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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Right, parents and teachers- this way please. Parent's evening.

103 replies

Hakluyt · 21/10/2014 09:12

What are the killer questions? What have you found has got the information you want from your 5 minute slot.

Teachers- what questions make your hearts sink? Be honest- the chances of any of your parents being in here is vanishingly small! Grin

I was thinking along the lines of "In your opinion, is he working to the limit of his ability?"

OP posts:
Pointlessfan · 23/10/2014 09:29

Asking about "killer questions" really sounds like you are trying to catch the teacher out. Why? Parents evening is a good opportunity to forge good relationships with the school.
I usually ask the pupil a few questions - if they are enjoying the subject, is there anything they find difficult etc and find they are usually very honest. This then forms discuss about what they could do to improve, where to find additional materials etc.
I always try to find something positive to say but obviously will raise any concerns.
If they have an exam coming up I issue the parents with a revision list and I also find it a good time to remind about any important work due, it's amazing how many parents didn't have a clue these things were coming up - DCs obviously doing a good job of hiding it!
If you have any serious concerns it would be better to make an appointment to see the teacher at another time or ask them to call you as 5 mins really isn't long enough for that sort of detailed conversation and all the other parents complain if we start running late!

babybouncer · 23/10/2014 11:35

My mum's killer question was always to my brother just before parents evening. She used to ask him what the teachers were going to say and that she didn't mind as long as she she heard it from him first. He would always spill the beans although the teachers rarely mentioned anything!

cloutiedumpling · 23/10/2014 11:54

babybouncer - I do that with my DSs too. They are surprisingly honest about being too chatty in class.

Mmmfishandchips · 23/10/2014 13:30

Parents evening is also a chance for the parents to let the teacher know how things are going, and to make sure that relevant information is passed on eg dyslexia, how happy child is. i used to enjoy parents evenings as an FE teacher, early ones at the beginning of term are a quick way to find out about the child especially as the ones in my class had generally been failing at last school

ChillySundays · 23/10/2014 13:56

Always asked whether the teacher thought the target was realistic. In general and certainly for the compulsory subject they were. Imagine my surprise on the last parents evening of Y11 to be told by teacher in one subject that that predicted A was never going to happen.

MissMillament · 23/10/2014 15:33

I don't say 'how do you think you are doing?' - I say 'What do you think I am going to tell your parents?' Most of the time they are spot on! I make no apologies for this - at secondary the conversation should be a three-way process. I see the meeting not just as an opportunity to let parents know how their DC is currently performing, but to agree on a 'next steps' approach for the rest of the year. I am always really happy to answer any specific questions and concerns parents OR pupils have - sometimes a pupil will ask me about something they are worried about because they feel more comfortable about doing so with their parents sitting there - so there are no silly questions as far as I am concerned. I would expect, without being asked, to volunteer information about current levels, expected progress, attitude in class, any areas of concern, what they could be doing to extend themselves. If that information was not volunteered, it should be asked for.

carybaz · 23/10/2014 17:20

For primary schools, ask "how are you negotiating the new primary curriculum? Are you making space and time for creative activities?"
If they are just being led by the phonics/testing nose, change schools.
If they are continuing to balance phonics with other methods, stay.
If they say yes they're doing creative work, ask what it is, how they demonstrate to children that it is valued, and how they enable kids to progress. That should take up the first hour. After that you're on your own. (Just kidding)

AtiaoftheJulii · 23/10/2014 22:25

'What do you think I am going to tell your parents?'

Oh, I like that. That would definitely prompt a better response from my lot.

chilephilly · 24/10/2014 06:19

My Y7 parents evening last night:
"Why does Billy have a level 2 in French when he has L5 in Maths?"
"Because he's only just started"
"No he hasn't, he's done 3 years of it in the primary school. "
"The trouble is, the primary schools teach lots of nouns but no grammar. So Billy knows the word for a cat but can't say I like cats"
"Really? I thought they translated Proust"
Repeat x35.

chilephilly · 24/10/2014 06:21

And we do run a sweep on how many parents say "I hated French"

Coolas · 24/10/2014 06:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ladyflip · 24/10/2014 09:31

It's SWANS isn't it?

Strengths
Weaknessess
And next Steps.....

What is he good at? What is he not good at? How can we (child/teacher/parent) progress?

Although i do always ask my DC before I go what the teacher will say. It usually results in some of the most informative conversations about school.

AlaskaNebraska · 24/10/2014 11:50

Oh god there's a fricken acronym for everything

PandasRock · 24/10/2014 12:55

Mine are still in primary, so don't come along to parent/teacher evenings, but I do always ask them what they think the teacher will be telling me before I go.

I've had some very interesting answers to that Grin, especially if I ask what the teacher might like them to improve. That usually gives me so wing good to talk to the teacher about.

