Boarding school suggestions for bright (but not very motivated) girl

[foreverintraining]

We are looking at 13+ (or 14+) boarding school options for DD. She is an avid reader who reads practically anything with words on it, from classic novels to maths mysteries to our parenting handbooks. While she is definitely bright, her grades do not reflect that except for the subjects she enjoys.

She has a lot of energy but not sporty because she's unfortunately rather uncoordinated like me. Our friends comment that she is confident, an independent thinker and will be happy anywhere because of her easy-going temperament.

Right now, she's in a top school in Hong Kong with a lot of very driven kids or kids with very driven parents and her confidence is slowly being eroded because of her grades. While she has a handful of good friends, a lot of kids cannot understand her quirkiness, sense of humour and non-conformist attitude, as a result she also feels a little out of place. DD is also a non-sequential visual learner which makes learning in a traditional big class environment a little challenging.

We (incl. DD) would like to find a boarding school that is nurturing, but academically strong with teaching staff who are able to encourage and stretch (and push if necessary) her to her fullest potential. DD specifically says that she wants peers who are willing to help each other, both in school work and in growing up. A good community service programme will be a bonus. We'd prefer a school that offers IB or Pre-U in the sixth form.

The schools we are considering are:

CLC
Downe House
Sherbourne for girls (but concerned about the distance)
Oundle (will it be too big? Plus co-ed...)
Christ's Hospital (absolutely love the ethos)

Would really appreciate any feedback/suggestions. Thank you!

Have you been in touch with the HK group of parents with children in Boarding Schools in the UK? I am sorry not sure who runs it now but a good source of advice. I do think it is useful to pick a school where you know that there will be a few getting the coach to Heathrow / plane. I was Guardian to some Hong Kong pupils at Boarding Schools here but they have now left.

My experience of CLC was very positive. Very good at communication and understanding the needs of expat children, and managing the mix of UK /overseas pupils, they actually took advice from the ESF schools on that strategy. It didn't seem especially competitive, especially in comparison to the more competitive schools in HK, and I don't understand the comment about the HK pupils being good at Maths / music, a stereotype perhaps because none of the girls I knew who went there fitted it! Actually quite a popular choice with the teachers I knew in HK. It feels like the most normal of the Boarding Schools, the girls walk home to their Boarding Houses after school and it has the feel of a solid academic day school.

Down tends to switch off HK parents, it is very much an English girls' boarding school.

Bryanston is largely a local school, most pupils will be from the area or London. There will only be one or two from HK, but it is good for the quirky pupils, lots of outlets for creativity. The Chairman at Kellett had his girls there until they built the secondary and that would be a good comparison.

I think at one time Bryanston had a reputation for being very liberal thus suiting the more quirky but the current head seems to have made a very concerted effort to change this. Our friends who are a pretty quirky family found it a rather conventional school that has realised to fill it's vacancies it need to be less quirky and more flexible in it's approach to boarding. London based they said transport links often provided by the school were excellent especially for exeats etc but the complete lack of of full boarders at weekends left their DC and couple of others who remained in bored and lonely after games on saturday afternoon through to Monday morning. They had no strong criticism of the teaching in general or the what the schools offers in terms of extra curricular activities but remained I felt slightly underwhelmed and they rather sadly wondered if they had wasted their money particularly as they wanted and needed a full boarding school apparently a view taken by a few others who wanted full boarding.

Poison CLC is a bit more selective than Downe House but as you say also has a wider range of abilities than say WA. I think it has girls with lots of different talents and certainly a very sizeable international contingent. However academically I am not convinced that it is good at bringing out the best out of somebody more quirky academically, it seems a bit conveyor belt academically. Downe House has less international pupils but I just get the impression better at letting somebody develop outside the academic mould It also does preUs which appear more interesting syllabus-wise.

I also recommend St Edward's and Corfe house - although most of the houses are lovey. It's definitely a full boarding school and has a good mix of overseas as well as UK boarders. Day pupils in minority.

happy I was Guardian to a HK pupil there and by HK standards it is still a quirky school. They were full boarders there too and though it is true many went home there seems to have been enough going on for them not to be wanting to get away apart from at Exeat weekends (excellent coach to London stops at Richmond) Yes it is now a safer bet for those who want an academic IB school though I still found it rather more relaxed than is really justified by the competitive environment the pupils are in when they leave eg not bothering to get remarks on AS papers where at other schools they now have a robust process for dealing with the somewhat inconsistent standard of marking these days. There is though a personal tutor that they meet up with regularly to review progress and certainly in my experience they were pretty clued up on where things were going wrong, too much Facebook etc However the outlets for those wanting to get involved with music, drama, art etc were really excellent which is why I would put it on the list if that was what you want.

summer I think it is the culture that turns HK parents off Downe, they find it a bit twee, a bit Tatler IYSWIM.

