Private schools - what are the long term benefits?

[lme30005]

Hi
Hoping someone who has been through private schools or their DC's, can give me some insight.
I am thinking of putting my DS's name down for a private school to start in year 7, and he would be followed by his siblings. I'm trying to justify the huge costs incurred by putting them all through private education. Obviously the main benefits will be smaller class sizes, better facilities, better results hopefully. But what would the long term benefits be? Would they actually do better after school, in jobs etc? And would there be any negative things about them going private? I'm a little worried that they may not be much better off long term than going to the local very average comp.
Thanks
Louise

Going back to the care home issue re medical applicants. You will need to be 18 to work on care in a care home. Many also require NVQ qualifications or be studying towards them. Most medical applicants will be applying before they reach 18.

If one is turned down and told to go and do a gap year at 18 working on care then I think this is an excellent idea and proves that the privately educated A* students might need a reality check before the can start to train as doctors.

You may well need to be 18 to work at paid employment in a care home - I don't know - but you can certainly do work experience from 16, because I know that a 16 year old has been spending two hours a week in my dad's care home for the last year, talking to the residents, etc- she's done it as her service component for D of E. It may vary according to who owns the care home, or the local authority, of course.

Yes my DD does something similar but they won't be able to get a job as a care worker and wipe bums until they are 18. Which would be excellent grounding for some of these public school wannabe doctors.

l will not bore you with why we chose an Independant but l do feel it is no more "buying a good education" than someone who buys property in a particular catchment area. l believe that any child from a supportive family who is of normal intelligence going to an average school will do OK. It is when one of these is compromised that potntial is not realised.
My son did not wish to go to a school other than where his friends were going - he passed the entrance test and won a playstation, thats how he saw it. His first year was awful. School felt that he ws not used to sitting down and concentratingfor any length of time. l would phone ahead and 2 teachers would be on hand to haul him out the car.

He spent 1 term in Kenya exchange with another school in the group and things started to change. School also suggested flexiboard to reduce traveling time this progressed to boarding weekly - then inevitably full time as he was in every sports team imaginable. Nearly every day at 7pm his house master would phone - after a gin l'ed phone back - between school and home "carrot and stick" he improved. When he was particularly difficult they would take away his sport - that ment he'd " let school down " and we'd be told so that we wouln't waste a journey. Expectations of behaviour were fair and consistant. Both child and parent understood and if you did not agree then probably it wasn't the school for you. l used to hate parents evening as you only saw the teachers where you felt the there were issues plus housemaster. For us it was most of them. All said the same charming, bright, made dumb insolence an art form and he would not reach his potential if he didn't change his attitude. For some teachers he'ed jump off Beachy Head if asked -others - well you can imagine.
GCSE's were mediocre - scrapped into 6th form.
New girl from Germany came and the transformation was unbelievable.
A levels - astonishing. Gap year in Germany ( D for french gcse) now fluent in german. Just graduated fron Southampton uni and about to start post grad medicine at Swansea having turned down a place at Imperial Colledge London for Medicine.
We had a boy who had a problem and our local state education provision at primary level was left wanting. Our son did not have the time for us to fight the system so we were left with little choice. However throught school he travelled most years to some where, As they progressed up the school they got privillages and responsibility - he used to help coach the little ones and supervise preps etc. Mentoring children who had similar problems to the ones he had. Learnt to take responcibility for himself and his behaviour. Organise himself . Self disapline when it came to studying - l do think the preparation for uni was good - being self reliant, knowing when and how to get help. Feeding himself and cooking on a budget ( weekends) His self confidence grew and he has a gift of being able to chat to anyone. l feel he has come out a very rounded person. Obviously we had imput but we got our moneys worth because our son was not "the most glorious" acamedic. He was very hard work but because they had time, our backing,he had nowhere to run and socould be confronted about his behaviour and attitude. He was given a belief that he could do and be anything he wanted provided he worked hard - and he has proved that by the work he had to do inorder to apply for medicine whilst doing his degree. He still plays sport to a reasonable level in uni 1st teams. School reinforced the values that we believed in - fairness, do unto others as you would like to be"
Financially £25.000 a year plus extras is alot to find. My Polo has 235,000 on the clock and my husbunds suburu isn't far behind. l missed ski - ing - we have a caravan in Pembrokeshire for holidays. We have a horrid house in a lovely village. we had to go from a very comfy lifestyle to thinking twice about buying luxuary items. In some ways we have learnt alot about what we don't need yet advertising makes you believe you do. It was good traing for paying for uni.
Was it worth it - for us - every penny and hopefully in 4yrs time he may even have financially gainful employment !!

l will not bore you with why we chose an Independant but l do feel it is no more "buying a good education" than someone who buys property in a particular catchment area. l believe that any child from a supportive family who is of normal intelligence going to an average school will do OK. It is when one of these is compromised that potntial is not realised.
My son did not wish to go to a school other than where his friends were going - he passed the entrance test and won a playstation, thats how he saw it. His first year was awful. School felt that he ws not used to sitting down and concentratingfor any length of time. l would phone ahead and 2 teachers would be on hand to haul him out the car.

