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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Put my mind at rest - dd2 to be one of only 5 white girls in new class of 30

102 replies

Bedward · 12/07/2013 09:24

That's it really. dd2 went to her induction at her new school, yesterday. She was v excited - only one from her primary going, but dd1 already there. About half the new school are from different ethnic minorities and dd2 is fine with that - all dd1's friends at the school are from different ethnic backgrounds in fact. But it just so happens that dd2's form is 25/30 non-white. When I met up with dd2 after her induction, she looked slightly nervous and crestfallen - she's very sociable and easy-going, but her current school is virtually totally white (village school).

Please tell me it's going to be ok - I tried to reassure her she'll be fine, but I think the reality of going to a school where she knows no-one and worries she may not fit in, are now becoming real. :(

OP posts:

2cats2many · 12/07/2013 09:27

Of course she's going to be ok! I bet she'll make lifelong friends.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 12/07/2013 09:29

What are you worried about?

They are 11 year old girls, they are not alien species are they?

If dd1 is ok, why wouldnt dd2 be?

NewFairy · 12/07/2013 09:36

I would be slightly concerned if it's only 5 girls in a class of 30. Is that what you mean?
Otherwise I think yabu sorry.

noblegiraffe · 12/07/2013 09:38

What's the issue? That she might end up with non-white friends?

maillotjaune · 12/07/2013 09:38

Not knowing anyone is a reason to worry in advance of going, but that's entirely normal and I'm sure she won't be the only one.

The skin colour of her classmates is irrelevant. Your DD is 1 of a class of 30. She will make friends just like your older daughter has.

LaRosaBella · 12/07/2013 09:40

I was the only white girl in my class, didn't do me any harm and I never had any problems in relation to it.

DaddyPigsMistress · 12/07/2013 09:41

Well when theres only a few ethnic kids in a school full of white kids they manage so I'm sure she will be fine

LaRosaBella · 12/07/2013 09:42

And I didnt know anyone but I made friends very quickly.

TobyLerone · 12/07/2013 09:42

I can't actually believe you thought to write a thread about this.

It's a wind-up, right?

christinarossetti · 12/07/2013 09:46

If all your dd1's friends are from different ethnic backgrounds, why do you think a similar situation - should it arise - with your younger dd will be a problem?

SolomanDaisy · 12/07/2013 09:53

I don't understand. For ages DS was the only white child at his playgroup, it was irrelevant. Is she using this as a focus to express her more general anxieties about secondary school?

Branleuse · 12/07/2013 09:54

oh dear. Lets just hope she doesnt catch black!!!

Original poster

Bedward · 12/07/2013 09:56

No, it's not a wind-up - dd1's class is about 50/50 though in her friendship group, dd1 is the only white one. In some classes, the balance may be skewed the other way - I assume the head doesn't sit down and carefully ensure every class has identical numbers of ethnic minorities.

I do worry a bit about dd2 being left out - although dd1's friends are lovely, she basically doesn't socialise with them outside school at all, as their parents won't let them/they only mix with people of their own ethnic background outside school etc.

Am also a tiny bit worried about religious bullying - we're Jewish and dd1 has Muslim friends and they get on very well, all very mutually respectful etc - but I know dd1 does find being the token Jew a bit hard... will be worse when they study the Holocaust. Am worried in case dd2 finds this hard.

OP posts:

TantrumsAndBalloons · 12/07/2013 10:05

But why would she be left out?

I don't understand. Are you saying the 25 other people are all the same ethnicity? And you think she will be excluded from the group because of this?
Or are you saying it is an ethnically diverse (I hate that phrase by the way but can't think of a better one) class, ie lots of different ethnicities and that is a problem?

Either way, with the kindness of intentions, get a grip.
My DCs are mixed race. In ds2 class there are many, many different races and cultures. He has never been left out.

You sound like this is really bothering you, I can't quite work out why because clearly you must live in an ethnically diverse area?

ZZZenagain · 12/07/2013 10:06

Not being able to socialise with her friends outside of school sounds a bit lonely, even if the school is generally good and has a pleasant social atmosphere.

Where are all the other children from your village school moving to? Can't dd2 move with some of her friends?

JaquelineHyde · 12/07/2013 10:15

OP get a grip.

DD1 is the only mixed race child in a class of 29, all the others are white.

DS1 is the only mixed race child in a class of 30, all the others are white.

In DD2's class of 30 there is a Chinese boy and her, all the others are white.

They are all perfectly happy at school and they all joined their classes in the middle of a school year as we moved house.

cory · 12/07/2013 10:21

I'm surprised you made this about white/black rather than about ethnic minorities.

Do you mean you would feel more at ease if all your dd's classmates were Polish or Russian than if they were native born Britons who happened to have black skin?

VinegarDrinker · 12/07/2013 10:22

They all come from different minority backgrounds but all are forbidden from mixing with "white" kids socially? Sounds a tad unlikely...

DC will likely be the only White British kids in their respective clasps when they start school. I can't see how this is a bad thing at all.

If you were talking about 25 kids all from the same background speaking another language to each other at school and excluding your DD then you just might have a point.

Did she even mention ethnicity or are you just extrapolating from her being a bit overwhelmed by starting somewhere new abs having to make new friends?

VinegarDrinker · 12/07/2013 10:24

Btw what do the parents of your elder DD actually say when you invite their kids over to play?

MikeLitoris · 12/07/2013 10:27

Dd is the only white girl in her year amd one of only 2k born children.

It has zero effect on her education.

Yabu

noddyholder · 12/07/2013 10:29

really this is racist drivel. Why would she be left out? Left out of what?

TobyLerone · 12/07/2013 10:34

Thank God it's not just me who thinks so, noddy. I thought I was in some kind of racist twilight zone.

noddyholder · 12/07/2013 10:38

I have seen a few things on MN recently that have really shocked me along these lines.

Original poster

Bedward · 12/07/2013 10:38

dd2 did specifically mention this to me, yes, VinegarDrinker, as something that was worrying her.

And no, dd1's friends are not all from the same ethnic background - there is a Chinese girl, don't know backgrounds of other friends as strangely I don't quiz them or their parents on this but they look Indian-ish but some are Muslim, some are Hindu, one is Christian - they're not a unified group, no. But they don't socialise with dd1 outside school - she has said they're not allowed to. A couple have been to our house to work on a homework project but dd1 was not allowed to go to their homes to work on the project - they had to come to ours twice instead. Some of them are allowed to go to the shopping centre after school, but the stuff dd1 would like to do like go to the cinema in the evening, or that kind of stuff, they are not allowed to.

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 12/07/2013 10:41

When I started school there were two other white children in my class...it's only something I noticed years later, at the time it made chuff all difference to me.

Why on earth would it affect anything?

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