So we did not get DS1 into any of the Catholic Boys Secondaries, and the reason was the baptism criteria. This will also be the case for ds2

[PureQuintessence]

The schools did not take into account our explanations for not baptizing ds1 within the first 6 months. (Which was my dads stroke and helping mum coping and getting dad on his road to recovery was more important to me than a baptism at the time - we organized a blessing for ds1, one which is used for a child that will be baptized, so a stop gap thing sort of)

We are ok for schools for now, as ds1 has accepted an offer to an independent.

But what about ds2?

No matter how often we go to Church, and observe holy days of Obligation, he was also not baptized until it was convenient to get the family together, while visiting my home town. It will mean that there is no point even trying, as this is so important.

And do I even want to send my precious children to schools that have no empathy for people who struggle? I seriously thought we had heaps of compassionate grounds, and our priest said so in his reference, that there were compassionate reasons to accept our son. But no.

Maybe this thread should be in Aibu or Religion / Philosopy but it has made me really question our options and life choices, and whether spending 30 k a year for education for both boys is going to be worth it.

I have not seen any anti catholic bigotry either.

Did not take that seriously.

And that's how the bigots get away with it. Why wouldn't you take a nasty little post like that seriously? It was obviously meant seriously.

Ah. I didn't realize that by "anti catholic bigotry being trotted out" you meant any criticism of the catholic faith. My mistake.

Russians, This is not a thread about anti Catholic bigotry, but about secondary education. And taking that point seriously and try to discuss it would derail the thread.

Well to be fair some people are not entirely in agreement with the church's teachings on homosexuality and contraception. I'm not sure that it's bigotry to not want your child to follow those particular teachings.
But I agree that it's not helpful to this particular debate and the vast majority of discussion has been very reasonable.
The great appeal of the Catholic church is, in my opinion, that it is so unbending and inflexible in a world where many of us are craving guidance. However, the flip side of this is that it can be, er, unbending and inflexible as is case of the OP.

Pure, I think this is appalling quite honestly and as would be in exactly the same scenario as you because my DS was not baptised until he was 9... and only then because he wanted it to be done. Thankfully our local catholic secondary (which his primary feeds into) has about 40% non catholic intake too.

Can you appeal?

Or do you even want to given their lack of understanding.

ps OP friend in very similar situation has daughter who's just got into Sacred Heart with support of lots of documentation. However, a friend of hers second child (i.e. sibling to child already in school) was not admitted on the same grounds.

Seeker it wasn't me who raised the issue. It was another poster. Who you then criticised, unfairly. The bigotry displayed in Startail's post (and also the posts implying a racist motivation behind the baptism rules) is real, and all over MN.

You clearly need to do some diversity training (or perhaps a refresher course in reading comprehension?) since your grasp of what constitutes bigotry and what constitutes un-bigotted criticism of the catholic faith is obviously sadly lacking.

Pure - you're right about the derailing issue but on the other hand, this is how the bigots operate. Pretending that knee-jerk generalising across the entire population of RC schools is anything other than bigotry might be acceptable to you but it isn't to me.

Farewell Well to be fair some people are not entirely in agreement with the church's teachings on homosexuality and contraception. I'm not sure that it's bigotry to not want your child to follow those particular teachings.

Absolutely. I'm one of those people. Well - not on contraception so much (I think the pill is iniquitous and is another one of the Bad Things men have done to women, but this has got little to do with my religious perspective and everything to do with my feminist one) but regarding homosexuality, definitely. I'm not just 'not entirely in agreement', I'm in disagreement. But that wasn't even slightly what startail said, was it. Nope. She was just kneejerk offensive about all RC schools. Not even about the faith, as such - she just dismissed every single RC school in the world. That is textbook bigotry.

Faith schools generally have a somewhat murky record in relation to admissions criteria. And unless there is something very particular about the Cardinal Vaughn catchment area, there is something murky going on there. Which is, if I read the thread properly, relevant to the OP.

They are completely transparent regarding their admissions criteria, Seeker, the content may be offensive to you, but I don't get where murkiness comes in?

Well, Purequnintessence outlined the school's published banding %ages- and they bear absolutely no resemblance to the make up of the school. Which in itself bears absolutely no resemblance to the population at large. So either I am missing something...............

They clearly need to fund and build more schools!

But, the question is though, how many secondary children are totally WITHOUT a school place come September? I suspect not many. So I guess it is a question of a very large number of people applying to a small number of popular schools.

This would perhaps not be such a problem if people had more trust in their local and nearest school. In a perfect world, all children would go to their local school and be happy and thrive.

St RR is a short walk from Twickenham station. It would be less than half an hour from Putney or Barnes rail.

£11 train fare daily is less than independent schools fees, thats for sure.

He can catch the bus there with his free Oyster card.

Yes, he can, 1 hour and 15 minutes. Two buses from where we live. I think it is a bit far.

He was not offered ST RR either so its a moot point.

Sorry that sounded snipey. The whole admissions system, as is discussed here at great length, is a massive, headachey lottery, and if you don't get the result you want it seems very unfair. But you already have a much greater choice than most people due to ability and desire to go private, and eligability for Faith schools. There are many, many schools which will take your son.

Also, the 33 goes all the way to Twickenham station, as noUggscuse points out. Surely you are not too far from catching that, as you talk about being close to IPS? And that would make it one bus (I know it's a moot point).

He may not have been offered a place but perhaps the waiting list will be fast moving. Given that it is a new school, the environment might be ideal for a child who has experienced bullying. No older students to intimidate the younger ones. Best of luck whatever school he goes to!

There is always unfairness....

My DS is autistic and I have now lost count of the secondary SENCO's who have told me that they will "struggle to meet" DS's needs. Loosely translated this means "his presence will affect our results"....even though I know they HAVE to give him a place and his needs CAN be met in any mainstream setting with the right support. This negativity included our local popular and oversubscribed non faith secondary school who are in competition with another school locally....neither want DS....because "unless he is pushing Level 4 he won't cope" And tbh I will not send my son to any school who are only taking him because they HAVE to.

Thankfully the local catholic secondary was not off putting and stressed they could be inclusive and care for DS while meeting his needs for an education, now clearly DS is also a Catholic but this is not the criteria under which he will be admitted to secondary school.

It seems if there is a particular issue...be it faith or any other need then there is unfairness.

Many many schools? Choice? Eligible for Faith schools? Negligible for Faith schools you mean.

Well, I am not denying that I am lucky to be able to scrape together the fees for an independent. For now. Not sure what we can do about ds2s secondary education as without a sibling in an RC secondary, he will be even less likely in 3 years to be offered a Faith school place. And I do not know that we will be able to pay 2 sets of school fees.

Here is to hoping that DS2 will turn out to be either musically, athletically or academically gifted so he can receive a Scholarship or a full bursary!

Cheers.

Barry I am high up the hill! Need to catch a bus down, and take 33 from the Junction.

It is the 18th today, and I think deadline for responding was 15th so the waiting lists should start moving.