So we did not get DS1 into any of the Catholic Boys Secondaries, and the reason was the baptism criteria. This will also be the case for ds2

[PureQuintessence]

The schools did not take into account our explanations for not baptizing ds1 within the first 6 months. (Which was my dads stroke and helping mum coping and getting dad on his road to recovery was more important to me than a baptism at the time - we organized a blessing for ds1, one which is used for a child that will be baptized, so a stop gap thing sort of)

We are ok for schools for now, as ds1 has accepted an offer to an independent.

But what about ds2?

No matter how often we go to Church, and observe holy days of Obligation, he was also not baptized until it was convenient to get the family together, while visiting my home town. It will mean that there is no point even trying, as this is so important.

And do I even want to send my precious children to schools that have no empathy for people who struggle? I seriously thought we had heaps of compassionate grounds, and our priest said so in his reference, that there were compassionate reasons to accept our son. But no.

Maybe this thread should be in Aibu or Religion / Philosopy but it has made me really question our options and life choices, and whether spending 30 k a year for education for both boys is going to be worth it.

At the catholic church service I was at on Sunday the reading was about Jesus intervening to stop a woman being stoned to death for adultery. The priest then discussed the im

At the catholic church service I was at on Sunday the reading was about Jesus intervening to stop a woman being stoned to death for adultery. The priest then discussed the importance of forgiveness and how god and the church forgive sinners who repent.

Clearly however if you break canon law by not getting your child baptised early you will be judged on this transgression 10 years later, no matter how sorry or whether supported by your parish priest.

To me it seems inconsistent. That said there are lots of things about admissions to catholic schools that upset me more like putting in bulge classes at primary level, granting admission to non catholics and then not allowing the siblings in at a later date.

My advice to the op is to get on the waiting lists for catholic schools that dont use this criteria. She may prefer the ethos of these schools in any case.

The most important thing to a child is aware, loving, involved and supportive parents. The school is secondary to that.

Hear hear.

But in fact, as I understand it, the OP has a place at a Christian ethos school which is extremely popular among parents in the local area and which gets very decent results. So I don't really understand why you are so upset, OP. I have never heard anything negative relating to either bullying or assaults about this school in recent years. It was a very different school ten or fifteen years ago, but that's a long time ago in school terms. It was rated good with quite a lot of outstanding features (including achievement and behaviour) not that long ago. I don't have a child there, but I know a lot of people who do. It wouldn't be an option for me when I get to that stage as I prefer non-faith schools but I am in no doubt that it is now doing its job well. Most people would be delighted to be offered a school like this!

starsatnight, sorry, but that is rubbish, its like saying children who live too far away from the school are being punished for not getting a place because they dont live close enough. when a school is oversubscribed, it is oversubscribed and criteria have to be applied strictly. The alternatives are to either bump another child off the list or to create a place which can cause issues with classroom over crowding and limits of resources.

And I hardly think not getting into a catholic
school could be described as "screwing your child's future"!

For those of us without the grammar school options, seeker, it can seem a little bit like that, you know?

Well Flogging maybe you'll have a little bit of sympathy for those of us without the grammer school options who can't play the religious card either!

I don't blame any parent for doing whatever they can to access the best education for their children but the current system is ridiculous, unfair and unethical.

And MothershipG, completely against the original intention of setting up church schools in the first place. Most were originally founded for the education of the poor, who couldn't afford education otherwise.

In our area, there is a very large and very well attended evangelical church. It, without any shadow of a doubt, is largely associated with much of the 'charitable' work that goes on in the town in serving the local area. It runs the food bank, toddler groups exclusively for SEN children and loads of other local support groups.

Ironically, none of its members have any access to the local 'Outstanding' C of E comprehensive which is largely populated by the children of well-informed, white, middle class parents who diligently scour the admission arrangements yearly to ensure they 'tick the boxes' and get themselves onto the electoral roll of the local Anglican Church in order to prove their 'Christianity'.

I'm not sure why the tax paying population should be paying for this.

A couple of years ago the head of the Oxford Diocesan Board of Education suggested that church schools should get back to their original purpose of 'serving the local community' by stopping reserving places for Christian families. His words were quietly ignored by most of the governing bodies of the local VA schools (made up, in large part, by clergy). These schools would claim they 'reserve' no places for church families whilst, on the other hand, using oversubscription criteria that ensure only church families get into such a popular school.

Those of you without grammar school options, floggingmolly, have the option of a comprehensive school.

Sorry, I meant to bold you not strike you out!

YY! Arya You are preaching to the choir with me - I'm so frustrated by this, but I've had this argument on here so many times (and quietly supported Seeker having it a million more times) and some people just don't get it and nothing is going to change...argh!

MY DC are fortunate enough to scrape into the local good enough high school by the skin of their teeth, the next street over and if you don't do god your only option is one of the worse performing schools in the UK. But if you're religious there is plenty of choice.

