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Secondary education

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Original poster

anyone else starting to get worried?

177 replies

cricketballs · 16/08/2011 12:00

I know that I should know better; I teach GCSEs and every year have the same discussions with students/parents that no matter results there is always a route available for the future.

But now, it is a week and 1 day away from my own DS getting his GCSE results and I am really starting to get nervous! He needs B grades in order to go to his first choice college and C grades for his 2nd choice (which neither DS nor myself were really enthusiastic about attending).

I have the old 'sweet smile' on the outside but inside I have all sorts of events going through my head! For example, what if he has failed everything and decides to not go to college at all (even though I know it wont be that bad).

Surely my working experience should prevent this but it isn't Blush

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Theas18 · 16/08/2011 20:06

Bloody terrified here! Shouldn't be, all " should" be fine but still a level results day is a big big deal.... The girlie us her usual air headed "la la is something happening. Hello birds, hello flowers" ( think Luna from Harry potter!).

Kez100 · 17/08/2011 20:50

Up to today I have assumed students go in on their own or with their friends to pick up GCSE results next week. Today a parent told me she was going with her daughter and now I am wondering if I am going to look disinterested if I don't go (I am completely the opposite - just didn't want to cramp her independance!). What's the norm?

Original poster
cricketballs · 17/08/2011 21:53

every year that I have attended my own school on results (GCSE) day there has been a mix; some 'allowing' their parents in, some only allowing their parents to sit in the car park and others whose parents were left at home...

At the moment I am only being allowed in the car park (mainly as I will have to drive him to a college to confirm his place Hmm)

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mumeeee · 17/08/2011 22:59

I went with DD1 to get her GCSE results but waited outside the school while she went in. SHe is mow 34 so was a few years ago, D2 and DD3 wnet completly by themselves,

spanieleyes · 18/08/2011 08:54

DS2 is going in to get his AS results, he is leaving me at home. I will know how bad the results are by the length of time he takes to walk back. Anything over half an hour and it's not good Sad

Theas18 · 18/08/2011 09:15

Well she's gone to school with friends I'm at work (really wanted her to take her dad in case it wasn't OK and clearing needed to be thought of but she wouldn't..)

Tenterhooks doesn't cover it!

4merlyknownasSHD · 18/08/2011 10:12

Why not go with her, then sit in the car while she goes in (then follow up behind her and wait outside the building where she goes to collect them). Then she will know that you are interested, but also value her independence. Also, if things go well you can join in her celebrations. If they don't, she has a shoulder to cry on.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 18/08/2011 10:27

Was just thinking about starting a thread for next week's results, so thank you OP.

We've just got DD1's AS results while standing in the security queue at Malaga Airport. Constantly refreshing my phone for over an hour! But she's done fantastically and I am so so proud of her.

DD2's next on the list with her GCSEs next week. Swinging between fear and excitement. She's predicted excellent grads, but has spent the past month fretting and working herself into something of a tizz. She will be going in on her own (DD1 is driving her in) - I am in Spain and her Dad has been barred from attending! She has promised to phone me as she's opening the envelope.....

Then, next year I'll have three bloody results coming through - A levels (DD1), AS (DD2) and GCSEs with DS. If I haven't buried myself by then with the stress that is.

mumslife · 18/08/2011 13:44

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cat64 · 18/08/2011 14:08

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4merlyknownasSHD · 18/08/2011 14:12

Cat64, they come out the week after A Levels (which are today). Working on the basis of this being Week 33 in my calendar, GCSEs will be Week 34 both this year and, almost certainly, next year.

cat64 · 18/08/2011 14:32

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RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 18/08/2011 14:39

Mumslife - I'll be a serious old hand at it all by then!! I shall have the Wine ready for you!

Cat64 - it should be on 23rd August for GCSEs and 16th for A and AS levels. This is according to DS's SRB which, oddly for a 15 year old boy, he had with him?

MABS · 18/08/2011 15:04

I am absolutely dreading next Thurs too, many thanks for starting the thread op :)

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 18/08/2011 15:08

I asked my DS if he was worried, and he said
'What's the point?
Either I've done well, in which case everything is fine, or I'll be doing re-takes and then A levels, which will be annoying but inevitable.
So what's the point in worrying? It will not affect the outcome.'
he is now constructing something in his shed, and whistling.
The annoying thing is that he's right. Dam that Aspie logic!

