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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

What i would have liked to know before my DC started yr 7

65 replies

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 04/05/2011 10:22

Just thought this might help a few nervous souls waiting for their kids to start Big School (lol )
Firstly after they have done their SATS their is bugger all going on in school the kids get bored . Might be the time to schedule doctors and dentist appointments .
This year has totally flown by . Only a few months until summer holls . At first it was a bit daunting but seriously ,literally a few weeks in and it seemed to me that he had always been there .
Luckily for me my Ds is in a very nice (educationally and pastoral ) comp .
The homework thing is really not as bad as they make out ,certainly no worse than primary school . I have found it useful to say in reply to putting off homework that I didn't set the work so don't moan to me .
(LOL)
They HONESTLY do make new friends.They try new things in the canteen . They get a bit too big for their boots for a week or two and then they revert back to the charming little monsters that they are now .
So basically all the stuff I was worried about and dreading came to nothing . I promise it wont be as bad as you think it will .
Oh and as a side thought a lot of parents in my Ds last year at junior school seemed to think that as their child was going to secondary school that they had better let them have a bit of freedom and responsibility .
All well and good but may be a trip to the local shop on their own Not a day at a very large theme park on their own all day (no parents on site ) aged 10. or going to the next big town by train for eight hours and then picked up at the staion aged 10 . (can you tell I was shocked but personal choice . )

OP posts:

lostinwales · 04/05/2011 10:25

Thank you, that's just the thing I needed to hear today when my precious baby starts his last term in primary school, I am so anxious about him going up to 'big school'! All I care about is getting him to this time next year in one piece, god knows what I'll be like if he wants to go to uni....

Original poster

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 04/05/2011 10:34

Uni well simple I will be getting a flat in nearby . no worries . My ds is still my baby ,just because they go to big school they are still a baby just in a bigger body . (same for men really LOL)

OP posts:

mummyofteens · 04/05/2011 14:29

Now I am at that stage, my son hopefully goes to uni in the autumn and it really feels like no time at all that he was about to start secondary school. My son will be 18 next week ........ :)

mummyofteens · 04/05/2011 14:31

and he has more than survived secondary school, he has absolutely thrived and is absolutely lovely although I am rather biased :D

I guess what I am trying to say is embrace the change (does that sound abit yucky) but you know what I mean!

Ormirian · 04/05/2011 14:34

Totally agree OP.

DS1 started 3 years ago now and DD last year and it's like they've never been anywhere else. It can be the making of them.

themildmanneredjanitor · 04/05/2011 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotchpotchHoney · 04/05/2011 14:46

ds1 is in yr9 and it flies by. I can;t beleive that he has submitted his options and will begin GCSE coursework come September.

I hope you ds stays lovely, unfortunatley my ds is now a horrible stroppy teenager with friends I don;t trust. Despite living in a nice area and attending a 'good' school. I just hope that we have instilled in him enough morals that he won;t get into trouble.

I can;t imagine a time when the children are all grown up and off at uni or in thier own flats/houses etc. I'm sure it will be a relief and a sad time all in one.

lljkk · 04/05/2011 14:47

mummyofteens · 04/05/2011 16:13

I can't imagine a time when the kids have gone off to uni or whatever, I also have a daughter who is 16 next month. I have a tendency to worry too much about them but I know they will be fine. There is so much bad news about job situations etc in the news but I left school at the beginning of the 1980s and that was a pretty grim time too and I think we have done OK. In many ways, my kids are far more confident and outgoing than I ever was as a teenager and they are just so looking forward to going out into the big wide world.

bigTillyMint · 04/05/2011 17:35

janitor, nothing like as much as at primary!

You have to grit your teeth and hope that they are able to manage themselves much more independently - it would be soooooo embarassing to be chasing up every little thing!

However, for serious issues, I have had great success with emailing and the odd phone call

Ragwort · 04/05/2011 17:41

Wakeup - this is very interesting, thankyou; my concern is how well do most children adapt to organising their own workload - my DS is very quite lazy and I just can't see how he will 'manage' his work; I don't want to be a pushy mum and do it for him but I just cannot imagine him working hard academically and putting a bit of effort into his work - he is more than capable - just idle - reminds me of my own school reports 'capable of achieving much more than than the bare minimum' .
Do they suddenly become all serious and get on with their work - or not?

gingeroots · 04/05/2011 18:19

Ragwort - most secondary schools are really organised and well used to Ds's like yours .
They will probably be quite proactive in propmting your Ds - and have systems in place eg diary/planner for parents to sign ,on line info re homework .
If not ,don't hesitate with the emails and phonecalls - you're a concerned parent wanting to work in partnership with the school to help your DS achieve his potential !

wotss · 04/05/2011 19:16

Yes, I felt a bit silly the first time I emailed about something relatively minor - the kind of thing I might normally have mentioned to the teacher at pick-up time at primary school - emailing felt like an overly formal, over the top way of communicating.

At secondary school level it's the ideal way to communicate - the teacher can phone back if neccessary.

bubblecoral · 04/05/2011 20:42

Thanks for this OP!, Very good to read.

I could have written Ragworts post, ds oraginisng himself is my biggest worry!

