Not happy - contraception posters in school toilets and gen noticeboards

[portico]

Not happy when DS communicated to me that so called contraception posters have been placed in school toilets, as part of a supposed school campaign to prevent pregnancies, stds, etc. it is wrong. Does not acknowledging underage sex show crass stupidity in recognising that it exists. Why not have posters to communicate the right reasons for abstinence. Better still, why not remove the posters. Very, very pissed off parents.

Grabs awaits the return of the OP to hear her mad views...

Surly OP if your children were planning to obstain have sex you would want them to be safe?

Portico why do you object to the contraception posters? Your a secondary school teacher you know just how students behave. You know some of them are sexually active so wouldn't you prefer that they had safe sex.

Because abstinence education is fucked up?

All that purity guff and comparing humans girls to chewed gum

You are being ridiculous. SOME under age teens have sex. Whether you like it or not, they do. Better that they have access to information thann not.

How do you suggest the school only put posters in the eyeline of 16+? Have special toilet cubicles just for them??

I think they are highly sensible and as someone said, good place to put them where the info can be written down without seeing.

My friemd's DD is 15 and had an abortion a year ago. Friend has no idea but DD told me. Wish her DD had got proper advice about contraception, posters like these might have meant she did.

Posters promoting abstinence are all well and good but what about those teenagers who will be ignoring them? Teenage pregnancy is an age old issue and posters promoting abstinence are not going to help.

OP surely you remember high school? I definitely remember people openly talking about having sex from year 9 but people were probably doing it earlier. Some teenagers will have sex, a poster is not going to make someone do it, but may help someone who was going to do it anyway.

OP it would be really lovely if you'd explain why pretending underage teenagers don't have sex at all is preferable to educating them how to do it safely if they are going to.

School being very sensible and pragmatic in my opinion. Why is it crass stupidity to recognize that under age sex exists and wrong to recognise it exists? Crass stupidity not to if you ask me. Are you a very very very strict Catholic OP??? And beware OP, if you are ramming the purity message down your children's throats you can bet your bottom dollar they will be sneaking off and having lots of sex.

There is nothing wrong with abstinence or even promoting it but many teenagers will ignore that message so surely better that they are informed about stis, pregnanacy and how to prevent both.

DD2(14) was telling us yesterday that her school goes down the abstinence route for education. DD was totally unimpressed.

She is very up on the issues involved. IHO just pushing the abstinence message is naive. She is very aware that there are students in her year (10) and below who are already sexually active. They are woefully uninformed.

We are more than happy to discuss this with our DCs. IMO brushing this under the rug doesnt mean it goes away. Students need to be informed. They need to be getting good information early and often.

Posters should just be one part of the information. They should be having proper discussion in class. They should be talking about all forms of contraception and their real effectiveness rates (rather different from the lab based theoretical rates). They should be talking about consent. They should be talking about balance in relationships.

I would be annoyed if all they got were a few posters.

Dd2 has just started secondary school, she is a very young 11, she's also seen and read the posters in her school. I am glad because she has come home and asked me questions about what she has read.
I'm not expecting sex to be on the agenda for a few years but I want her to know everything she needs to know before then and if the posters get her thinking and talking then surely that is a good thing?
In the toilets is a great place because the dc have the privacy to read them properly and note down numbers/organisations if needed IMO.
Dd1 had all the information early on too, it didn't send her out experimenting in fact she was almost 19 before she chose to have (safe) sex with a boyfriend. The knowledge she had gave her the power to make her own choices and I would hope that all parents would want that for their son or daughter.

portico:

the teenage pregnancy facts for Britain are stark: www.fpa.org.uk/factsheets/teenage-pregnancy - 3x that of the Netherlands and 2x that of France. 2.7% of under 18s are currently falling pregnant - which is a huge decrease (10% down) from previous years: www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/teenage-pregnancies-in-england-and-wales-are-at-the-lowest-point-since-records-began-9152760.html - what that means in actual numbers I don't know. This is out of date (www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/under16-pregnancy-rate-soars-1632669.html) but it suggests around 8000 under 16 pregnancies.

I can totally understand you may not want to deal with it/ this may not be an issue for your under 16 son - but can you hand on heart say this isn't an issue for his friends/ classmates?

personally I have DDs - and live in Birmingham - a city where the pressure to grow up quick can be very strong - taking precautions/ not rushing into anything - but firmly understanding that 'going all the way' can have consequences (STD/ pregnancy/ social consequences afterwards....) is a conversation I'm starting to gingerly begin to discuss with DD1 (Y7) and posters like these and her own curiosity open the door to her discussing it with me.

Your DS is asking questions - are you really just going to say Not now/ you're too young/ I don't want to deal with it.

Personally I hope that DDs boyfriends will be responsible young men, in no particular rush to 'take it all the way' and are also good friends with my girls - but I also know that all my brother wanted to do was 'score' - and that was from 14/15 and he constantly was interested in girls 2/3 years younger - who thought he was very cool. Oddly enough he dumped them either way - saying yes didn't guarantee his loyalty.

I get that you don't want your little boy to grow up - but I hope as part of the process of raising your son you will want him to grow up and be a responsible partner to his girlfriend/ fiancee/ wife. The timing may be a shock to you - but I suspect in principle ultimately you do want him to take precautions for his own protection, as well as his partner(s) - and to avoid STDs/ unwanted pregnancies (which can be absolutely devastating - disrupting educational progress/ placing financial hardship on young, untrained parents/ requiring young people to grow up quickly/ etc...)

even bright kids shag you know OP

I think there is a difference between the information that is given/available to children of 11 and 12 to that we give to teenagers. Information availability is different from posters is a prominent position. Parents have different views on when and what they tell their children and at 11 and12 they are just out of primary school.

The posters are there specifically for the children of parents like you, OP.

Since he's taken specific notice of them, they are doing their job.

You can't prevent underage pregnancy by pretending underage sex doesn't exist.

Fuck me backwards with a wet fish marking my place whilst I pop out for popcorn

Wow. I'm sorry OP but some of the kids in year 9 and above are having sex. It's pretty commonplace. Better to tell them how to do it safely than pretend it's not happening!

I would rather education before sex rather than deal with an unwanted pregnancy.

Marking my place to witness Noelle's telling off ...

Has Noel been dealt with yet?

The posters sound like a good idea to me.

Much more informative than the graffiti that was on the toilet walls when I was at school.

.

Secondary schools usually offer access to free contraception including MAP and so would your GP! No questions asked, not a care in the world what you think tbh ! Reducing STI's , teen pregnancies and abortion are more of a priority than pissed off parents.

'DS communicated to me...'

Love this turn of phrase
And also waiting with the others for Noelle to be dealt with.

Maybe you could make them some nice new ones, OP. I'm told aspirin's a super effective contraception, if correctly deployed...

YABVVU.