The other advantage of Bryanston is that parents who want a competitive academic school wouldn't touch it with a barge pole and that makes for a more relaxed cohort to be a part of if you are not conventionally academic. I think that is why the coach stops at Richmond for all the escapees from the South West London Indie ratrace

Was this very recently Poison i.e. The last couple of years?
If not I wonder if the school like many is changing, full boarding has limited market in that most UK parents are now a days looking for a more flexible approach to boarding. My friend found her DS was one of only two in his house at weekends and sometimes less than 10 across the whole year group. They wanted and were paying for full boarding so were naturally disappointed. We looked at it for DS1 quite a while ago and after some very specific questions we felt even then that there were very few full boarders.
The problem is that it becomes self perpetuating those who can go home easily do if they are allowed to, then those that can go home with a bit of effort on either their parents or themselves do, then those that can only go home if parents are prepared to give up large chunks of time driving around do so, leaving in those who really can't go home. Astute parents interrogate question schools about actual numbers of true full boarders as schools are notoriously vague about their numbers and when they find that full boarders are in short supply look at the few remaining true full boarding schools.

There you go, I am definitely out of date, I thought Sevenoaks was a pleasant school with great drama and art where laid back kids thrived, probably because a laid back kid from my school went there for sixth form

Poison, I had the luxury of being expat in HK, Singapore and Japan, both my children went to top Int'l schools there. And the Maths curriculum in Far East in average is about a year or so ahead of the UK's and all the PISA results had also confirmed that. And for the able students in the top set, they may even further ahead. So for them to good in Maths comparing with UK students is quite the norm.
Both my DCs are also in top super selective boarding schools, and many of their peers especially from Far East are also amazing in music, it is all down to the very driven parents ferrying them to music lessons (piano or violin) since age five. I'm sure Op can vouch that for me. Hence, she feels the pressure on her DD and need to look for other options.

How about one of the RoundSquare schools?

Poison I would agree that Downe House is n't an international school but it does seem to produce some free-thinking interesting girls.
As you say CLC has the advantage, particularly for older girls, of being in a town and not a campus.

Happy We are looking at 13+ or 14+ for 2016 or 2017. We are also willing to consider year 9 entry at age 14 coz she's a July baby. I know some schools allow that and some don't so this is purely a backup plan. What I like about PreU and IB is the approach to acquisition of knowledge, the methodology and approach which are more akin to what is expected at uni level.

Poison I have talked to quite a few HK parents with kids at UK boarding schools, but they are all in the WA, CLC, Beneden, Charterhouse, DH brand name group, you get the picture... That's why I'm throwing the questions out to this forum to get a view that is less skewed. I don't know about the syllabus differentials between HK and UK but here they do drill the kids, if not in school, then in tutor classes outside of schools: Kumon, Enopi etc. When you do 50 questions/day, you get pretty proficient. Obviously, that's not the case with everyone

Same thing for music, many parents not only sit through the lessons with the kids, but also the daily practice sessions. If not, they pay another teacher to go home to practise with the children. Sometimes I do wonder if I have done DD a disservice by being so laissez faire.

Does she want to come to UK for school? It is a huge upheaval to contemplate at what 11/12. Do you visit your relatives often ? Many schools are competitive environments in themselves.

Xpat My daughters were also in Hong Kong International Schools which is why when we returned I acted as Guardian to quite a few of their peers, and helped them with the preparation for Common Entrance. All the children I was Guardian to had left HK schools that followed British Curriculum, the ESF schools, FIS, Kellett etc. They were actually leaving their HK schools for similar reasons to OPs DD, especially the transient nature of the cohorts and the competitive nature of some of the more driven students, so I hope I can offer OP some insight. They were therefore at exactly the same level as pupils in an outstanding UK state school. I don't doubt that CIS, SIS, the Swiss German etc move on in Maths in response in part to the considerable parental pressure nor that students from Hong Kong (of whatever ethnicity) may be good at Maths and /or Music but to say they all are is simply not true. Indeed I and my DD helped a few of them to improve their Maths to the specification of the Common Entrance / CLC's entrance exam.

And you might be surprised to hear that actually I think the pressure put on students in some London Preps to prepare them for the entrance exams for the top day schools is actually even greater than in the International Schools in Hong Kong, even the more pushy ones, some of the boys trying for schools like St Pauls are at 13 studying Maths which is of A level standard. The standard of Maths etc needed to get through the Common Entrance / CLC's own exam at 11 / 13 is actually less demanding than for the top London indies so perhaps that helps explain our different perspectives.

Have you looked at Malvern College? Big international intake so the majority are full boarders; IB or A Level in the sixth form.

It's co-ed though - I don't know if you are set on single-sex?

forever You have definitely not done your DD a disservice. My older daughter's cohort from a non selective HK school, have now finished university, some stayed in HK British System schools, most went to other postings or Boarding School in the UK or US but what they have achieved since school is truly amazing, a ridiculous proportion to Oxbridge / Ivy League etc I do not think it is down to drilling and tiger parenting, but about opening and stimulating minds.

Happy Don't want to out anyone but my experience of Bryanston is very recent.