He spent 1 term in Kenya exchange with another school in the group and things started to change. School also suggested flexiboard to reduce traveling time this progressed to boarding weekly - then inevitably full time as he was in every sports team imaginable. Nearly every day at 7pm his house master would phone - after a gin l'ed phone back - between school and home "carrot and stick" he improved. When he was particularly difficult they would take away his sport - that ment he'd " let school down " and we'd be told so that we wouln't waste a journey. Expectations of behaviour were fair and consistant. Both child and parent understood and if you did not agree then probably it wasn't the school for you. l used to hate parents evening as you only saw the teachers where you felt the there were issues plus housemaster. For us it was most of them. All said the same charming, bright, made dumb insolence an art form and he would not reach his potential if he didn't change his attitude. For some teachers he'ed jump off Beachy Head if asked -others - well you can imagine.
GCSE's were mediocre - scrapped into 6th form.
New girl from Germany came and the transformation was unbelievable.
A levels - astonishing. Gap year in Germany ( D for french gcse) now fluent in german. Just graduated fron Southampton uni and about to start post grad medicine at Swansea having turned down a place at Imperial Colledge London for Medicine.
We had a boy who had a problem and our local state education provision at primary level was left wanting. Our son did not have the time for us to fight the system so we were left with little choice. However throught school he travelled most years to some where, As they progressed up the school they got privillages and responsibility - he used to help coach the little ones and supervise preps etc. Mentoring children who had similar problems to the ones he had. Learnt to take responcibility for himself and his behaviour. Organise himself . Self disapline when it came to studying - l do think the preparation for uni was good - being self reliant, knowing when and how to get help. Feeding himself and cooking on a budget ( weekends) His self confidence grew and he has a gift of being able to chat to anyone. l feel he has come out a very rounded person. Obviously we had imput but we got our moneys worth because our son was not "the most glorious" acamedic. He was very hard work but because they had time, our backing,he had nowhere to run and socould be confronted about his behaviour and attitude. He was given a belief that he could do and be anything he wanted provided he worked hard - and he has proved that by the work he had to do inorder to apply for medicine whilst doing his degree. He still plays sport to a reasonable level in uni 1st teams. School reinforced the values that we believed in - fairness, do unto others as you would like to be"
Financially £25.000 a year plus extras is alot to find. My Polo has 235,000 on the clock and my husbunds suburu isn't far behind. l missed ski - ing - we have a caravan in Pembrokeshire for holidays. We have a horrid house in a lovely village. we had to go from a very comfy lifestyle to thinking twice about buying luxuary items. In some ways we have learnt alot about what we don't need yet advertising makes you believe you do. It was good traing for paying for uni.
Was it worth it - for us - every penny and hopefully in 4yrs time he may even have financially gainful employment !!

I find it rather odd that this has come down to getting into medicine. As a widowed mother of 4 when my eldest was starting secondary private was not an option and the geography of the area meant there was only one school available. However DD1 2 and 3 all got in to study medicine, when DD1, now 27 and specialising in nuclear medicine, went she was the only person she knew from a state school, DD3 is about to start her final year and her cohort is about 50-50. The impression I get is that since everyone now gets all As, well A* now, other personal characteristics carry much more weight. DD3 was told at her interview that it was refreshing that she had a saturday job in Woolworths! I lecture at a Russell Group university (Arts subject) and sometimes privately educated candidates have been too well 'coached' and lack( or have been told not to show) that spark we are looking for. This is a problem that is increasing every year.

Of course I wont have this problem with DD4, at 15 she currently wants to be a lifeguard on Bondi beach!

propatria My DCs are at private schools - one is 11,00 the other 10,000. A bit over your limit I admit. Both schools always in the top ten in the country for GCSEs and A levels.

Private schools do not guarrentee good teaching and learning. Often children have the knowledge drummed into them but are not taught to figure things out themselves. Great for passing exams but can fail DCs at uni.

Private schools may not have spare cash for investing in upgrading lots of facilities or resources. I toured a private school that used textbooks from the 1980s!

Your DCs may also find that they are in a smaller social group and do not get the experience of a diverse social circle.

OH was privately educated (not that long ago) and his severe dyslexia was missed till he was sitting his GCSEs, he has low grades at A Level (C, C, D) and scraped out of university (6 years for a 4 year course) having to resit two years and with only a 2:2. Private school failed him educationally but socially it was great for him, particularly the sport.

On the other hand I went to a normal comp where my SpLD was missed completely, got goodish A Levels (A,A,E), got a 1st class at university, distinction at a MSc and have since done another post-grad qualification. Yet school socially was bad and I didn't excel in myself until uni.