Right, parents and teachers- this way please. Parent's evening.

[Hakluyt]

What are the killer questions? What have you found has got the information you want from your 5 minute slot.

Teachers- what questions make your hearts sink? Be honest- the chances of any of your parents being in here is vanishingly small!

I was thinking along the lines of "In your opinion, is he working to the limit of his ability?"

Asking a question of an introvert is not an act of aggression, that's ridiculous.

I'm a severe introvert. I find parents evenings exhausting. But introversion doesn't render you mute and the thought that we should be differentiating as to whether we actually attempt to engage pupils based on their personality type is bizarre.

It's not the same as an SEN like selective mutism where you would avoid asking a question.

At the school I teach at, we don't have parents' evening, we have student - parent - teacher conference. This starts from early years, this gives the student an opportunity to take responsibility for their own learning. After 10 of them I have never had a student answer the question "how do you think you are doing?" with "alright".

It really helps that there is no confusion with the message you are giving and if a student disagrees with what you say, they can say so.

I want to know if my DCs are happy when they are in school, if there are any problems and are they putting in the effort that they are capable of and if there is anything I need to do with them at home.
Their happiness is the most important thing. The DCs will have told me I want to know what the teacher thinks because if the DCs are saying they are unhappy, I want to know if the teacher knows this.

Ah clicked on this thread thinking it was fairly innocuous - dear me!

FWIW Hak I think it's fairly clear you meant that you like it when YOUR children are asked to expand on answers, not that you were necessarily saying it's the best thing for all children in every situation.

Anyway...from parents evenings, I like to know if my children are performing consistently and if there are any areas I can help with at home. I can see from their school books what they're doing and what level they are at but I'm interested in the "softer" things that are hard to measure - how do they interact? do they push themselves? For DS2 I'm going to have one of those uncomfortable "he tells me the work bores him" conversations. Trying to think of a more tactful way of phrasing it...

Hmm, I'd be fine with a parent saying that x finds the work too easy or too hard but too boring....I'm a teacher not an entertainer and not everyone can love my subject.

So if he is bored because it's too easy, take that route, because boring is very subjective. Why is he bored?

I've got to ask my dd teacher tommorrow year 4 if she agrees with me that my daughter may have dyslexia and get the ball rolling to get her tested im 99% sure she has .
think I'll be making another appointment to see her 5 min won't h long enough . Only really noticed it since she started juniors in sept so not like I've been putting it off for ages but it's clicked now why she was always not progressing in the infants the teachers failed to notice she's 7 now
My dh has dyslexia so does run in the family
Quite nervous about it as I haven't a clue what I have to do to get her diagnosed and if se will get any help never had to do anything like this before :/ no doubt I'll forget what I have to ask

Y7 DD will not want to risk future trouble with a teacher, so if there's something negative to say there will be some inner turmoil and by-and-by she won't say it. Then if DD thinks a teacher is OK and I've got something negative to say I'd rather she weren't there fretting about it causing future trouble and wishing she could crawl under the table.

Early days at secondary though so unless they produce some assessment-by-hands-up surprises I don't have anything negative to say except that their rewards system is a heap of inconsistent, unfair crap and I'd quite like a school-side authority figure to support me in this 'partnership' by discreetly telling her the same thing about why self-motivated children like her simply need to accept that it's a crock and move on.

noblegiraffe
Hmm, I'd be fine with a parent saying that x finds the work too easy or too hard but too boring....I'm a teacher not an entertainer and not everyone can love my subject...boring is very subjective. Why is he bored

He's only yr2 so it's everything rather than a specific subject. Older DC have had this teacher and I think she's great, but DS2 seems really good with reading etc whereas I think she is a maths specialist. He says he's bored "because I know all of the work already" buuuuuut I think he would find any work "boring" as he seems to see it as getting in the way of playtime...so it will be interesting to see the teacher's take on it!