Actually Happy I do remember there was an issue with one pupil at Bryanston wanting to go home most but not all weekends for sporting competitions but the Housemistress would not allow it. In the end she had to become a weekly boarder which didn't suit the family any more than full boarding and they were complaining that they were put through that stress when other House Mistresses were not as strict, so my experience may not be entirely consistent with those who have experience of other houses.

Poison, of course I'm not surprised, been there and done that, DD was in WA, and DS is in Wincoll. DS sat both entrance of Westminister and Wincoll, so I know what it takes.

May be we were fortunate to be in one of the more pushy school you mentioned in HK and the standard there were a bit higher than ESF which follow British cirruculum, hence we also expected a bit more from our DC in their academic achievements.

I'm sure you are right that CLC may have less demanding entrance exam than some top schools, (but I doubt many trying for these exam will agree) like op say she already feels her DD had confident issue in a group of more able peers and hence affect her result. Sticking her back into the same group may not help.

expat the point I was making to OP was that in my experience CLC does have a wider ability range than you suggest. They set their own exams rather than use Common Entrance precisely because they know what they are looking for, which like a lot of the London schools is focused on ability rather than preparation. OP is not suggesting her daughter isn't bright just not motivated, I do not know if she is bright enough to pass the CLC exam obviously but if she did pass it I am sure she would be fine once there, the girls I have acted as Guardians to there never felt pressured or in a competitive environment, just encouraged to achieve their potential. Once there she will not be surrounded by the same sort of pupils there as in HK

As to what you expect from your child's academic achievement? that would be to fulfill their potential surely? My DD went from one of those "lower standard" schools to be offered places at St Pauls' Girls' School, Lady Eleanor Holles and Godolphin and Latymer, in spite of the low expectations of her academic achievement in HK, and as the mad admissions woman said when she accompanied her friend who was being interviewed at WA, from a school like hers, she would be welcomed with open arms if she wanted to join her friend. There is a difference you know between ability and attainment...... OP's DD may not be doing so well with the latter but may have lots of the former.

CH is full of 'quirky' kids!! Teachers really care about the kids and it obviously doesn't tip out at weekends

First to answer LIZS, yes, DD does want to go to boarding school. She's pretty adventurous and she thinks that it will broaden her horizon. Secondly, on the issue of being with very bright peers, it's a bit of a dilemma and this is perhaps where the school and teachers come in. In her current school, being in a class of 36 students with the teachers hard-pressed to finish teaching the curriculum in a set time, there is very little time for question time or answers that are slightly out of ordinary. Her confidence is suffering somewhat partly because she doesn't know her peers go to many tutoring classes and sleep after 11pm, and partly because very often she gives different answers/perspective from her classmates and gets ridiculed. Since they get the high grades, then she must be wrong. Throughout the years, different teachers have told us that DD has very original thoughts and think in a different way than other kids, but they/the school simply doesn't have the time to handle that. What I'm trying to say is provided the school is nurturing and peer group open-minded, she has no problems being with smart kids, in fact, she will love the stimulation. But if she is expected to just get on with it and other students competitive to the point of unwilling to help or slighting any "wrong" answers, then it would be out of the frying pan into the fire for her. If she attends a school that doesn't stretch or know how to push, she will happily swim at the bottom. That's my dilemma...
Sorry about the long post but I feel I need to explain why we look for academic rigour but not competitiveness.

Poison from listening to my friends very recent experience of full boarding (or not) at Brysnston I suspect it's sadly changed quite a lot from you were a guardian to a child there.
I do agree that some children in London preps are under very considerable pressure. Fortunately we no longer lived in London by the time our DS's were school age but have plenty of friends that do. I was surprised by the level of tutoring from yr 4 onwards that was going on just to get their DC's a place at even a fairly academically selective school. My DS was interviewed for St Pauls as always he'd had little or no preparation from school or us, but whilst sitting in the waiting room prior to the interview we saw terrified 10 and 11 year olds clutching bits of paper and a crib sheet and jumpy twitchy parents giving their DS's last minute advise. The whole thing I felt wasn't helped by SPS itself who told us the the London prep schools only put forward "their best of their best" etc. A mother who we used to know at a London prep sending quite a few to SPS and Westminster told me that boys who are strong candidates for either are grouped from an early age not only academically but socially, as are the mothers of boys especially those who actually get place at one of these two, they jumped up the yummy mummy playground pecking order becoming a bit like royalty
I know there are more applicants than there are places at many London day schools but the whole thing is pretty hideous.

Poison, trust me, I do know the difference between ability and attainment. At the end of the day, op wants her DD to match her abilities with her attainments, finding a right school for her DD is what she wants, but I'm just not 100% sure CLC is the right choice

Not very helpful Forever but if she had been a boy sounds as though she would have loved Winchester. I'm starting to change my mind about how I see her from your later posts, if she has a philosophical, humanities bent she may just need a different syllabus, more extensive curriculum, debating etc to refire her enthusiasm and CLC could suit her best, particularly in the sixth form.
The other co ed that people like here also include Kings Canterbury.