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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Starting Year 13 (number 4!)

999 replies

Mindgone · 05/01/2015 11:02

I just thought I'd get us started up again!

OP posts:
HasSOsm97 · 12/04/2015 18:10

Hi everyone sorry haven't been on here for a while! It's been quite crazy for last few months Hope everyone is fine and dds and sons are all ok, Ok quick up date, dd has four offers but has not firm or assured any thing yet! Time is ticking away only has under 3 weeks to do this! But it seems durham is in the lead still, Also hasn't done SF yet as well! Dd has been locked up in her room revising night and day for IB exams which are the first week of May, dd is finding it very hard she keeps breaking out in floods of tears and keeps panicking, it seems dd has lost her motivation because she doesn't know how to revise anymore, dd keeps on saying she is afraid of not getting into uni and keeps reminding herself of the short time she has to revise! So as you can see a very very stressful house at the moment everyone stepping on eggshells! I have tried everything, candles, cuddles, reassurance, loads of chocolate, this won't be forever quote! Every time I say it's going to be ok dd gets angry and says I don't understand, I know she doesn't mean it because she is so stress but it's so hard to see dd like that, I feel helpless, is anyone else going through the same thing with their dd? Any advice would be helpful thank you, sorry for the long message,

Leeds2 · 12/04/2015 18:43

Just listen to her Has when she needs to talk, even if she isn't making much sense!

Also make sure she has some downtime, where work is completely forgotten about, and that she gets outside for some time every day. Would also encourage exercise, if she is a willing participant.

Littleham · 12/04/2015 19:09

Hi Has They are all different. My year 13 dd is calm and working in her own happy routine.

However yr 11 dd resembles this picture every time I mention exams or revision.

Starting Year 13 (number 4!)
hellsbells99 · 12/04/2015 20:58

This is what my year 12 DD does every time I mention looking at university/courses......

Starting Year 13 (number 4!)
HasSOsm97 · 12/04/2015 21:15

Thank you Leeds2 I spoke to dd and she said yes that's a good idea! Hopefully it works, thank you

hellsbells99 · 12/04/2015 21:20

Has - my year 13 DD had acupuncture last year when she was very stressed. It was recommended to me by another mum whose DS had suffered with stress during his A levels. Another suggestion given to me was yoga. Hope she is okay.

HasSOsm97 · 12/04/2015 21:23

Thank you littleham, dd was the opposite She was so clam with her gcses, but with the IB it's been very stressful she has around 15 exams in two half weeks so that picture is definality her at the moment!

HasSOsm97 · 12/04/2015 21:29

Thank you hellsbells, that picture is what she does at the moment! Going to wait a few more days and maybe mention it to her by text! Dd tried yoga but found it wasn't helpful but I think acupuncture is a good idea cause she doesn't mind needles, can't wait until it's all over then we can get them smiling again!

HasSOsm97 · 12/04/2015 21:40

Leeds2 dd said maybe she may go out for a walk tomorrow only about 10 mintues, Hopefully she keeps it up everyday, thank you

Leeds2 · 12/04/2015 21:48

I hope she goes out, Has. 10 minutes is better than nothing.

AtiaoftheJulii · 12/04/2015 23:31

I think they need downtime too, to let the information bed down in their brains, if that makes any sense. If you're constantly cramming, you lose the sub/unconscious consolidation. That's my theory, anyway Smile

mumslife · 13/04/2015 06:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

muffinmonster · 13/04/2015 08:18

*Has, that sounds like a really tough exam schedule - no wonder she's stressed. Agree that she needs regular short breaks. Could you persuade her to take ten minutes after every hour? Is she eating in her room? Even if she would leave the books for meals (and snacks!) that would be something.

AtiaoftheJulii · 13/04/2015 10:24

Dd2's school had a revision skills session from an external company, and they also did one for parents but I couldn't go, but they emailed us a summary afterwards.

I've copied a bit that seems relevant:

"It is better to work for less time in a concentrated way than to work for longer with less focus.

The optimum time a student should spend revising without a break is 25 minutes. We recommend that students complete three twenty five minute sessions in the morning with a five minute break between each session. This should be followed by up to three further one and a half hour blocks (with five or ten minute breaks every twenty five minutes) in either the afternoon or evening. Students also need to plan “days off” and “treats” within their timetables.

