Starting Y13 (y12 support thread contd) - number 3

[Littleham]

Thread continued folks...

DD now has a 2nd interview the day after the first. After looking at the practicalities, I will be driving her and we will stay overnight as the unis are approx 1.5 hours drive from each other and about 4 hours from home.

Excellent hellsbells! When you total up the hours spent studying, attending open days, interviews and offer days, it's staggering isn't it?!

She is going to be missing a lot of school this term! Upto 5 days for interviews, 3 day residential for biology, another biology trip, some maths challenge thing, a days rehearsal for Xmas concert and she has already missed 2 days for D of E. I hope she is working hard!

And imagine what it would be like if you live somewhere remote, and are doing music (plus 4A2s and an EP :( ). I am simply dreading it all. It's going to cost us a fortune (because all the conservatoires and some of the unis audition and we will have to go by train everywhere and likely stay over every time except maybe Cardiff (depending on what time the audition was). I'm deeply concerned that one or more of the auditions will be when I'm overseas for work. Fuck knows what will happen then.

Hi Polka, I agree with others about starting to practice now. Pasta is easy to cook, cheap and filling. Tuna is great but expensive if on a budget. Jacket potato with almost anything can be done in the microwave.

There are other things too, like using a washing machine, basic security, budgeting, etc. that would good to learn about now.

Good luck to everyone travelling all over the place for interviews and auditions.

Rabbit - I was adding up the train fares for these 2 days of interviews and decided to drive! We will also need a hotel. If she get interviews for her other 3 choices at least they are within a couple of hours of home and she could get the train. I am also cursing school for doing a 3 day residential in November when students are likely to be having interviews! 1 of the interviews gave a choice of 3 dates which helped - 2, I couldn't help with due to work commitments. Good luck Rabbit!

Hi Polka - No need to worry. My eldest (now at university in self catering) was completely and utterly hopeless. My fault, as I had been running for years with four small children and pretty much ditched all non essential tasks. She has amazed me by coping with everything.

In the summer before university, I bought three student cookbooks. One of them in particular is amazing, so I can send you a link if you want. She shopped for all the ingredients herself, made some mistakes and over three months built up a number of basic recipes that she could cope with.

There are also a number of residential cookery courses for students, although these tend to be really expensive. Can also send you some links if you want to look at these.

The other thing worth remembering is that they don't have to cook all the time. My dd1 sometimes buys a hot meal in one of the university cafes and makes a sandwich in the evening if she is particularly busy.

DD can bake a mean Victoria sponge and excellent brownies but never wants to do actual proper cooking - I have visions of her living on pancakes and fairy cakes. Maybe she can trade her baked goods for dinners?
Although as it happens, if she gets either of her top two choices she will most likely be living in catered halls for the first year.
Going back to the interview days - obvs if DD gets an Oxford interview we can't go with her but I think for a university where they had laid on stuff for parents and if DD wanted me along I would go - or DH more likely if it was a school day as I am a teacher. Ignore goady people who feel the need to patronise others based on their own limited experiences and do what is right for DD and you.

It is certain universities and certain courses, Mumslife. The interview comes before the offer. DD has had an offer from Warwick for joint honours English and German for instance, but if she had applied for English only she would probably have had an interview first. And Oxford makes you sit an admissions test and then selects for interview (DD and I are referring to these two stages as boot camp and judges' houses.)

Haha boot camp and judges' house, I like that MrsM

As MrsM says it is certain courses that are all interviews and then certain universities too.

I think more don't interview than do but as has already been said, it depends. My dd has several friends with very good offers already & no interview required. As she is applying for medicine it will definitely be interviews before offers. And she'll consider herself lucky to get an interview.