I have often opened dialogue at parents' evenings by asking the pupil how they view their progress as many times, the pupils can be very diffident about how well they are doing and it's nice to praise them in front of their parents...Also, it's handy if the child mumbles 'All right' or something similar when they haven't been doing as well as you might have hoped. It also leads into a discussion about facing the truth about what they have been doing in class. If I have remarked in writing, say in marking, that a piece of work needs redoing or amending and the child hasn't done so, it's helpful at parents' evenings to bring this up with the child. It also gets the parent involved as, quite frequently, the parent hasn't looked at the child's work, so has no idea. It's an effective way of engaging both the child and their parents. It helps to show them that education matters to their parents as well as to their teachers.
So, I don't feel as if I have been lazy at all by using this as an opener. And remember, just as parents have to see many teachers, teachers have to see many parents. We have to get across vital information in a short time, sometimes to people who aren't there for the info but to have a rant about something they don't like (often, nothing to do with the teacher!).
I've always enjoyed parents' evenings as they can shed so much light on why pupils are the way they are!
I bet people on here who work in other walks of life, but have to deal with people, use stock openers to conversations all the time. This is just another.

My kids are younger, but in general I'd prefer that they were not present at the parents evening. There have been a couple of issues that I've brought up at the parents evening and I'd worry that the teachers would think that I was undermining them if I challenged them in front of the DCs.

I think generally in Primary, children don't attend and in Secondary they increasingly do, especially once options are being chosen.

The Q 'how do you think you are doing' isn't a lazy question, nor the start of interrogation. It is an acknowledgement that the child is there and is of course involved in their own learning. Most children are not very forthcoming, but have had a chance to say something and then the teacher moves on. Others are pretty insightful, which can spark a conversation.
Regardless, the teacher will have things they want to say and will say. Often they will speak to both parents and child and talk about specific topics covered which will be meaningful to the child, if not the parent.
So a good session with parent and child there will include a summary of general progress, plus some specifics about the syllabus which parents may not be fully au fait with. There will be some target giving/areas to work on too. There may be discussion with the child about levels of application/effort etc. these are useful too, because a teacher may ask the child how far they are willing to work harder. The teacher,parent and child knows all of the above have heard their answer and will be held to it.
Also useful to have pupils there too, so they hear 'from the donkeys mouth' as too many parents only hear or report back negatives and others only hear and report back positives.

As a parent, I would ask about absolute levels of attainment....what my child has achieved, whether this is NC levels or GCSE standard work. I would also ask what the teacher thinks they are capable of by the end of the year or course. And I would ask for a couple of specific things for them to work on to help them get there. I would write it down, as I know it is hard to remember after the event. Sometimes I might also ask if my child is holding thi pier own in the class, esp if it is a set....ie so are they are the bottom of their set,mor doing comfortably within it, or is moving up a possibility.
I would also ask if they felt my child was pushing themselves or coasting.

Of course I would listen first and much of this might be covered I. What the teacher has to say, without any need to ask.

If there is anything they cannot answer, I would ask them to get back to me about it ......give it a week to 10 days, and then follow up if there is no contact.

And if you need more than the allotted time, don't make the whole evening run late, but arrange to see the teacher another time.

At parents nights I always cover the following:
Behaviour
Effort in class and homework
Progress/ any recent tests and highlight any topics which stand out as being difficult.
Whether or not they ask questions in class (and stress they can't be shy!)
How well they work with others when they get the opportunity.

Depending on age of pupils I give them an idea of how I see them progressing. If it's older pupils who are exam level I'll mention prediction of results, how they can prep for exam etc.

I leave it completely up to the parent if they want the pupil there or not, so ask if they can come in /wait outside as you see fit. I usually ask pupils if they agree with what I've said or if there's anything they'd like to add.

If you're happy with all of that there's maybe not much you need to ask. If there's concerns about behaviour maybe ask if dc can be moved away from certain other pupils. Ask for useful revision websites, extra work on any topics teacher has highlighted. Again, if there's been any tests and you think you can do some work with your child to improve it ask for a copy of the test. I won't give away tests but I'm always happy to get them photocopied so you could have it. Hope that helps!

On the odd occasion when I do have a pupil turn up with parent(s) then I do like to involve them in the conversation: often by asking them about their target (ie the grade they want) and their strengths / weaknesses. It helps to show the parents if there is a gap between their expectations and performance, if the pupil knows how to bridge the gap and, finally, to ensure that all 3/4 of us know exactly what needs to be done. We work together. It is not me and the parents versus the child. Or the child and the parents versus the school.

So, asking a teenager is very relevant. And in my subject, if they grunt or say nothing, then that in itself opens up an area for comment as they are graded in English for their talk skills.

As a Parent, I have attended very few Parents' Evenings as DH does them (my children are at my school). But, the gap between performance and expectations is often a good place to start. I think keeping it simple helps - you want a straightforward, jargon free answer.