The first 60 seconds should be to work out what they are going to achieve in their session and the final three minutes of each session should be spent simply re-reading the notes they have just made."

Dd2 said that for her 25 minutes is too short, she's just getting started, so she tends to do up to 40 minutes, but the plan is similar - two or three shorter sessions with little breaks, then a longer break, then repeat. She's also making sure to get outside each day.

Dd1 of course knows better, and is sleeping most of the day, spending the rest on the internet/netflix, going to the pub in the evening, and finally sitting up half the night producing beautiful flashcards! (I may exaggerate!)

voilets · 13/04/2015 16:45

My DS did not seem very stressed last year for A2s but it all came out when we went on holiday - he became nervous in a strange place.

I think they all get stressed - at east your DD is telling you she is - she's aware.

Ds did 30 min sessions with breaks in between. Highly concentrated bursts then down time. He also had a few hour sessions with a tutor.It worked!

HasSOsm97 · 13/04/2015 18:50

Thank you Atiaofthejulli, I agree with you my Dd needs more breaks in between because she is going to burn out, thank you for the parents external guide was very helpful as well
Thank you mumslife, violet and muffin monster, she was eating in her room but I spoke to my Dd today and finally she broke down afterwards of lots of talking and lots of listening from me! Dd said she is going to start taking breaks with us and go out for short walks because her happiness is more important, feeling so much more relieved! Thank you to everyone, being a parent is a hard job but the most rewarding one!

seimum · 13/04/2015 19:52

Has - glad to hear your DD is taking breaks and talking to you. Hope it will enable her to calm down, so knowledge can go in. I also always found that doing exam questions was better than just 'learning'.

My DS has the opposite problem - he has done approx. 4 hrs revision this week (maybe 5). OK, his exams are all in June, but that's still not long now..

He had his grade 5 piano exam today, and was quite frustrated that he could 'almost but not quite' play his pieces right. Hope he can transfer the lesson that more practice = improved performance, to his A level work.

NiceCardigan · 13/04/2015 20:17

DS has just got going today (or so he tells me) I think there was too much going on last week but now everyone else has returned home/gone back to uni/gone back to work he can have some peace and quiet and focus on getting some work done. I think the exams aren't till June thing is in effect here too seimum

mumslife · 13/04/2015 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Horsemad · 14/04/2015 09:49

Morning All! Smile
Hope you've all had a relaxing break. Well, this is IT!!! The final push - eeeek Grin Have packed both mine off today and told them to get to every revision class going. They will of course ignore my sage advice!
Final exam here is 24th June, DS1 is the only person sitting it; it will be him and 4 invigilators, lol lol Smile
DS2's last exam is History on 16th June.
The end is in sight... Shock

muffinmonster · 14/04/2015 09:49

Has, so glad you have been able to get through to your daughter. A good job well done. I hope she keep talking to you.

mumslife, 18th birthdays are the work of the devil! DD has been to so many recently. Her own is not until July, so at least she will be able to let her hair down.

hellsbells99 · 14/04/2015 11:46

A level exams should not be in the same year as them turning 18 - it is not compatible!!!!
Mine are still off school this week as they broke up late. DD1 says she has finished the syllabus in 2 subjects but still has a couple of lessons left in Biology. But Empas (science practical exams) start next week so that is more time taken up. DD2 (yr 12) has not finished the syllabus in 3 of her subjects - eek!
DD1's exams finish on 17th June and she is off on holiday the following week with friends. DD2's AS exams finish on 5th June and has to start back to school on 8th June.

Horsemad · 14/04/2015 12:05

DS1 leaves school FOREVER on May 20th Shock Blimey, I remember waiting for 11+ results thinking it was stressful; I had no idea what lay ahead.. !

AtiaoftheJulii · 14/04/2015 14:15

8th May for dd1. That's celebration day, so just 13 proper school days left. Ever. ShockShockShock

She's a bit indignant that they have the May day bank holiday in their last week of school, especially as Mondays actually involve a whole day's lessons for her.

Thirteen days. Not sure any of us are ready for this really.

hellsbells99 · 14/04/2015 14:22

DD1 officially leaves on the 15th May but the leavers ball is early July