What i would have liked to know before my DC started yr 7

[wakeupandsmellthecoffee]

Just thought this might help a few nervous souls waiting for their kids to start Big School (lol )
Firstly after they have done their SATS their is bugger all going on in school the kids get bored . Might be the time to schedule doctors and dentist appointments .
This year has totally flown by . Only a few months until summer holls . At first it was a bit daunting but seriously ,literally a few weeks in and it seemed to me that he had always been there .
Luckily for me my Ds is in a very nice (educationally and pastoral ) comp .
The homework thing is really not as bad as they make out ,certainly no worse than primary school . I have found it useful to say in reply to putting off homework that I didn't set the work so don't moan to me .
(LOL)
They HONESTLY do make new friends.They try new things in the canteen . They get a bit too big for their boots for a week or two and then they revert back to the charming little monsters that they are now .
So basically all the stuff I was worried about and dreading came to nothing . I promise it wont be as bad as you think it will .
Oh and as a side thought a lot of parents in my Ds last year at junior school seemed to think that as their child was going to secondary school that they had better let them have a bit of freedom and responsibility .
All well and good but may be a trip to the local shop on their own Not a day at a very large theme park on their own all day (no parents on site ) aged 10. or going to the next big town by train for eight hours and then picked up at the staion aged 10 . (can you tell I was shocked but personal choice . )

give your children independence and responsbility in small incremental packages because by the time they hit Y7 they will be expected to take responsibility for their own equipment, homework, communication home and will nto be allowed to be babies; they will be expected to get to school and back alone after a short while and get over minor ailments, bumps, papercuts without wailing down the walls

get ready for Y8 / 9 when they start to treat you with disdain - ignore it - it goes away

Plan to devote a lot of time in the first two weeks to helping them establish their routines. Support them in finding places for their stuff to live at home, routines for packing their bags, getting PE kit in the wash promptly, doing homework effectively, replenishing missing/lost/used stationery.

If you can sit down with them each day for the first two weeks to find out what they've learned about school routines and admin, encourage them to learn the names of new classmates and teachers. And enthuse them about joining extra-curric clubs.

I did find the first few weeks tiring, but it paid off and both boys were soon very confident and settled. And never looked back.

If you just leave them to it, they will look as though they are coping, but may be floundering a bit. Very few children don't have a successful transition, especially if they have support and encouragement at home.

"You get less homework in year 7 than you did in year 6"

Agree with the rest but not the last statement. DS is now yr10 and DDyr8, but in the beginning of yr7 homework took over our lives. It was like every teacher was making a statement. DS doing his GCSEs gets less homework now than in the beginning of yr7.

As a year 7 form tutor, here's what the school would like you to know:

• We do this every year. We want the best for your child and for them to settle down quickly and help them succeed to the best of their ability. If we put them in a form without their friend, it is not to ruin their chances of these things but to help them make new friends (and, half the time, because the primary school have suggested that when they are together they have a tendency to chat just a LITTLE bit)

• please do not assume that you can speak to your child's teacher at "drop off" or "pick up". While it would be lovely to be able to see parents everyday, this is not something senior schools do, and asking me why I wasn't outside after school is not going to change that.

• I am always more than happy to speak to parents on the phone or via email or with an appointment. However, I teach 416 children this year; please don't introduce yourself as James' mum and then get offended when I ask which James.

• I don't know where your child's tie is. The school site has 15 buildings and I do not have time to retrace their steps around 8 of them to hunt for it. Sorry.

• No, I cannot go and sit in science with your son to make sure he writes down the homework. He is in senior school. I have explained (and explained, and explained) how to use his planner and I cannot protect him from the consequences of not doing it.

• I don't know how your son's maths lesson went as I am a history teacher. No, we didn't talk about it in the staffroom at lunchtime. I can find out and am happy to do so, but I don't have psychic powers.

They will be fine and in a few months you won't imagine them being anywhere else. Please trust that the school does know what we're doing and we do genuinely want the best for your child.

Katie I have to smile at your post . so true .

My own ds is in Y5, so not going up to secondary until next year. But I do have a question, to answer to which might have a bearing on the school we choose come October...

How quickly do they adapt to the rough and tumble of the time between lessons? The jostling in the corridors, that kind of thing.

Ds and his class spent an entire day at a secondary recently and they all came back slightly traumatised (hyperbole? Me?!?) by the bigger kids. Ds said they need more discipline

Some kids swore at ds's friends, and two of his friends got bashed semi-accidentally.

Now I've worked in secondary schools and indeed went to one myself (!) and I know that confined spaces filled with exhuberant, giant teenagers can be a bit intimidating if you're 11. But I don't recall feeling quite as apprehensive as ds and his friends are.

Should this be a warning sign? Or is it normal?

Sorry meant to start that by saying what a great idea for a thread this is, wakeup.

Well it's certainly sown a few doubts in my mind.

It was only the Y7, 8 and 9s there (I guess the others have finished their exams) so it isn't as if the buildings and outside areas were as full as they'd usually be. Although I wonder if the Y10s and up have a calming influence on the rest

Traumatised was probably putting it a bit strong, but they were certainly taken further aback than I'd expected them to be (I was anticipating a bit of but not that much).

Ds still wants to go there. His best friend will be going, as his sister is there already (she agreed it can get a bit hairy in the corridors, but apparently the teachers do seem to act if they complain).

The school is Ofsted Outstanding, with some great things going on. But the "Good" school down the road, the tiny one with the crap GCSE results (CVA scores for both pretty much the same), suddenly appeals more to me now. I think I might be suffering from PFB-syndrome though...

My DS on induction day got pushed by an older girl going past . He had an actual bruise on his chest bone .
Seriously I was upset but I couldnt change what had happened .
I still love the school think its fab . This is all after he has had his phone stolen this year and was put in the wrong maths group .
I was told by a child on viewing night that some kids smoke in the loos . When I broached this with a teacher he admitted yes they did and it wasnt always tobacco . Also there were notices on the wall about bullying and what to do if it happened ie tell a mentor or teacher. Dont walk home alone .
I said to the teacher that this scared the hell out of me . His reply was well dont you think that its good that we do not deny it happens and by bringing it out into the open we can deal with it more easily .
I do think alot of school deny that bullying happens . And yes I still think its a great school . This is in Surrey not an inner London school by the way .

Oh that's reassuring, wakeup :)

5 more days and year 8 begins . Now I will start worrying about Gcse and all that entails . God help me I do like to worry .

They will be fine, my DS and DD went to their school knowing no one - a school of some 1300, they sailed through it!! Loved it and made loads of friends!!