I was half scared to read the messages and responses today I was expecting maybe a few of 'what sort of mum are you?" type replies. Thank goodness you are all understanding with my predicament :) and I'm not the only one. I think I have a bigger problem than I thought?...not only can my dd not cook but has no common sense either!! Today I thought i do something basic I asked her to put a frozen chick&mush pie into the oven on low for 45mins. Thinking this was pretty simple task carried on with my stuff only for the smoke alarm to go off 20 mins later and the kitchen in smoke!! My child had put the pie in the GRILL???. I hold my head in shame........
Atiao- your strategy is something I really need to start thinking about now sooner than later she definatley needs to go up the ranking of responsibility in the house after todays event.
Horsemad- planB is going to be catered halls if I cannot get this girl to cook. When I asked dd how she is going to feed herself at uni, her reply was Monday pot noodle with boiled egg, tuesday pot noodles with sliced ham chucked in. Weds pot noodle with micro hot dog sausage!!Basically instant noodle all week, and that we was not to worry she won't starve there's always. Mc D's.
Hells bells- it would make me so happy if she could make that and it's not the ding ding (microwave) variety.
Fairenuff-you've highlighted other stuff that needs attention operating a washing machine. Im sure she doesnt know how to switch a iron on?? And iron....
Littleham- reading your post give me a glimmer of hope and all is not lost. I'm still working out if my dd is unconfident in the kitchen or is just plain lazy only wants to do convenient food. I'm hoping shes unconfident as can be fixed. Otherwise all the teaching will be fruitless she will be living on takeaways and ding ding foods. If she was a boy i wouldn't feel so bad about the situation. All but one of her uni choices are 2hrs away can't check up on her to see if she's coping with daily chores. Part of me is hoping she can get a unconditional offer at the locally centred uni, but even so my DH says she still going into halls and not living at home we need to be cruel to be kind the girl needs life skills??
Miss M- I live in hope that one day dd will make us cake and it's not Mr kiplings???

Start with the basics Polka - no metal (including foil) in the microwave and no cardboard or plastic in the oven!

Pot noodle plus protein doesn't sound too bad

We might jump on you for the boy comment though, lol! Boys need to look after themselves too

Polkadotty don't worry, she will learn when she has to! Catered halls might be a good start though. Even in uncatered accommodation there is a good range of places to eat on most campuses and you can often get a meal card that gives you a discount if you pay for so many meals in advance.
When she is finished A-levels you might buy her a good student cookbook and get her to cook for the family once a week from it - that is what I plan to do with DD. I also plan to talk her through things like budgeting for food, doing a basic weekly shop etc as even if she does go into catered for first year the likelihood is she will be in a shared house or similar after that.
And frankly if she does choose to live on pot noodles for a bit, that is fine. Once she gets bored with such a limited diet she will start to develop her cooking skills.

one [[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hungry-Student-Cookbook-Charlotte-Pike/dp/1782060065/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1414770423&sr=8-2&keywords=student+cookbook]] looks good actually. I might stick it in DD's Christmas stocking.

Grub on a Grant used to be the standard text I made her chilli many times!

That didn't work too well sorry.

I meant this one although I quite like the look of Sam Stern's book as well. DD has his older books and perfected his lemon drizzle cake several years ago!
I had this one when I was a student! Used to cook dinner for six on a single hot plate with her help.

I did have some interesting conversations with dd1 before she went, when I realised some of the gaping gaps I had left as a mother. For example - Where do I buy light bulbs? She also did the grill / smoking out kitchen thing and the foil in microwave thing.

However no one has surpassed my kitchen disaster, where I set fire to chips and threw the pan in the stainless steel sink, which proceeded to heat up and melt the pipe resting against the underside of the sink, thus causing a massive flood at the same time as a fire!!! What chance do my children have?

Just catching up with everything having been away for a few days.

Littleham, perhaps your kitchen disaster was a kind of surreal lateral thinking - so the flood would help to put out the fire?

Ds is getting fed up of my little "asides" about laundry and cooking! Just like MissMillament's dd, he is a fab baker but actual cooking he finds boring, apparently. He can cook - he just can't be bothered.