Otherwise I find it all a bit if a waste of time, tbh. I've never yet had a teacher point out something I didn't know about my children, and have always had teachers downplaying any issues I raise. I'm not there to talk generalities, but to talk about the specifics concerning my child, so if I mention eg that maths seems to be sliding backwards (and can provide concrete examples of how my child is struggling where they shouldn't be) I hate broad spectrum answers like 'oh, but that is very common in 4/5/6/7/8 year olds/boys/girls/ whatever'. An answer tied to the question I asked, and linked to the child I am talking about is not a lot to ask for.

(Note, I am talking about teachers with a maximum of 15 children, who they see all day every day, here, not subject teachers in secondary who have 200+ children on their books)

bigTillyMint · 24/10/2014 13:55

SWANS - must remember that one!

stellarossa · 25/10/2014 20:24

I really dislike the 'how do you think you're doing' approach. Half the time it seems to be an opportunity for the teacher to tell my child to work harder in front of me and little more….. and surely there must be a better way of organising all those minute slots...

Agggghast · 25/10/2014 20:34

Oh so it is wrong for a teacher to tell the pupil they have to work harder! Perhaps they have been telling the pupil this for months and are now hoping the parents will reinforce it. I can always tell the pupils who will underachieve by the parents. It should be a team, we all want pupils to achieve their potential, work with the school not against it.

noblegiraffe · 25/10/2014 21:23

Maybe, Stella, your child needs to work harder then?

It's not very often I have to tell a child to work harder in front of their parents. A lot of the time when the child mumbles that they're fine I say that they're doing better than fine and I'm really pleased with their progress.

PiqueABoo · 25/10/2014 23:12

I'm wondering how much I'll have to bribe Y7 DD to respond with: "Well I'm not really in a position to judge. Can I have look at your list of everyone's levels so I can work it out?"

noblegiraffe · 25/10/2014 23:20

It's not about levels or about how everyone else is getting on. It's about how the child thinks it's going. Sometimes they'll mumble 'fine', sometimes they'll say 'I really enjoy maths' sometimes they'll say that they find it hard. Sometimes, as a teacher, the answer of the child is very surprising.

I've got a student in my class who is very quiet, but a natural. Regularly gets top marks in tests, heading for the highest grades. I had no idea that they utterly hate my subject until I asked.

nooka · 25/10/2014 23:23

It's not a comparative question though is it? I expect my children to do the best according to their ability. So for ds that means he should be getting high As in science but I'd be proud of him for getting good Bs in English (he is dyslexic).

When he was younger it might mean I'd be pleased if he managed to sit still and not mess about. Never an issue for dd (very different character).

Coolas · 26/10/2014 00:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thegirlwithnoname · 03/11/2014 22:10

We had parents evening tonight, as per normal, I went. Just like I trot along to every Parents Evening, and I asked as per normal.
a) How is my child doing in your class?
b) Is my child respectful to you and the other students?
c) How can I further help my child with your subject?
I don't like being asked if my child wants to come to breakfast club, because the Tuesday before last he had second helpings at lunch time. - which I took as do you feed your child when he is at home Mrs Noname.
My answer, No thank you, he has porridge for breakfast, and in case you are wondering, my child is at home with his dad who cooks our supper as he works nights, today they are eating fish pie followed by baked apple and custard, he has grown 1 foot in the last year, we can't fill him up.
I have been going to these for 17 years and today I feel sad :(

myotherusernameisbetter · 03/11/2014 23:06

I've generally always been a fan of taking the child with us and have done this all the way through primary and continued into High School.

However, at DS2s first year at high school we'd struggled to get many appointments and we had a bit of a gap and DS2 nipped to the toilet - we happened to walk past his science class, teacher was in there, no parents waiting outside, so we popped in and asked if we could sneak even 2 minutes since he was free, he established that no-one with appointments was waiting and said that it was fine. I learned more about my son in those couple of minutes than I did at all the other parents nights.

Now, either he was just really good at these things, or simply you find out more when your child isn't there :)

We didn't find out anything bad btw just a clearer assessment of how he'd settled and how he was working rather than getting child to tell us what he's been working on and how he was finding it.......I can ask my child that myself thanks, I'd like your view as his teacher of how he is doing!

nokidshere · 05/11/2014 09:58

I always ask my children what I am going to hear from their teachers before I go to parents evening. As someone upthread said, they are surprisingly honest!

I also see parents evening as forging good relations with the school. I would not expect to be told there are any problems that I didn't already know about.

For my oldest (yr11) its generally about being high achieving but needing more effort. For my youngest (yr9) its generally about confidence. Both of these things have been on the agenda since they started school so its just about how to keep on top of them or new suggestions.

If there were any problems about their behaviour or specific issues with their work I would expect to already know long before parents evening.