Special request for a day off refused

[triplets]

Am I wrong to be so disappointed and upset? My trio are in yr 9, have at the most an average of 1/2 days off sick in a school year. The school have said no taking children out of school for holidays. Their father has ad vanced bowel/liver/lung cancer and we get the dreaded next scan result on the 26th. It is the kids 14th b/day on the 27th and I had a phone call from my niece to say Center Parcs had some good offers on for their b/day w/end, they had just booked and it would be nice to meet up. I went up to the school and spoke to a receptionist who said she was sure it wouldn`t be a problem, but best to e-mail the head and explain, they are fully aware of their Dads illness. Three days went by and no reply, I checked with CP and there were only 2 villas left so I went ahead and booked it. This morning I phoned the school and managed to speak to the heads PA, she said there was a letter in the post to me saying that they could not allow it, they understand our special circumstances but could not make an exception for us. I was so upset and said could they not take into account our childrens excellent attendance, the fact that I could have done what I know many parents do and call in sick? We cannot go away at Feb half term as one of my boys has an important dental appt one of three which cannot be changed. Also my husband is being scanned every three months so we are never now able to pre book say for Easter or the summer holidays, everything we do now has to be last minute. No insurance company will cover him and we are so stressed it just all seems unfair! Sorry to rant just feeling fed up!

I'd take them out. Just put it down as Unauthorised. Sod the head. The time you all spend together as a family is far more important than a few school days.

Just call in sick anyway, bugger them!

Go away, the school can't do anything. If your children's attendance is excellent anyway it won't cause a problem.

triplets, just go. Honestly, nothing awful will happen. They are in y9 so there shoudl be no CGSE exams, the school cannot and will not kick them out for non-attendance, and probably the individual subject teachers are all sympathetic. i say this as a teacher who is always moaning about students taking time off for holidays!

What are the reasons behind saying no?

I'd just take them without permission and deal with any reprocutions when you get back.

You are right to feel disappointed and upset. Schools should judge each case separately. Here it sounds as though the head has vetoed all holidays irrespective of circumstances. If your children have good attendance a few days holiday, especially if they're only in year 9 ,won't damage their education. It will affect the schools attendance statistics- but that's not your problem.

Personally, I would have no qualms in going ahead and enjoying your holiday. Don't feel guilty. What about all those days in the run up to xmas when the children watch dvds and generally muck about? and all the lessons covered by unqualified cover supervisors when the teacher is off sick?

best wishes to all of you and a big hug :)

I agree with everyone else....good luck x

Just go. Things have got stricter and their rules probably say they can't authorise it despite your circumstances, but there is nothing they can do to stop you, and there are unlikely to be any consequences if it is just one day.

Just go! And don't bother asking next time.
I know heads get shit from the LEA, who get shit from the Government, but homestly

Agree with everyone you should just go. I don't know anyone who has been refused higher education, jobs etc on the grounds of an unauthorised absence. Would like to know what exactly the school does class as a special circumstance. Am angry and annoyed on your behalf. Go and enjoy your family time together and create some good memories for your triplets to remember if times get hard.

In total agreement. Just go. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

DS has had countless days 'off timetable' throughout the school year including an 'educational' trip abroad, participating in school musicals, activity days. I am sure your family trip is equally as valuable.

Please go.

Gosh thank you all, I didnt expect such a response. My husband doesnt want anymore stress so has said we will go straight from school on Frid and come back Sun afternoon. That means the kids cant do anything really on their b/day as we wont get to CP until around 7.30pm, then by the time we have got to the villa and unpacked its too late for them even to go to the pool. I feel very tempted to take your advice and stay until the Sun, only I know my dh and dc`s would only worry. I thought perhaps I was over-reacting, I feel better by having your support. Thank you everyone.

Just go, this is more important for your family. The teacher is thinking of their ofstead rating, not your children.

Have a fantastic time.

sanctions for unauthorised hols dont kick in until you hit 5 consecutive days. So go, and enjoy. There is nothing they can do but dissapprove. Go Thursday night and enjoy your time together.

I had a year 10 and a year 8 child last year and year 10 were on lock-down due to controlled assessments etc. I'm very strict on school attendance but even I booked a CP weekend for my fathers 70 (who also had cancer). We checked there were no actual CAs or exams and took Friday unauthorised. We did, however, leave very early Monday morning so they didn't miss any of Mondays lessons.

They ended up finishing the year on 98.7 attendance.

Just go. I am a teacher, and seriously, I'd just go. Schools don't have a choice. Ofsted hammer attendance, but you have bigger concerns than that right now. Enjoy.

I am very, very much against term time holidays and think they should not be allowed.

I think you should take your trio out of school and sod what the head teacher thinks on this occasion. Go on your holiday, and do your best to have a fantastic time.

The school won't be able to do anything about it and, from what you have said, the time together as a family is much more important.

The head might have been told by governors not to authorise any absences and is thinking of OFSTED and taking it to the nth degree. It's ridiculous because OFSTED also look at unauthorised absence levels and she must know that you will go anyway. They need to be more flexible. We have a policy of not authorising holiday absence, as decided by the governors but in your situation the absence would be authorised.
I think you should go, as I said.

Go!!!! It's one day unauthorized absence, it will make absolutely no difference at all.

Hi thank you all for your support. I have just shown my husband your replies, he said ok we will do it, but he says he will feel guilty. I am not sure if the guilt comes from them missing school for what after all will be 6 hours or guilt ,feeling bad that its his illness that now stops us from ever pre booking a holiday. The way his scan times goes means that being scanned and getting the result in Jan, only gives us a short time to find a break in Feb half term. Next scan falls just in April, middle of school holidays. Next scan would be July, just in time for Aug holidays etc etc. No insurance to cover his cancer means we can`t afford to take the risk because we then lose all monies paid. The first year he was diagnosed we lost £700 on flight deposits. Last year we managed two separate weeks, last minute booking in the UK. Our last long family holiday was Aug 2007.

I agree with everyone else - you must absolutely go and there is no need to feel guilty as you all need some fun by the sound of it. I'm a school governor and I agree with another poster, it sounds as if the HT has been told to forbid all in term absence probably because as a whole the school is close to missing whatever their target is. This is just NOT your problem. I would even respond to the letter saying you regret their insensitive attitude but in the circumstances cannot agree with their request.

I hope you all have a lovely time and all the best for the scan!

The school probably have no choice but to say no, regardless of what they might actually feel about the situation.

Definitely go, and don't give it another thought.

Seriously, they will have had to send that letter, but will probably actually FEEL more understanding. In any case, so what? They should feel more understanding. Go, with no qualms, and enjoy yourselves.

I am not one for taking Ds out of school, do not advocate people taking hols in term time, but 2 days, in your situation? Don't think twice!

Don't feel guilty. It's school. 2 days is hardly going to damage their education. It's much more important for all of you to have a good break.

Apologies if you've already tried them but link to some specialist insurance companies.