Original poster
cricketballs · 18/08/2011 15:09

GCSE results always come out the week before the bank holiday weekend, A levels the week before that

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Original poster
cricketballs · 18/08/2011 15:11

after reading through the A level thread it is only gong to get worse.....

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RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 18/08/2011 15:46

Honestly - my nerves were far far worse last year with the first batch of GCSE results with DD1, than her AS results today. And I think I am still more nervous about DD2's results next week as well. Ah pass the wine.

mumslife · 18/08/2011 21:46

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 18/08/2011 21:55

Mumslife - if she wants to do well, then all I can recommend is that you support her from a distance... they know what's in store, they know what's expected and they know that the more they put in, the more they get out. I didn't hound my DDs and I won't my DS either, I just occasionally reminded them that they get out what they earn IYSWIM. They were very good at moderating themselves, I did let them play, but they also knew when to say no to things. It appears to have worked with the girls - I shall report back with DS....

Original poster
cricketballs · 18/08/2011 22:03

rock; that approach would not have worked with my ds; after his parents evening in Feb (they said he was taking life too easy, which I had already guessed!) I implemented a revision programme of 40 mins per night. This broke down to 20 mins one subject, 10 mins break then 20 mins of another subject. I made the timetable so that the 2 subjects studied each night were not similar i.e. maths and R.M, english and physics etc. I also made sure that this was done downstairs with the TV off etc so I could monitor clearly that he was working. After this, the rest of the evening was his to do what he wanted (within reason Grin)

Whilst we had a battle the first week (I had to threaten to remove laptop, phone) but after that he just accepted it and lo and behold, closer to the exams he actually admitted that he felt more confident doing it this way than his normal 'cram the night before' approach!

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RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 19/08/2011 08:51

Cricket - fair enough. Mine were always aware of the silent threat of laptop/phone removal though! I've never really come down on any of them like a ton of bricks, and I've been fairly relaxed with things as they've got older. BUT. And it's a big but...they know that when I say no, I really do mean it and they don't bother to push me. I think (well for us anyway), the fact that I have never repeatedly said no, no, no to things, they understand that I will give and take in response to them and their behaviour. DS has, at times, been a shit of the highest order. But he has watched his older sisters do extremely well at school and now that he's in the final run up to GCSEs this next year, he has finally started to 'get' that work = results (thank God!).

He is fully aware that if I have one tiny bit of negative feedback from his teachers then his iPhone will be removed. I have reason to believe that as it appears to be surgically attached to him, this is quite an incentive NOT to piss me off!!

DD1 dropped a couple of definite A grades with her GCSEs last year for no reason other than the fact that she simply didn't do enough work for them. She blames no one but her silly self for that and, though grateful they were subjects she wasn't continuing with, it was a kick up the bum enough to make sure she didn't do the same with AS this year. She reminds DS from time to time, and hopefully it's sunk in.

As their mother I want them to aim high and achieve high. But when it's all over, the results are a matter of supreme indifference to MY future. They know that really the only person they let down when they fuck about and don't work to their best ability, is themselves.

Still crapping myself for DD2's results next week, even though she's predicted a good run of them.

Original poster
cricketballs · 19/08/2011 09:06

I'm glad for your DS rock that he has the experience of your DDs as that must be really helpful. Unfortunately for my DS he is the oldest!

only 6 more days of smiling sweetly but wobbling inside!

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RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 19/08/2011 09:18

It's a massive bonus he's the third one I think! I am quite sure my tale would be the opposite had he been my first child...

You know what? There's not a great deal we can do to change what happens on Thursday. So I'll put the cava on ice and we can celebrate or commiserate in style!!

It sounds to me that your study plan was a brilliant one, and I'm sure he put the effort in, in the end...

Original poster
cricketballs · 19/08/2011 09:24

its just been so strange being on the other foot; as I said when I started the thread I teach to GCSE and have the 'scripted' version for results day for all students and parents from the well done that's better than you thought to the lets find a solution etc.

the cava idea is certainly one I will be using Grin

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