Original poster

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 05/05/2011 10:25

Ragwort I know you probably wont believe me but they will sort it out . The first couple of weeks they have an older kid showing them round (mentor ) So at least they know where to go . They will after a few weeks not want to be shown up by forgetting there homework so peer pressure will help there . We got stuff ready the night before bags packed and all that . Also I printed off his time table and stuck it on the fridge . Anal mother me I put his time table on a card thingy big enough to fit in blazer pocket and covered it in sticky back plastic . My theory was don't set them up to fail .So he didn't have to scrabble about finding time table . His sports kit went in three separate draw string bags , one for football,one for gym and one for basketball . This really helped as it was really clear which was which so he only had to grab one bag . Lunch payment was easy as they have it all computerised . My DS has project based homework and this is all on the computer so easy to find if he forgets . No xbox until home work started . They can and do so much better than we think they can .. Show some faith and they will surprise you . The school have been brilliant when I have phoned up . My Ds had a phone stolen . He did not put in a secure place . (he said and I quote " I didn't think they would steal mine as I thought they would go go for the iPhone 4 ,s ) So maybe think about insurance or a really cheap one from Tescos . I'm sure other mums netters can come up with useful tips but I promise it will be alright . I wished I had believed this sentence when I started out . Just as an afterthought . He went to school today with out his coat . Blazer but no coat . Its raining In junior I would have dropped one off . He would kill me if I did that now . To embarrassed in front of mates . LOL

OP posts:

Original poster

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 05/05/2011 10:27

Ragwort I know you probably wont believe me but they will sort it out .
The first couple of weeks they have an older kid showing them round (mentor ) So at least they know where to go .
They will after a few weeks not want to be shown up by forgetting there homework so peer pressure will help there .
We got stuff ready the night before bags packed and all that . Also I printed off his time table and stuck it on the fridge .
Anal mother me I put his time table on a card thingy big enough to fit in blazer pocket and covered it in sticky back plastic . My theory was don't set them up to fail .So he didn't have to scrabble about finding time table .
His sports kit went in three separate draw string bags , one for football,one for gym and one for basketball . This really helped as it was really clear which was which so he only had to grab one bag .
Lunch payment was easy as they have it all computerised .
My DS has project based homework and this is all on the computer so easy to find if he forgets .
No xbox until home work started . They can and do so much better than we think they can .. Show some faith and they will surprise you .
The school have been brilliant when I have phoned up . My Ds had a phone stolen . He did not put in a secure place . (he said and I quote " I didn't think they would steal mine as I thought they would go go for the iPhone 4 ,s ) So maybe think about insurance or a really cheap one from Tescos .
I'm sure other mums netters can come up with useful tips but I promise it will be alright . I wished I had believed this sentence when I started out
. Just as an afterthought . He went to school today with out his coat . Blazer but no coat . Its raining In junior I would have dropped one off . He would kill me if I did that now . To embarrassed in front of mates . LOL

OP posts:

Madsometimes · 05/05/2011 11:20

Does anyone else had a child that is in denial about going to secondary school?

I am trying to get her to become more independent, but she is not interested. She does not want to leave the house without me. I guess I could take her to school because it starts 30 mins before dd2's primary, but it is only around the corner so I am sure she could walk on her own!

Ragwort · 05/05/2011 11:48

Thanks for the practical advice ginger and wakeup - that's very helpful and I appreciate the tips .

wordfactory · 05/05/2011 12:39

DD went to secondary in september knowing no-one else. And she was going on the bus for the first time.

I needn't have worried at all.

She loves it. Has made oodles of friends. Seems to have blossomed in all ways. It is a pleasure to see her growing into a young lady.

Original poster

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 05/05/2011 16:33

My Ds went to school with only 7 kids from his old school but only one was in his form and unfortunately they didn't have anything in common .
So I think realistically although I never in a million years would i have chosen this set up I think it was the making of him and made him try and make friends .
As the saying goes To make friends you have to be a friend .

OP posts:

wordfactory · 05/05/2011 22:10

I also advised my DD to join every club going...if she later decided that pottery and chess weren't for her, then no harm done, but friends might be made in the interim.

Original poster

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 06/05/2011 07:39

My Ds put his foot down about joining Glee club LOL

OP posts:

MoreBeta · 06/05/2011 07:48

DS1 starts secondary in September. We too have encouraged him to join every club going, do his homework at school and not expect to be home before 5.30.

Having said that he really isnt capable of crossing a road on his own and has never been good at social relationships or handling any kind of change in his environment so worryng like mad and will send him and his brother (going to the junior school on the same site) in a taxi as we have no school buses round here.

He will

MoreBeta · 06/05/2011 07:49

He will be OK.

foxinsocks · 06/05/2011 07:49

I think the homework will be a shock for dd. My dcs go to a primary school with barely any homework - the most they've ever had to do takes about 20 mins a week and we have been told by others in our area that the secondary schools are a shock (in terms of homework) for dcs who have come from our borough's primaries so I'm waiting for that!

I still can't believe that my little baby is off to secondary school . I am normally very un mushy about stuff like this but can really barely believe it! Where did that time go! She's also an August child so does seem younger still compared to the others (though is tall as she's had an early growth spurt!).

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