"He needs to achieve x (insert grade or whatever) how close is he to x and, if not close enough, what needs to be done to make it more likely that he will achieve x".

As a teacher, I love it when parents say things like, "What can we do to support her with her English?"

We had our children's parent's evening tonight. Mostly we had a bit of a chat with each teacher (we have 10 mins slots) to get an idea about them and the interaction between them and our child. We went all together as a family and ideally like to have the chat with both of us and the relevant child. We get all their grades online so we know exactly how well they are doing so only really talk about that if there is missing work or something they messed up.

Tonight we got told that dd was wonderful (as usual, she works hard and behaves well and her only issues are getting stressed when she doesn't get As). Conversations with her teachers are generally short! Some of her teachers also taught ds (they are a year apart at school) so we got some chatting about their differences too. Also about her interactions with other children in the class, who she was sitting next to and if she wanted to be a peer mentor.

ds's teachers are always more interesting, although he is much better behaved in secondary so there is less of a contrast now. We like to see whether his teachers 'get' him and to let them know we will back them up if he is messing about. He got very positive feedback from two teachers who are obviously really enjoying teaching him which was fabulous, plus some advice on supporting him in a subject that's been more challenging.

We were pretty happy with all their teachers this time around, which is great. No killer questions though! It's all pretty laid back at their school.

Oh and I'd say about half of the teachers did the 'how do you think you are doing' question. Introvert ds had no problems replying, he is fairly insightful as to why he doesn't always perform as well as he should do. The school system here is very focused on verbal skills though.

Last night, I attended parents' evening for my two (primary)

ds' teachers seemed to know him, know what he could do well, and suggest areas we could help him with at home. any questions i had, they were happy to answer.

dd's teacher started off by asking me how she was doing. dd wasn't there. she asked me she then couldn't tell me how she was doing in literacy as she couldn't find the information, and i felt like i was prising open a clam trying to get anything out of her, she was reluctant to volunteer anything. worst was the feeling that she did not know my girl at all. I am so disappointed.

i am glad my daughter wasn't there to hear the waffling. what a waste of time, when the meeting with my son's teachers was brilliant.

Parents writung off a subject as they were crap at it. Wtf is that about.

Or not willing to accept their kids are different at school. Or eek we might know them better

I hate the "how do you think" q. Very trendy ten years ago. I'm on both sides of the table. When I'm a parent I think "you fricken tell me you're the bloody teacher that's why I've come"

i teach a secondary subject, see my students far less than a primary teacher would, and yet by end of October I've done enough with mine to be able to report on their progress in my subject and suggest areas for improvement

i am gobsmacked and a bit angry tbh that the teacher who sees my kid for 5 , hours a day, everh day for the last two months seems to not be sure who she is.

Really? I still think by October it's hard to say. Unless you teach a core subject

well this is it, i do teach a core subject, i see all my students weekly, around two hours in total. this is more than enough time for me to have something meaningful to say. i would have had totally different expectations of a y8 RE teacher.

dd is in y3 however, and sees her teacher daily, for hours at a time. she had no idea how she was doing in literacy. nothing concrete to report, just waffle.

The "how do you think you're doing?" question was used several times last night. For PE, ds managed to argue his mark up a sub level - the teacher listened to what he had to say, then said he had made a mistake and put him up a sub level! In Math he said he had found it easy at the beginning of term but was now finding it difficult but mostly doable- and the teacher told him that was what she wanted, and to tell her at once if it started to feel easy again and she'd up it a bit. In History, he said he thought he was doing OK- and the teacher said she thought he would say that because he was doing well compared to the people sitting around him, but in her opinion that wasn't good enough for him and she expected more, and she wanted him to up his game next term.

3 examples, I think, of how, with the right teacher and the right kid it can be very effective indeed.

That's not just crap chibbers. That's really ODD isn't it?

The kid argued up a sub level? Hmm think the teacher has no clue? Mind you levels schmevels

indeed. my son's teachers were able to talk about how he fingerspaces now consistently when he writes but still doesn't recognise these high frequency words on sight - they gave a list of the words with the ones he struggles with highlighted.

dd? she works hard and gets on with things, apparently.

i know this is code for 'she doesn't cause me any grief, so i haven't bothered to notice anything else about her'