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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Private schools - what are the long term benefits?

108 replies

lme30005 · 06/07/2011 14:34

Hi
Hoping someone who has been through private schools or their DC's, can give me some insight.
I am thinking of putting my DS's name down for a private school to start in year 7, and he would be followed by his siblings. I'm trying to justify the huge costs incurred by putting them all through private education. Obviously the main benefits will be smaller class sizes, better facilities, better results hopefully. But what would the long term benefits be? Would they actually do better after school, in jobs etc? And would there be any negative things about them going private? I'm a little worried that they may not be much better off long term than going to the local very average comp.
Thanks
Louise

OP posts:

propatria · 08/07/2011 14:06

If all you are interested in is exam results then no...

Ishani · 08/07/2011 14:12

well since they are the only quantifiable measure that's what we look at, of course the children enjoying and being happy there is the most important aspect but they could be happy in many schools.

Amaretti · 08/07/2011 16:08

Let's just assume you are not in the north, propatria. Either that or you're an arse.

levantine · 08/07/2011 16:18

I went to a vg, competitive and now extremely fashionable private school in London
My sister went to a state school (long story)

Of the families we grew up with there is absolutely no correlation between academic achievement, career and whether people went to state or private school

Sister went to Oxford and has phd from LSE
A close friend that went to my school dropped out before A levels and never really got back on track

propatria · 08/07/2011 20:22

Provincial private schools have very little interest for me,be they in the North ,South ,East or West,the only thing I find interesting are the chippy parents

Yellowstone · 08/07/2011 22:43

That's funny because MN has shown there to be some crazily chippy Eton mums too.

daytoday · 09/07/2011 10:24

Interesting debate. We are currently thinking about whether to send our children to private secondary school. My husband is privately educated and I am state school educated.

I don't think personal success and how you quantify it (happiness? income? career? health?) has anything to do with whether you send your child to state or private. Bullying etc will play a much bigger role in this and happen at both types of school.

But I think my son responds very well to smaller class sizes and am looking for a school that has a more personal approach to education.

forehead · 09/07/2011 15:26

Parental support is the most important factor. My bil sent his dd's to a 'good'' private school and they left with fairly average GCSE results, despite the £ 10, 000 a year fees. My sil sent her dc's to a 'good state school
and they achieved A'S and B's. The difference, was that my sil tutored her dc's at home, while my bil relied on the school .

Ishani · 09/07/2011 16:14

Parental support can only go so far unless you intend to pack in the whole syllabus between the hours of home time and bedtime with extra help at weekends, what a fun life that sounds for everyone.

menagerie · 09/07/2011 19:04

I was chatting about indie v state schools with a colleague and she said one important advantage (she is pro private from reception on) is that they will mix with people who are in a position to help them get on later in life. The parents of friends they make in private schools will be, say, lawyers who will take on pupils they know etc. I was absolutely shocked when she said this - so snobbish - then realised she was just being more honest than most. It is a benefit, if your child is likely to go into one of the traditional professions.

I knew a very bright working class boy who was an excellent law student and couldn't get a pupilage for two years. In the end a brilliant lawyer took him on, not on the strength of his ability but because he started going out with a very nicely brought up gel who moved in the lawyer's son's circle. Like it or not, this is an important advantage.

glassescase · 09/07/2011 19:40

The best private day schools round here - getting many to Oxbridge and excellent exam/sport/music charge around £9-10 thousand a year.

LovetheHarp · 09/07/2011 20:11

Menagerie - but it's not like that anymore or for everyone - plenty of lawyers, doctors, etc send their children to state schools (ok not sink ones, but good ones), I am surrounded by them!

redglow · 09/07/2011 21:24

Propatara It doesnt mean the more expensive school is the better one. How snobby.

Ishani · 09/07/2011 22:52

Spot on Menagerie, when my children were at state school the other children's parents were nurses, estate agents, no doctors or lawyers, at private they are mixing with consultants children and the nurses are at the top of their pay scale, prescribing and married to consultants. I have benefited enormously myself with career advice, character references etc already from other parents and the children aren't out of prep yet. I can see the advantages to asking so and so's mum for work experience, connections, introductions etc and that just didn't seem available at the local C of E primary, I don't believe for a moment I've suddenly become better at networking more that the information flows more freely at private schools because that's how it works.

Yellowstone · 09/07/2011 23:11

You're having a joke, Ishani, right?

Ishani · 09/07/2011 23:13

Er no

Yellowstone · 09/07/2011 23:26

How old are your kids Ishani? I'm guessing quite young.

Ishani · 09/07/2011 23:27

What makes you say that ?

Gooseberrybushes · 09/07/2011 23:36

I think it's dangerous to consider this an investment in your child. It can be very damaging if said child then fails to perform, or decides to become an artist or a social worker etc. In fact I think I read a thread about a parent disappointed because her privately educated child became a teacher.

The best school will educate them superbly and make them happy and confident enough to make their own choices with maturity and awareness. That's what you need.

Yellowstone · 09/07/2011 23:39

It just sounds to me that you haven't hit the real world of uni apps yet!

Gooseberrybushes · 09/07/2011 23:44

"I still think on the whole, the money could have been better spent or invested for DS if he wants to go to Uni or start a business, or anything else young people want to do but can't afford!"

This is a really interesting point of view. It's the only point of view in any private/state debate that has actually given me pause EVER.

100,000 would be very nicely invested in a business. Or a house. But then, they are getting a sodding good education.

Damn you.

Ishani · 09/07/2011 23:48

My worry is without a good state or private education if you give somebody £100,000 it could be lost through divorce or the business could fail through no fault of their own, I always figure that the one thing that can never be taken off them is their qualifications (assuming they don't cheat or anything like that).

No uni applications are a way off for us, if we ever get there at all. Having said that I shall be lapping up all the advice I can from those who've been there and got the tshirt either themselves or via their older DC's and there's a hell of a lot to learn that I wouldn't have even considered has changed from the 90's when DH and I filled out our UCAS/PCAS forms.

Yellowstone · 09/07/2011 23:57

I'm currently on DC4 with UCAS and very happy to help. But the main thing thankfully seems to be merit. Beware making too much of high profile work experience placements on the PS, really!

Ishani · 10/07/2011 11:32

There has to be a balance doesn't there, but i know people who were turned down from medicine with 4 A's and told to go and work in an old peoples home to gain "experience" of what being abused and wiping shit up ? Ridiculous.

alice15 · 10/07/2011 13:51

I have a year 8 daughter in a private school, who currently wants to read medicine, who may well get four As at A level - like every other pupil in her school who wants to read medicine, of which there are many. I also have a father with dementia who's been in a care home for five years, and I absolutely, 100% think that if my DD does eventually apply for medicine, her chances of getting in should be increased more by work experience in a care home than some lavish medical tourism trip overseas, which seems to be the up and coming thing for medicine applicants. All the medicine applicants are bright. Choosing bright applicants who will make compassionate and realistic doctors seems paramount to me, and getting them to do something like work in a care home is an excellent way of sorting the sheep from the goats. The residents in care homes are people, Ishani, and a doctor's Hippocratic oath is to help people. Don't you think that finding out what it's like to work with dependent and needy people would be a valuable test of someone's suitability to be a doctor?
It's been like that for veterinary applicants for years - they won't even look at you without weeks of practical work experience, whatever sort of school you come from. It was like that when I got into vet school 30 odd years ago, and the work experience I did in the sixth form was invaluable.
Sorry for the derailment, but I don't think it's right to make such negative comments about care homes. I know a lot of consultants who could learn something from a couple of weeks in a care home, on the coal face of care, as it were.

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