and although it is sporty, not every girl has to be because there are lots of other activities on offer. Music is fun there and lots of Chinese girls do well at the school. Pretty easy to get into. Definitely worth a look.

Hmm I see most are suggesting a school with a high HK Chinese contingent. We actually bucked the trend and found the most local school we could find with the least number of HK chinese.

There is a reason to our madness. We wanted DD to have a regional accent. DD's friends all speak in English. Therefore by listening and speaking it will be done without thought. It has worked better rhan we have thought. Unfortunately to well in that her cohort of friends contain no Chinese. We have always believed in ' when in Rome do as the Roman's do'.

It may also be a consideration as being with HK Chinese may not allow her to be able to break the competitive cycle.

We as post Tiger parents realized our DD neeDS real friends. She needs to have a childhood with good memories. She needs to have fun. Yes she needs to get her A's that goes without saying. We are Chinese afterall.

footnote....

DD being Anglophillic does not mean she is not into Kpop and all the other silly HK fads. The internet is a powerful thing. She even influenced her Russian friend.

OP you say that your daughter whilst being above average academically would also like some community service and other interests rather than sport, You mentioned Oundle, have you had the prospectus? They have a marvellous Voluntaries Programme which all children are involved with and the largest selection of non-sport activities I have ever seen which are thoroughly encouraged! My DCs are very sporty so opposite to you, this option was most pleasing as they will have to develop other interests rather than just sport! We felt that there was an amazing camaraderie within the school, I too was terrified it would be too big but it certainly doesn't feel like it when you visit. All my friends who have DC at Oundle have been really pleased and they all say that the not so bright (my Dcs) are stretched and the brighter really shine! If she likes reading the Oundle library will be mind blowing for her, it really is quite exceptional!

One ex-Oundle parent gave the school quite a bashing on MN a few months back so not many Oundle parents come onto the boards now. We investigated it fully before making our decision and it seemed to us to be very much a case of 2 sides to every story (but only side was heard)!

Without anyone saying I am being biased, I don't have a huge amount of experience of the other schools mentioned so can't comment!

My DCs will be joining from a long way away too but now they have visited the school neither of them are worried and are really looking forward to the massive opportunities offered.

I had similar thoughts. One thing my DD's HK Chinese friends found on the rounds of the schools was that they varied in the way they handled the mix of overseas students. As they were girls who had been in British system schools, used to having friends from all cultures and did not have Mandarin or Cantonese as a first language they did not want to be in schools where the Mandarin or Cantonese speaking pupils were going to stick together and speak in Mandarin and Chinese. Unfortunately some schools seem to implicitly endorse that, even in one case (not a school on OPs list) sending them off in a group made up solely of other Chinese students applying who though coached to speak in English in front of staff reverted to Cantonese the minute their backs were turned, and they were put off going there. It is something to look out for at visits. As I said in my original post CLC have in the past made considerable effort to seek advice on best practise that integrates the pupils together whilst respecting different cultures but not being afraid to not tolerate it becoming cliquey.

Large boarding schools like CLC do have a very sizeable proportion of international Asian and other pupils. However there are many fulltime boarders who are from the UK.
My impression Poison is that the younger international girls are when they start in these schools the more likely they are not to cluster together in friendship groups (whether HK or Nigerian or other). However the older DCs (presumably from sixth form entry) do seem to cluster socially. Perhaps because they are not really interested in joining in with the partying social scene of some of the English /London set that also predominates in these schools? That does n't mean they won't integrate in school activities.
From Forever's point of view even in the sixth form should her DD do IB with a humanities focus I suspect she will be in groups with a wider cross- section of pupils than the maths / science specialists.
BTW community service programme is an integral part of what most independent schools offer, usually a couple of hours or half day per week.

As Pepperpot said Oundle did get a tarnished reputation on Mumsnet for its pastoral care recently. There are always some more or less vocal dissatisfied parents at each school but it does create a wariness when these views are aired on a public forum. Some boarding schools are less good at dealing with non straightforward pupils or teenage dilemmas despite similar marketing talks about the importance of pastoral care. That may be counteracted by the personality of the boarding house team.