MothershipG we are on the 'other side of the street' as it were. We are in catchment to one of the worst performing comps in the country. I've always said that it's not raw results but progress that is the important measure of a schools success. Unfortunately, it falls down by no small amount on both fronts (hence being on Notice to Improve).

If the situation hasn't improved within the next few years we will exercise our democratic right to move house. We are fortunate that we have the means to do so.

It is all such a lottery isnt it. In ideal world, all schools should be equally good. Then there would not be any ill feelings against Faith schools, and there would be no "playing the game and ticking the boxes". I think the system is totally unfair.

I must say I am a little amused (and annoyed) at the posts that go along the lines of "OP has an offer of a place at a school that I think is good and many people I know would be happy with." We are all different, and we are all judging schools by different criteria. I dont think I should have to defend or explain why a certain school that many other people covet does not tick all our boxes for various reasons. It is a bit beside the point.

Haberdashery and Guenevievre That school was originally my third choice. It would not have been on the list at all had I known that a child that has been very nasty to my son, mocked him, cyber-bullied him, generally been part of making life just a little harder for my son, would be a few years above my son in school.

I know some of you may just turn around and say "well bully for you, you should just get over it, there are nasty kids every where" . My son is a very sensitive and gentle soul, and I want the best for him.

Quint we all want the best for our DC so I'm trying to sympathise and of course you are right, in a perfect world all schools would be equally good, but you have to understand why some people are peeved that you are railing about your DS getting a place at a school they would be more than happy for their children to have a chance of.

Incidentally if your son is sensitive and delicate I don't think CV would have suited him from what my neighbour tells me about it, although her DS has done well there.

To be fair, that's not what you said. You said there was a problem with bullying and assaults at the school, which is not the case according to anything I've heard. The school was readily identifiable from what you have posted in various places so I was correcting your misinformation as there may be many people reading this who do not have the benefit of other perspectives on which to base their judgments.

I'm sorry he has been bullied, and obviously you feel very protective of him (quite rightly). There is no more a culture of bullying at Christ's than there is at CV, or at IPS. In any large school there may be bullying, the test of excellent pastoral care is how swiftly and seriously this is dealt with.

Mind you, pay no attention to me as I am just about to send dd to sinky mcsink school .

Lets not get into an argument Haberdashery. I seriously doubt many people would follow me across the board and guess what school we have been offered. I have my reasons for not wanting that school, some personal which I dont want to elaborate on any further, and some based on what other people have said. The only people who has eluded to what school it is, and could give anything away, is in fact you and G!

Actually, I don't think I've said anything about which school it is. But I don't want to argue either. I hope you find the right solution for your son. However, I read a couple of threads related to things I find interesting and it was immediately obvious which schools you are talking about.

Thanks to all of you who have given advice, it is very welcome. I shall not name you all, but this thread has been food for thought!

I especially value the advice from the knowledgeable Education bods. (You know who you are)

Just pointing out that I wasn't following you around!

I honestly tried to avoid talking about the school we had been offered, preferring to deal with the school we had not been allocated, which are RC secondaries.

Quint, I'm local(ish) to you, and follow all threads that pop up about local schools. It's because I'm interested, and it's because they're relevant to me and my choices. It was incredibly easy to identify which school you had been allocated as you said in a previous thread (about LOCAL schools) that the head was leaving to go to StRR. I don't imagine that I'm the only local person that made the connection!

It sounds like you have very good personal reasons for not wanting to choose the school, but I do think it was a bit misleading to try to give the impression that you'd been offered some sort of sink comprehensive.

I think a lot of the problem, in London, at least - is with these absolutely amazing selective schools. Schools like the Oratory, CVMS and Tiffins have such fantastic results that they leave ordinary good comprehensives looking rather lack lustre. They're like private schools for free. But they're so exquisitely hard to get into that people close to getting in feel short changed when they don't. (Of course if they weren't so hard to get into they wouldn't have the fantastic results...)

I was not trying to make out I was given a sink comprehensive, I did not want to discuss the school we were allocated because it is a good school and I did not want to upset people who were happy with that school. Just not perhaps as suitable to my ds. I did not expect people to start alluding to it. I wanted to talk about the issue of not being allocated our first RC choices, and what to do in regards to our ds2 who then wont get in on a sibling policy and who might not be able to get into an independent which we wont be able to afford anyway.

So to get back to original point of this thread, you will not get DS into CV, it just won't happen, they are a law unto themselves, which means DS2 isn't an issue. So bearing that in mind you need to consider your other options, however unfair that may feel to you.

CVMS may be a law unto themselves but the appeal panel must be independent and must decide the case on its merits. If they decide that the school's failure to exercise its discretion over the late baptism is unreasonable and tell CVMS to admit the school has no choice but to comply. If the appeal panel isn't properly independent either the LGO or, if they take no notice of them, judicial review can be used to put things right.