Private schools - what are the long term benefits?

[lme30005]

Hi
Hoping someone who has been through private schools or their DC's, can give me some insight.
I am thinking of putting my DS's name down for a private school to start in year 7, and he would be followed by his siblings. I'm trying to justify the huge costs incurred by putting them all through private education. Obviously the main benefits will be smaller class sizes, better facilities, better results hopefully. But what would the long term benefits be? Would they actually do better after school, in jobs etc? And would there be any negative things about them going private? I'm a little worried that they may not be much better off long term than going to the local very average comp.
Thanks
Louise

Not many of the schools near us are over £9000 a year but that is for day schools.

Yes, Pag is right depends on the child and the school.

My criteria are:
Is my child pushed too hard, feeling inadequate, unhappy with her experience during the day and struggling?
Is my child bored shitless all day and sitting around idling her day away because the work is easy for her?

If you answer "yes" to either question your child is at the wrong school.

DD started in state, she is currently in private, we may move her back to state depending on her needs. Right now the local private meets her needs better than the local state. This could change.

In my area of good state schools and no grammars there is a trend that if your child is above average in school they stay in the state section, their less able siblings go to the private schools. This is a generalisation as some kids go to private schools because they were going off the rails and other parents only have one child and just choose private because they can afford it but not many are preconditioned to private but it is a middle class areas and I case parents have chosen to live in the area to save on private school costs but it does explain somewhat why all the state schools do so well in the leagues.

Day schools near us are mainly about £4-5000a term, about £15000 a year.

bitsy that's interesting and the complete opposite of our area (uber middle class, commuter belt to the City).

It has some of the highest achieving state schools in the country and yet the independent schools are full to busting too, especially the highly selective ones where the non-academic siblings you speak of couldn't get a place.

Just a little stat for you which I've always been fond of:

the correlation between amount of money spent on schooling and achievement as university is directly inversely proportional

wow propatria all that money on education and yet not enough to teach you any manners...

Have one in London Independent Day School (Boy). Pluses: three separate sciences, French (English Lang and Lit, Maths, RS, (then two to three of: German, Latin, Greek, Mandarin, Spanish, Italian, Russian, History, Geography, Art, History of Art, D&T, IT, Music, PE). Incredible art, music and science facilities and super sports facilities with: rugby, football, hockey, tennis, cricket, rowing, squash, golf, athletics, swimming, fencing, etc., all on offer. DS went at 9 and we have never had a moments worry, the communication is superb - have all the staff e-mails and have emailed perhaps five times in 8 years and only once for something fundamentally important, the staff are helpful and polite and on the one occasion we had a problem it was sorted effortlessly. The downside is 18K per annum plus expenses.

Have one in a small girls London comprehensive. Pluses: it's free and the staff by and large and the quality of the teaching has been OK. The communication is dreadful - inept and inadequate, behaviour management is poor, expectations are not high enough, the curriculum is narrower than we were led to believe, there is constant disruption. Front of house is sloppy, rude and unhelpful - a brilliant face for the school. Concerns are not dealt with and the tone is patronising. There is a total denial that a minority of children are bullies and intimidating and are a problem - I am the only parent who has complained about it according to the head. There is a growing group of Y7 and 8 mothers now sharing correspondence with each other that has been addressed to the Head. This is an oversubscribed school with super results and an excellent reputation. Fortunately our DD has only one more week to go and then she is free and off to the other sector from September.

Ultimately, it's about communication and one's confidence in the establishment. These may be two extreme examples but goodness we researched it carefully. Whilst I accept that hands are tied in the state sector in relation to exclusions etc., that is the real difference. The utterly dysfunctional and disruptive would simply not stay elsewhere.

bitsyandbetty agreed my sister is doing this she has a naughty one and a good one dd1 is going to private as he needs a firm hand and small classes and dd2 is going state she is not easily distracted and will be fine in a larger class

marriedinwhite identical pluses at our school with the exception of the wide choice of MFL and Greek. State though, so no downside.

Your experience sounds bad, not surprised you want your DD to leave.

wow maypole that's a very tricky message to sell to your kids no?

Agree word, it's a minefield, surely.

Doesn't sending siblings to different sectors create choppy waters too?

I don't have personal experience but would have thought so unless you can expalin very clearly why this is the best decision for all the DC involved.

I wouldn't like t tell a child that they had to go to independent school because they were naughty or whatever. Nor would I want to tell a child that they could manage with state because they were good.

And I'd be very worried that whatever I actually said, if this were the truth of my rationale...it would come across.

Imagine how pissed off the 'good' child is going to be ever summer, when 'naughty' sibling breaks up weeks earlier...

Married in white, my kids state comp offers the same as your fee paying. Yesterday DD was doing some Japanese and Chinese, Chinese is offered as a free extra.

As I said earlier, my sister and I went to state school and my brothers to private. I couldn't go to their school as it was boys only, and the private girls school was poor academically. My brothers, sister and I all got into medicine at a top university. It doesn't have to cause problems in a family.

Origins. Doesn,t have to cause trouble; but in my experience if someone gets different manners and much higher income factions will occur. (party because he or she will want to run the family) And will often get followers and dislikers. Playwrights would be out of business if it were not so,

Part of the benefits from private school is that you can network with influenciall people.

Smaller class sizes, not have to follow national curriculum so lessons adapt it to fit the child, able to enter alternative exams IB, igcses, subjects such as classics, Latin, other languages not often offered by state schools, Higher chance of gaining a place at an elite university , access to old boys network

at old boys' network. I suppose it rather depends what your ambitions are.

I am not sure how much people benefit from old boys' networks if they do not mix in those circles anyway. I have an old Harrovian friend who I have known since he was 25, by which time he already had absolutely no contact with anyone he had been at school with.

There is only thing that makes a school a "good" or "bad" (for want of common clarification) and that is "people!". End of.

A lot of people are quite sentimental about their old schools/ universities Especially if they did well there. I would be more inclined to offer work experience placements or help out my old school if they got in contact with me than perhaps other schools. DH works in in finance and so much of getting on in those circles especially in the lucrative jobs is about who you know

Why are private schools so expensive? What is the money spent on?? And what if you have two children? The costs are enormous. Perhaps those costs could be put towards university education or investing in a flat for your child later on? I do understand your reasons for wanting to go private but just think of how much you'll be spending. Could you move to be nearer a better state school? This is our plan and we'll be helping our children at home. What are your DCs like? are they very academic? What is the local state school like?
Whether you go state or private the main things to consider are: Is my child happy? Is my child safe? And is he/she fulfilling his/her potential? If you can tick all of those boxes then your child is in the right school! I don't think that what the parents do for a living and fear of mixing with peers unlike yourself should come into it. I also think all this networking is done at the super selective very expensive private schools and the rest aren't really like that. As in the state sector, there's a huge range.

The OP is slightly ridiculous IMHO. You need to visit individual schools and see if you and your child like them and the ethos. We made the decision to privately educate our children because if they go through all these years of excellent academic and pastoral teaching and care and then decide to be hairdressers/grooms/housewives, at least we know we gave them every chance we could have and they must REALLY want to be a hairdresser/groom/housewife!