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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Year 7 - packing their school bag

115 replies

minesawine · 11/09/2012 09:44

Hi My DS started Yr 7 last week. So far I have been packing his school bag every night after consulting his daily timetable. I just wanted to check whether you are doing this for your DC, or do they pack their own bag.

I want my DS to pack his own bag, but if I don't do it then he wont. I will give it one more week then he is on his own.

Am I being mean?

OP posts:

lljkk · 12/09/2012 11:44

Sheesh :(, it's a bit like seeing big kids in buggies, isn't this? How can you have an opinion over what other parents do, no adult is demanding that you must push (or pack, as it were)?

MrsMiniversCharlady · 12/09/2012 11:51

How can you have an opinion over what other parents do

Mumsnet would be very quiet if nobody had an opinion about other people's parenting

SomePeopleSayImBonkers · 12/09/2012 15:45

Wasn't the OP asking for our opinions? I also agree with MrsMiniversCharlady ....isn't that what this forum is all about?

Original poster

minesawine · 12/09/2012 17:00

As the person who started this thread I strongly agree with MrsMiniversCharlady and SomePeopleSayImBonkers, this forum is to get advice from others. I was not sure whether I was doing the right thing and now following some great advice I will be changing my strategy.

Thanks mumsnetters

OP posts:

Katryn · 12/09/2012 22:28

Showed my new Year 7 DS what to do last week, ref packing bag, looking at timetable etc and now he does it himself. He got a black mark today for forgetting just one of his French books. Next time detention. He also lost a Spanish sheet that he was meant to do for homework today, but otherwise pretty impressed.

SomePeopleSayImBonkers · 13/09/2012 15:59

minesawine - you are more than welcome! Yes, some people are more, shall we say, judgmental than others, but I believe that we all come on here to see what others think, gain advice, support, help, tips, etc.

Some and for you!

Hope that your DS begins to get himself organised. If he refuses, you can always show him this thread as evidence that everyone else does it!

VivaLeBeaver · 13/09/2012 17:40

Do I need to stop going through dd's planner as well to check what homework she's got?

MrsMiniversCharlady · 13/09/2012 17:42

We have to sign the homework diary every week; I use this opportunity to berate remind him about any outstanding assignments.

BellaVita · 13/09/2012 17:44

I have never ever packed their bags - yr8 and yr11.

They have to suffer the consequences and learn the hard way if the forget stuff.

BellaVita · 13/09/2012 17:45

Yes you do Viva.

seeker · 13/09/2012 18:15

It depends.

Certainly when dd was at the beginning of secondary school, she used to make a list of homework with due dates and the approximate time she thought it would take and she kept that on the family noticeboard, updating it regularly. This was so helpful for everyone- and she kept it up right through to year 11. It meant I didn't expect her to cook dinner on a heavy homework night, or if somebody rang asking her to baby sit or something I usually say whether she could do it or not. And I could gently push if necessary- but it usually wasn't- having it on public display concentrates the mind wonderfully!

VivaLeBeaver · 13/09/2012 18:22

I like the sound of a public homework list!

Blu · 13/09/2012 20:53

steady on folks - minesawine's DS has been very very unhappy going to secondary in the first week and I promise you on the other thread the OP has been very strong in knowing that he has to tough it out!

Minesawine - I would do it WITH him, talking him through the day in his planner. If you do it for him it might exacerbate the sense that secondary is being done TO him, rather than something he can take control over.

Given the situation, I wouldn't be heavy handed about making him do it, but do it together as if it is a pleasant thing to do. If possible.

Then gradually just make sure he has done it for himself.

Personally I don't think this is the moment for him to be learning the hard way about not having the right book etc. Better to facilitate him knowing that he can do things right for himself, set the day up to be positive and not get a detention for forgotten kit.

Original poster

minesawine · 13/09/2012 21:11

Thanks Blu, you are very kind. It has been a tough time for him. The school have been brilliant and he is now starting to settle down. No tears for the last two days.

He has just packed his own school bag with my supervising him, and has organised his homework over the next few days.

I am so glad that things are getting back to normal at home and he is a bit happier.

OP posts:

kilmuir · 13/09/2012 21:13

STOP IT NOW!
my older children have been doing their own bags and lunches from year 5 onwards. all i say in morning is ' lunch, homework, pe kit etc'

Blu · 13/09/2012 21:13

That's really good news - I really felt for you, and of course him, last week.

Onwards and upwards!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 13/09/2012 22:33

Ah, I've not seen the other thread.

Anyway, I don't mind helping with the bag packing and the lunches. DS pulls his weight elsewhere (kind of) and he does appreciate it.

randomfennel · 14/09/2012 09:29

Today's bag packing dilemma. It's not my yr 7, she's fine, it's the scatty yr 8. Who has packed her own back including for cookery, today I'm working from home and I find the mince - rather a key ingredient - in the fridge. Do I just shrug and accept we'll be eating inedible lasagne for dinner tonight? Or do I take it into school (1/2 hr trip by car or bike)? I don't mind if she gets told off for forgetting ingredients but I don't want to eat the result.

We've had years of encouraging independent bag packing but she's still pretty rubbish at it.

campergirls · 14/09/2012 09:34

Won't it just be vegetarian lasagne?

lljkk · 14/09/2012 09:40

Does she have to carry it on a long walk or bus ride home on her own, too?

I think if you want mince you take the mince in. Or you cook something completely different at home with the mince in it. That's about what you want, not principles of self-sufficiency.

randomfennel · 14/09/2012 09:40

It was already veggie mince for dd. It'll be disgusting veggie lasagne. (I'm not so fond of white sauce and large slices of pasta).

seeker · 14/09/2012 09:42

Lasagne without mince is just longitudinal spaghetti with veggie sauce - it'll be fine!

randomfennel · 14/09/2012 09:43

Dd normally cycles home, 10-15 mins. She can't get it home on her bike really either, that's been a whole other headache.

I canvassed DP who also forgets everything so he said he's probably take it in not let her suffer. So then I phone the school and asked if I should leave dd to suffer the consequeences, the nice receptionist said most parents did bring in forgotten ingredients. then she worked out that dd's cookery teacher was standing right there so I said ask her if I should bring in the ingredients or make dd suffer. And she said bring it in please it's her favourite group they're lovely! but then the teacher said she was off to Sainsbury's and could buy what we need so I ordered a packet of veggie mince and the teacher will send a note saying how much.

DD always gets away with everything. her teachers always let her off forgetting things cos she's got the art of sweet smiles and daffy eagerness down to a fine art.

bubby64 · 14/09/2012 13:54

I have been supervising my very scatty twin boys (yr 7) with their bags, they pack themselves then I have a sneaky check later- good thing too as, so far, I found forgotten lesson planner, lunch money, locker keys, and last night one had mislaid his French book & homework ( see other thread).
Yes, they used to pack their bags for (their very small) primary, but it's a totally different thing for High School, as they have a bus journey, a 2 week rota, different lessons to each other, (so they cant rely on brother having what is needed any more!) are moving around the much larger building and have no "base" to leave anything, so everything gets carried with you. The list of thing to remember is far more than ever before, so I don't think a little help in these early days will hurt!

motherinferior · 14/09/2012 14:18

Thing is, I don't know what DD1 needs. (Hell, sometimes I'm hard pushed to remember what I need for the day) It's her timetable, planner, etc. And at 11 frankly she's clearly ready for the whole shift to secondary, including taking a bit more responsibility for her life.

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