Right, parents and teachers- this way please. Parent's evening.

[Hakluyt]

What are the killer questions? What have you found has got the information you want from your 5 minute slot.

Teachers- what questions make your hearts sink? Be honest- the chances of any of your parents being in here is vanishingly small!

I was thinking along the lines of "In your opinion, is he working to the limit of his ability?"

At DD's school all the desks are in the hall and dining hall. There is too much background noise for any conversations to be overheard.

Also at *PiqueAboo].
My main aim at these meetings is to make my own 5 minute character assessment of the various teachers and compare it with whatever my DCs have told me. May not be very constructive but quite fun.

My appointments always run bang to time, I have no idea what the other teachers who end up with queues actually talk about. Hairdressers never chat to me either, I must have one of those faces.

I dread questions that involve sublevels. They're such bullshit but I'm not actually allowed to say that. Do you think little Johnny will meet his target of 5.8 by the end of the year? I dunno. Why did little Jennifer only make one sub level of progress last year? I dunno. I'll blag an answer, but really, I don't know. Too many variables, too crappy a measuring system.

I think it depends what information you want!

I will try to give you details about barriers to learning (behaviour, effort, cooperation), specific strengths, specific areas for improvement (linked to my assessment info) and a professional prediction for end of Key Stage. I do give current working levels/grades, because if I don't, parents ask, but I really think the most useful information going forward is the strengths/weaknesses, and the predicted grade.

I don't like it when parents ask about tutoring.

at Piqueaboo

I start from the same point as Teen+Tween - asking my dc, in the few weeks before, what they are doing in this or that, if it is an enjoyable lesson, it it's challenging enough, if they can access help if they don't understand, etc. to make sure I've got a clear picture in my mind and specific examples if there are issues (tbh, I do this throughout the year, every now and then, as, if there are issues, they need to try to get them addressed long before Parents Evening).

I don't 'not see' the teachers where my dc say they are doing fine though... depending on child, this could be the obvious way for them to avoid you seeing the teacher they don't want you to see..... or, it may well be that the dc is oblivious to the frustration the teacher is feeling about them

I need my dc there to steer me to the right teachers / right rooms or desks if it's an 'in the hall' one.

i am also a secondary school parent, and that is the info I press for. As a parent, I am also fairly implacable in the face of teachers who try to talk down targets. Telling me why he isn't reaching it, fine. Telling me it's too high, nope. I suspect I may be a heart sink parent in fact...

"My main aim at these meetings is to make my own 5 minute character assessment of the various teachers and compare it with whatever my DCs have told me"

I do this. I also practise one of my two amazing skills- that of reading upsidedown-and I can thus find out where my child is in, what in my day, was known as "form order"

Ah, I get my fun frustrating that Hakluyt.
You don't see my spreadsheets....

orangedemons why is it lazy? Because you have 5 minutes to tell the parent what YOU think (and the child). The child knows what they think, they have ample opportunity to tell you and their parents what they think. The parent on the other hand has just 5 minutes with you. And since the parents evening will have meant the parent taking time off work (in our case - parents evenings always run from 4-6) the least you can do is actually prepare something to say and then say it, rather than pushing off the responsibility for the content of that 5 minutes on to an 11 year old (say). Most ordinary kids will say 'alright' whether that's true or not, it's just not a good use of the time of someone who has had to take time off work to be there.

Hak - I do not believe that you don't know how your DS thinks he's getting on. I actually don't think you don't know how the school thinks he's getting on either but other parents are in a less fortunate position. Maybe people with plenty of time enjoy seeing their kids being put on the spot and then clamming up but for people who have possibly journeyed some distance to hear what the teacher thinks that's what we want to hear in that 5 minutes. What the teacher thinks. It's not an amazing desire really, is it.

"Maybe people with plenty of time enjoy seeing their kids being put on the spot and then clamming up "

I wouldn't enjoy that at all. But I would expect a good school to be teaching my child how to engage with adults, and how to self assess. And if my child did clam up, I would expect the teacher to move swiftly on. Maybe 30 seconds of the 5 minutes? And I would want to find out from my child late why he/she "clammed up" in the presence of that particular teacher.

Hak - evaluation (in all its aspects) is a big part of my job. I won't be too specific, but effective evaluation provides constructive feedback that can be implemented. Trying to shift the onus on to the subject of the evaluation (unless it's a two way evaluation which parents evenings are not) is not effective evaluation. If you are the sort of person who values that sort of aggressive forcing of kids out of their comfort zone treatment then that's your business however that should be happening in school time, not in the parents' time (and the kid's own time). The parents evening conversations are not supposed to be just another opportunity to make timid kids squirm, they are supposed to be an opportunity to give information to the parents.

I agree with those who have said the kids shouldn't be at parents evenings.

I am however hugely looking forward to DD2's parent evening because if anyone tries that trick with her they will only ever do it once. Poor DD1 on the other hand regards these events as torture and I don't blame her.

Do you think little Johnny will meet his target of 5.8 by the end of the year? I dunno. Why did little Jennifer only make one sub level of progress last year? I dunno. I'll blag an answer, but really, I don't know.

I may be being controversial here but surely you should have a better idea than the parents. Not necessarily if Johnny will get 5.8 but if he'll be there or there abouts? Presumably if his Attitude to Learning score is decent, then it is your job to ensure he does make the required progress? Or have I got this wrong somehow?

Had I know exactly why my two older kids clam up. One is desperately shy and awkward (dyspraxic combined with an introvert personality) one is a bit AS and also introvert. I don't need to watch a teacher (who should know that) effectively being cruel to them. And the good ones of course aren't. They might ask them questions but they aren't open ended. But there are always a few who are lazy. Now DD1 is in the 6th form, 50% of her teachers are brilliant at parents evening and 50% aren't. And not surprisingly it's the 50% who aren't who still 'forget' about her SEN issues (and adjustments) on a regular basis. And one of them has taught her for years. It's the same with DS - we still encounter teachers who 'don't know' he's dyslexic. And 'don't know' he has hearing issues. Sigh.

I believe what noble giraffe means is that discriminating at sublevels is a pointless tricky business. Moving from a 5.4 to a 5.8 is not really a meaningful progression. Which is why I prefer to talk I terms of what students can do and what they need to do in order to progress.

I'm also not keen on them asking DS how he thinks he's doing. I know how he thinks he's doing, I want to know how the teacher thinks he is doing.

Coolas - you sound great! DD1 (who despite her challenges is not remotely flakey) has some teachers who email me quite a bit, partly because they want to check up that when she has missed school (she had a lot of non Sen medical issues last year, she was really quite unwell with lots of hospital time) she is able to access work while away etc. They are brilliant. DS is more than slightly flakey and we have asked the school to email us and they never ever do. Not his teachers, not his Sen mentor - nobody. :(

"I agree with those who have said the kids shouldn't be at parents evenings."

I like it - then if I hear the same thing (positive or negative) from several teachers with DD present, we can discuss it at home without any issues of 'well they didn't really mean it' / 'there is reason X', since she's had the opportunity to make her point in front of me.

So eg, at the last parents evening, not a single teacher mentioned the tidiness of her writing, nor is it ever mentioned in her books. At which point, if she stresses, I can point this out.

Similarly, when she moans about being told off by the French teacher, I can point out that she knows damn well that I know that she tends to lose focus chat with her friends in Friday afternoon's lesson!

"If you are the sort of person who values that sort of aggressive forcing of kids out of their comfort zone treatment then that's your business"

Er..... I'd actually be grateful if you'd take the back- and maybe an apology would be nice. Because I found it incredibly offensive.

Actually I find the way people who are not introverts insist that it's good to force timid people to magically stop being timid extremely offensive. But as I said - if you're someone who believes that it is good for introverts and other timid people to be forced out of their comfort zone aggressively - out in the spot when there is no possible escape and there's a power relationship dynamic (teacher pupil) then that is your business. You are certainly not the only person to think that if indeed you do. But as I also said that shouldn't be happening out of school hours and certainly not on the parents' time. If you don't value that sort of (passive) aggressive treatment of introverts then that's your business too and you can if you want clarify your earlier comment that you think it's quite good for your kids (perhaps by explaining you understand it's not good for everyone, something you left out of your previous comment). But there's no need for an apology on either side - you appeared to express a view which is not desperately uncommon but which is actually deeply upsetting for certain types of people. If that's not really your view then you are free to either say so or ignore me. But you have said several times that you like the fact that your kids were made to 'speak up' without acknowledging that for some people that's torture.

You really don't like it when people disagree with you or have different life experiences to you, do you. You seem to want to shout down any other view and demand apologies from people who dare to disagree with you. Well, what you believe is your own business and if I disagree with your evaluation of the usefulness of this particular method of handling parents evenings (for some kids) then that's my business. As is the fact that I find the insistence of some teachers that timid or introverted kids should be put on the spot to be aggressive.

"Actually I find the way people who are not introverts insist that it's good to force timid people to magically stop being timid extremely offensive"

So do I. And I have no idea how you got from what I said to that.

I presume you missed where I said "And if my child did clam up, I would expect the teacher to move swiftly on"

Or are you just being gratuitously offensive?

For me parents eve is very different depending on the child. Ds1 yr11 model student, it's actually almost embarrassing as his teachers rave about him. Doing brilliantly academically. The only negative ever mmentioned is his handwriting could be neater. We know he is fine but it's good to meet his teachers and make sure all is ok also I want to look interested!

Ds2 yr8 umm fine academically but he is a more challenging personality! Parents eve means a good chance to let his teachers know we are trying to make sure he does his homework etc and we exchange emails and they means I can then keep in better contact and keep on top of any issues. He is a good kid and teachers seem to like h but he is crap at organisational stuff (we are working on it!)

I just want to know how they are getting on and anything we can do to support the school at home.

I have often felt slightly judged as its obvious we had ds1 when we were young but ggenerally it's fine. I am very grateful ds1 is going through the aschool first and he has many of the same teachers as ds2 so they know both boys and us and that we support the school. We may have another three kids to go to the same school so want a good relationship with them!

We have had the 'how do you think your DS is getting on' on several parents evenings. Well, I have no idea because I'm not in school and have a typical boy who tells me nothing about his school day, so that's why I'm here- to find out! Generally, I might know he's doing OK but I want to know about the stuff that I don't see at home.